Probably co sleep from a much earlier age. Its been great partial co-sleeping since about 3.5 months or so, and I think it would have been nice to really do it early on.
Planned from the beginning to stay home for 4 months not 3. We would have been ok without my pay for a month, and LO was much more ready for day care at 4 months than he was at 3. By the time I knew I wanted to stay home another month it was too late job wise to try and work that out.
Exerscize more from an earlier start (HAHAHAHAH) pipe dreams amitright?
Second time moms, chime in here. Is the willingness of babies to lay on their backs, alone, for any significant period of time more dependent on their habits, how much they're held, or some combination of the two? DS hated being on his back from day 1 in the hospital "crib." If it's my fault he always wants to be upright (and usually held), I will try to do that differently. Also, I will prob offer a bottle more often. DS has only had a bottle 4 or 5 times. Totally my fault.
I'm a FTM but my baby wouldn't lay flat in the hospital either. Well, he was in NICU for 2 days and they had some kind of magic because he slept in the crib there, but the minute he came to our room he wouldn't tolerate it. I don't know how to avoid that hell next time, but I sure hope there's a way. I would like to say no RNP next time, but that was the ONLY place my LO would sleep so who the hell knows.
Second time moms, chime in here. Is the willingness of babies to lay on their backs, alone, for any significant period of time more dependent on their habits, how much they're held, or some combination of the two? DS hated being on his back from day 1 in the hospital "crib." If it's my fault he always wants to be upright (and usually held), I will try to do that differently. Also, I will prob offer a bottle more often. DS has only had a bottle 4 or 5 times. Totally my fault.
I'm a FTM but my baby wouldn't lay flat in the hospital either. Well, he was in NICU for 2 days and they had some kind of magic because he slept in the crib there, but the minute he came to our room he wouldn't tolerate it. I don't know how to avoid that hell next time, but I sure hope there's a way. I would like to say no RNP next time, but that was the ONLY place my LO would sleep so who the hell knows.
I know it's awful but DS slept on his side from pretty much day one. He's better now and will sleep on his back. But DD sleeps flat on her face so I suspect DS will be the same way.
If there is a next time, I will try to enjoy pregnancy a little more. I was paranoid 24/7 of something going wrong. I was not nice and hated the attention.
Other that that, work a little harder at encouraging naps. Abby was (is) a bad napper. She was never one of those babies that passed out for hours and allowed me to do chores. I got nothing done on maternity leave.
I was so focused on "only the breast" the first 2 weeks I was likely starving my sweet little girl. After we starting supplementing with formula and I started exclusively pumping she became much happier. Next time I will be easier on myself and know that what is important is that they are being fed (not if it is strictly from the breast). I will also take home a lot more "free" newborn diapers from the hospital!
I was so focused on "only the breast" the first 2 weeks I was likely starving my sweet little girl. After we starting supplementing with formula and I started exclusively pumping she became much happier. Next time I will be easier on myself and know that what is important is that they are being fed (not if it is strictly from the breast). I will also take home a lot more "free" newborn diapers from the hospital!
Oh yes. Def need to take more from the hospital if there is a next time.
Oh, i have another one. put a pad in if my water breaks at home. I had no idea. None.
DH made sure I had I pad in. Plus I had to sit on a towel. God forbid I get amniotic fluid on his leather seats. At least he learned the word "amniotic fluid" at our labor class I drug him to!
I'm a FTM but my baby wouldn't lay flat in the hospital either. Well, he was in NICU for 2 days and they had some kind of magic because he slept in the crib there, but the minute he came to our room he wouldn't tolerate it. I don't know how to avoid that hell next time, but I sure hope there's a way. I would like to say no RNP next time, but that was the ONLY place my LO would sleep so who the hell knows.
I know it's awful but DS slept on his side from pretty much day one. He's better now and will sleep on his back. But DD sleeps flat on her face so I suspect DS will be the same way.
DD is the same way. She will not sleep on her back at all. Even at the hospital when I put her in the bassinet flat she would cry the nurse told me to prop her up and she was quiet. I'm a side sleep only too so I guess she got it honest.
Second time around...If there is one.. def sleeping in the crib from jump and no nursing to sleep. But that's a strong IF.
I'm one and done, but were I to do it again I'd ask for more help from certain people during pregnancy (and do better with boundaries with certain other people). I felt really alone for a lot of it, and now that it's over I realize I was really depressed.
I'd find a way to advocate for myself better after the birth in the hospital. Actually, ideal world, I wouldn't go to the hospital. I totally understand the desire for home births now.
I would be stronger about limiting visitors, especially how many at once, in the first week or two. All I wanted was to be quiet and get to know my new baby, and instead I had my mother, in-laws, SIL, her husband, and her three kids, all at my house at the same time the very day I came home. It's not what I wanted, but I wasn't able stand up for myself. I don't think DH realized how uncomfortable it was for me.
I'd ask my BFF to come visit in the hospital WITHOUT her toddler so that I could have some real time with her and she could hold LO.
