Tech at the table

[sarasansh]

Being on vacation this week we've gone out to dinner a lot and have been using the iPad to keep Robin entertained when he gets antsy at the restaurant. H and I were talking about what age it's reasonable to expect a kid to be able to sit through a restaurant dinner (let's say 90 minutes.)

What does everyone think?

[somethingcleverer]

8 or 9? We let them have our phones until the food comes then it's time to put it away. Mostly they are good in restaurants but if it's busy and the food is taking a while we let them have the phone. It's definitely not an automatic thing when we sit down.

[sarasansh]

I think it definitely depends kid to kid. Because Robin is a light & picky eater, food doesn't keep him entertained for long. I think as he grows and his appetite gets a little bigger that will help. Right now we try to keep him entertained other ways--coloring on the kid menu, spotting things around the restaurant, etc. for as long as we can before we pull out the tech. On a good night we only need it after the entrees come and he finishes before us. Other nights (like tonight) it came out before the salads. In my head I feel like 4/5 is old enough to be able to sit through a regular dinner. Probably a little older if we were out with a large group and dinner took 2+ hours.

[britbratjf]

Well we don't usually go out to dinner for 90 minutes with Dagny Most places we go (even sit down) we order and eat quickly and are out in 45-60 minutes. I try to not let her play with our phones too often, usually I bring a coloring book/stickers/some books with me for her to look at and she does pretty good. The longer a meal lasts the anstier she gets and the more likely we pull out our phones to let her play with. I really try and not do it often though because I kind of feel like she won't learn otherwise? I mean even at 8 or 9 if shes been used to having a phone/ipad given to keep her entertained at a restraunt then why is she suddenly going to be ok with not having those things to entertain her? We also really try and engage her in conversation and that helps too - if H and I don't include her then seh gets bored a lot quicker.

[starfishy]

We usually don't pull out a phone until he is done and we are still eating. We usually let him bring a toy with him anyway and sometimes that will keep him entertained enough.
As for age, for a normal length dinner probably 5 years old. For a loooong night 7-ish.

[mrsrek10]

I won't let JA have my phone or use the iPad.. but not because I am some goody, goody mom. It is because I use my phone and iPad primarily for work and I don't want him to think it is ok for him to mess with them. My phone and iPad have different data keeping apps and things that if he got into could cause me a headache. We aren't wealthy enough to buy him his own iPad so for now, my child is the poor, technology-less kid.

So, in a restaurant, we have found that letting him take in two small toys usually is enough for us. Generally he picks either 2 cars or a car & a book. He is also nosy and likes to people watch so he can entertain himself until the food comes and while he eats. Now, if it takes too long and he gets too antsy and tries to climb under the table to the other parent or is just being obnoxious, my DH can't take it and will take him outside to run on the sidewalk or to walk in the grassy area if there is one. JA usually comes back to the table a calmer kid and can finish dinner fine. We do eat out a lot so he really doesn't know any difference.

The age of good sitting I think totally depends on the kid. My 4 year old nephew is a quiet, introvert and can already sit for a long time but my 9 year old nephew who is loud and extroverted still doesn't sit nicely for a long dinner out unless he has his iPod to play on.

[bantyrooster]

It depends on the day and restaurant. Usually he does good people watching, coloring, talking, playing with forks. Some days we need to pull out the phone. If we need him to sit nice and quiet (super nice restaurant which us rare) we pull it out faster. Usually we are at really kid friendly places.

[heatherbee]

It depends. DS can make it through 90 minutes if we are with family that he is excited to see because they will engage with him and he has fun. If it's just me and DH, it's not as exciting and we might let him use our phones while we wait. We aren't as cool, I guess , lol. We will take him out for a walk or two if he's really antsy and that helps. I also bring little snacks for him to eat while waiting (like raisins).

[heatherbee]

Oh and my kid is totally a people watcher and he needs to talk to every single person we meet. Going out to dinner is social hour for him and he usually enjoys it. Definitely depends on the kids personality. I would never judge a parent whose kid was antsy during a 90 minute dinner though!

[somethingcleverer]

Shane is starting to learn tic tac toe and that is helping as well. Aubrey is amused by coloring and writing letters ( she tells me which letter and I write it) I feel like the last couple posts make me seem like we just throw the iPad at the kids every chance we get!

[mightybee]

D lasts maybe 10 minutes and then he can't sit still. So before the food has arrived. I usually walk him around.

Um...I really don't look forward to eating out with kids. Too much stress for me. We went out with another couple with a 1 year old recently and I ended up with salsa all over my shoe and I forgot my doggie bag! To go for me, all the way!

