FFFC 6/12

[Deleted]

Didn't see one of these yet. Bring on your Friday confessions!

[kemdupuis]

DHs brother is getting married on August 1. I love my BIL and my SIL to be, but seriously, I am dreading this wedding. We are having to fly across the country to go, and the thought of schlepping our 3-5 week old child through airports has me in a tiz. Also, I know I'm not going to be totally healed, or looking like I want to, and probably not feeling up for an all night booze fest. I'm going to have to figure out how to pump/get my newborn used to a bottle so my parents can babysit, and I seriously just don't want to. How terrible is it that I am actually considering just not going?

[silv3rlining]

Jun 12, 2015 11:47:20 GMT -5 kemdupuis said:

DHs brother is getting married on August 1. I love my BIL and my SIL to be, but seriously, I am dreading this wedding. We are having to fly across the country to go, and the thought of schlepping our 3-5 week old child through airports has me in a tiz. Also, I know I'm not going to be totally healed, or looking like I want to, and probably not feeling up for an all night booze fest. I'm going to have to figure out how to pump/get my newborn used to a bottle so my parents can babysit, and I seriously just don't want to. How terrible is it that I am actually considering just not going?

honestly I wouldn't go...not with a flight across country

[kemdupuis]

Jun 12, 2015 11:50:17 GMT -5 silv3rlining said:

Jun 12, 2015 11:47:20 GMT -5 kemdupuis said:

DHs brother is getting married on August 1. I love my BIL and my SIL to be, but seriously, I am dreading this wedding. We are having to fly across the country to go, and the thought of schlepping our 3-5 week old child through airports has me in a tiz. Also, I know I'm not going to be totally healed, or looking like I want to, and probably not feeling up for an all night booze fest. I'm going to have to figure out how to pump/get my newborn used to a bottle so my parents can babysit, and I seriously just don't want to. How terrible is it that I am actually considering just not going?

honestly I wouldn't go...not with a flight across country

I feel like I have to atleast make the trip- the wedding is being held where both DH and I grew up, and it will really be the only chance for our families to meet him before Christmas. Plus, DH is in the wedding, so he has to be there. I just want to skip out on the actual day. Maybe I'll just go to the ceremony, and the come home

[billyhorrible]

We're still working on wiping with LBB, so last night after he was done pooping and called for help wiping I told DH the bending is really awkward for me with my stitches and soreness. It's not, I was just tired and didn't want to get off the couch.

[bendherova]

I'm debating asking my parents to come visit bc DH is on call this weekend and I feel poopy.

[missk0411]

Today is my last day of work. I'm teleworking today, mostly because I am out of warm weather maternity clothes and it is 90 here, and I just can't wear regular pants anymore. So yay for yoga pants and organizing files on the couch!

[missk0411]

Jun 12, 2015 11:54:00 GMT -5 kemdupuis said:

Jun 12, 2015 11:50:17 GMT -5 silv3rlining said:

honestly I wouldn't go...not with a flight across country

I feel like I have to atleast make the trip- the wedding is being held where both DH and I grew up, and it will really be the only chance for our families to meet him before Christmas. Plus, DH is in the wedding, so he has to be there. I just want to skip out on the actual day. Maybe I'll just go to the ceremony, and the come home

Ugh, I probably wouldn't go.  But if you feel like you should, I think the ceremony alone is ok.  I think you should have a handle on pumping by then, at least enough to get by for the night if you want to go to the reception as well. 

[mcp6286]

Jun 12, 2015 11:47:20 GMT -5 kemdupuis said:

DHs brother is getting married on August 1. I love my BIL and my SIL to be, but seriously, I am dreading this wedding. We are having to fly across the country to go, and the thought of schlepping our 3-5 week old child through airports has me in a tiz. Also, I know I'm not going to be totally healed, or looking like I want to, and probably not feeling up for an all night booze fest. I'm going to have to figure out how to pump/get my newborn used to a bottle so my parents can babysit, and I seriously just don't want to. How terrible is it that I am actually considering just not going?

I would definitely not go if I were you, so no judgement here! If you feel like you absolutely have to, I'd just do the ceremony and skip the reception. My brother is getting married on July 26 and I don't want to go to that, even though its only 2 hours away LOL. Partying before September, when I'm healing and sleep deprived, just doesn't sound fun.

My friend whose wedding I'm in on 9/12 just planned her bachelorette party for July 18, and the other bridesmaids were like, "That will give you 4 whole weeks to feel better after the baby! You'll be so glad for a night out!" Umm...hell no. I'm not running around Atlantic City at 2:00 in the morning at 4 weeks post-op with my sweet baby at home. Have fun, ladies. 

