<3<3<3 Weekly Check-in June 9 >^_^< >^_^< >^_^<

[juliayadda]

Hey everyone:

Feel free to check in with us and we can all give and receive compassion and support. I am sure there are some new people that would like to be tagged with a reminder when the check-in is posted. Feel free to PM me if you would like to be tagged. 

flcl, mrsb1008, yoshijo28, @rocknrollfriend, @wallflwr926, @ordinaryamy, runnergirl812, helloamanda, @giamia923, snarkysparklefart, @alleykat05, bluerainfire, sko14, @erin2021, spencer1337, RedDDD icequeen
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Please state your diagnosis and/or status:




How is your week going?




Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?




Any changes in medication or recent appointments?




GTKY: What is the best compliment you have ever received?

[juliayadda]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status:

Depression/Anxiety

How is your week going?

Not the best.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?

I am having trouble with the tax authorities and it is causing me a lot of stress (reviewing my eligibility from years ago for a tax credit) Work and friends and such are also stressing me out. Oh and home life, and hormones.


Any changes in medication or recent appointments?

None, but I think I am due for a GP check up.


GTKY: What is the best compliment you have ever received?

Why did I ask such a hard question? I do like when people compliment my son's manners because I validates my feels on parenting.

[icequeen]

*Pregnancy and Loss Mentioned*

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, GAD, PPD, dissociative disorder

How is your week going? So far it's not too bad. I graduated from my RE and am seeing my OB on Friday. I was admitted to the hospital for electrolyte imbalance and anemia but luckily only had to stay for a little while since my levels seemed to balance out on their own without an IV. Also, I've been stressed because DD just can't catch a break with being sick so we haven't been doing much except going to doctor's appts for either her or me.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? I am struggling with binging/purging and restricting. I also started running again because my body image is extremely poor right now. I have been struggling communicating with DH because he feels like he can control my illnesses, and he can't. It results in a lot of "policing" and only makes me more anxious. I am happy that I have not been weighing myself and am at a stable weight. I've been doing better with keeping down my meals, although it's been harder with the pregnancy related nausea.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? I am only taking Prozac right now. My psych and dietitian dropped me from their care because I refused to go into inpatient for the duration of my pregnancy. I am still seeing my therapist weekly, and OB/MFM every few weeks.

GTKY: What is the best compliment you have ever received? A lot of people have told me that I am a good listener and that I am always the one to go to for advice. More recently, I've been told I am a good mom, but I doubt that some times.

I will back to check in on y'all later today!

[KayVeeKay]

Diagnosis:
PPD

How is your week?
I have a cold, so I'm tired, cranky, and have some serious sinus pressure. It figures that this happens the week AFTER I took a week off from work.

Struggles/accomplishments:
I called the patient advocate for my psych to try and get more information about what's going on. He was pretty much useless and supposedly set up a phone call for me and the psych to talk. That was Friday. If I don't hear from her by the end of the day, I'm going to call them back.

Meds/appointments:
No changes in meds save for starting a lactation supplement in hopes of recovering some of my milk supply. I had an appt with the psych last week, and we spent the whole time talking about all the flooding and places she should visit when she goes on vacation later this summer if they're open, since I'm really familiar with the area she'll be visiting. I forgot my PCP appt and had to reschedule for the next available on 6/24. I have an appt with my social worker this afternoon, so maybe she will have more info about my medical status.

GTKY:
I've been told that I'm a really hard worker and that when I am away from work, it's obvious.

[yoshijo28]

Hi everyone. I apologize that I haven't checked in for a few weeks but I was struggling with stuff and was nervous about someone finding out who I am IRL. Ill just post what I'm somewhat comfortable with and stick to the password board for anything else. I'll be back to comment on others later today. Anyway, hope it's ok that I'm back.

**adult death mentioned below**

Diagnosis: anorexia, ocd, anxiety

How is your week going? Im restricting and continuing to exercise. I've started reducing the amount I eat for breakfast and have upped my exercise amount. I've lost a few lbs since the last check in.

