Do you know what your spouse makes?

[melohdy]

I think H knows how much I make. When it comes to his Marine Corps pay, I am not really sure of the salary rate. I can usually guess how much he'll make over a drill weekend or while he's away at training. And I know how much he gets for housing. I do know how much he makes at his civilian job.

[anustart1]

This seems nuts to me. I helped negotiate his salary and raises and we only have joint accounts. I can see (and call him on) when he goes to starbucks for $3 so I for sure would be immediately texting him if his direct deposit amount changed without telling me. I'm sure he should know mine but he most likely forgot. It's not because I let it from him, he just doesn't ask money questions. We've also been together with our joint account since we were like 23 so it mighty be different if we got together as "adults."

But we have a couple friend where he guy told DH that he has a totally secret account with thousands of dollars that he uses to gamble in Vegas. I was amazed that he could skim hat much money and hide it from his wife as she is one of the smartest and with it moms I know.

[huckleberry08]

I cannot fathom not knowing how much my husband makes. I really can't. We each get 100 per month in fun money in our own accounts, but everything else is shared.

eta: It would technically be possible for him to divert some of his direct deposit to his personal account, but I help with our tax filings, so I would find out.

[peachey]

I know his salary and his bonus. I know when he gets a raise.

I can't say I know exactly how much his stock options are worth, but I could find out.

We don't share all our money, we have seperate accounts and our joint family accounts. So I have never seen his direct deposit. He is extremely fiscally responsible and he has investments that are all his personal money, but he never treats it like it is anything less then family money.

[melohdy]

I think we've discussed it here; but I am not sure how recently. I can't fathom having completely separate bank accounts and splitting bills with H. It's one thing to have personal accounts and joint account(s) but to keep them completely separate? Does not compute.

What is the reasoning behind not combining funds at all?

[42butterflies]

We have separate accounts and don't really meddle in each other's finances but we see each other's tax forms once a year. Plus we also discuss salary and bonuses while discussing budget and stuff.

[everydayimshuffling]

Since my H owns his own business (which I actually own half of... Long boring accounting story) you bet I know what he makes! And he knows what I make. It all gets put in to a report that we get from our accountant so we can do our planning. I can't imagine trying to keep separate finances. I know some people do it quite successfully, but how do you plan for the future if you aren't fully aware of the financial picture?



ETA: And If you keep separate finances but discuss all the specifics with each other and plan everything together, then what's the point of keeping them separate? I'm not trying to be argumentative at all, I really just don't get it.

[sympkin]

I couldn't imagine.

I take care of most of the taxes and investments. We're both self employed which I think makes it even more important to keep checking in with each other so we're pretty up front with things like "How is that account doing?" or "What were your billings for this week?"

[dencasa]

I think I'm in the minority here. I have no idea how much DH makes. I never have asked either nor do I care. DH pays for everything always. I always have money in my pocket for just in case type situations. If I want to get something I just get money from him. I don't have an account in Morocco. I do have an account in Denver. That's my money to do with as I wish. Of course this is a religious thing that we follow, DH provides and my money is my money.

[musicalsilver]

I'm joining the I can't imagine not knowing category.

Any big financial decisions we've made (our condo, then our house etc), have been made based off of knowing our complete financial picture. I don't see how you can make financial plans of any sort without having all the information.

[cl8badb]

We always know/knew what the other was making. Bonuses included.
I agree with the PPs that said that its important info if you are going to be making financial decisions together.

[vitafelix]

H just got his 2015 commission contract yesterday, so now we both know how much he makes .

[dencasa]

Jun 26, 2015 19:33:50 GMT -5 musicalsilver said:

I'm joining the I can't imagine not knowing category.

Any big financial decisions we've made (our condo, then our house etc), have been made based off of knowing our complete financial picture. I don't see how you can make financial plans of any sort without having all the information.

See I think this is where we have a vast difference. We again for religion reason do not take out loans. So when the time came for us to get a bigger place (he already bought our first apartment before we moved to Morocco) he showed me a few places and bought the one we both liked. We have done this with all the homes/property we now own. So with us it wasn't a matter of sitting down to see if we could afford the payments, it was I have this amount these are the places we can choose from. I am very much involved with the process choosing the place, decor, and anything else that comes to mind. Just not the money part. Does that make sense?

[kames12]

Jun 26, 2015 19:56:06 GMT -5 cl8badb said:

We always know/knew what the other was making. Bonuses included.
I agree with the PPs that said that its important info if you are going to be making financial decisions together.

+1 our accounts are separate but we know exactly how much each other makes. My pay check varies due to me being hourly and I always work over 40 hours

[PSNLS]

I helped him with choosing his new job based off the offered salaries. Right now I'm making zilch so he obviously knows that. When I was still working, he knew my pay because he manages our finances.

[musicalsilver]

Jun 26, 2015 20:19:59 GMT -5 dencasa said:

Jun 26, 2015 19:33:50 GMT -5 musicalsilver said:

I'm joining the I can't imagine not knowing category.

Any big financial decisions we've made (our condo, then our house etc), have been made based off of knowing our complete financial picture. I don't see how you can make financial plans of any sort without having all the information.

See I think this is where we have a vast difference. We again for religion reason do not take out loans. So when the time came for us to get a bigger place (he already bought our first apartment before we moved to Morocco) he showed me a few places and bought the one we both liked. We have done this with all the homes/property we now own. So with us it wasn't a matter of sitting down to see if we could afford the payments, it was I have this amount these are the places we can choose from. I am very much involved with the process choosing the place, decor, and anything else that comes to mind. Just not the money part. Does that make sense?

