Sleep help moms of 2+

[gk12]

How the hell did you survive the newborn not sleeping and the toddler needing your attention all day?

Everyone says "sleep when the baby sleeps". However this is impossible with another child to care for.

Eleanor does most of her sleeping during the day and DH is only off work til Monday. I'm exhausted and can't imagine how I will do this when he goes back to work.

Also Eleanor will sleep in her swing or the rock n play during the day but at night will not sleep except if DH or I is holding her.
This isn't working. I woke up at 6 am and found that Eleanor had slipped out of DHs arms and her head was all tipped back. Thankfully it was back not forward and she's fine.

DH and I are however freaked out and worried. We don't know what else to do.

The one pedi I saw Monday said to try keeping Eleanor awake more during the day. I've tried everything and she sleeps so soundly it's almost impossible to keep her awake.

I don't understand why she'll sleep in the swing or rock n play except at night. I wanted her to sleep in the halo swivel sleeper bassinet but she won't.

Any suggestions or advice? TIA.

[mightybee]

It's exhausting!

I co-slept with Paige for 12 weeks in another part of the house. I propped myself up on the couch with pillows and held her in my arms. I felt comfortable doing this and we were able to both get some sleep. My H was on Dylan duty and tended to him whenever he woke up MOTN (still does, and I always get P). If you want to keep holding her at night, maybe make sure that you're properly positioned?

I'm still exhausted! But each day is one day closer to sleeping like a normal human again, right?

[mommymadness]

Sadly, your body just adjusts to the sleep deprivation, as it is the new normal!! Even if I do get a chance to nap now, I can't !! It's ridiculous. Sorry!!

[heatherbee]

I'm sorry it's been so hard sleep deprivation is not fun. Could you look into a DC setting for your older DD for a few mornings a week so you can try and rest some? i don't really have any tips, except we used to use the eat - awake - sleep method with DS and DDwhen they were really young and it seemed to help.

[barefoot84]

I may or may not have locked us in Tumaini's room and slept on the floor while she played a few times, during Liam's daytime naps. H has been on night duty for Tumaini since Liam was born. Liam sleeps in a crib next to our bed, and we cosleep the last few hours of the night. Cosleeping has saved my life this time around. It gets better, don't be scared to ask for help or to go to bed when your H gets home from work. Also, chocolate covered coffee beans...

[somethingcleverer]

Right now she probably still has her days and nights mixed up so trying to get that switched will help. When Aubrey was a newborn she slept in our room swaddled in the rock n play. She was right next to the bed so when she woke I didn't have to go far to nurse her. I kept the lights as low as possible to help with the day/night mix up. Do you have anyone who can help you during the day until she's a little bit older?

[bantyrooster]

You adjust. At 5M her sleep still sucks. I got her and Gages afternoon nap to match up, thank God. Also bed sharing a lot. On really bad days we watch movies.

[gk12]

Thanks Everyone! For those of you that said you co-sleep or bed share what does that look like to you?

DH's parents live nearby and his mom has come over once since Eleanor was born. I do know a few high school girls that could come over to help me once school is out but I'd have to pay them something.

[roo1582]

Unfortunately, like the others have stated, you just kind of go with the sleep deprivation. Andrew is (and has always been) a horrible napper. His longest naps are usually about 30 minutes. And I still rarely get the kids naps synced up since by the time I get Kayleigh down, Andrew is back up.

In terms of her sleeping at night, our pedi told us it usually takes a few weeks for the baby to adjust to day/night. He suggested we do our best to interact as much as possible with the baby during the day. Do all your talking, playing, etc then. At night, try to keep the lights off. Don't talk to the baby. Eventually the baby will start to know that night time is "boring" and start sleeping a bit more.

I'm sure none of this is really much help. Sorry

[mrsplaydoh]

Do you play music? I had Juno in the rock n play next to my bed with classical baby music playing on little speakers right behind the rock n play. I found that when it was complete silence or too quiet, she would fight it and stay awake but with the music she just looked around until she fell asleep. Just a thought!! Good luck, it is an adjustment but you'll get into a good routine soon!!!

[bliz1712]

The early days and until about a week before I returned to work, so for 5 weeks, I made a home on the couch and she slept in the RNP next to me. It just worked for us. H was still working and with how much a NB gets up MOTN it was easier for him to get his sleep. When I went back to work she was in the RNP or crib in our room.

I could never get their naps to sync and just recently have after 13 months. I did the co sleeping at night which was huge. She would start out in her crib, which was in our room, and if she woke up I just brought her into bed with me. I sometimes still do. I would side nurse and I would at least get some shut eye. This would help with the marathon nursing at night when I had to work.

Otherwise, what I did was send Hanna to DC 2-3 days a week if not more. I felt she needed that additional attention from the caregiver there and the fun with the kids and it also kept her on a schedule. I was only off work for 6 weeks so I didn't want her to get out of whack schedule wise and have it be harder for DC on top of having a 6 week old. ( I think I'm out of the norm here though and most keep the older kid home) And my parents live in town and were always a big help. If I was in need of a nap I would simply call them to come take Hanna or watch her so I could nap.

What about getting a bunch of new activity books, or smaller toys and bringing them out every couple days. I like the idea PP mentioned of locking yourself in a room and sleeping while the older one plays. Also, Hanna will actually sit and watch a movie so I would nap while she watched.

ETA: for side nursing, I laid in a way that if I rolled towards her it would hurt my arm.  That gave me the extra comfort while we slept.  There are lots of sights I believe for safe co sleeping.  

[versed]

I definitely agree with locking yourself in a kid-proof room and getting some Zzzz's with LO while she's sleeping. Toddler will play and be safe.

[zpanjwani]

I handled the newborn and my husband handled Shaan. This time, I will still handle the newborn and my husband is in charge of both Shaan and Asher. It also was kind of in my favor because I couldn't lift up anything over 10ish pounds because of my c section.