So as you may have seen in chat stew potty training didn't go very well for us this weekend. This morning Dagny said she wanted to wear her underwear but cried when I told her that meant she had to pee and poop on the potty. So she's back in diapers. She'll sit on the potty no problem but seems to be holding it in even when she sits on it.
She went pee on the potty a few times Thurs/Fri/Sat morning then just decided she was done with it & held it for 7 hours Saturday. I'm worried that if I force the issue she'll give herself a bladder infection from holding it.
Any good tips? We were bribing her with M&MS & the promise of Calico Critters after she learned but it doesn't seem to make a difference. It doesn't seem to be a fear.
I'm just worried her stubbornness will result in her not being trained in time for preschool.
We're only on day 8 of PTing but what I've learned so far is that Robin is very particular about what kind of potty he'll use. He's okay with our little potty and the ladder/seat combo for the big potty, but he refuses to use the jake seat I got him and he also refuses to use any public toilet.
Maybe you could take her to the store to pick out her own potty?
You could try what we did with Ingrid - because we were so busy with putting the house on the market and moving and fixing up the new house for the last 6 months, we didn't go hard core cold turkey with potty training because we were never home long enough to make it work. She used the potty and wore panties while she was at daycare (and would occasionally have accidents) and then at home she was in pull ups. We would have her sit on the potty before and after bed and naps every day and throughout the day we would have her go sit on the potty - sometimes she would pee and sometimes not. It took longer to get her totally trained (not sleep-trained though, she still wears pull-ups at night and naptime) but it may help ease Dagny into it. How long do you have until she starts pre-school? She may need a more staggered approach to help ease her into it and get comfortable sitting on the potty.
You could try what we did with Ingrid - because we were so busy with putting the house on the market and moving and fixing up the new house for the last 6 months, we didn't go hard core cold turkey with potty training because we were never home long enough to make it work. She used the potty and wore panties while she was at daycare (and would occasionally have accidents) and then at home she was in pull ups. We would have her sit on the potty before and after bed and naps every day and throughout the day we would have her go sit on the potty - sometimes she would pee and sometimes not. It took longer to get her totally trained (not sleep-trained though, she still wears pull-ups at night and naptime) but it may help ease Dagny into it. How long do you have until she starts pre-school? She may need a more staggered approach to help ease her into it and get comfortable sitting on the potty.
I think this is what I'm going to have to do. Preschool starts the last week of Aug so I do have some time.
Post by somethingcleverer on Jun 22, 2015 9:06:41 GMT -5
We just went to underwear and let her learn she has to pee on the potty if she doesn't want her underwear to get wet. I think that wet underwear feeling really bothers most kids. Shane could care less if he sat in a wet diaper all day. So I talked to a mom friend who has 4 older kids and she said she had to go to underwear with her kids because they didn't like to have accidents in their undies. Shane was extremely difficult to potty train and after trying all summer he was barely trained for preschool but he knew he was supposed to hold it or use the potty and he never had an accident. We sent him to the first day praying he came back dry!
We just went to underwear and let her learn she has to pee on the potty if she doesn't want her underwear to get wet. I think that wet underwear feeling really bothers most kids. Shane could care less if he sat in a wet diaper all day. So I talked to a mom friend who has 4 older kids and she said she had to go to underwear with her kids because they didn't like to have accidents in their undies. Shane was extremely difficult to potty train and after trying all summer he was barely trained for preschool but he knew he was supposed to hold it or use the potty and he never had an accident. We sent him to the first day praying he came back dry!
Agreed. M hated it when he would pee in his undies. I think that really helped to get him to get to the toilet fast. We would say "hurry, you don't want to pee in your underwear!" and he would get to the toilet faster. I know I was afraid to let him have accidents, but a few were necessary in order for him to realize what the consequences were if he did have one and that he didn't like it.
Hanna hated being in wet undies as well so that was a motivator, but also she just has always been motivated by food. How many M&Ms are you giving her, could you up the anty on the food? When we first started she would get a larger sized treat. More often than not she chose a fruit snack and we let her have the whole bag. Towards the end we limited it to only 1 or 2 and now we don't even need any.
Otherwise, I'm in the camp that you can't push it too much. It has to somewhat be something they are willing to try or want to do otherwise I don't think you will get anywhere. You can get them to go on the potty all you want, but if they are not recognizing or acknowledging when they have to go on their own then you will continue to have accidents. And who has time to check every 2 hours forever.
Maybe it couldn't hurt to sit down and have a talk with her and ask her what she would like as a treat or motivator. I know a lot of our j12 kiddos are great with these types of discussions so maybe it would work. Oh and we also let her go pick out her underwear, but I'm guessing you already did that.
Post by cookiesandwine on Jun 23, 2015 16:28:51 GMT -5
Honestly we took a break from PT after 6 WEEKS of it not sinking in. Wet or poopy undies didn't bother her. Going back to diapers didn't bother her. She would pee maybe 50% of the time when we were setting a timer to take her regularly. But she just flat out refused to go on her own or tell us that she had to go. We used m&m's, stickers, bribery, making her clean up her own messes, taking toys away, and nothing stuck! I know she can tell, like it's not a medical issue of not being able to hold it or not knowing when she feels the urge to go. A couple nights ago I was putting on her diaper before bed so she was laying down while I put A&D on her tush, she said, "I have to go pee," and then started peeing before I could finish telling her that we'd go use the potty. She has been occasionally better about peeing in the potty without begging/screaming/tears. Like if I notice her kinda dancing or she wakes up relatively dry, I'll offer and she'll almost always go. So we're kind of stepping back for a while. Sorry, that's not especially helpful to you! We're in the same boat with needing to be trained for PreK, but I'm fairly certain that they can't keep a kid out of school for accidents. It's only a couple hours so worst case scenario, we'll have her go potty before leaving and send her in a pullup.
