Intro - Hey everyone

[teraiin]

Hi everyone! My parents adopted me when I was just a couple of months old. MH and I had always had a plan to (hopefully) adopt and after much discussion we've decided to begin pursuing this option. I am 28 and MH is 27. We feel like we have most of our 'ducks in a row' in terms of being prepared. We have a house, steady jobs, etc.

We have been researching a lot and feel like we're starting to find our way. But I still have some questions. We were leaning toward domestic adoptions through an agency. I've found several agencies in our state, but I'm not really sure how one would 'pick' which one. I feel like that would an important choice to make. Does anyone have any recommendations as far this goes?

I also saw some websites that advocated an adoption attorney rather than an agency. But maybe I was mis-reading. I was under the assumption that you'd need a lawyer for all the legal stuff, but not that a lawyer could facilitate adoptions...

MH and I are mostly hoping for a newborn/infant adoption but we realize that is probably the most popular age and might have a longer wait time... 

Thanks! I'm looking forward to reading through more of the threads and learning even more.

[theatrepal]

We visited with four local agencies and one national agency before we made a choice. We learned a ton from the information sessions. In te end, we chose a local agency with more predictable cost and an office we can walk into. I like to say that you'll know you've found the right agency. It'll just feel right. Welcome to the board!! Good luck.

[teraiin]

Jun 14, 2015 15:45:07 GMT -5 theatrepal said:

We visited with four local agencies and one national agency before we made a choice. We learned a ton from the information sessions. In te end, we chose a local agency with more predictable cost and an office we can walk into. I like to say that you'll know you've found the right agency. It'll just feel right. Welcome to the board!! Good luck.

Thanks for the tip and info! It makes me feel better that you said the right one will just feel right. it's an important decision so I'm anxious about knowing as much as I can in order to for us to make the wisest choice.

[drl]

Hi and welcome!

We had a few options for agencies, and we went with the one that felt right as well as having good placement rates, birth parent counseling, etc. We can suggest questions to ask to get a feel for the agencies.

Yes, a lawyer can facilitate adoptions. They may require more legwork on your end as far as advertising and getting your names out there. But it can also be less expensive than agencies. I see agencies more as full service where they do it all.

If infant adoption is calling you, go for it. Our wait was quite short.

GL!

[pamela]

Before choosing an agency you also need to consider your willingness to take financial risks. Many agencies match you then you pay for that expectant mother's costs, so if she changes her mind or something happens, you are out that money. We were not willing to take that risk and didn't like the feeling of paying any particular mom, so we chose an agency where we pay into the pool that runs a clinic and provides services to all mothers who need it, some of whom decide to place. We also didn't want to have to advertise ourselves, so that ruled out a lot of places. And real expectant/birth mom counseling was important to me as well.

[nobb14]

Hey! Welcome! When we chose our agency for DIA, we interviewed a bunch of local and national agencies to figure out the best fit. Ultimately, it's up to your comfort level and what you want out of the process. It was my experience (this may not be universal and I am only speaking for MH and I) that the local, smaller agencies had longer wait times and were a bit slower in general with their material turn around, etc. A lot went into our decision making, but because we also didn't live close enough to a "local" agency for the benefit of walking in to meet with consultants without a crazy drive, along with a strong desire to minimize the red tape and waiting period, we went with a national agency. Everyone is different, though, and you will realize what is right for you guys when you find the right agency- unfortunately it just takes time and effort in feeling different ones out! Good luck and keep us posted.

[packerfan4life]

Welcome and good luck!

We chose to use an agency for our DIA. You can certainly use a lawyer, but it requires more work and advertising on your end. I didn't personally feel prepared to do that and like the experience and services agencies had available for expectant parents.

[ceejay]

Welcome to the board, teraiin! Best of luck to you and YH as you begin your adoption journey.

[pinkie]

Hello

We have 2 boys through DIA. We used the same agency for both. My personal opinion is unless I had an identified situation, I would choose a licensed adoption agency in almost every instance. I do not feel equipped to advertise or coordinate birth parent counseling and I believe in many non-agency cases you would have to handle this.

