STM - I have a bedtime routine question (FTM welcome too!)

[mrsdee1982]

Charlotte is 1 month old. She still pretty much sleeps all day and is then up off and on all night. Everyone says this straightens itself out naturally around 6 weeks, so I am praying that is true. DH is actually starting his paternity leave when she is 6 weeks, so that is when we plan on implementing a routine and bedtime. We figure it will be easier to handle her for the first few days while she's adjusting if there are 2 of us home. So here's my questions:



1) What is your bedtime routine?

2) What time do you start? How long does the routine take? (i.e. Start routine at 7, baby is in bed asleep by 8)

3) How old was your babe when you started the routine? How long did it take to for baby to get used to routine?



Thank you!!!

[billyhorrible]

I'm going to go out of order - we started a bedtime routine at 3 weeks.

From 3-6 weeks when DH and I were both home whenever the baby wakes up after 5pm we'd start. I'd feed, then bath, swaddle, story, rock/cuddle to sleep. We do a bath every night, but only use soap 2-3 times a week.

At 6 weeks when DH went back to work I'd feed whenever the baby woke up after 5pm, then keep him awake until DH got home when he would take over (bath, story, bottle, rock/cuddle to sleep).

At 5 months when I went back to work I'd feed LBB when I picked him up from daycare around 5:30, then DH would do bath and story, and I'd nurse/rock/cuddle to sleep.

[Deleted]

The bedtime routine we have w LO is this:

7pm. Take LO downstairs in our room ( she doesn't have her own room yet) dim lights

-quick sponge bath. Full bath once a week.
-change diaper,put in pajamas.

715pm. Breastfeed in glider chair w graco white noise machine playing womb sounds. LO is usually asleep at end

730pm Hand to DH he burps her, swaddled her, finishes rocking her if she is still awake. He puts her in the crib. Or if DH isn't there I do the same end routine. She should be asleep in crib by 745. We really want to have good early bedtime habits now and don't ever keep her upstairs in our TV room after 7pm w loud noises so she is more relaxed and restful at night .

When she gets older we will add reading books to routine and full bath every other night instead of sponge baths but for now this is working fine for us.

[tulips114]

Also out of order...

We started it last week, LO is 3.5 weeks now. We didn't start it until about 8 weeks with DD1, but did pretty early on with DD2, around 3 weeks. Baby is used to it already, it's working well for us.

We start sometime between 7&7:30 depending what else is going on. It takes about an hour, but I've got 3 kids. When it was just DD1 it took maybe half an hour.

Basically the routine is bath, lotion, PJs, book, and song. I start it after I nurse him around 6:30/7. Most people probably end with nursing the baby to sleep, but I shoot for an eat, wake, sleep pattern in general, so I start with nursing and he goes to sleep without being nursed to sleep. I try to put him down drowsy but still awake, so that he learns to put himself to sleep. If he cries or fusses I go back in and soothe him as often as needed until he goes to sleep.

ETA we do bath every night but use soap only every 2-3 nights too.

[ombradellarosa]

I keep reading how important it is to establish a bedtime routine early and put baby down drowsy so they learn to soothe themselves to sleep. But I can't get my LO to sleep in her bassinet at all, much less go to sleep without sucking on my breast or my finger, and I have no idea what people are talking about when they talk about "bedtime" in relationship to a newborn baby. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot in regards to sleeping later--I myself was terrible at going to bed. Come to think of it, I still am. And I don't want to deal with that as a parent. But I just can't imagine how anyone does it. I feel like I'm just being dragged along and doing whatever I have to to survive the moment. I don't even have regular baths for her, her cord fell off a week ago but I really only wipe her down with a washcloth when she spits up all over herself. I want to get a normal routine but it seems so unattainable

[billyhorrible]

Jul 1, 2015 17:11:43 GMT -5 ombradellarosa said:

I keep reading how important it is to establish a bedtime routine early and put baby down drowsy so they learn to soothe themselves to sleep. But I can't get my LO to sleep in her bassinet at all, much less go to sleep without sucking on my breast or my finger, and I have no idea what people are talking about when they talk about "bedtime" in relationship to a newborn baby. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot in regards to sleeping later--I myself was terrible at going to bed. Come to think of it, I still am. And I don't want to deal with that as a parent. But I just can't imagine how anyone does it. I feel like I'm just being dragged along and doing whatever I have to to survive the moment. I don't even have regular baths for her, her cord fell off a week ago but I really only wipe her down with a washcloth when she spits up all over herself. I want to get a normal routine but it seems so unattainable

Let me address some of these:
1) routine is different than schedule (not saying you don't know this).  So the "routine" part is good because it gives the body physical and psychological cues to wind down for the night.  This is more important for some babies than others.  BH is great with bedtimes, LBB took a long time to put down at night.  The routine helped him get to sleep at a more reasonable hour.

