I generally love my MIL but I'm so glad their stay is only one day. She continues to swaddle LO so the swaddle is behind her head, always pushes her pacifier on her when she fusses, and puts her down on the couch (which is a sofa bed but still). She also talked H into giving LO a bottle this morning instead of waking me up to nurse her, even though H knows how important it is I nurse her on demand. LO also needs two pumped bottles today because we have to give her some karo syrup to poop (of course it wasn't added into the early bottle) so now I'm chained to my pump to catch up. Fun stuff.
My SIL is coming Saturday and she already asked my DH if baby is on a feeding and sleep schedule yet...like sleeps eats and wakes at certain times. Ummm nope! She's barely a month old. She eats when she cries for it and sleeps when tired.
I generally love my MIL but I'm so glad their stay is only one day. She continues to swaddle LO so the swaddle is behind her head, always pushes her pacifier on her when she fusses, and puts her down on the couch (which is a sofa bed but still). She also talked H into giving LO a bottle this morning instead of waking me up to nurse her, even though H knows how important it is I nurse her on demand. LO also needs two pumped bottles today because we have to give her some karo syrup to poop (of course it wasn't added into the early bottle) so now I'm chained to my pump to catch up. Fun stuff.
Oh no she did not!! I would be absolutely livid if MlL did not wake me to feed.
Post by ThePalindromicOne on Jul 7, 2015 14:22:44 GMT -5
My ILs apparently think any noise a baby makes means he's upset about something. He'll be grunting or squirming or waking up and it's "what's the matter Ben? Why so upset?" These comments make me feel like I have an unhappy baby, which I don't. There are other sounds a baby makes besides upset sounds and silence (which apparently my ILs are only really comfortable with)
My ILs apparently think any noise a baby makes means he's upset about something. He'll be grunting or squirming or waking up and it's "what's the matter Ben? Why so upset?" These comments make me feel like I have an unhappy baby, which I don't. There are other sounds a baby makes besides upset sounds and silence (which apparently my ILs are only really comfortable with)
My ILs did that too. They would also pick up DB as soon as he squirmed or grunted, resulting in him waking up way too early from his naps. The day they left I let him fuss on and off and he had a 3-hour nap.
This is going to sound horrible, but my mother is driving me bat shit crazy!! Granted, she is kind of socially awkward because she just doesn't "get" things.. she's 100% Vietnamese, strong accent, culturally different, doesn't give 2 shits about what she wears or looks like.. anyway, she compares EVERYTHING I do to what she did. "Well I never did that" "We never had that" "You were potty trained by the time you were 1" And my favorite.. "I never had a problem breastfeeding you" That's just something you don't say over and over again to someone who DID struggle with it. Every step of the way. One problem after another for 18 days. I cried all day, everyday, and was an even bigger emotional wreck when I FINALLY decided that it was time to be done and switch to formula. That was the hardest decision thus far in my life, so please stop rubbing it in my face that you "never had a problem". And then yesterday evening, some of my family went out to eat and my mom kept asking me if the baby could stay overnight with them. Umm no, she's 4 weeks old. She wouldn't let it go and acted offended and kept saying "well I know how to take care of a baby". Grrr.. it has nothing to do with that. I'm not comfortable with her being anywhere overnight other than at home! End of discussion! Ahhhh!!!!
