DH really had no experience with babies and was pretty uncomfortable around then. He tried though and did a surprisingly good job with the diapers and everything. I never had a single issue leaving them alone which was wonderful. He was awesome about not blowing up my phone with dumb questions. He just figured it out. In the early days, he would take the first shift and I still remember the first wondrous 4 hour stretch of sleep I got. He did what he could to comfort the baby while I slept until my boobs hurt so bad it woke me up for feeding. I used to get annoyed with him because he didn't do it the same way I did. He was content to just watch tv or play games while baby hung out next to him. It used to upset me because I thought he needed to be more hands on and helping baby learn, ect. No, he didn't. He was fine, DS was fine. It was their way of bonding. And surprise perk, no one could consol our gassy baby like DH.
I think DH will be a superstar, he's really excited and I know he wants to be an involved parent. His biggest issue is going to be getting me to stop being a control freak .
Post by laylamamma2013 on Jan 23, 2015 12:46:08 GMT -5
I don't think any amount of baby sitting prepares you to be a parent. The moment the dr set DD in DH arms he became the best dad in history. I think you just figure it out and so do they.
I'm excited for her to come. Im at ftm but dhs son is 10. So its been a while, but my sil has had two babies and my cousins had one since I met dh and he's been so great with them.
He's got 3 nephews that are all around a couple years older than Owen and bes helped raised them all. He's known simply as "uncle" on his side of the family and kids adore him.
I can't wait to see him with his daughter and fall in love with him all over again.
Post by tashala107 on Jan 23, 2015 13:09:53 GMT -5
FTM- I think DH will be a bit nervous and tentative around the baby at first, but will get the hang of it quickly. We have a 6 week old niece, so he's been getting some practice with her.
I'm so excited to see him with our kids as they get older. He's a giant kid himself and when he's around them, he's so fun and creative- my heart melts!
Post by laurawaller on Jan 23, 2015 13:10:13 GMT -5
My SO has no experience with babies so I think he's going to freak the hell out. He's already saying things like "but it's going to be all fragile what if I hold it wrong" He has never changed a nappy or fed a baby so shall be interesting. But I know he's going to be an amazing dad
With our first, DH was nervous but got over it. He wanted me to rest, so he learned how to do the diaper thing from the beginning. Two kids later, I can assure he's changed more diapers than I have, and I'm a SAHM. He always did the swaddling and bath time (still does baths when he's home) and would always get up at night if they didn't nurse to sleep to rock them. Now, my boys are hardcore daddy's boys. Much prefer him to me!
I've never been afraid to leave him alone, and I don't think that's indicative of a good parenting relationship if you are. We're firm believers in sharing parenting, and DH makes a big deal that he's not babysitting when he watches them.
We were both new to babies when we had DD, so we learned together. SO was always very involved, and I was never worried about leaving him alone with DD. When she was tiny and SO changed her diapers or walked her around when she was fussy so many people commented that he was such a great dad. It actually got really annoying, because aren't those things just basic aspects of parenting? He is a great dad, but it has nothing to do with changing diapers.
FTM- I'm very worried about my DH, but I know he's going to do his best. (I can't wait to see him cradle the baby in his massive hands, it will be so cute!) He is an only child, and only has three younger cousins whom he never had any real experience with when they were babies. Hell, I have a lot more experience than him but I'm nervous too lol. What I'm most worried about is when it comes to changing diapers, or cleaning up any other bodily fluids. My DH is pretty squeamish around that stuff. We've had a dog for the last five years, and if she gets sick or has an accident he has had a very hard time cleaning it up... so I usually do it. I also think during labor and delivery he's going to be freaking out way more than I am.
I'm also a little worried about getting up during the night several times. Since he has a very labor intensive job, he needs to get as much sleep as possible during the night... so he's already told me if he needs sleep, he's not getting up. I told him he has no idea what's about to come then.
DH had 6 nieces and nephews by the time we had DD#1. He has always been a “kid person”, really great around kids/babies, probably because he’s a big kid at heart.
The only thing he was inexperienced with was diapers. I think he had changed 1 diaper ever before DD#1. He did it with help from his aunt and the diaper ended up backwards, lol.