Struggles/accomplishments: my uncle passed away last week and I am feeling responsible. Because I chose to have an ED and I'm being selfish and won't change I think I caused this to happen to him. I'm struggling with accepting that he died and my ocd is holding me responsible.

Changes in appointments/medications: I'm continuing to meet with my therapist weekly who has recommended outpatient. She also strongly recommended that I take Zoloft for my ocd. The more I explain my rituals, obessions, and compulsions the more she urges me to take it. For whatever reason I don't want to go on it. I was on it 10 yrs ago and dont want to face the fact that I need it again.

QOTW: I get a lot of compliments at work that I'm approachable and a good listener. I keep a box of tissues on my desk because employees will just come to me and share any struggles and just cry. Kind of strange but I like being there for them.

[Deleted]

juliayadda, ack! taxes - I'm so sorry! That's stressful even without any issues! Good luck - I hope it works out.
icequeen, I'm glad your hospital stay wasn't too long and you got back to good status quickly. I'll keep you in my T&P for a happy and healthy pregnancy
KayVeeKay, feel better!
yoshijo28, ((hugs)). I'm so sorry for your loss. Know that it's not your fault. Welcome back.

So... I kind of come and go. Everything has been incredibly busy lately so I dropped off for awhile and focused mainly on my BMB.

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: No official diagnosis, but suspected postpartum PTSD and PMDD

How is your week going? So far so good, though I'm just irritable. My PMDD is typically in full swing right before AF, but AF was supposed to be here 4 days ago... and my PMDD has started to diminish a bit. I POAS yesterday and it was negative, so not sure what's going on there. Maybe the BF?

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? Struggle: I am so irritated with my husband lately and I don't like it. It's nothing he's doing. He's wonderful! I am just finding myself super nit-picky and controlling lately. Ugh! Accomplishment: I've been doing yoga at least 5 days a week for the last two weeks and am seeing an improvement in my anxiety. I have another appointment with my somatic therapist today and am really looking forward to it.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? No changes. I'm seeing my somatic therapist weekly right now. I might start going bi-weekly as I'm doing better.

GTKY: What is the best compliment you have ever received? My mom told me I was so creative - I did a lot of DIY for my DS's birthday.

[RedDDD]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: Depression, Anxiety

How is your week going? Fine.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? Still struggle with drinking less wine. I finally had a moment alone after everyone went to bed and I had a couple glasses of wine and it was just so enjoyable. Ugh. But now Im out so no more wine this week.

The other thing that is bothering me is every day around 2-3pm I get hot flashes and feel like Im sweating. Im wondering if it is the prozac cuz I was tested a few months ago for early menopause and OB said everything looked normal. My mom went into early menopause around age 40 and I had a tubal which I have heard some women having early menopause symptoms after a tubal. Im 37. But since it is almost the exact same time every day i feel like it is medication related. Anyone else heard of this happening?

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? nope

GTKY: What is the best compliment you have ever received? I have been told I am very loyal. I also get told I have good hair So thanks Mom for the good hair genes

[Deleted]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: schizophrenia, PTSD


How is your week going? Meh. I've not been feeling great lately. I started metformin to help with ovulation and it's making me feel awful. I can't seem to make myself eat a big enough meal to not feel sick after taking it. I've pretty much been lazing around the house and not doing anything so avoid puking. Though I did manage to get some laundry done today.


Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share? We're finally starting to TTC again and the stress of it all has caused some problems. I've become a lot more paranoid and unless it settles down soon I'm going to have to increase my psych meds. So hopefully I can get control of it.


Any changes in medication or recent appointments? I'm in the process of changing psych providers. Right now I only have a psychiatrist and case manager, no therapist. But next week I have an appt with a psychologist and my PCP will take over prescribing my psych meds since they're not changing anymore. With my insurance I can only have one mental health provider, so I can't see the psychiatrist AND a therapist since they're not in the same office. So whatever. Hopefully it all works out. I met the psychologist last week at an appt with my PCP and I think we'll get along. But only time will tell.