Picture this: 8:30pm after a day FULL of visitors. DH is at a lesson, and I'm sitting in the front living room, baby in boppy in my lap, boobs out air drying, TV on, exhausted, waiting for DH to get home (in the next 15 mins). A silver car pulls into the driveway, and I think it might be SIL (which would be fine- we're super close and she usually just swings by to drop of diapers or something else she's found on sale for us, dinner or to do laundry/she's the best.) I realize it's not her as I see a blond woman walk onto the porch. From the front door, if you peer in, you can see me sitting topless, but you'd have to be a creep to look in...which this unknown blond woman does. She SEES me on the couch, knocks and OPENS THE FRONT DOOR AND WALKS INTO MY LIVING ROOM as I quickly struggle to cover up, jostling baby in the process, waking her up. It's a colleague of DH's who just happened to be driving by and thought she'd stop to see if we needed anything because she was going to be on vacation for the next 3 weeks and this would be our last chance. I excuse myself for being undressed, and she's like, oh, I don't care. WELL I DO ! She proceeds to sit down on the couch and say, 'Don't worry, I'm not going to hold the baby." Well no sh*#! It's nighttime and you're an unexpected, uninvited visitor. I'm exhausted, and you just walked through my front door! I appreciate your offer to go shopping for us, for sure, but I'm actually totally capable of shopping for myself, and so are my parents, SIL, Brother, Other SIL, Husband, neighbors, GRUBHUB, AMAZON PRIME- We live in the 21st Century- I promise I will not starve...basically this woman would be the LAST person on our list of people to ask a favor for... Thankfully DH arrived home shortly after and politely ushered her out. Needless to say, the front door will be locked from now on (which is annoying bc we live in a very safe community- no need to lock for safety.)
selma8 creepy! Who does that?! Even just looking in is weird. If you knock and no one answers, that's the cue to leave, not check to see if the door is unlocked.
selma8 holy moly! That is ridiculously invasive and weird!!
I thought it was bad when a lady who brought us dinner last week (the same one I posted about previously in this thread) texted me at noon and asked if she could swing by and pick up her Tupperware, which of course she has every right to, but I texted back and said, "what time will you be in the area?" And thirty seconds later, she knocks on my door... I had BOTH boobs out, nursing baby on one side and trying to hand express into a bottle on the other because I can't find my breast pump... My toddler is half naked and I haven't showered in ...a while... No makeup, wearing sweatpants and a shirt covered in a plethora of bodily fluids. And I don't even want to talk about the state of my house!!
Like, thanks for the text hon, except NOT because clearly you typed it as you were pulling into my driveway and you didn't even wait on an answer.
People who just "stop by" in general should be punished, but when you have an 11 day old baby...? It's basically criminal behavior.
theBeeMama I'm glad I'm not the only one rocking a shirt covered in "a plethora of bodily fluids." I used to change my shirt, but it just happens way too often.
Joolschweets exactly- I don't mind breast feeding in front of some people, but it's my prerogative, not theirs ! I'll let you know if you can see my naked breasts, thank you very much.
Post by turtletyme on Jul 12, 2015 14:27:45 GMT -5
Guys. My sister came to help with the baby for two weeks. When I mentioned it before, carolyngrace said "that's a long visit" and you were right! The past 2 nights she's been blasted drunk. Locked herself out of the house one night... last night she tried to handle the baby with stinky cigarette and lost our TV remote. She was complaining that she thought she would be "busier" here, but she refuses to help me clean and just wants to play with the baby. (aka do the fun stuff while I do the work.) I have had no late night help either, just her telling me matter of factly that she heard the baby crying.
I knew everyone said this would happen, that guests are no help, but I am devastated and hope this doesn't permanently hurt our relationship. So sad and still a week to go.
Post by littlemissgrump on Jul 12, 2015 14:37:06 GMT -5
turtletyme so not cool. Having a newborn is hard enough add on a high maintenance "guest" and it turns into the opposite of help.
My sis is kinda like that, she's in town but not staying with us the whole time. She's only in it for the baby snuggles and has zero desire to lend a hand. I'm okay with it but if she came here to help out that would be a different story!
turtletyme I'm so sorry she isn't being helpful, can she go on a mini trip away for a day or two? My IL are coming for a week, and won't be staying overnight with us (id rather the help in the day) but are still taking a few days mid week to go visit friends - just to so everyone had a break? I've also found telling people what I need done helps, if that works?