[sordidvolition]

MIl keeps asking when baby day is. I don't want to tell her my section date because I don't want her here immediately after he is born. I want time with just us so that ds1 can bond/try to acclimate. Also I'm not sure how I will respond to a c section but don't want her here after I have major surgery either.

[sugarkissed]

Jun 12, 2015 13:38:17 GMT -5 sordidvolition said:

MIl keeps asking when baby day is. I don't want to tell her my section date because I don't want her here immediately after he is born. I want time with just us so that dd1 can bond/try to acclimate. Also I'm not sure how I will respond to a c section but don't want her here after I have major surgery either.

THIS. My mom and MIL knew that I had an appointment this morning and they've both been messaging me all morning asking what the doctor said. I've booked a RCS for Monday but I want to enjoy my last weekend with DH and DD without them driving up to be here early.  I get that everyone is excited, but like you said, it's a major surgery and scary and stressful enough without everyone else counting down the days.  

[tatersalad]

Jun 12, 2015 11:47:20 GMT -5 kemdupuis said:

DHs brother is getting married on August 1. I love my BIL and my SIL to be, but seriously, I am dreading this wedding. We are having to fly across the country to go, and the thought of schlepping our 3-5 week old child through airports has me in a tiz. Also, I know I'm not going to be totally healed, or looking like I want to, and probably not feeling up for an all night booze fest. I'm going to have to figure out how to pump/get my newborn used to a bottle so my parents can babysit, and I seriously just don't want to. How terrible is it that I am actually considering just not going?

Since everyone else is telling you they wouldn't go, I'll just chime in and say I felt the same way about flying to one of my best friend's weddings when DS #1 was five weeks old. But I recovered really well after delivery, flying was a breeze with a newborn, and I ended up having a great time. I pumped before and after the ceremony and luckily my parents were also invited so mom came along to babysit during the ceremony. If you aren't feeling up to it when the time comes do not feel guilty about not going, but it might not be as bad as you think.

[belle0720]

Jun 12, 2015 11:47:20 GMT -5 kemdupuis said:

DHs brother is getting married on August 1. I love my BIL and my SIL to be, but seriously, I am dreading this wedding. We are having to fly across the country to go, and the thought of schlepping our 3-5 week old child through airports has me in a tiz. Also, I know I'm not going to be totally healed, or looking like I want to, and probably not feeling up for an all night booze fest. I'm going to have to figure out how to pump/get my newborn used to a bottle so my parents can babysit, and I seriously just don't want to. How terrible is it that I am actually considering just not going?

I don't think it's terrible at all. I probably wouldn't go and probably just send H without me.

ETA: Just saw your follow up post, if you are set on making the trip, I think attending just the ceremony is fine but I'd let them know that's your plan. I'd blame it on breast feeding and not wanting your newborn baby to be around so many people so early.

[Deleted]

I'm missing 2 weddings in the next month and have zero guilt over it. One of my best friends is getting married in Australia and DH step sister is getting married in Vancouver. I just used the pediatricians comments as an excuse since she said we shouldnt fly before the 8 week vaccinations

[ladysif]

kemdupuis my BIL is getting married weekend before yours and the kids and I are not going, DH is going alone. Pediatrician doesn't recommend it because of the immunity issue. Had I decided to go she would have required baby to have a weight check the day before leaving. But at the same time, I would have a toddler and baby by myself since DH is in the wedding, I would have no help like you have, we would be traveling through at least two major airports both ways to a notoriously not vaccine-friendly city, and if baby did get sick/hospitalized we know no one there but BIL/SIL and it would be hell. Plus wedding ceremony starts at DS1's bedtime so we wouldn't even be able to stay for dinner. So different circumstances. If baby would be with your folks and not even at the wedding, all the better; far fewer people to be exposed to. I didn't have those choices, the risk is too high in our case. But definitely talk to your pediatrician for any tips, and if people try to get too friendly with baby just use the pediatrician as an excuse.

[ladymouse]

I lost my temper last night because I couldn't find my glucose testing stuff after my mom cleaned the kitchen. Note the salient point here - my mom cleaned my kitchen. She watched my son for 4 hours so DH and I could go to a REALLY nice dinner and a movie. I still growled and flailed my hands because my glucose stuff was slightly out of place (this was after 5 hours of prodromal labor went from every 4 minutes for 50 minutes to NOTHING, and my post-meal blood glucose was 52, which is too low even for fasting. But that's still no excuse.)

Also, I feel like I've been complaining about my husband to her non-stop. Fortunately, she says that I talk about how wonderful he is far more often and more convincingly.