[laurski81]

We rarely go out to eat and since you girls know what I'm working with at my house you know why. I always let Henry bring a few small toys with him and I'll bring along some "forgotten" ones out of an old tote that we packed away because they are like new again. If the restaurant offers crayons we will try those too. Henry's isn't a fan of coloring so I never lug stuff like that from home and it's very hit or miss at the restaurant. I always go prepared with both my cell and his vtech tablet charged and ready to go. The tablet will do games and movies and my phone has this ridiculous bear app he likes. I usually wait until shits about to go down before I give it to him because even that only holds his attention for so long. Then it's him walking one of us.
So yeah...we don't go out. Like ever.

[jennmm]

DD usually does okay if the restaurant has crayons. DS is 7 and he's fine for under 2 hours. If it's really long, he gets antsy. I think it may vary from person to person. I'm 35 and I still hate waiting a long time for food, myself. Appetizers also help.

[roo1582]

Its actually rare that Kayleigh gets one of our phones to play with when we are out. I'm not really against it, but I'd just prefer not to have to rely on it. Also, it tends to be the last thing I even think of. She's not a big colorer so those don't entertain her more than 20 seconds. We usually let her bring her baby with her and I bring some of her other small toys. We're usually not at a restaurant for more than an hour though, max 90 minutes.

[jodielyn10]

Well we don't let the kids have our phones or tablets - so there's that. On rare occasions if times are desperate we'll let them look at pictures on our phones, but that's it. We generally carry in a few small toys - nothing that makes noise - but they're both happier to color on the kids menu at places that have them, or play with the silverware, etc.

[britbratjf]

Jul 2, 2015 7:00:23 GMT -5 jodielyn10 said:

Well we don't let the kids have our phones or tablets - so there's that. On rare occasions if times are desperate we'll let them look at pictures on our phones, but that's it. We generally carry in a few small toys - nothing that makes noise - but they're both happier to color on the kids menu at places that have them, or play with the silverware, etc.

Dagny LOVES taking all the sugar packets out then putting them back. That generally entertains her until the food.

[jennmm]

Jul 2, 2015 7:09:27 GMT -5 britbratjf said:

Jul 2, 2015 7:00:23 GMT -5 jodielyn10 said:

Well we don't let the kids have our phones or tablets - so there's that. On rare occasions if times are desperate we'll let them look at pictures on our phones, but that's it. We generally carry in a few small toys - nothing that makes noise - but they're both happier to color on the kids menu at places that have them, or play with the silverware, etc.

Dagny LOVES taking all the sugar packets out then putting them back. That generally entertains her until the food.

I remember stacking up all the creamer containers into pyramids when I was little and we would eat at a breakfast place or there was coffee.

[roo1582]

Kayleigh also loves to play with the sugar packets. Now she's at the age where she will either try to build towers with the stuff or she sorts them based on color.

[bliz1712]

We haven't introduced phones/tablets while out eating. And for V, we never did. We've always done the crayons, or I have some packed in case the place doesn't offer, or we play goofy games at the table. Just within the last 2 months, Hanna has become interested in playing games on our phones. But we don't do it often. Not because I don't want to or am against them, we just haven't offered them. I'm not rushing to push them on her, but if we are in a cranky mood at a restaurant I would whip it out. V didn't get her ipod until she was maybe 8 or 9. I would think the age of 6-8 would be reasonable for expecting attention at the table, but I think it's definitely based on each kid.

We look at the menu, I bring toys/snacks, we look/point at things around the restaurant, we "stack" our hands, we make a game out of lightly pounding on the table, play with the silverware, etc. Also, a majority of the time we are eating at a buffet here in town. It's just easier for the amount of food they waste and it works for us.

[junkytrunk]

Jul 2, 2015 7:00:23 GMT -5 jodielyn10 said:

Well we don't let the kids have our phones or tablets - so there's that. On rare occasions if times are desperate we'll let them look at pictures on our phones, but that's it. We generally carry in a few small toys - nothing that makes noise - but they're both happier to color on the kids menu at places that have them, or play with the silverware, etc.

M loves looking at pictures and videos of himself, so that usually entertains him if anything. I honestly don't have any kid apps on my phone because I'm cheap and don't want to pay for the good ones.

[aylafsu1881]

Jul 1, 2015 20:13:46 GMT -5 britbratjf said:

Well we don't usually go out to dinner for 90 minutes with Dagny Most places we go (even sit down) we order and eat quickly and are out in 45-60 minutes. I try to not let her play with our phones too often, usually I bring a coloring book/stickers/some books with me for her to look at and she does pretty good.


********Stuck on box********

This is what we do as well. We rarely go out to eat at sit down places. We pick the walk up and order places. It lets up get out of their in 45 minutes. The random times we do go out to eat we try to break it up with bathroom trips, coloring books, organizing sugar packets etc. It helps.

I think by 7-8ish they should be able to sit relatively calmly for an hour but that depends on the kids.

