Recommend Your Fave Parenting Books

[nobb14]

Hello beautiful people!!

Something about Captain Serious's comments yesterday in a different thread kicked my ass (in a good way) about needing to be prepared for adopting a child- as in, actually having a baby to take care of! I've read the general adoption "how tos" before we signed up with our agency, but was wondering if any of you have any specific newborn parenting book recommendations for me to get my hands on?

I am definitely going to look into the ones mentioned in he FAQ section but they seem to be targeted to an older child; what I am really looking for is information on what I need to know about taking care of an infant; since this will be our first I literally know nothing, and I don't want to wait until we have a tiny human in our lives to figure it out. :-) once we get matched we will probably be attending more in person sessions, but I would like to try to learn as much as possible while we wait. Will it be possible to find info on newborn care without having information on pregnancy? Thank you in advance!!

[lizblue]

Hi nobb14, We were required to take a newborn basics class as part of our application and I would recommend it. If possible, see if one is offered via your agency. Our agency offers one, but we couldn't make it so we took one at a local hospital. Downside of that is that I was surrounded by many pregnant women. Upside is that I got to make super awesome jokes. For example, we went around the table and introduced ourselves and had to tell everyone when our due date was. I said, "Hi, my name is Lizblue and I am not pregnant." And then my husband kicked me under the table and I told them we were adopting.

If you can handle the pregnancy and breast feeding talk, it was really worthwhile. While I thought it would be basic, I realized I actually needed to learn the basics! How does one change a diaper exactly, and am I supposed to use powder or diaper cream (spoiler: NO. I didn't know this). We learned about swaddling and feeding times, sponge baths and how many hours newborns sleep (spoiler: A LOT. But not at night.)

And I'll be following this thread too to look for good book suggestions. It's starting to become real, right?

[mama2a]

Too funny--I am about to post to Captain Serious (and co.) in the thread I created of specific books on adopting older kids and then I saw your post. I have a 1.5 year old and found that during the first year of life my main questions were about sleep and feeding.

I highly recommend The Happiest Baby on the Block. I didn't read the book (which I'm told is good), but I did watch the 30-minute DVD and thought that was enough. It teaches you about the 4th Trimester, what to expect and why this crying behavior is normal, and how to help your LO so it is one that will help you BEFORE you bring LO home.

There are so many opinions about sleep so be aware--I personally liked Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child because I thought it was the most realistic with no claims that they can help your kid STTN (which IMO is something you will have little control over). I liked it because it emphasize the importance of naps and routine which will in turn help your child sleep better at night. For feeding, I think the most helpful was Child of Mine. You may find though that you shouldn't read these books until after you have taken your LO home because all babies are so different and it will also be hard to retain information until you know what information applies to you and your LO. With the exception of The Happiest Baby on the Block, that DVD or book will be good to read beforehand as you can start utilizing those tips right away as a newborn.

After the 1st year comes temper tantrums and attachment/separation anxiety phases which is what my DD is going through and I currently like The Whole Brain Child. I'm about to read Peaceful Parents, Happy Kid.

I also was just alerted to Ahaparenting.com which maybe you'll find helpful.

[nobb14]

Thanks lizblue!! I think this is where the national vs local agency differences come into play. Our agency requires very little from us as they rely heavily on our state's homestudy for our training. Granted, our particular state requires "ten hours" of adoption training, but it's only a glorified power point presentation that we download and covers the very broad spectrum from fostering to DIA to international adoption... It also is nowhere near ten hours long, since it depends on how quickly you move through it. So while I am learning a lot, it doesn't encompass everything!


What you're describing sounds up my alley, since I'm in the same boat- no idea how to change a diaper, install a car seat, etc. I'm nervous about the triggers of pregnant women- on one hand it's extremely hard for me to be around them, but on the other I need to put my big girl panties on and actually let myself believe that i will have a baby and will need this information. I never considered doing those classes before getting matched, though, and that may make the wait a little more bearable and, like you said, real.