[kemdupuis]

Thanks for all of the feedback, guys. I really appreciate knowing that I am not so alone in my opinion about travel- makes me feel much more justified. tatersalad- I'm also glad to know that you had a good experience in a similar situation. I guess we'll just have to play it by ear, and I'll keep an open mind about it. @badwolf321- wishing you happy travels- I do not envy you, but certainly hope that it goes well. FX your LO decides to sleep the whole time and you can get some rest, too. You get a pass for all the caffeine and all the wine you want

[missjenniebean]

My family came and waited while I was in labor. Luckily, that was quick but then no visitors for two hrs after...i told them that but they didn't care. Ha, probably about a 5-6 hr wait. Not too bad but they could have stayed home.

[erbear]

I did tell my family our induction date but I have the ability to lock people out of the birthing center - my mom was all, "Oh, I'll be at the hospital by noon on Monday!" and I told her to have fun sitting in the lobby if she chose to do that. The thought of people in the waiting room makes me anxious and yeah, I want that uninterrupted time with my husband and child after birth. We've considered turning our phones off, too.

[wormgerm]

I still regret disregarding my sister's wishes and showing up at the waiting room last year. I was content to sit there silently and wait, I just needed to be close because the baby was expected really soon and I live so close to the hospital I couldn't contain myself. I knew they were doing skin to skin right after delivery so it would be a while. My plan was to just go sit and not tell anyone.

Of course as soon as the elevator doors opened I saw her in-laws were already camped out. They urged me to go ask the nurse if I could see her because they had been in already. Begrudgingly I went and asked and was of course denied. So I felt like a real dick. Then the in-laws urged me to tell my parents to come wait with them. The plan was for them to labor and deliver with no one hovering and now here we all were obsessively texting for updates. When he was finally born something like 8 hours later we went in and saw her/baby for literally about 30 seconds. She had just pushed for 4 hours and was laying there with her eyes closed and this brand new pink baby of her chest. I whispered a quick congratulations, stared at the new shrimp for a few seconds, and scuttled my rude ass home. I've apologized a bunch of times for disregarding their wishes and they say I'm forgiven but I still feel bad.

[wifedeangel]

The lady that threw me a shower last weekend is having another get together tonight. H wants to go and take the baby. Um, no. You can go, take your family,and even DD, but baby and I are staying home. I don't think I'd be good at handling it without being considered a mega-bitch for not allowing all the old ladies with too much perfume hold and kiss on my new baby. Not to mention the germy kids.

[sordidvolition]

Jun 13, 2015 8:23:31 GMT -5 erbear said:

I did tell my family our induction date but I have the ability to lock people out of the birthing center - my mom was all, "Oh, I'll be at the hospital by noon on Monday!" and I told her to have fun sitting in the lobby if she chose to do that. The thought of people in the waiting room makes me anxious and yeah, I want that uninterrupted time with my husband and child after birth. We've considered turning our phones off, too.

I am planning on telling the nurses no visitors except my BFF (who will be keeping DS1). I not so subtly hinted for DH to tell his mother, again, that we do not want visitors for at least two weeks but I don't think he's taken the hint. I guess I will have to be blunt.
 

[turtletyme]

Jun 12, 2015 13:38:17 GMT -5 sordidvolition said:

MIl keeps asking when baby day is. I don't want to tell her my section date because I don't want her here immediately after he is born. I want time with just us so that ds1 can bond/try to acclimate. Also I'm not sure how I will respond to a c section but don't want her here after I have major surgery either.

+1.
I am so stressed out about this. I don't want our parents camped out, because I figure by the time I get put back together and do skin to skin, it will be hours. The last thing I need is all of them sitting there getting hyped up. I am very nervous about surgery/recovery and am hoping to be left alone as much as possible, so I hope the nurses are willing to be dicks on my behalf.

[missk0411]

I would completely support not telling people when you are being induced/having a c-section/heading to the hospital if you don't think they will respect your requests that they not arrive before X time.

I mentioned in another post that we told out families the day before our C-section for DD, and we told them late in the afternoon, thinking that if we told them that they could see us at 2 the next day, they would wait til the AM to drive the 5 hour trip. Nope. My mom and ILs drove down within a few hours, arriving at like midnight, then I am pretty sure they beat us to the hospital the next day. They texted us from the waiting room while we were still in pre-op. Although I know they were excited, I still kind of resent that they couldn't respect our wishes--it was like their experience of becoming grandparents was more important than my experience of becoming a mother. I definitely felt more pressure to let them in sooner to see us.

Once people come in, the baby gets passed around a lot, the room is crowded, and I realized that I didn't get to hold her as much as I wanted, but I felt weird about saying "give me back my baby, Mom." And I wanted to do more skin to skin, but not with an audience. And of course they stayed from 1:30 or so until 7. We should have kicked them out.

This is completely a time to be selfish with your and your SO's wishes. They will get over it.

[erbear]

Ugh, budders, I'm sorry.

The phones in L&D are call-out only.