GTKY: What is the best compliment you have ever received? Being told by the founder of the company that I used to work for that he had never seen anyone do so well with taking care of our clients. I absolutely loved that job and it felt really good to know that I was so good at it. I hope one day to be able to go back to work in that field again.

[motownthrowdown]

***LC mentioned***

Diagnosis/status: post partum depression, general anxiety disorder

How is your week going? Went back to work on half days this week. It's been kind of nice to get out of the NICU and see other people. I feel like a bad mom because I feel like I don't miss my daughter enough when I'm gone. Attachment problems? Bonding problems? I've only held her about 7 times, so I wouldn't doubt it. I ordered a bunch of stuff for DH'S first father's day, and I'm excited to give it to him.

Struggles/accomplishments: my baby shower is this weekend (would have been 32 weeks) and my extended family is coming in from out of town. I'm feeling very possessive and controlling about everyone coming to see her in the NICU. They all think she's just a small baby and that DH and I are overreacting. She was born at 28 weeks, will be 32 weeks gestational this weekend. Since she was so early, she is very sensitive to light, noise, smells (cue old lady perfume that makes ME sneeze, let alone a 3 pound baby)...they all seem to think they will be able to hold her. I've held her 7 times, DH has done it 4. She's almost a month old and she's been held 11 times. On top of that, they are all flying in and don't understand why we don't want then coming straight from the airport with their germy airport clothes on.

Medications: no change. Synthroid 125mcg and lexapro 10mg. I feel like the lexapro is really helping me out.

Best compliment: DH told me I was brave after my emergency c section and that he admired my determination to keep pumping, even though I'm having supply issues.

[icequeen]

juliayadda, I'm sorry your week is so stressful. I hope the taxes get worked out soon and there are no more issues. It seems like you are taking on a lot, so I just hope you also take some time for yourself to reset. I love your GTKY question (and answer). I am sure you are a fantastic mom.
KayVeeKay, I hope your cold gets better. WTF to your psych? Clearly she has priorities.. I don't know if this is correct but is the psych you are seeing the one involved at your job? Or is there another psych you can go to for a second opinion on your diagnosis? I hope the SW appointment is productive today.
yoshijo28, I know it is hard to believe, but your OCD has nothing to do with your uncle's passing. Is there a specific reason why you are against outpatient? Would you ever consider it? The only times I actually made improvements with my ED is when I truly wanted to get better and work on my recovery in therapy. I hope you can give up some of the control you feel you have on your behaviors and allow the zoloft to help you. I can imagine you feel a little defeated by having to take meds again, but it may be worth a try if you want to improve your symptoms. ((HUGS))
@usernameedit, I hope all went well with your son's birthday party! I'm sure you did an excellent job. Have you already told YH that you are going through a rough time and to not take your words to heart? Maybe he already knows this, but it helps me calm down when I just verbalize to DH that I'm upset and it has nothing to do with him even though I might be taking it out on him. I hope you have a great appointment today; the somatic therapist sounds great!
RedDDD, I'm glad your week is going ok. Are all your kids healthy? I know for a while everyone was sick. I take Prozac too, and I take it at night because it made me feel off during the day if I took it in the morning. When do you take it? I'm willing to bet it is the Prozac, rather than early menopause. Did you set a limit on the amount of wine you drink per week. Maybe it would be helpful to only restock once a week so you aren't tempted to drink more than you should.

ETA to tag motownthrowdown, girl I would not be feeling bad about telling your family to take it easy with your newborn. I would actually prefer no one has any interaction with her until she is a few weeks to a month older. I would be worried sick with all the commotion. Be firm and set boundaries for everyone because this is YOUR baby! I'm sorry everyone is being so forceful. I'm glad you were able to go back to work and I would feel relieved to be out of the NICU environment too. You are most definitely not a bad mom, you are doing the right thing. So proud of you for the BF'ing and pumping, too. YH is right on point! I'll keep praying for your family.

