Things to do different next time.

[FlutterOfYoshis]

Jun 26, 2015 17:31:42 GMT -5 PikoPiko said:

That damn pacifier... Man alive. No more.

Baby sleeps in the crib from day one.

This. Plus I'd like my MIL to come help in the first week of having a newborn instead of my family because she'd ACTUALLY HELP.

I still regret not standing my ground more on when my family could visit amd how. I got just under 24 hours with this one before they came barging in. (My mom actually arrived unannounced, opened the door wide, and practically shouted "We're here!!!"...DH and I had finally just started to nap and DD woke up crying at the sudden noise. Ugh.) They stayed in a hotel the first night as asked, but then they didn't make reservations for the length of their stay so they slept in our basement. I also barely saw DD during their visit. We had some breastfeeding difficulty in the start so I needed her to be taken a bit further away between feedings so I could recover or she'd sit on my boobs all day...but my family took her so far away I couldn't even see her while I was an emotional wreck crying on the couch with DH consoling me and trying to get my mom to stop controlling pass the baby (this is still a problem I need to stop her from when she visits). My dad and brother also did nothing to help besides hold the baby and grab take-out once. The rest of the time they sat in the dining room paying poker. I mean seriously?!

Sorry, I guess I've been holding that in a while. :-( Not again.

[michelle142]

STM here.

Everything I said I wouldn't do this time, I've done anyway. Oops.

Dd was in our room for 3 months, longer than DS. Naps in the crib from day 1, yeah that didn't happen.

The only thing I've done successfully this time was making sure we still get out and do things. With DS, I felt like we stayed home for a solid year. This time we are constantly on the go.

[WittyLittle]

FlutterOfYoshis hugs. That does sound bad. I'd have killed anyone for taking over DS when he was just born. Though my parents waltzed into the delivery suite when I was still getting stitched up. They live a 3 hour drive away... HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!

[taberbtb]

I'm with PikoPiko no gd pacifier. Such a great idea at the time…

I would hope that if I don't succeed at BF'ing I can be ok with it and throw in the towel when I need to instead of making it my cross to die on. I wanted to badly to make it work, when it wasn't I refused to quit and it caused some serious anxiety for me as well as so much stress on my family, DH and LO. When I went for my discharge from the midwives the first thing they said to me was "wow, you look so much more relaxed and happier". I still have all the mommy guilt about it. I hope next time I can just put my ego aside, quit giving a f*ck about what my baby is eating, and just clearly see what's best for us.

[GeekBeagle]

Jun 27, 2015 9:36:38 GMT -5 taberbtb said:

I'm with PikoPiko no gd pacifier. Such a great idea at the time…

I would hope that if I don't succeed at BF'ing I can be ok with it and throw in the towel when I need to instead of making it my cross to die on. I wanted to badly to make it work, when it wasn't I refused to quit and it caused some serious anxiety for me as well as so much stress on my family, DH and LO. When I went for my discharge from the midwives the first thing they said to me was "wow, you look so much more relaxed and happier". I still have all the mommy guilt about it. I hope next time I can just put my ego aside, quit giving a f*ck about what my baby is eating, and just clearly see what's best for us.

Yes, this!

[kartish]

If there is a next time, I hope I can be more relaxed about labor. My fears over labor, and mostly my fears over having a kid and being a parent I think contributed to my labor not progressing at all.

Also, before the next one comes I hope to have their space completely done and organized before they come. Putting together an ikea dresser with a newborn is not fun.

Also, naps in crib much sooner, no stress about nursing and less pacifier nonsense would be good.

[boxerrrmama85]

I'm happily still stumbling through being a FTM and don't have anything in particular that I wouldn't do with LO.

HOWEVER-- Next time I will say fuck it when it comes to maternity leave and take at least 10 weeks off! If they fire me I won't give a damn and will save up for that contingency. Even though it did get easier-- 6 weeks was just too soon and created unnecessary anxiety and stress!

[FlutterOfYoshis]

Jun 27, 2015 8:58:34 GMT -5 WittyLittle said:

FlutterOfYoshis hugs. That does sound bad. I'd have killed anyone for taking over DS when he was just born. Though my parents waltzed into the delivery suite when I was still getting stitched up. They live a 3 hour drive awawy... HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!

That's insane! I don't quite understand how some parents glide over the fact that sometimes their child-who's-now-an-adult needs space to adjust themselves, especially during such life-changing times. (Part of me wonders if it's a generational thing, but my ILs didn't come down until invited.) Thankfully our hospital had strict rules about their delivery rooms or I know Mom would've barged in there too. Recovery rooms however, not so much.

[WittyLittle]

Jun 27, 2015 13:26:49 GMT -5 FlutterOfYoshis said:

Jun 27, 2015 8:58:34 GMT -5 WittyLittle said:

FlutterOfYoshis hugs. That does sound bad. I'd have killed anyone for taking over DS when he was just born. Though my parents waltzed into the delivery suite when I was still getting stitched up. They live a 3 hour drive awawy... HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!

That's insane! I don't quite understand how some parents glide over the fact that sometimes their child-who's-now-an-adult needs space to adjust themselves, especially during such life-changing times. (Part of me wonders if it's a generational thing, but my ILs didn't come down until invited.) Thankfully our hospital had strict rules about their delivery rooms or I know Mom would've barged in there too. Recovery rooms however, not so much.

Pff never mind time for adjusting to everything, I would have been happy just to have time to get my vagina put back in something reasonably close to its original form

[maryxc1]

STM here.

I made sure to introduce the bottle fairly early and often. My first wouldn't ever take a bottle and I blame the fact that we didn't do it regularly and I didn't know there was a window of time that they will accept it.

The two that went out the window were no Paci and no napping in my lap. DD was a finger sucker and I decided Paci was better than fingers so I gave in. I type this as she sleeps in my lap because she won't take a good nap except there or driving. You win some, you lose some.

[cougarette]

I agree with many of you regarding visitors, both at the hospital and at home

Naps in the crib sooner, maybe not using the swing too much in general

I'll try to be more relaxed about breastfeeding and just trust my baby and my body to know what they need to do

[lilyelayne]

Cry less.

[lilyelayne]

Have more freezer meals that are not pasta based.
Be more confident in just feeding DS when he's hungry, even if we're about to get the check at a restaurant. It may only be 5 minutes before we're ready to go, but that 5 minutes is enough for a meltdown. It took way too many times for me to get over this particular situation.

[MommyOfAMiracle]

Give DH more responsibility with the baby.