I would interview both local and national agencies. We had a not great experience with a local agency. They were fantastic but had very few placements. We sat for 6 months with zero activity. We were matched through an agency that works in 3 states (not including ours so this was a somewhat local agency that was not local to us).

When interviewing agencies, I would ask over the past 3 years, how many active families do you have and how many placements did you do per year. Ideally you want this number to be 1:1 so you hope to have a 1 yr or less wait.

I also would ask about: details on expectant/birth parent counseling, what money would be at risk if you had a failed match, when is money due.

We waited a total of 1.5 yrs for our first son (including the time with no activity from the local agency plus the time to join a new agency) and waited only 3 months for our second son.

Ok I'll stop writing now . Welcome and good luck!

[teraiin]

Thank you so much for the warm welcome and all the advice! You've all really given me some food for thought.

pamela, that is a very good point. I had come across some agencies which did talk about the expectant mother's care and that is definitely something MH and I need to consider when we make our decisions.

pinkie those are some excellent questions, I'll have to remember to ask those. Don't worry about writing too much, I found your experiences very interesting. I hadn't really thought much about difference in wait times between agencies but that is definitely something to consider.

Also, hey ceejay! Nice to see a familiar face.

I can see I have plenty of additional research ahead of me, but you guys have given me some more things to help me focus my search!

[persianmaman]

Hello and welcome. We're going the international route, so I do not have much useful information for you, but these ladies here are great. ^^ Best wishes as you start researching.

[jenn]

Hello and Welcome!

We adopted our son through an agency doing DIA (domestic infant adoption). Our agency has 10 offices spread across 6 states. Our wait was about 14 months from application to placement and our son was 5 days old when we was placed with us. The big thing when we were choosing our agency was being able to have a local office we could go meet the social worker face to face as often as we needed. And ditto pp, we just felt right when we talked to this agency. GL!

[jwinct]

Welcome to the board!

We are becoming licensed to foster-to-adopt via DCF, so I have no words of wisdom for you; only wishes of good luck!

[lizblue]

Hi and welcome! Previous posters have offered lots of great thoughts. I would also ask about when fees are due and if/when you have to renew them. I am also with a regional agency with offices located throughout six states. I like that their fee schedule is very transparent. I will only have to renew fees like my homestudy if waiting for over one year (because you have to have a current one within one year) but there are no other times I will be asked to "re-up" for things like marketing.

I tried a small, local agency (because of their lower cost) but also felt like they didn't have enough placements for it to make sense for us. I am much more comfortable with our bigger agency now. I am slightly wary of "too big" of an agency because it's unlikely they establish very close and regular relationships with the birth families. I like that our agency deals with both birth parents and adoptive parents (different SWs of course) because they have a much better sense of how the birth mom is doing, what her needs are and if there is a chance for disruption that is seen ahead of time.

Best of luck with your journey!

[teraiin]

Thank you again everyone. I really appreciate all the tips and info! Thank you for your help and making me feel so welcome!

But yikes I've totally overwhelmed myself with research. We have contacted a few agencies, but I keep finding others that seem like good options too. I found a website which offers ratings and that's where I found a few more to investigate.

I have a spreadsheet I made with all the information I'm gathering based on their websites so I can try to keep track of all the pertinent info.

Mostly MH and I are just worried we'll choose the 'wrong' agency. I just count myself fortunate that you guys have all given me some great things to consider (fees, # of placements, # of families, etc.)

[alaskadee]

Welcome! We are DIA as well. I reached out to a few local agencies and then to a national agency. I was totally sold with the national agency. The agency we are using does a lot of the leg work for you...it's more costly, but for us it was worth it. But really not that much more than the other places a looked. They market you, find the lawyers for you, and provide to the expectant mother...those were all important to us. We only waited 5 1/2 weeks from going 'live' to being matched. As pp said, it really is up to your own personal preference. You'll know when you find the right one