I don't have much about taking care of LO that I'd do differently yet. I guess stick to giving a bottle regularly and pumping regularly to keep a little extra supply going.
Take more pictures of LO with us, and other family members and friends. I always forget at the time.
I'm one and done, but were I to do it again I'd ask for more help from certain people during pregnancy (and do better with boundaries with certain other people). I felt really alone for a lot of it, and now that it's over I realize I was really depressed.
I'd find a way to advocate for myself better after the birth in the hospital. Actually, ideal world, I wouldn't go to the hospital. I totally understand the desire for home births now.
I would be stronger about limiting visitors, especially how many at once, in the first week or two. All I wanted was to be quiet and get to know my new baby, and instead I had my mother, in-laws, SIL, her husband, and her three kids, all at my house at the same time the very day I came home. It's not what I wanted, but I wasn't able stand up for myself. I don't think DH realized how uncomfortable it was for me.
I'd ask my BFF to come visit in the hospital WITHOUT her toddler so that I could have some real time with her and she could hold LO.
I don't have much about taking care of LO that I'd do differently yet. I guess stick to giving a bottle regularly and pumping regularly to keep a little extra supply going.
Take more pictures of LO with us, and other family members and friends. I always forget at the time.
I agree with the advocating better for yourself in the hospital. I'll definitely add that to mine. I had some negative experiences with night nurses (1 in l&d and 1 postpartum). In the future, I'll ask to change
STM. I limited visitors waaaaay more this time around and am SO glad. It made my physical and emotional recovery so much smoother. I also napped a lot more and focused less on cleaning/cooking/laundry when she was sleeping.
I vowed not to constantly hold DD while she was napping since DS had so many nap issues, which I blamed on the fact that we mostly held him for naps for the first several months. Yeah, that one flew out the window. I can't resist holding a snuggly sleeping infant. I did start naps in the crib earlier for DD than I did with DS, but she's still sleeping in the RNP in our room at night.
Post by jensoprano82 on Jun 27, 2015 0:28:34 GMT -5
I will let the hospital take the baby to the nursery for four or five hours so I can sleep. After delivering, I did not get more than two consecutive hours sleep for probably eight weeks solid. It was too brutal.
I also won't make as many hard and fast plans next time. I read so many books and did so much planning for Bex, and it's amazing how fast those plans go out the window if your baby has a medical condition.
Post by WittyLittle on Jun 27, 2015 1:22:23 GMT -5
This might sound weird but, I'll get checked for a yeast infection in the final weeks. We had thrush here That on top of DSs tongue tie (which they still refuse to cut...) was the early grave for breastfeeding. I had no idea how trapped I would feel behind that pump for the 10 weeks after that considering how little DH is home and how needy DS can be.
I'd just like to give a shout out to my sister who will never ever read this. She's a prenatal coach, and has one VERY needy child. Colic, reflux, very hyper, bad sleeper, refuses to eat, etc. She showed me some pitfalls without ever making me feel like she was lecturing me.
And a shout out to the dutch medical system. You get released from hospital after only 2 hours if everything is ok, but get sent home with a nurse who is there 8 hours a day and shows you everything she can about taking care of your LO. DS was taught to sleep on his own from day 1, they help you with breastfeeding, they clean your house (She organised my whole house it was amazing), send your SO on shopping trips for whatever you forgot to buy, manage your visitors and send them away, feed you, check your hoohoo, let you cry at them with your terrible 'omg how have i forgotten to brush my teeth? you do everything around here!' breath...
In other words, 2nd time around I'm going to stop being so panicky and realise I had all the freaking tools, and it's not the end of the world if LO cries and won't sleep and doesn't sit, fetch and roll over in the first week they'll get there.
Frick this turned into an essay. Sorry... I'm ovulating
Try swaddling sooner and no grandparents visiting for the first month or so. And I'm going to be more insistent that they do things my way. Like not holding the baby during naps. Three months after the last visit and I'm still fighting to get him to nap in his crib and not on someone.
I'd get my anxiety addressed sooner and not beat myself up for having to supplement. I'll also push for a lip/tongue tie assessment and treatment sooner and not be afraid to ask for some formula if that's the difference between a tired hungry baby and a happy baby.
WittyLittle, can you pay for it yourselves? I know here that in most cases you have to pay for it yourself and private insurance only covers a little of the cost.
This might sound weird but, I'll get checked for a yeast infection in the final weeks. We had thrush here That on top of DSs tongue tie (which they still refuse to cut...) was the early grave for breastfeeding. I had no idea how trapped I would feel behind that pump for the 10 weeks after that considering how little DH is home and how needy DS can be.
I'd just like to give a shout out to my sister who will never ever read this. She's a prenatal coach, and has one VERY needy child. Colic, reflux, very hyper, bad sleeper, refuses to eat, etc. She showed me some pitfalls without ever making me feel like she was lecturing me.