2) drowsy but awake NEVER worked for us.  Not ever.  I'm not even bothering trying with BH because it was so frustrating with LBB.  If we tried to put him down any way but asleep he would get hysterical and it would take even longer to put him down.  Self-soothing is a psychological development not a learned one.  They all get there, no matter what active steps you take or don't take.

3) The first few weeks are all about survival.  Wherever the baby sleeps is fine.  Don't worry too much about where or forming bad habits.  You can't this early.  And the more sleep they get the better.  And the more sleep you get, the better.

4) We instituted daily baths for two reasons.  First because they were calming.  My boys loved the bath.  (LBB still does) so it was a nice, relaxing before bed activity.  Second, just as part of the routine.

[silv3rlining]

I honestly don't remember when we started a routine/time with DS. It has changed as he's gotten older (and he's not quite 2) we really followed his lead. I know when he was really little we would turn the lights off and he'd get PJs, swaddled, nurse and rock and then put in his crib.

Around 5 months or so it became extremely difficult to put him in his crib he'd wake up as soon as we got near his crib. We nursed until 14 months. We did get to a point where it was nurse, read, rock, and put in crib to go to sleep (but we did do some modified CIO). Now it's brush teeth, jammies, 4 books, and we speak a a scripture verse over him tell him we love him and kiss him good night.

With LO at this point I'm just ecstatic if we can get her in the RnP and not have to hold her all night...

[Widget123]

I don't really remember when I started a routine with DD. I am still trying to adjust DDs routine now to make it more baby friendly. I probably won't worry too much about routine for this LO for at least a few more weeks, but I'm not a fan of nightly baths so any routine will be on the simple side.

[tiffbot]

Jul 1, 2015 18:13:30 GMT -5 billyhorrible said:

2) drowsy but awake NEVER worked for us.  Not ever.  I'm not even bothering trying with BH because it was so frustrating with LBB.  If we tried to put him down any way but asleep he would get hysterical and it would take even longer to put him down.  Self-soothing is a psychological development not a learned one.  They all get there, no matter what active steps you take or don't take.

3) The first few weeks are all about survival.  Wherever the baby sleeps is fine.  Don't worry too much about where or forming bad habits.  You can't this early.  And the more sleep they get the better.  And the more sleep you get, the better.

I just want to say as a STM, YES especially to these points. And I really wish I believed it the first time around. I would get so upset at myself that I could never put DS down drowsy and have him fall asleep and would often assume I for sure was setting us all up for failure. And guess what, he's been putting himself to sleep for over a year now and even moved into a bed a few months ago. And I'm totally team newborn survival mode momma. You do what you gotta do, more sleep for you and baby makes for a much happier mom and baby! Things seem to just change, the more comfortable you get as a mom and the more your baby grows up (at their OWN pace!).

Anyway, I don't have much of my own advice to give. I just wanted to accentuate that I'm reading my own thoughts on parenting in this post, lol!

[stinybean]

Thank you for posting this mrsdee1982 I've been wondering the same thing.

[jcprn]

I started maybe a week ago with G. I think I figured out a good routine and where to fit it in during the night. He'll nurse anywhere from 7-9. Whenever that happens I'll bathe him after, bundle him up in his sleep sack ready for bed, read a book or 2, and gently rock him until he's just fallen asleep enough to put him down in the pnp. I leave our room and usually he'll wake up when I put him down or leave the room but I watch him on the monitor and he will be drowsy enough to fall back asleep on his own. I do this last part with naps too. Hopefully he'll be able to settle himself in the future easier but we're almost at 6 weeks now so I'm waiting for a growth spurt to throw this whole routine that I think we have out the window.