Ugh. Sorry ladies but I am feeling defeated in this moment. Took DD to dance class tonight and it turned into a disaster. She wasn't behaving and got sent out so I had a talk with her and let her go back in. Out she came 10 minutes later. So I told her to sit by my chair until time to switch from ballet to tap and if she would like she could ask her instructor to join. Well she began kicking and pouting and I was done. So in front of all the other moms with kids who were still in class behaving there I was struggling to pick up my 45lb child as she was kicking and screaming all the way out. I lost it on her in the car and yelled which I don't normally like to do. Then I just got silent and didn't speak the whole way home. I feel so defeated and embarrassed and slightly ashamed. I know she's 4 and every kid is different but I feel like this is such an uphill battle. It's times like these that not pregnant I would totally have a bottle of wine and cry... And pop a couple ibuprofen because my back is killing me. TIA for reading this rambling rant.
Post by puppygurl21 on Jan 22, 2015 19:49:24 GMT -5
I'm a ftm so I don't have any experience with this but I just wanted to say sorry you're having a rough day. And we all lose it sometimes so it's ok if you feel that you didn't act as well as you would have liked. We've all been there on that one, I'm sure.
Deep breath. It happens. It sucks and it is embarrassing. I had a day like you on Tuesday. I cried my eyes out in frustration and shame for yelling and getting angry at my 2 year old.
Maybe take a nice bubble bath or long shower and cry it out later. Hugs mama!
A nice bubble bath sounds great. Trying not to cry to avoid a headache but I may give in soon.
Post by ladyannibal on Jan 22, 2015 19:52:51 GMT -5
*creepy cannibal hugs* It's okay. It happens. My step baby is 4 and throws tantrums. I'm definitely on team "I got so frustrated I cry." Being pregnant has taken my tolerance from 100 to 0.
Post by foolofatook on Jan 22, 2015 20:03:39 GMT -5
I yelled at DD literally first thing this morning. She cried and said "I sorry, mommy" over and over until I cried! Ugh. We've all been there, sweetie. Deep breath. You're a good mom.
Post by magaroni86 on Jan 22, 2015 20:03:45 GMT -5
I'm sorry you had a rough day. I yelled at my 2 year old last evening and then cried on the way to work about it. We all have moments we are not proud of. Hope you evening turns around!
You ladies are so sweet and definitely lifting my spirits. I'm trying to just move on from it but of course I feel awful. Thank you for the support ladies.
I found 4 to be a tough age - you THINK they should KNOW BETTER but yet they still tantrum and have little self control. I'm so sorry you had a day like that. What helps me is to practice calm breathing -- with the child is bonus points but just yourself will help, too -- ala Becky Bailey and Conscious Discipline. Sometimes not talking is the right thing. You are human, you have emotions, you need to work through them just like her. When I shout at my kids, I apologize when I've calmed down and talk about moving through my emotions and how I could have done it differently. Obviously your DD has a few things she could have changed as well and I would touch on those when you are both calm, also. Hang in there - tomorrow is a new day!
Post by cgiles120812 on Jan 22, 2015 20:26:27 GMT -5
Aww it's okay. We all have those days, my daughter is almost two and it takes serious patience when those moments happen. A bubble bath sounds good and that always relaxes me.
Post by golfanista on Jan 22, 2015 20:28:35 GMT -5
Oh man, totally been there!! It does get better, don't worry! DS was quite a challenge around the age of 5.. Kindergarten was a very rough year. But.. Now he's almost 11 and that all seems like a million years away. He's turned out great. My point is, all kids go through that rotten phase and it totally sucks. Don't feel bad for yelling. I'm not a yeller either, but boy, when I do yell, he listens! Normally, I would suggest a very tall glass of wine, but maybe a big slice of cake instead? And definitely don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing a great job
I had a morning like that last week. My 6 year old for ready fine for dance and we got there and she freaked out. She was screaming and yelling and kicking and swinging at me. It took everything in me to try and calm her down to go into class. It didn't work. We left and I yelled at her in the car. Later than afternoon i sat down with her and said I was sorry for yelling at her. Then she told me she didn't want to go to class because they had a substitute dance teacher.
Just remember it happens to all of us. Even if everyone else seems to have It together they are probably barely hanging on just like the rest of us.
I'm so sorry you're having a rough day. This will be our first and I know I'll have days like this, we all do. Tomorrow will be a fresh start. No judgement. We all break down.
I am so sorry that happened to you. Echoing PPs it's not easy raising children, especially toddlers. They are still figuring out what they can & can't get away with and are very trying. I've had moments like that with DS & I found it soothing to just take a walk. It's normal to lose your cool sometimes, we're all human.
I'm sorry you're having a rough day. It happens to all of us. Just remember that you were given YOUR daughter because you're the right mom for her...even when either of you have a bad day. Though you may have reacted differently than you wanted (and so did she), the beautiful thing is that it gives you the opportunity to teach her that people have bad days and get upset, but they can also admit that something went wrong. It's humbling as an adult to admit to a child (my main experience is with high school students, both as a teacher and a foster parent) that you made a mistake, but I've found that those times can really build the relationship based on what happens afterwards.
I'm sorry you're having a rough day. It happens to all of us. Just remember that you were given YOUR daughter because you're the right mom for her...even when either of you have a bad day. Though you may have reacted differently than you wanted (and so did she), the beautiful thing is that it gives you the opportunity to teach her that people have bad days and get upset, but they can also admit that something went wrong. It's humbling as an adult to admit to a child (my main experience is with high school students, both as a teacher and a foster parent) that you made a mistake, but I've found that those times can really build the relationship based on what happens afterwards.
Hang in there, momma. You can do this
I love every bit of this. Thank you. After a bath and an episode of SOA I went into her room and asked her to sit up and give me a kiss. She said "I'm sorry" and I said "I know you are and mommy is sorry for yelling at you, I should have calmed down before talking to you about it". She broke my heart and said "But when I said sorry in the car you said you didn't want to hear it!".... There was quite the pause as I looked for the right words. So, I just said "I'm sorry, it wasn't my place to decide if you were actually sorry or not, mommy was upset and reacted poorly." Of course as a four year old she just said "OK mommy I love you, next week I will listen at dance" and that was that. Some days are better than others, we are just going through a rough patch behavior wise. It is always harder in public of course. Thank you ladies.
Post by anfranklin2 on Jan 23, 2015 16:40:39 GMT -5
All you can do is breathe!! Bad days will happen with toddlers, period. No matter what you try to do to avoid it, it's impossible. I don't know how i would handle it pregnant, as it hasn't happened (fx it doesn't) It sounds like you handled it great after the fact, and that's all that matters at this point. Everyone has the right to lose their cool every once in a while. You got this!
I'm so sorry. I think most moms have days like this. I know I have. My son has no emotional control when he is tired. That leads to so many breakdowns. I always feel like I am the only one who has a child like this, but I know that is not true. Most kids have their moments.
One time I was at a local store and all three kids broke down screaming. I could hardly get out of the store. Even the cashiers had to open the doors and help me out of the store. To make matters worse, there were at least 5 or 6 people I knew well that were in the store and witnessed this. I told my MIL about how I didn't think I could ever go to that store again and she laughed. She said, "I know exactly what all those other people are thinking. They are just glad it is not them."
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