[KayVeeKay]

icequeen It's the same one. My SW cancelled today (surprise, surprise), so I'm getting a little fed up with her as well.

[icequeen]

Jun 10, 2015 14:59:19 GMT -5 KayVeeKay said:

icequeen It's the same one. My SW cancelled today (surprise, surprise), so I'm getting a little fed up with her as well.

JFC. What is with these people? I'm so sorry.

[RedDDD]

icequeen, Yep everyone is back on the mend thanks for asking. I was taking prozac in the afternoon initially so that I wouldn't have to deal with the first side effects while at work but then I felt like I may have been having issues with my sleep. So I have been taking it for about two weeks first thing in the morning. However now I notice the sweating/hot flashes and then fatigue around 3pm. So not sure if maybe I should just take it right before bed?? I like your idea of not restocking my wine supply during the week. My goal is no wine on work nights but I haven't been as good about it. One day at a time right?

[icequeen]

Jun 10, 2015 15:04:47 GMT -5 RedDDD said:

icequeen, Yep everyone is back on the mend thanks for asking. I was taking prozac in the afternoon initially so that I wouldn't have to deal with the first side effects while at work but then I felt like I may have been having issues with my sleep. So I have been taking it for about two weeks first thing in the morning. However now I notice the sweating/hot flashes and then fatigue around 3pm. So not sure if maybe I should just take it right before bed?? I like your idea of not restocking my wine supply during the week. My goal is no wine on work nights but I haven't been as good about it. One day at a time right?

You're doing great! I take it right before bed and have no issues during the day.

[juliayadda]

motownthrowdown I would simply tell your family that seeing your daughter is impossible and try to not feel guilty. NICUs in Canada do not allow visitors at all, and only two people are allowed in the unit per child. Take some pictures to your shower and assure family that once she is healthy you will attention whore her all over the place.

Your shower about you becoming a mother anyway. Which you are. An amazing one from what I have read.

[Deleted]

icequeen, thank you yes, DS's birthday part went great. The only thing that got to me was our spoiled niece trying to open all the presents and crowding me so much that DS lost interest. Her mother was sitting right there and did nothing. But I had to just let it go.

I am very open with my DH about what's going on with me. He knows I've changed emotionally since giving birth and he is very supportive. He actually great at letting things go (almost to a fault) so I'm trying to take his lead on a few things.

Somatic therapy is amazing. The appointment today went really well. She kind of rides the waves with you and helps change the direction if it feels overwhelming. I feel progress everytime I go there.

[yoshijo28]

juliayadda the tax situations sounds so stressful, I hope it works out for you soon!
KayVeeKay feel better!
icequeen I'm so happy you didn't need to be admitted and your levels were ok. I totally understand the urge to workout and I know your anxiety is through the roof because to have a healthy pregnancy you need to gain weight at a healthy rate, but please be careful. I don't want you to hurt yourself and I know you don't want that either. You're doing a great job with not weighing yourself and I'm very proud of you!
@usernameedit, yoga sounds like like it's really helpful for you, it's great you're able to do it consistently. I've never heard of somatic therapy so I just googled it-it sounds really interesting, I'm glad it's helping you!
motownthrowdown I think you're absolutely making the right call about being weary of people around your newborn. I wouldn't want too many people around my baby, especially given the circumstances. What you're going through is stressful enough without others giving their opinions and making it worse. Stand your ground, you're making the right call.
@led sorry you're not feeling well from the metformin, I hope the side effects go away soon for you
RedDDD I had a similar goal with wine several months ago because I realized I was starting to come home and want to drink. So I limited myself to Friday and Saturday nights only like you mentioned you tried to do. I hope you are able to stick to weekends only next week!