Post by turtletyme on Jul 12, 2015 14:50:55 GMT -5
bruunk I have asked her for specific things, but she either says no or won't do them to my specifications (she acted like I was an idiot for wanting the baby clothes washed separately.) I have no family close by, so this is it for people coming to stay... I just have to power through it and I will be back to my own routine soon!
bruunk I have asked her for specific things, but she either says no or won't do them to my specifications (she acted like I was an idiot for wanting the baby clothes washed separately.) I have no family close by, so this is it for people coming to stay... I just have to power through it and I will be back to my own routine soon!
In that case, sending you all the power through it vibes you're a nicer sister than I am!! Good luck!
bruunk I'm sorry, that's really shitty and stressful. Maybe next time she locks herself out of your house while she's plastered you could conveniently not hear her trying to get in...Srsly though, I bet you're counting down the days!
turtletyme is having the sister trouble I agree with your plan of "not hearing" her if she locks herself out
Post by carolyngrace on Jul 12, 2015 20:06:52 GMT -5
turtletyme, Ugh! That sucks so much! And I thought my SIL was annoying for being OVERLY helpful. Hopefully you can just blame it on her ignorance and not let it affect your relationship long-term. If she has a baby someday she will likely beg your forgiveness for how she is acting.
One of my sisters got drunk at my baby shower and then never called (or anything) to congratulate me after the baby is born. We still haven't talked. But with her I know that it's because she's really sad she doesn't have a baby herself, so I sort of get it.
As for me, I'm super sad that our visitor train is over! And our meal train! We got some of the best meals, and for almost 6 weeks, so we were really lucky.
Post by Girlymama79 on Jul 12, 2015 22:25:06 GMT -5
My mil is here. Today I picked the zucchinis from my garden. Mil promptly tells me that I have too many to manage and she will be taking a few home. Rood!
turtletyme that sucks about your sister! You're clearly a very patient person, b/c I would've told her get the hell out of my house by now. Especially the coming back late/drunk thing. Ummm just no. We're too old for that to be cute/funny/acceptable.
My college roommate wanted to come up from VA and stay with us for 5 days while she's on summer break (she teaches overseas). I immediately said no...I love her but she's very messy and has no experience with babies. Luckily she was cool about it...she came up, spent an afternoon with us, then went and visited her niece in Philly. I'm just not into overnight visitors, and especially when I'm not getting enough sleep!
You need to have a chat with your DH. Whether or not he agrees with anything you are doing, you are "Team Joolschweets" when it comes to outside parties. Especially parents. He needs to let them know that snide comments about you/your parenting are comments about him and any comments other than "you guys are doing a great job" are completely inappropriate.
Also, I've had similar conversations with my MIL about her "perfect" children who never cried, fussed, etc. I've had no problem making statements like "Wow, it's obvious you haven't raised children in a long time, that's completely contrary to current medical advice. That probably explains why....(insert flaw about your husband there, I like to blame his allergies on the fact she put rice cereal in his bottle from Day 3 onward so he would sleep through the night)
Joolschweets That's so obnoxious. I got all rage-y reading your last post. Especially blaming fussiness on the quality of your breastmilk. And wanting to give water? I just can't even. I give so much credit to you for not freaking out on them but your H should definitely say something to defend you.
My MIL likes to mention ALL THE TIME that she (insert snotty tone here) knows how to take care of a baby because she raised her 3 children and also her 5 brothers. Good for you. You're an expert. Now leave me alone.
billyhorrible I'm peeing myself laughing; I thought I was the only one who constantly told my MIL how all her child-rearing tactics have now been deemed unsafe or unhealthy by the medical community. Good for you! Luckily my ILs are both so desperate to have a grandchild that they're allowed to spend time with that as soon as I appear to be getting annoyed at anything they do, they start backpedaling and singing my praises LOL. Thank you, crazy BIL/SIL, for making them so afraid of being cut out that they'll do anything to stay in my good graces.
Ok tell me if this is weird: the leasing agent from our apartment complex popped in unannounced to see the baby the other day. We've only lived here since May, so we're not super close with the office staff. They are really nice and I chatted with them a couple times when I was pregnant in May, but stopping by to meet the baby and see her nursery? Kinda random, if you ask me.
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