[aylafsu1881]

Jul 1, 2015 21:51:06 GMT -5 heatherbee said:

Oh and my kid is totally a people watcher and he needs to talk to every single person we meet. Going out to dinner is social hour for him and he usually enjoys it. Definitely depends on the kids personality. I would never judge a parent whose kid was antsy during a 90 minute dinner though!

Yes. We use this tactic as well. One place we eat is chipotle. We try to sit near the ordering line. E loves to watch people walk through the line and order. It keeps her distracted.

[xanthepants]

We just avoid giving her my phone at all costs. The most I will do is let her look at my pictures. I don't have a single app for her on my phone. The ipad is a special treat for vacations only. I just don't want to at this point. There I said it. I think trying to engage her while we are out is a big part of taking her out and her learning to behave when we are out. It sucks sometimes and sometimes we have to leave when she is melting down but generally we prep her, we bring some toys, we read her mood, bring snacks, face something interesting (or another kid) pick places that are sort of loud and kid friendly.

[starfishy]

Jul 2, 2015 9:32:36 GMT -5 xanthepants said:

We just avoid giving her my phone at all costs. The most I will do is let her look at my pictures. I don't have a single app for her on my phone. The ipad is a special treat for vacations only. I just don't want to at this point. There I said it. I think trying to engage her while we are out is a big part of taking her out and her learning to behave when we are out. It sucks sometimes and sometimes we have to leave when she is melting down but generally we prep her, we bring some toys, we read her mood, bring snacks, face something interesting (or another kid) pick places that are sort of loud and kid friendly.

I think you're right in a sense that if they always get the phone or whatever they don't learn to entertain themselves. There's a Daniel Tiger Episode about this.

I rarely give him my phone because I use it so much but dinner is a no phone zone. He hates to color, but usually a few Legos keeps him occupied for awhile. Our go to places are the diner, Johnny Rockets or Moes.

Our

[jodielyn10]

Jul 2, 2015 9:32:36 GMT -5 xanthepants said:

We just avoid giving her my phone at all costs. The most I will do is let her look at my pictures. I don't have a single app for her on my phone. The ipad is a special treat for vacations only. I just don't want to at this point. There I said it. I think trying to engage her while we are out is a big part of taking her out and her learning to behave when we are out. It sucks sometimes and sometimes we have to leave when she is melting down but generally we prep her, we bring some toys, we read her mood, bring snacks, face something interesting (or another kid) pick places that are sort of loud and kid friendly.

This exactly. We try to interact with them as must as possible while waiting for food because it's a family meal, not a date. 

[summergirl1211]

We also rarely go out to eat with Riley unless it's a buffet-type place. That way she can eat right away and we don't feel like we're wasting our money if she doesn't eat much (we go to the places like Pizza Ranch where you pay based on age for kids). She's also hit or miss with crayons, etc. at the table so we'd just have to play it by ear if we were in a sit down place with her.

[xanthepants]

Honestly My kid craves our attention. She always wants to know what we are talking about, wants to be part of the conversation etc. Especially at dinner. So when we are out, we make a point of trying to engage her. I guess I thought that was the point of going out together as a family. I get trying to entertain them when they are ansty and not having it (and thus the phones come out), but we really try and talk and sing quietly, play I spy or something while waiting.
Honestly while dating, my biggest Pet peeve was the guy who pulled out his phone while on a date with me instead of talking to me. It's definitely a generational thing - and I'll be the first to admit it.

[mrsrek10]

xanthepants, I think you hit the nail on the head with the generational difference in how we view technology. I am almost 38 and I just don't think to use it to entertain JA. I also am not attached to my phone when I am home. Sometimes I actually think technology is awful and a pain in the ass. I hate hanging out with anyone who keeps playing on their phone or gadgets. I'm old.

[roo1582]

Jul 2, 2015 9:32:36 GMT -5 xanthepants said:

We just avoid giving her my phone at all costs. The most I will do is let her look at my pictures. I don't have a single app for her on my phone. The ipad is a special treat for vacations only. I just don't want to at this point. There I said it. I think trying to engage her while we are out is a big part of taking her out and her learning to behave when we are out. It sucks sometimes and sometimes we have to leave when she is melting down but generally we prep her, we bring some toys, we read her mood, bring snacks, face something interesting (or another kid) pick places that are sort of loud and kid friendly.

This is how I view it too.  To me, dinner is family time.  While yes, she often misbehaves and drives me insane when we do go out, I don't want her to become accustomed to playing with the phone all the time.  You do it once and she automatically thinks its acceptable every time.  Then the fits ensue after that.  

[xanthepants]

mrsrek10, I totally forget to check my phone at night when I'm home. People often get mad at me that I'm unreachable. Whoops. I seriously just don't think to check it or pull it out of my purse - I'm that old. I'm trying to be better. And pulling it out to take photos is helping! I rarely get texts so it just isn't that active in my life. Except during work hours.