[flcl]

juliayadda, I'm sorry you're having a tough week... I hope that things work out with the tax authorities

icequeen, hang in there, FX that things get better for your soon

KayVeeKay, I hope you get over your cold soon... wtf is up with your sw?? I'm sorry that she/he isn't more reliable....

yoshijo28, it's nice to see you back on here. I'm so sorry for the loss of your uncle. I hope you get the OCD tendencies under control soon

@usernameedit, I get like that with H sometimes too... it's like I use up all my patience at work with everyone else that I have so little for him when I get home.

RedDDD, I'm sorry you're out of wine for the week (scary!!) and that you've been getting hot flashes? Maybe it's something you can mention to the doc?

@led, TTC is so stressful, FX that the stress doesn't become overwhelming. Good luck with the transition of your psych providers too, hope everything works out alright

motownthrowdown, I hope things go well with your family. Maybe the staff at the hospital can help you with whatever boundaries you want to give with your LO. Keep us posted...

[flcl]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status:
Depression, anxiety, panic attacks

How is your week going?
So so busy... the school year is wrapping up and there are just so many thing to get done

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
One of the assistants in my department is retiring this year and a teacher isn't returning next year so there have been a TON of parties and social gatherings... Since I am painfully shy and have terrible social anxiety, this past month has been very trying. It's not that I necessarily hate people, I just am so uncomfortable around people... I hate that about myself.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments?
No... I'm still managing through diet and exercise.

GTKY: What is the best compliment you have ever received?
That I'm a good friend and a good listener

[yoshijo28]

flcl I'm the same way with social situations. ((Hugs))! Just get through it the best you can. I used to be able to fake it but now I'm just uncomfortable in large groups where I don't know people and just try to avoid it. DH is dragging me to something this weekend and I'm dreading the small talk. I hope you're able to manage it ok

[flcl]

Jun 10, 2015 20:06:07 GMT -5 yoshijo28 said:

flcl I'm the same way with social situations. ((Hugs))! Just get through it the best you can. I used to be able to fake it but now I'm just uncomfortable in large groups where I don't know people and just try to avoid it. DH is dragging me to something this weekend and I'm dreading the small talk. I hope you're able to manage it ok

Thanks!  Small talk is the worst isn't it?  Good luck to you this weekend!

[juliayadda]

yoshijo28, I am sorry about your Uncle. Hugs. I think you sound like a kind loving person.

icequeen, Celebrate your small victories, I am rooting for you.

KayVeeKay, Good luck with your milk supply. Keep hydrated is my lame BTDT advice, my fun advice is drink some beer! I am appalled you are getting jerked around by your medical professionals! I hope they get there shit together.

@usernameedit, I also suffer from PMDD. My SSRI treats is slightly (I take it for depression/anxiety) but the pain and mood swings still come.

@led, I am happy to hear you are TTC again, but I wish it wasn't so stressful for you. I hope you find an amazing therapist soon.

RedDDD, I had so much wine on Saturday night. It is just so freaking perfect... I try to not have a supply on hand.

flcl, I used to suffer from Social Anxiety disorder (It creeps in randomly but generally I consider it treated) I hope aren't to hard on yourself for feeling awkward or uncomfortable in a crowd. It is hard!

[yoshijo28]

Jun 10, 2015 20:12:53 GMT -5 flcl said:

Jun 10, 2015 20:06:07 GMT -5 yoshijo28 said:

flcl I'm the same way with social situations. ((Hugs))! Just get through it the best you can. I used to be able to fake it but now I'm just uncomfortable in large groups where I don't know people and just try to avoid it. DH is dragging me to something this weekend and I'm dreading the small talk. I hope you're able to manage it ok

Thanks!  Small talk is the worst isn't it?  Good luck to you this weekend!

Seriously! I don't think I'll ever master it. MH is wonderful at it so I usually let him lead if he's with me. I went for my nails last week and was amazed these 2 women who didn't know each other could keep a conversation going for practically the whole nail appointment. In my head I was taking notes like, how do people do this! Lol

[Deleted]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status: Bipolar Disorder, GAD, ADD, and Narcolepsy.

