mrsrek10, I totally forget to check my phone at night when I'm home. People often get mad at me that I'm unreachable. Whoops. I seriously just don't think to check it or pull it out of my purse - I'm that old. I'm trying to be better. And pulling it out to take photos is helping! I rarely get texts so it just isn't that active in my life. Except during work hours.
Hell, it is because during our major developing years the phone was stationary on the wall or table. I remember getting a cordless phone as a teenager and loved not having to pull the cord around a door frame to have privacy! We can sit in our rocking chairs with our canes on our lap bitching about those young'uns together! Lol
xanthepants, I'm the same way. I often have a slew of messages or missed calls when I pull my phone out of my purse to head up to bed. We try not to have our phones out during family time - in particular when the kids are around. I still struggle with this when they're playing in the den - that's when I want to pull out my phone and check FB or chat with my girls. It saddens me to no end to see families in restaurants all with their faces down on their phones.
I really struggle with this. I'm constantly on my phone. I refuse to use it at dinner, but I've had it out today a lot and make excuses for it. I guess we call that an addiction. Hmmm. I have to make more no phone zones in my life.
Restaurants are making it even worse actually because there are a few big chain restaurants that have those little screens at the table now where you can order some food and pay and also have games to play.
There was one time we went to dinner. It was a mom, dad and son maybe 4 and a daughter probably 12. Well the mom and daughter were zoomed into their phones. The little boy was trying to get his moms attention and she wouldn't look up at him. I felt so bad for him, the dad finally gave him his phone to play with. Great "family" dinner right there.
xanthepants, I think you hit the nail on the head with the generational difference in how we view technology. I am almost 38 and I just don't think to use it to entertain JA. I also am not attached to my phone when I am home. Sometimes I actually think technology is awful and a pain in the ass. I hate hanging out with anyone who keeps playing on their phone or gadgets. I'm old.
Guess that makes me old, too, because I think you are both spot on.
We also have a "no tech at the table" rule at home and for us when we go out to eat. Even though we're all basically way past judging each other I wanted to clarify our situation. Most of the time out to eat looks like what you're talking about--chipotle or other order then sit places that don't take much time. In those situations there's no iPad or phone brought out. We also do our best to engage Robin throughout the meal, but when it's like how it was this past week--eating at nicer restaurants that are busy because it's a very touristy area, at a certain point he's just done and it's usually right in the middle of our meals, when one of us isn't able to take him for a walk. Robin is also a very slow waker from naps and still sleeps til about 5:30, and most nights we had 6:15 reservations. So that usually meant he had very little time to play/wake all the way up before being asked to sit for 1.5-2 hours.
I guess what I realized reading all the responses is that the reason I felt like the iPad was coming out a lot this week is because it was, but this was a week of atypical dining experiences for us. I agree if the iPad was coming out every time he got antsy at a restaurant he would assume he would get it all the time. I think this week made me on a high alert because we saw so many kids that were at least 8-9 and older playing on phones the whole time it made me wonder. But then again I also saw a grown man take off his flip flops and rest his bare feet on the chair next to him while he finished his beer. Sometimes it's easy to see how privilege gets handed down.
Emma doesn't yet know that my phone can have games on it. All she knows is it has pictures of her, and she likes to type in the notepad. We don't let her have it at restaurants though. I have a strict 'no phones at the table' rule, but that's more for DH than the kid! Emma loves to color so I usually bring a notepad and markers and a small toy or two. She's pretty good at eating out, but we do it a lot because I can't cook...
Stick me in the old category though, because I don't even have any games for me, much less Emma, on my phone.
We also have a "no tech at the table" rule at home and for us when we go out to eat. Even though we're all basically way past judging each other I wanted to clarify our situation. Most of the time out to eat looks like what you're talking about--chipotle or other order then sit places that don't take much time. In those situations there's no iPad or phone brought out. We also do our best to engage Robin throughout the meal, but when it's like how it was this past week--eating at nicer restaurants that are busy because it's a very touristy area, at a certain point he's just done and it's usually right in the middle of our meals, when one of us isn't able to take him for a walk. Robin is also a very slow waker from naps and still sleeps til about 5:30, and most nights we had 6:15 reservations. So that usually meant he had very little time to play/wake all the way up before being asked to sit for 1.5-2 hours.
I guess what I realized reading all the responses is that the reason I felt like the iPad was coming out a lot this week is because it was, but this was a week of atypical dining experiences for us.
We ate at a restaurant we don't normally eat at for a birthday party a couple of weeks ago. Service was SLOW. It took 2 hours to get our food and eat and that's not the norm for us. My kid was about to have a fit. The phone did come out. It doesn't normally, but I couldn't let her scream in a place full of people eating. No shame in that game. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.
Post by xanthepants on Jul 2, 2015 15:29:40 GMT -5
sarasansh, yeah I think that situation is very different. When we were in vegas eating at 9 pm (WTF fanily for those reservations!) It was let her do whatever will get us thru the meal. You are in survival mode at that point. I just don't want us to rely on it like I see a lot of families do.
xanthepants Yup. I think I just had a moment of "are we rotting our child's brain?!" panic mixed in with "He won't be like that spoiled 10 year old at the next table, right!?"
sarasansh Girl in some situations you just gotta do what works! A week, or even a few years, of phone at the table won't kill anybody It's definitely harder on vacation when things get wonky and dinner reservations take for.ev.er.
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