Foster care (FTA) baby/child gift registry?

[ceejay]

MH and I are getting licensed to be foster parents and ultimately hope to adopt from foster care (ages 0-5). We don't have any biological children so we don't have any baby or little kid things, besides a few odds and ends that we've picked up at garage sales or from family/friends. We're expecting to be licensed in the next month or two, and our caseworker thinks we'll get our first placement(s) shortly after that.

We have been talking about whether or not we should put together a baby/child registry, but aren't really sure how to proceed. I don't know if anyone is going to want to throw us a baby shower, and I'm obviously not going to ask people to throw us one. Also, our age range is rather large (0-5), and we would need very different things for a baby than we would need for a 5-year-old, so it's hard to know what to buy/register for. And we're okay with initially fostering (so we might not adopt directly), so I don't know if that would make a difference for people getting us gifts. 

Overall, this just feels like a touchy subject for me as a future adoptive parent. I don't want to sound greedy and I'm not going to demand that people get us presents, but I know that if I was having a biological child, this wouldn't be an issue and our church friends and family would already have planned and organized a shower. I'm thinking it wouldn't hurt to put together a registry, in case people ask us about what we need, but I feel like we're going to end up buying most things ourselves.



What did you do when you were preparing to foster/adopt? Did you have a baby registry? Did friends/family throw you a shower? 


On a related note, what are some baby/kid things that we need to have on hand before our first placement, and what are things we can buy during that first week of having the child/children with us?

[drl]

Plenty of people have had someone throw them a shower. It's possible your friends/family will.

IMO you can go one of 2 ways: start an Amazon wish list and share with people who ask, or start a formal registry so you can get the completer discount.

Most things are things you can get at/after placement. For any age a place to sleep (PnP, crib, and/or toddler bed), clothing, and a car seat are a good idea. For babies it might not hurt to have some bottles and formula.

We did DIA but still did a mad dash to WalMart the night DD came home

[theatrepal]

We are DIA, but I have a hidden list of stuff at Amazon just in case things happen quickly. Gotta love prime.

I'd put together a list of things. I think people will ask. I might also think of a list of things you can do as a family like go to the zoo or the children's museum and see if you can put a membership for those on the list.

[lbey]

I had a friend who just adopted and she had a friend of her do a mela thing for her. Every friend signed up for a day to bring her family a meal and we could bring a present if we wanted (I did) she had a wish list for when people asked what she needed, but it was not shown on the meal invitation, she gave only to those who asked. I thought the idea was great because she got great meals and was one less worry for her and more time for family

[irismorning]

I agree with PP and start an Amazon wish list. You will probably have some people ask. Mine was a whirlwind and while I did have a quick shower; I did not have time to think about what I really wanted and I do regret that. Make the list, if nothing else you will have a fast and easy place to shop when you do need things.

[jwinct]

We are also getting licensed to FTA (ages 0-4) and I have a private Amazon wish list going that I can easily edit and switch to public if need be. I think it's hard to actually register for anything when you have no idea how old the child will be. But, it's easy to prepare, via the wish list, for that age range.

[chicago]

I too have an Amazon wish list or registry . I think it's private right now but will make it public after we match and the baby comes home. I find myself adding here and there as I hear about things. I have also had some people give us some hand me downs and remove if they were items that I did have on the list. Also Amazon ships super quick so if it happens at short notice we should be fine.

People have mentioned wanting to give a shower and gifts. However we're personally not comfortable doing that before we bring the baby home.

[gnomesweetgnome]

Another thought regarding Amazon wish lists: make one for each phase (ie newborn-1, 1-3, 3-5. Since they do have different needs for toys, feeding, bathing, etc. then you can share whichever one is appropriate at placement with those who ask.

[shemarie82]

I also have an Amazon registry. I don't think that anyone will throw us a shower until the time of a placement. I struggle to know exactly what to put on there, as we are being licensed 0-4. I know once there is a kid in the home, our peeps will get us anything that we wouldn't know we needed.

[ceejay]

Thank you for all of your suggestions and comments! I've started putting together a (private) baby registry on Amazon. I love the idea of having separate registries/wish lists for each potential age group (thanks gnomesweetgnome!) so I'll probably put together some wish lists for other age groups too.

[chele]

We never had a list or registry. I just bought a few things cheaply on Craigslist. No one asked to buy us anything beforehand, but when we got our placements, people bought clothes specifically for the girls (they were 4 and 8.) Of course, we have very small families between us.

[hootiemommytobe]

We are DIA, and I had a shower last year. We're still waiting to be matched, but we've had several pairings that just didn't work out for one reason or another. You never know when you're going to get that call, so we thought it would be best to be prepared. I love walking into the nursery and letting happy thoughts take over. I wouldn't worry about having a registry or a shower. If you need things for your child, then you should create a registry. I'm sure some family or friends would love to give you a shower as well.