Older Sibling Care During L&D

[Squishy622]

Every day I come up with a new thing to stress about. This week it's who will watch our toddler while I deliver since we have no family nearby. I know this issue isn't necessarily specific to multiples, but the timing of when it will happen is a lot less certain and unpredictable this time. If I'm lucky enough to get all the way to the end with a scheduled induction or c-section, then my mom will be in town..

But if my water breaks at 1 am at 33 weeks or something, I have no idea what we'd do. Take her with us? Or go to the hospital myself and have H stay home with her until normal daylight hours when we can bring her to preschool or ask a friend? We have good friends whom I feel comfortable asking, but they all have kids too, and they all turn off their phones overnight... I'm not going to ask them to keep them on potentially for 2 months for me in case of my potential overnight emergency! Am I over thinking this?

BTDT moms with older siblings and no family around, what did you do?

[thesportsgal]

I have a couple neighbors on call but it sounds like that might not be a possibility for you. Do they really sleep with their phones on? How many hours away is your mom? Could you bring LO with you and she can meet you there?

[purplegaloshes]

For what it's worth, the new iPhone operating system has a selective "do not disturb" feature, so your friends could block calls from every number except your from coming through overnight once you get closer to your delivery date. Not familiar with droid, but I'd bet most newer phones have similar features.

[beachy]

My parents are about a 12 hour drive away. They are driving down 4 days before my scheduled c/s, and if I go before that they will get in the car immediately. We have 2 neighbor houses that we are pretty close with (one of which their kids babysit for us), and both of them have said we can call any time day or night and they will come over to watch DS. We do have other friends who have offered but they are farther away.

Honestly I don't think it's too much to ask your friends if they will keep their phones on for you and you could bring your child there. I would have no problem if a friend asked me that, especially knowing they had no family around.

[aydee]

We were "on call" for our friend/neighbor across the street recently. I brought my phone upstairs with me every night for at least a month just in case she had her baby early, which she did. It was no big deal to me. I felt good that I could help them out. We've also done the same for another friend/neighbor in the past, and she did end up going into labor in the middle of the night and needed us to watch her son until someone else could get there in the morning. I feel like friends with young kids just do these kinds of things for one another. It's not like you give birth every day. This is a favor you're going to ask of people very few times in your life.

I fretted for quite a while about what to do about care for my twins when I go into labor with baby #3, especially since we have no family here and my DD and DS aren't good with people they don't know extremely well. Fortunately our old nanny lives just a few blocks away and has offered to be "on call" in the middle of the night if needed. It's stressful trying to figure this out for sure!

[Squishy622]

Thanks all. My friends are like family to us and you're all right, I know they'll be happy to be "on call" if I ask. purplegaloshes, good call on the do not disturb feature, I had forgotten about that!

I think it's just my own insecurity that's holding me back from asking, like I feel like I'm imposing, but my kid is pretty low-maintenance so hopefully it'll be no big deal. thesportsgal my mom is halfway across the country - I wish she could be on standby like that!

Also H and I talked tonight about a few different options for friends/coworkers that we'd feel comfortable asking, depending on the time of day and circumstances. So having a list of different people who may be available makes me feel better too.