How is your week going? It's going. Still in pain and it seems to have temporarily relocated. I meet with my doctor on Friday to discuss the next step.

Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
I started cleaning my desk today. Actually got a little filing done.

Any changes in medication or recent appointments? Met with my psych yesterday morning. No med changes will occur until I GKU.

GTKY: What is the best compliment you have ever received? I used to have a very nice singing voice (i'm a little rusty these days) People would always tell how surprised they were when I walked on to the stage to sing.

*i'll be back tomorrow to respond to everyone in the thread.

[irishvodkagrl]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status:
Anxiety, Depression, BiPolar Disorder (which is up for some debate)


How is your week going?
A little bumpy. My hours got cut at work and the boys are on a sleep strike so I'm feeling more out of control than usual which is hard for me.


Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
I've cooked dinner every night this week, which is good both physical health-wise and mental health-wise. Cooking has always been a stress reliever for me, and a way for me to be creative and have fun.


Any changes in medication or recent appointments?
I'm on Celexa and have a Xanax prescription for "extreme need" which I haven't used. The Xanax puts me into such a deep sleep that I don't feel comfortable when I have the boys to care for. I am starting to think I need to find a psychiatrist or therapist sooner rather than later, instead of leaving care to my GP.


GTKY: What is the best compliment you have ever received?
Nothing really comes to mind right now. Probably something having to do with my cooking. It's the only real skill I have lol

SPOILER: Click to show

Love to eat or cook? Then I'm your girl!
Check out www.tastefullysimple.com/web/jrisden

[irishvodkagrl]

juliayadda, sorry about the tax credit headache. I hope you figure it out soon!

icequeen, I'm glad your imbalance resolved quickly and you didn't have to be admitted.

KayVeeKay, I'm sorry the patient advocate wasn't helpful. Hopefully you hear from the dr quickly

yoshijo28, I'm so sorry for the loss of your uncle.

@usernameedit, Yoga sounds like great relief! If you don't mind me asking, what is somatic therapy?

RedDDD, I'm sorry about your med side effects. I hope it levels out soon

@led, FX for the new psychologist!

flcl, Hopefully you will get a break from the forced merriment soon.

@wallflwr926, I'm impressed with your filing progress. My desk looks like bomb went off.

motownthrowdown, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! From one NICU mom to another, you need to take care of yourself too. It is completely normal to feel disconnected when you are so limited in your interactions right now. I had the exact same thing when the boys were still on all the wires and CPAP and had limits to the times they could be held or talked to.  You have every right and responsibility to tell your family you appreciate they want to see the baby but no can do at this age. I had my shower after the boys were born too and I just printed out some pics to pass around instead. I'm here if you ever want to talk- feel free to PM me.

SPOILER: Click to show

{Click here to see signature}


Love to eat or cook? Then I'm your girl!
Check out www.tastefullysimple.com/web/jrisden

[Deleted]

irishvodkagrl, somatic therapy is a whole body type therapy. Not just talk therapy. It focuses a lot on your physiological response to things. So, for example, if I talk about something and start to tear up, she'll stop me and ask how my body is feeling and where I'm feeling the stress. Then she asks me to describe it (usually in my shoulders/chest and warm). Then she'll do a few exercises with me to help with stress - like humming "vooooooo...." or breathing techniques, etc. Then she will ask me how my body feels afterwards. It really helps you understand how your body reacts to your mind.

It really helps me realize when I'm stressed out but may not otherwise know it.

She also doesn't delve into difficult issues too much. The general philosophy about that is that overwhelming you counteracts what you are actually trying to do. So, if she sees me getting upset, she'll stop me and walk me through riding out the wave and just letting my body release that tension, stress, anger, sadness, or whatever it is until it passes. Then she'll walk me through the physiological de-stressing and move onto another topic. We might go back to it later, but she doesn't push anything.