I did just buy two books on amazon that were light reading for newborn parenting but highly rated. They seem to put a satirical spin on the basics, so I figured i would get my feet wet with this info and it seemed like a good compromise; one is "the baby owners manual" and "be prepared: a practical handbook for new dads" for MH.

[nobb14]

Jun 23, 2015 9:06:35 GMT -5 mama2a said:

Too funny--I am about to post to Captain Serious (and co.) in the thread I created of specific books on adopting older kids and then I saw your post. I have a 1.5 year old and found that during the first year of life my main questions were about sleep and feeding.

I highly recommend The Happiest Baby on the Block. I didn't read the book (which I'm told is good), but I did watch the 30-minute DVD and thought that was enough. It teaches you about the 4th Trimester, what to expect and why this crying behavior is normal, and how to help your LO so it is one that will help you BEFORE you bring LO home.

There are so many opinions about sleep so be aware--I personally liked Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child because I thought it was the most realistic with no claims that they can help your kid STTN (which IMO is something you will have little control over). I liked it because it emphasize the importance of naps and routine which will in turn help your child sleep better at night. For feeding, I think the most helpful was Child of Mine. You may find though that you shouldn't read these books until after you have taken your LO home because all babies are so different and it will also be hard to retain information until you know what information applies to you and your LO. With the exception of The Happiest Baby on the Block, that DVD or book will be good to read beforehand as you can start utilizing those tips right away as a newborn.

After the 1st year comes temper tantrums and attachment/separation anxiety phases which is what my DD is going through and I currently like The Whole Brain Child. I'm about to read Peaceful Parents, Happy Kid.

I also was just alerted to Ahaparenting.com which maybe you'll find helpful.

Thank you!!! I need to learn ALL the things about sleep patterns. Considering I get frustrated when my dog wakes us up at night, I'm in for a rude awakening when we do finally bring our baby home!

[drl]

I would urge you to find the "right" newborn care class. Ours was taught by a sub who was a lactation consultant, so it was heavy on the BFing aspect of newborn care, and she literally said that breastfeeding cures cancer. So DH and I were NOT happy. The only 2 things we learned was how tiny a newborn's stomach is (very important) and how often to feed/bathe a baby.

The book we called The Oracle turned out to be Your Baby's First Year Week by Week. We always read a week ahead to have an idea what to expect. It was written in a very supportive style, emphasized that all children develop at different rates so yours might be ahead or behind by a week or so, gave activities to try during each week of development, and was in general very helpful and comforting. After that I got Your Toddler Month by Month, and I found it very useful during the "fun" transitions that happen during toddlerhood. It was edited by a cognitive neuroscientist, so there was a lot of "this is your toddler's brain, and this is why she cried over a purple shirt this morning." It helped keep me from losing it on several occasions.

I'm just now starting Raising Your Spirited Child. DD had an adventurous year at preschool this year, and I think this book nails her personality.

Also for supplies I got the Baby Bargains book, but you can just as easily check out their website. It gives the basics on gear and clothing you need, and rates what's out there.

[pinkie]

We took a newborn class but I'll be honest once we had a baby we forgot it all and went on instinct and called my mom and best friend a lot .

I also recommend happiest baby on the block and healthy sleep happy baby (I know I messed up the title). We were so focused on becoming parents we really never thought how bad baby sleep issues could be so reading up on healthy sleep practices in advance is a great idea.

Oh you can YouTube swaddling techniques but if you use the swaddle blankets they make it pretty idiot proof (trust me we were idiots with all of it)

[akafred]

Happiest Baby on the Block. For sleep, Sleepless in America.

For discipline, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and Listen so Kids Will Talk. It is the best place to start IMO, though it is geared to older kids a little more. It will lay the foundation for other Adler/Dreikurs inspired books like Positive Discipline.

A great book (discipline + general parenting) for toddlers is The Emotional Life of the Toddler. I read it when kiddo was 3 and would have preferred to read it earlier.

And there is a series of books on child development where the titles are Your X Year Old and then a colon and then 2 conflicting words. Like Your 3 Year Old: Friend or Enemy? Not even kidding. It really gives good info to help you level set expectations as well as good advice (like put your 3 year old in daycare as much as possible lol).