Post by britbratjf on Jun 23, 2015 20:12:53 GMT -5
Ok I need some feedback on a possibly new tactic. Dagny kept asking for a Snow White barbie today and I told her that if she started peeing/pooping on the potty she could have one and of course the response was no no I don't want to go potty. So I'm wondering if the concept of getting the doll in the future is too hard? Maybe we get the doll but keep it up on a shelf and have a sticker chart for her to work toward getting it (i.e. using the potty 15 times or something gets her the doll). Do you think this could possibly be a good idea or just totally backfire?
I don't think the Barbie tactic would work in our house. He would lose it every time he saw it knowing he couldn't have it and not understanding what to do to get it. Maybe Dagny would understand, depends on her personality. We are going with the slow approach. Honestly I don't think he is ready for full pt yet. He will go when he wants but only before bath time. He still doesn't tell me when he needs to go or when he has gone. I don't want to make it a bad experience for him because I think that would backfire. So we are behind but taking it slowly. We will see how it goes. Good luck! We don't have the preK deadline though so the pressure isn't onus right now.
britbratjf, That is how we trained V. My Mom had a wrapped present on the toilet and when she was without accidents for a set period of time she got the gift. You could easily wrap it, even let her help maybe, and put it on the back of the toilet or a shelf. V was about 3-3.5 when we finally got to open it so she's not that far off.
Post by xanthepants on Jun 24, 2015 11:01:38 GMT -5
britbratjf, Cosette does pretty good with delayed rewards for good behavior. It's worth a try in my book. Honestly, expect accidents for along time. It's not going to be overnight success in most cases unfortunately. It sucks that you have the added pressure of a deadline. But you can do this, I'd just always try and keep all efforts positive.
Maybe you could do a build up of small gifts to the barbie? That way she gets some rewards along the way. You could get barbie accessories to go with the doll.
britbratjf, Cosette does pretty good with delayed rewards for good behavior. It's worth a try in my book. Honestly, expect accidents for along time. It's not going to be overnight success in most cases unfortunately. It sucks that you have the added pressure of a deadline. But you can do this, I'd just always try and keep all efforts positive.
Thanks - I've never had to do any kind of reward system with her so it's new territory! I think I'll give it a try. Do you/did you use a sticker chart? Don't worry - I know there'll be accidents. But she would go on the potty for a day and a half so now I feel like she's justbeing stubborn. I need to incentivize her to start going on the potty again. M&Ms apparently weren't good enough!
Maybe you could do a build up of small gifts to the barbie? That way she gets some rewards along the way. You could get barbie accessories to go with the doll.
This is what we're doing, except the small gifts don't really lead up to anything bigger. We're doing a daily sticker chart--one sticker for every successful potty trip (2 stickers if he pees and poops in one go). Then right before bed time we take them all off his shirt and let him put them on the chart. We count them together, and then he gets to pick one "potty present" out of a box. We're doing hot wheels cars because he loves them and on Amazon they're like $1/car. We keep the box where he can see it but it's out of reach to help remind him of the goal.
I also found pretty quick that the more I asked/encouraged him to go on the potty, the more resistant he got. But if I just leave the little potty in the same room with him, he's actually really good about sitting on it. Or if he asks for something, like a snack or juice, I'll say, "Go do a pee and then I'll get it," and he's been pretty receptive to that. We've starting calling it "a so fast pee!" to make it feel more fun, which also seems to have helped.
Post by xanthepants on Jun 24, 2015 14:02:33 GMT -5
Big guns =Barbie. haha! Yup we do 10 magnetic stickers = a big reward so she has to build up to a prize. You could do that or beads in a jar or similar. I didn't deal with the stubborn no go behavior So I'm trying to think of other incentives for you. Can you "race her to the potty". Sometimes that works with Cosette. She doesn't have to go, but as soon as I have to go she wants to go before me for some reason.
Maybe you could do a build up of small gifts to the barbie? That way she gets some rewards along the way. You could get barbie accessories to go with the doll.
This is what we're doing, except the small gifts don't really lead up to anything bigger. We're doing a daily sticker chart--one sticker for every successful potty trip (2 stickers if he pees and poops in one go). Then right before bed time we take them all off his shirt and let him put them on the chart. We count them together, and then he gets to pick one "potty present" out of a box. We're doing hot wheels cars because he loves them and on Amazon they're like $1/car. We keep the box where he can see it but it's out of reach to help remind him of the goal.
I also found pretty quick that the more I asked/encouraged him to go on the potty, the more resistant he got. But if I just leave the little potty in the same room with him, he's actually really good about sitting on it. Or if he asks for something, like a snack or juice, I'll say, "Go do a pee and then I'll get it," and he's been pretty receptive to that. We've starting calling it "a so fast pee!" to make it feel more fun, which also seems to have helped.
You could try what we did with Ingrid - because we were so busy with putting the house on the market and moving and fixing up the new house for the last 6 months, we didn't go hard core cold turkey with potty training because we were never home long enough to make it work. She used the potty and wore panties while she was at daycare (and would occasionally have accidents) and then at home she was in pull ups. We would have her sit on the potty before and after bed and naps every day and throughout the day we would have her go sit on the potty - sometimes she would pee and sometimes not. It took longer to get her totally trained (not sleep-trained though, she still wears pull-ups at night and naptime) but it may help ease Dagny into it. How long do you have until she starts pre-school? She may need a more staggered approach to help ease her into it and get comfortable sitting on the potty.
Emma was potty trained at preschool too. The peer pressure seemed to help with her, but she's all about being one of the 'big girls'. I think this is what I'm going to have to do. Preschool starts the last week of Aug so I do have some time.
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