[yoshijo28]

irishvodkagrl I agree with you about the Xanax.. It really knocks me out so now I started cutting it in quarters. Sometimes I'll take more if I'm having trouble sleeping but I could imagine it'd be very difficult to take that while caring for babies

@wallflwr926 Sorry you're in pain, I hope you feel better! Hope you get good answers from your dr apt

[yoshijo28]

Jun 10, 2015 14:42:39 GMT -5 icequeen said:

juliayadda, I'm sorry your week is so stressful. I hope the taxes get worked out soon and there are no more issues. It seems like you are taking on a lot, so I just hope you also take some time for yourself to reset. I love your GTKY question (and answer). I am sure you are a fantastic mom.
KayVeeKay, I hope your cold gets better. WTF to your psych? Clearly she has priorities.. I don't know if this is correct but is the psych you are seeing the one involved at your job? Or is there another psych you can go to for a second opinion on your diagnosis? I hope the SW appointment is productive today.
yoshijo28, I know it is hard to believe, but your OCD has nothing to do with your uncle's passing. Is there a specific reason why you are against outpatient? Would you ever consider it? The only times I actually made improvements with my ED is when I truly wanted to get better and work on my recovery in therapy. I hope you can give up some of the control you feel you have on your behaviors and allow the zoloft to help you. I can imagine you feel a little defeated by having to take meds again, but it may be worth a try if you want to improve your symptoms. ((HUGS))
@usernameedit, I hope all went well with your son's birthday party! I'm sure you did an excellent job. Have you already told YH that you are going through a rough time and to not take your words to heart? Maybe he already knows this, but it helps me calm down when I just verbalize to DH that I'm upset and it has nothing to do with him even though I might be taking it out on him. I hope you have a great appointment today; the somatic therapist sounds great!
RedDDD, I'm glad your week is going ok. Are all your kids healthy? I know for a while everyone was sick. I take Prozac too, and I take it at night because it made me feel off during the day if I took it in the morning. When do you take it? I'm willing to bet it is the Prozac, rather than early menopause. Did you set a limit on the amount of wine you drink per week. Maybe it would be helpful to only restock once a week so you aren't tempted to drink more than you should.

ETA to tag motownthrowdown, girl I would not be feeling bad about telling your family to take it easy with your newborn. I would actually prefer no one has any interaction with her until she is a few weeks to a month older. I would be worried sick with all the commotion. Be firm and set boundaries for everyone because this is YOUR baby! I'm sorry everyone is being so forceful. I'm glad you were able to go back to work and I would feel relieved to be out of the NICU environment too. You are most definitely not a bad mom, you are doing the right thing. So proud of you for the BF'ing and pumping, too. YH is right on point! I'll keep praying for your family.

I'm against outpatient mostly because I don't want to be around other people.. I think it will increase my anxiety and I worry about trying to compete with them since I'll think they are thinner or more extreme. I don't want to do that. I'm also kind of against the Zoloft because it will probably make me feel better but I'm scared to feel better because I'm just used to being how I am. If that even makes any sense. I'm also scared to let my ED go and Zoloft will likely help me give it up.

[Deleted]

Please state your diagnosis and/or status:
depression and anxiety


How is your week going?
Mixed, as usual. I got to work outside a lot this week which was a great break from being in the office so much. DH and I have been having a really hard time.


Any struggles or accomplishments you would like to share?
Struggles: I completely shut DH out to protect myself. I even asked him to leave, but he wouldn't. I feel so stuck with him and I don't trust him, and that's ramping up my anxiety. Accomplishments: I did go to our couples therapy today and shared my feelings of shame and distrust, which was REALLY hard. But I did it, and I think it helped. We'll see.


Any changes in medication or recent appointments?
No. I need to find a new therapist still. I just keep getting distracted by other things.


GTKY: What is the best compliment you have ever received?
The compliments that I remember are the ones that are kind of surprising, like when my friends tell me I keep the group together (I'm not exactly a social butterfly) or when my cousin told me I remind her of our grandma (she passed away when I was in high school so that was really special).

I'll also check back in later to reply to everyone. Sorry I've been so busy and MIA lately.