Hi! I am not sure if I am allowed to post here or not, but I think this place could be very good for me right now.
I am the mother of a very wonderful 3 month old that I love dearly, but is causing me to have to face old demons of mental health. She doesn't sleep well at night and it is leading to severe stress and sleep deprivation over the long term, which historically has been devastating to my mental health. I am starting to worry about myself, because I had severe sleep apnea in my early 20s, which after years of being undiagnosed, turned into full blown depression and some dangerous situations. I have very few outlets now for stress. My baby also has food allergies which makes me have to eliminate pretty much any food worth eating, along with caffiene.
I am reluctant to share more without knowing that it is OK for me to post here, and because it is public, but I am starting to crumble under all the pressure and just wanted to reach out.
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. Of course you are welcome to post here. We do a weekly goal thread and a check in. Feel free to jump in on them. I hope we can provide you with some support.
Thabks everyone, I really appreciate the welcome! I didn't know if it was appropriate to post here because my problems haven'been ongoing, and are just now re-emerging due to sleep dep. The last time this happened, I hallucinated, went into a deep depression, damaged myself,and almost lost my life. I am so scared right now as I can feel myself slipping back into old patterns. I can't lose this race, my daughter needs me.
juliayadda. I dearly hope this doesn't last until my daughter is three! Yikes I'm sorry you went through that.
I can relate! Sleep deprivation makes it so hard for me to deal with things emotionally. I'm so glad you found this board as it has provided support for many women.
Check out the PPD/PPA board and also talk to your OB if you haven't already. So many women suffer with these issues. Also, try to take time to yourself. I know it's so very hard to do with a little one, but you need it in order to take care of yourself. Super big creepy internet ((hugs))
Thabks everyone, I really appreciate the welcome! I didn't know if it was appropriate to post here because my problems haven'been ongoing, and are just now re-emerging due to sleep dep. The last time this happened, I hallucinated, went into a deep depression, damaged myself,and almost lost my life. I am so scared right now as I can feel myself slipping back into old patterns. I can't lose this race, my daughter needs me.
juliayadda. I dearly hope this doesn't last until my daughter is three! Yikes I'm sorry you went through that.
Sorry haha I meant when he was 3 months old. Sleep dep, colic, etc. It did get better! He eventually slept more (5 hours can be such a win in that first year) and I did learn some ways that I could lower my stress and increase my happiness. 2 - 3 months was definitely the hardest time for my mental faculties
You are most welcome to post here and share as much or as little as you like. I am very sorry you are slipping into old patterns and I hope we can give you as much support as we can during this stressful time. Have you told your OB that you have had issues with your mental health in the past and feel they are resurfacing? Your OB may be able to consult with a psych that his/her patients work with, and you can possibly get an evaluation? In the very least, your OB can provide you with other resources like support groups in your area or that are affiliated with your birth hospital. I can assure you are not alone in your struggle! Sending you many hugs.
pele, of course you are welcome to post here. I'm so sorry you are struggling. Sleep deprivation triggers my depression too. I went to a very dark place when my son was a baby and I was so, so sleep deprived, and now if we have an off night I feel those old feelings start to bubble up again - it's crazy how fast they resurface! Definitely talk to your OB, GP, or even your LOs pedi. You do not need to feel this way and you can get help. We will give you as much support as we can. Big hugs, I'm glad you reached out to us.
pele, of course you are welcome to post here. I'm so sorry you are struggling. Sleep deprivation triggers my depression too. I went to a very dark place when my son was a baby and I was so, so sleep deprived, and now if we have an off night I feel those old feelings start to bubble up again - it's crazy how fast they resurface! Definitely talk to your OB, GP, or even your LOs pedi. You do not need to feel this way and you can get help. We will give you as much support as we can. Big hugs, I'm glad you reached out to us.
I did talk to my OB at my six week appointment, and she was pretty convinced I didn't have PPD, just that I was tired and stressed by a high needs baby. I agreed with her at the time, but the longer I go on this path, the less it feels like this is going to go away soon.
I feel so anxious and defeated about being a mom. I stared at the ceiling all night last night waiting for my girl to wake up, because sleeping felt like a pointless waste of time. I think I am getting strangely manic about taking care of her. I dunno, I am probably not making much sense.
Just saying hi and that you're not alone. I've been relatively stable as well for a few years, and my depression and anxiety have started to creep back in. The last time I fought with this I almost died too. I'm glad you're reaching out though, I know it takes a lot to (for me at least).
pele, of course you are welcome to post here. I'm so sorry you are struggling. Sleep deprivation triggers my depression too. I went to a very dark place when my son was a baby and I was so, so sleep deprived, and now if we have an off night I feel those old feelings start to bubble up again - it's crazy how fast they resurface! Definitely talk to your OB, GP, or even your LOs pedi. You do not need to feel this way and you can get help. We will give you as much support as we can. Big hugs, I'm glad you reached out to us.
I did talk to my OB at my six week appointment, and she was pretty convinced I didn't have PPD, just that I was tired and stressed by a high needs baby. I agreed with her at the time, but the longer I go on this path, the less it feels like this is going to go away soon.
I feel so anxious and defeated about being a mom. I stared at the ceiling all night last night waiting for my girl to wake up, because sleeping felt like a pointless waste of time. I think I am getting strangely manic about taking care of her. I dunno, I am probably not making much sense.
My OB didn't think I had PPD either, but I asked for a mental health referral anyway. My therapist could tell right away that I was depressed. I should have got help much sooner than I did. You are making sense, at least to me. I was, and still am, an anxious mom. I struggle to sleep when I'm worrying about him or think he is going to wake up soon. It's always kind of a relief when he finally does because then I can tend to him and make sure he's ok. Not sure if that's the same as your experience but I don't think you need to worry about not making sense here.
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