Looking for some guidance...

[alaskadee]

Hi ladies! So I just need some guidance. We were matched with a beautiful EM (I love her a whole lot!) when she was 14 weeks...we were able to meet her this weekend and attend the anatomy scan yesterday! Holy crap that was an amazing experience!
So here's where I need the guidance. I'm an emotional mess today I thought I'd be jumping for joy today (which I really am, my emotions are just getting the best of me.) But I found myself overwhelmed and almost paralyzed with fear. It's like it all become very really. I got to see him (it's a boy btw ) move and hear his heartbeat. I got to touch EM's belly and talk to the little man. I'm so in love with him already....but it's so real that it could all change. I obviously would support her decision if she changed her mind, I wouldn't blame her, she'd be an excellent mother! But I all of sudden feel like I have so much to lose...did anyone else go through something similar?? I'm just praying for guidance, peace, and patience. Tia

[nobb14]

How exciting!!! I have no advice but am super happy for you. I am sure what you're feeling is normal, and will only go away or at least diminish as your relationship with the EM gets stronger. It takes time for both of you to earn trust, but once you get there- you'll feel better about everything. There are so many conflicting emotions to deal with, just take your time in absorbing it. You are my go-to success story when I feel down about my own wait- it will work out for you!

[pinkie]

I think what you are feeling is totally normal. Both of our matches were short (1-2 months) and the EMs were across the country so we didn't have the visuals (belly, ultrasound screen). The first time the wait was extra hard because of the overwhelming need to be parents after such a long road. The second time I was way more willing to believe what's meant to be will work out.

In retrospect I wish I could have enjoyed the excitement more. Try to enjoy the time and try to not obsess on the what ifs. Lots of hugs!

[pamela]

I absolutely went through a serious almost anxiety attack after our second meeting that I felt was awkward, what if she was changing her mind, etc. In my mind and heart I know how much I want her to make the right choice even if it is to parent, but I just want to know what that decision is. We did go buy the minimum clothes to get through a couple of days, but haven't been washed more than a few hand me down outfits.

[lizblue]

So many ((hugs)). This is so exciting and I'd imagine, so scary. Love like this does raise the stakes.

There is no way to know the future but know that for now, this woman is choosing this plan. And she has chosen you. Deep breaths and we're always here to listen.

[jwinct]

I'm so excited for you and wish you the best of luck!!

I can only imagine the emotions that are involved in this. Excitement, fear, you name it... and I'm sure all adoptive parents go through it. How could you not be terrified that the EM might change her mind? All you can do is take it one day at a time and hope for the best outcome. Heck, I am already afraid that we will end up getting a child placed with us and then that child will end up going back to his/her birth family, and we're not even licensed yet!

Hugs to you!

[alaskadee]

Thanks ladies! I feel so much better today...actually I felt better just writing this and getting it off my chest! I just keep look at the sonogram pictures and enjoy the moments I have with this current situations! Thanks again!

[alaskadee]

Jun 24, 2015 5:22:23 GMT -5 pamela said:

I absolutely went through a serious almost anxiety attack after our second meeting that I felt was awkward, what if she was changing her mind, etc. In my mind and heart I know how much I want her to make the right choice even if it is to parent, but I just want to know what that decision is. We did go buy the minimum clothes to get through a couple of days, but haven't been washed more than a few hand me down outfits.

I definitely think it's the needing to know...like I said in op, I would support her no matter, but want to know, lol. But that's not how this works right? One day at a time