It does - it's a very different religious/cultural situation! 

[sctiger]

I can't imagine not knowing. All of our accounts and finances are combined and we both know what's going on.

[vasc]

We know everything down to the cent!

[lizzybizzy]

I knew what he made when he was working. He knows my salary as well.

[peachey]

So we do things the way we do for a couple of reasons.
One is that it is the way the Suze Orman suggests that couples manage money.
And two DH is very cheap, and this way eliminates most arguments about what I spend my personal money on, because he doesn't see it. We put a set amount in the family account for each months bills/savings and then do what we want with our own money. There are a lot of things in the monthly budget for spending on things like our clothes, dinners out, vacations etc.

I think this works well for us. And it may partly be because we were both older and more settled in our ways when we started combining finances.

[megaroo64]

Ok... So I don't know an exact number off the top of my head. I certainly know a range and I have access to everything. He gets stock options so that is generally the part I don't know- and his annual salary changes once a year- which is why I know in a general way but not down to the penny.

We have separate accounts-- sorta. Our paycheck go in our respective accounts, but we both have access to both accounts. And then everything is categorized in Quicken. We sit down once a quarter or so and review everything- so while it isn't something I have specifically committed to memory- I could find out at any time.

[daffy2k]

H is self-employed. He contracts himself out to the oil company he works for at a set hourly rate. I know this rate, but the exact yearly total varies based on how much he works. So I know what our company made last year and I could estimate this year's earnings based on a few monthly invoices, but I won't know exactly until the year is up.
I shared what I earned when I was working but I don't think he ever really cared or remembered (my salary was significantly lower than his and really didn't affect much of our planning). We both have full access to all of the accounts, we find it easier that way. Especially since my H can't stand to deal with bank stuff and he also works out of town and is rarely available to make it to the bank for anything important. He's never even been present for any of our mortgage stuff, I have always brought the papers home for him to sign and then returned them the following day. We sit down and review our budget every few months, but as far as planning for the future we do that with a financial advisor and he has all the info as well.

[workinit]

I actually didn't know but I had a guess and I was within 5,000!

We both have access to our account that all of MH's paycheck goes to. We have a few accounts we don't touch and my check goes into my own account that I use for about half of daycare and gifts.

[lioness13]

Yes, I know within a few thousand. We share this info freely.

[germaphobe]

Jun 26, 2015 17:20:59 GMT -5 anustart1 said:

This seems nuts to me. I helped negotiate his salary and raises and we only have joint accounts. I can see (and call him on) when he goes to starbucks for $3 so I for sure would be immediately texting him if his direct deposit amount changed without telling me. I'm sure he should know mine but he most likely forgot. It's not because I let it from him, he just doesn't ask money questions. We've also been together with our joint account since we were like 23 so it mighty be different if we got together as "adults."

But we have a couple friend where he guy told DH that he has a totally secret account with thousands of dollars that he uses to gamble in Vegas. I was amazed that he could skim hat much money and hide it from his wife as she is one of the smartest and with it moms I know.

Haha this is so me too!

[germaphobe]

I also know how much DH makes, base salary at least. It varies depending on the amount of OT and he knows how much I make. I can't believe not talking about it.

[dencasa]

Would you guys still be bothered if you didn't know how much him made, if he covered all expenses and your money was yours to use freely? Or is this something that you feel you have to know? Seriously curious here, it has never crossed my mind to ask my DH how much he made, even before the religion aspect is added into the mix. We've been married for 13 years. Am I broken?

[daffy2k]

Jun 27, 2015 22:42:13 GMT -5 dencasa said:

Would you guys still be bothered if you didn't know how much him made, if he covered all expenses and your money was yours to use freely? Or is this something that you feel you have to know? Seriously curious here, it has never crossed my mind to ask my DH how much he made, even before the religion aspect is added into the mix. We've been married for 13 years. Am I broken?

I certainly don't think you're broken, but like thelorax it wouldn't work for me.  Even though I am very involved in our finances, DH covers entirely all of our expenses (I don't work) and I can spend money pretty freely.  But I feel it is part of my responsibility as an equal partner in our relationship to also monitor the budget and ensure that we have savings for all the important things in the future.  When I treat myself to a pedicure it's because I know I have the money in the budget, if I wasn't involved in the discussions about money then I would be spending without really knowing how my "wants" we're negatively impacting our financial future.  While I do trust DH to be responsible and make good decisions for our family, I also like to think I can add something of value to the mix and maybe I will have ideas or opinions that could help our financial future for the better.

[dencasa]

thelorax what you said makes complete sense. It just really not something I ever worried or even thought to ask. We have a safe in the house I know the code I can access it any time I want. I have no idea what's inside. I can go look at any time I just don't care that much to go look.

We too discuss world events that involve money. We talk about the dollar/euro and how it is for business for him. I just don't say Hey sweetheart how much do you make/have in the bank.

daffy2k. I don't work either. Hahah even if I wanted to I don't speak French to get a decent job.

I feel like the interwebs is getting me all wrong. We discuss his work, we talk about savings, the girls college funds, we talk about big purchases both for home and the business. I just have no desire to know how much he is bringing in, or has in the bank. Like the thought never even crossed my mind to ask him. I should also point out if I did want to know he would tell me, I just have no desire to know.

[vitafelix]

dencasa my H seems to function similarly, except he's the one making most of the money. He is not really interested in how much we have in savings, etc. as long as he knows he's making enough money for us to be comfortable and not worry about general spending. I'm not sure if he knows how much I make or not, but he thinks my job is mostly for my own amusement because he makes so much more than I do, and gets raises regularly, despite my having a master's to his bachelor's.