But DH did DD#1’s first ever diaper change. The nurse knew she needed a change, so she told us and said “Your wife carried that baby for 9 months and just went through labor, let her rest and you change the first diaper.” DH normally doesn’t like people telling him what to do but he jumped up and did it. It was REALLY messy (meconium poop is like black tar, for those that haven’t experienced that yet), so I think he used a whole container of wipes, but he did it.
With everything else he was right along side me as we learned together how to be parents. DD#1 needed to be fed from a syringe while taught her how to BF, DH took care of feeding her, while I pumped for the first few weeks. He changed diapers, cleaned up spit up, whatever needed to be done, he either did it or helped. We are really lucky because he works from home with our girls, so when I was on maternity leave, we were both home.
Even though I totally trusted him, I still hesitated the first time I left her alone with him. Silly because he’s her parent just as much as I am. He’s great with babies/kids but still I had a hard time leaving this little person that I had grown in me. I had had her near me (or growing inside me) for like 11 months, it was hard to just go to the store. But it was great for them to bond and it was great for me to get out.
BFP#5 11/15/14, Team Caved, couldn't wait... its a girl EDD 7/22/15
BFP#4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan 2014
BFP#3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d
BFP#2 9/23/10, baby girl born med-free June 2011
BFP#1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d, D&C 6/29/10
Post by anfranklin2 on Jan 23, 2015 14:48:11 GMT -5
FTM, but H has a son. Been around him since ~9 months old. I also worked at a daycare in the infant room. I told H I was happy that he had more baby experience than me.
However, this will be the first time we both have an infant full time. We're both just as scared as the other.
My husband was amazing. He had nieces and nephews though that he adored. He wasn't the greatest with changing diapers, he didn't have to that often with his nieces and nephews. My husband was so hands in and willing to learn though. With my son who was his 2nd he just took to it like an old pro.
Post by natalie115 on Jan 23, 2015 16:34:33 GMT -5
DH actually took to having a newborn really seamlessly. He had never really had much experience with babies and didn't like to hold them. He loved holding DS though and helped with everything. He changed diapers, burped him, rocked him, and got up with him at night. I would nurse him in the MOTN and DH would do the diaper change and rock him back to sleep.
Now that DS is older those two are always being silly together. He's definitely the fun parent LOL
Post by lonegalathome on Jan 23, 2015 16:34:57 GMT -5
We took the baby care basics class and that was all DH had in terms of experience. I had a rough c- section recovery and problems breastfeeding. DH was a rockstar! I was amazed and it's beautiful falling in love more and more as you watch him become a daddy.
Be sure to let him do things his way when it doesn't really matter (clothes don't match, not the way you'd have done a bath, his swaddle isn't quite right but babe still asleep)? Don't say anything negative. Dads need praise and reinforcement that they are doing a good job. Some of my friends were nit picky and as a result the hubs just stopped helping.
FTM- DH doesn't know what to do. We've actually had arguments about it lately because he doesn't seem interested in the baby. He says he's excited for him or her to be 6+ mos so they are more expressive. I think he'll be scared of the baby as a newborn.
He's great with the dog, I just keep telling myself he'll be like that once the baby comes!
This exactly! My DH is the same way. A couple days before Christmas we were walking through a store and I said "it's crazy to think that this time next year we're going to have a 5 month old" and he said "I don't think that's crazy, I'm looking forward to that (::I got excited hearing that because by then the baby will be more fun, newborn babies scare me (::that's where I got sad:
DH had never been around babies before DD was born and he did awesome. I know he was nervous in the hospital, but he changed every diaper there, helped the nurse bath her, and brought her to me to try to nurse. DD had trouble latching and wouldn't bottle feed for the first 2 weeks and DH worked out ways to easily syringe feed her so I could pump while she fed. We both learned along the way and I had to learn to let him do things his own way (sometimes they were even better than how I did things
My DH was pretty nervous for our first. He hadn't really held a newborn and had only changed one diaper in his whole life. It helped him to have a close friend go through it first. He also saw them grab DD by the ankles and run across the room with her after my c section (the nicu docs had to do an assessment since I'm high risk). He said that once he saw that he realized how durable babies are.
He fell into the daddy role great once I went back to work (8 weeks PP). Before that, we would argue and bicker about things for no reason. After that, he really got a good routine with her and felt more comfortable (and useful since he could feed her pumped milk).