And a shout out to the dutch medical system. You get released from hospital after only 2 hours if everything is ok, but get sent home with a nurse who is there 8 hours a day and shows you everything she can about taking care of your LO. DS was taught to sleep on his own from day 1, they help you with breastfeeding, they clean your house (She organised my whole house it was amazing), send your SO on shopping trips for whatever you forgot to buy, manage your visitors and send them away, feed you, check your hoohoo, let you cry at them with your terrible 'omg how have i forgotten to brush my teeth? you do everything around here!' breath...
In other words, 2nd time around I'm going to stop being so panicky and realise I had all the freaking tools, and it's not the end of the world if LO cries and won't sleep and doesn't sit, fetch and roll over in the first week they'll get there.
Frick this turned into an essay. Sorry... I'm ovulating
You Dutch people with your amazing free healthcare and your ridiculously high education levels and happiness indexes....
This might sound weird but, I'll get checked for a yeast infection in the final weeks. We had thrush here That on top of DSs tongue tie (which they still refuse to cut...) was the early grave for breastfeeding. I had no idea how trapped I would feel behind that pump for the 10 weeks after that considering how little DH is home and how needy DS can be.
I'd just like to give a shout out to my sister who will never ever read this. She's a prenatal coach, and has one VERY needy child. Colic, reflux, very hyper, bad sleeper, refuses to eat, etc. She showed me some pitfalls without ever making me feel like she was lecturing me.
And a shout out to the dutch medical system. You get released from hospital after only 2 hours if everything is ok, but get sent home with a nurse who is there 8 hours a day and shows you everything she can about taking care of your LO. DS was taught to sleep on his own from day 1, they help you with breastfeeding, they clean your house (She organised my whole house it was amazing), send your SO on shopping trips for whatever you forgot to buy, manage your visitors and send them away, feed you, check your hoohoo, let you cry at them with your terrible 'omg how have i forgotten to brush my teeth? you do everything around here!' breath...
In other words, 2nd time around I'm going to stop being so panicky and realise I had all the freaking tools, and it's not the end of the world if LO cries and won't sleep and doesn't sit, fetch and roll over in the first week they'll get there.
Frick this turned into an essay. Sorry... I'm ovulating
That sounds so fantastic. I want that nurse to have been in my life.
This might sound weird but, I'll get checked for a yeast infection in the final weeks. We had thrush here That on top of DSs tongue tie (which they still refuse to cut...) was the early grave for breastfeeding. I had no idea how trapped I would feel behind that pump for the 10 weeks after that considering how little DH is home and how needy DS can be.
I'd just like to give a shout out to my sister who will never ever read this. She's a prenatal coach, and has one VERY needy child. Colic, reflux, very hyper, bad sleeper, refuses to eat, etc. She showed me some pitfalls without ever making me feel like she was lecturing me.
And a shout out to the dutch medical system. You get released from hospital after only 2 hours if everything is ok, but get sent home with a nurse who is there 8 hours a day and shows you everything she can about taking care of your LO. DS was taught to sleep on his own from day 1, they help you with breastfeeding, they clean your house (She organised my whole house it was amazing), send your SO on shopping trips for whatever you forgot to buy, manage your visitors and send them away, feed you, check your hoohoo, let you cry at them with your terrible 'omg how have i forgotten to brush my teeth? you do everything around here!' breath...
In other words, 2nd time around I'm going to stop being so panicky and realise I had all the freaking tools, and it's not the end of the world if LO cries and won't sleep and doesn't sit, fetch and roll over in the first week they'll get there.
Frick this turned into an essay. Sorry... I'm ovulating
You Dutch people with your amazing free healthcare and your ridiculously high education levels and happiness indexes....
To be fair it's not entirely free. We pay about $1000-$2000 per year for it, but if you earn less than the mean income level you get subsidized for it. We got loads of subsidies for different things, but we pay 45-52% income tax as well. It only works because we're a small country, and the last years things are slowly disappearing
If there is a next time, I will try to enjoy pregnancy a little more. I was paranoid 24/7 of something going wrong. I was not nice and hated the attention.
Other that that, work a little harder at encouraging naps. Abby was (is) a bad napper. She was never one of those babies that passed out for hours and allowed me to do chores. I got nothing done on maternity leave.
Me too. I really wished I enjoyed my PG more but I was an emotional avalanche.
Post by toadandbuggie on Jun 27, 2015 6:07:25 GMT -5
I hope with #2 I will relax more and get more sleep in the beginning instead of staring at baby and poking them to see if they are breathing. I think (hope) that the first baby has a lot more anxiety around it because you've never taken care of an infant and the second time around is better because you're like "Ok, I've done this before."
Post by WittyLittle on Jun 27, 2015 6:13:37 GMT -5
Buy less clothes for the first months. I already hardly bought any but it was still too much! On the other hand, buy post maternity wear BEFORE i pop... I had nothing to wear but 1 pair of trackpants when I had DS for a week until my mom came and saved me.
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