Since I had a c-s, he also had to do a lot of diapers and swaddling that first night. It was good practice for him!!
Fm my fiancée has never even held a newborn. He is great with my nephew but he was 10 months old when we got together. He is really nervous. I am actually trying to find someone with a newborn for him to "practice" with.
I'll be honest. I was scared to death when it came to DH and the baby. He's never had any little brothers or sisters, hes never had any nieces or nephews. No cousins that were a baby when he was.. I was worried that he wouldn't have a half a clue what to do. The hospital taught him everything he needed to know about changing diapers while I was recovering (baby's first diaper blowout HA!). He learned quick and was perfect with the baby. I will say, he was also very quick to use the resources at the hospital when it came to swaddling and he listened intently and took any suggestions they had to heart and tried to use them.
He was actually more active in preparation for the first one. He wanted the full effect on everything baby prep (hell, he went to my shower!). This time through we are constantly arguing that we still haven't even half way cleaned out the nursery. We still have to redo it completely (floor to ceiling makeover) and that is going to take time. TIme we are running out of (sigh)!!
Post by wineandcake on Jan 24, 2015 10:18:11 GMT -5
DH was amazing. He's always been great with kids, but wasn't into babies. When we got home he did everything because I was so sore and could hardly stand because the blood loss made me weak/dizzy. He changed all diapers, got him dressed, did baths/washing him, and would cuddle/rock him during the night when I needed to sleep. He was such a natural.
Even now at 2yrs old, he is so great with him. They are best buds and kiddo is always asking for dada. He's been a daddy's boy from the start and probably always will be. DH is still better at everything with him than I am, he makes me look like the incompetent parent lol.
I definitely think my DH is going to be freaked out with a little baby! He has never held a newborn before, let alone changed a diaper or anything. I think he'll handle it well after adjusting but we're definitely going to have a break in period where he's pretty nervous handling baby.
ETA: we're going to take a newborn basics class. I am comfortable around babies but I want him to learn the ins and outs.
I thought the same thing. Don't underestimate DH, mine stepped up out of nowhere and was handling the baby forcing me to nap, changing diapers so I didn't have to get up, and was extremely helpful during his time home. He completely surprised me by upping his game when I needed him most, and I had no idea how much I needed it until he was already doing it.
Post by cookiesandwine on Jan 24, 2015 11:30:18 GMT -5
H had zero baby experience before DD was born. We was nervous when the nurse handed DD to him but he was a natural. I lost a lot of blood during delivery and couldn't get up without passing out so H did everything for both of us the first three days. He was amazing with a newborn. He still is awesome, he loves to play and roughhouse but sometimes doesn't quite grasp what's appropriate for a 2yo. Like, you can't just tell her no but rather take her out of the situation, etc.
Post by CoachTsWife on Jan 24, 2015 12:33:10 GMT -5
DH is a natural. He's the oldest of a whole bunch of cousins and everyone keeps telling me how great he was, even with the babies. He's really just a big teddy bear. He's wonderful with our 6 month old niece. Changing diapers will be a challenge, but there's no way he's getting out of it.
First time parents here. I'm not to worried about MH as he is a natural caretaker, maybe even more so than I am. He's always the first to notice if either of the dogs are sick or injured. He will definitely be the more overprotective and worrisome between the two of us. I'm really looking forward to seeing him become a father, and it makes my heart swell just imaging him hold our baby for the first time.
Post by emwithpeanuts on Jan 24, 2015 12:43:41 GMT -5
My hubs is one of 10 so he definitely had SOME experience. With our first, he was actually pretty prepared. He has never been a fan of diaper changes, but he will do pee ones if I'm busy, and of course will do any if im gone. With every new kid he gets more comfortable. I've never been one to ask him to help me with taking care of them though. Which I'm sure doesn't bother him, lol. I more pushy on them playing and spending time together, because when he's not working, that's what I want them to be doing.
For the first few days we were both lost. Neither of us had much experience with newborns, but he picked it up quickly. Since then he has been amazing with little babies and with the kids as they grow older. He has no problems watching a little baby by himself and has probably changed just as many diapers as me over the last few years.
He's so excited about another little one. He's hoping this one is a little more cuddly than our last two. He absolutely loves rocking a sleeping baby.
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