Co-sleeping/sleep in general questions...

[bookninja]

I'm at my wits end. LO went from sleeping at least a few hours at a time in her bassinet, to recently not staying down for more than 10 minutes, which obviously isn't affording me much/any sleep. I guess my question is in 2 parts... Anyone else struggling with this? What has worked?

Also, in desperation, I've been resting her on my chest, on her tummy, but with her head turned so nothing is obstructing her air. Both her and I can catch a few hours that way, and I wake if she gets twitchy. Still, it's sleeping on me, and not on her back, and I'm stressing out that it's not safe. Any co sleeping experts want to tell me if that is too dangerous to continue? It feels natural, but Im still worried.

Any help for a sleep deprived mommy?

[silv3rlining]

No real advice since that's the only way I got sleep with LO the 1st 3 weeks. She has finally slept in the RnP the past 2 nights. I'm all about survival mode. (Even if I am anti bed sharing and ate crow)

[tulips114]

I take a nap with LO on my chest almost every afternoon. I think it's fine. Do what you have to do to get some sleep.

[tiffbot]

I do side lying BFing overnight with her beside me without blankets or pillows around her. I got through DS's tough sleeping stages that way, and its once again what's giving us sleep.

I too was once anti bedsharing until I had my first lol. DS is a fantastic sleeper now all on his own.

[carolyngrace]

Most likely she will transition back to sleeping while not on you very soon! My LO's sleep preferences seem to change by the day. You have to survive, and you can't do that with no sleep, so do what you have to do!

[Deleted]

A lactation specialist I went to said the best pose for bed sharing is sidelying so basically the mom sleeps on side facing baby and baby is on back or side facing mom.

I make sure she is on the inside of the bed when bed sharing and that any sheets are below my waist and my pillow is not near her.

I feel more comfortable side lying then I do holding her when sleeping.

[silv3rlining]

tiffbot This is my 2nd (I managed to only "bedshare" with DS in the wee hours of the morning after DH was already up/gone for work)

@babybean9 I don't have problems with others bed sharing it's just not my preference. I don't sleep well with the babies even in the room with me. When we travel we typically get a suite so DS can be in his own little section. Each little noise either of us makes wakes the other.

[Deleted]

We moved P off our bed because none of us were getting any sleep. Now he' s in his RnP at the foot of the bed. He sleeps like a rock star there from 9p-1a and 1:30-3:30. And then forget it. He's just up the rest of the night. He doesn't fuss, but he's wide awake. At that point we let him back onto the bed so we can doze while holding him but no one sleeps after 3:30. DH and I alternate who stays up with him and who sleeps but we are both walking zombies at this point. DS1 was a rock star sleeper from the beginning so this is new to me. If he could please get to the next phase, where he actually sleeps, that would be great.

[Widget123]

bookninja have you tried a rock n' play? Just curious. My LO's did not like sleeping flat unless in our bed, but love the upright snug feel of the rock n' play.

[billyhorrible]

So the unsafe part of what you're doing really doesn't apply to you - mothers are instinctively not going to roll over and harm their babies. The exception is when their instincts are overridden - bad bedsharing outcomes are usually a result of mothers who are/were under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Like @babybean9 pointed out, the risks of SIDS when sleeping on your chest/tummy is not the same as in a crib on their tummy, co-sleeping in general is supposed to reduce the risk of SIDS partially because of your breathing patterns which they get the benefit of when sleeping ON you. It's also good at preventing flat head, which has become more common since "back is best" recommendation.

You really have to do what gets both of you the most sleep, whatever that is. We didn't bedshare until LBB was older - and started waking really early, but would go back to sleep for an hour or so if he was in bed with us. Or when we'd go on trips and we'd all share a bed in the hotel. Both my boys nap on my chest (or DH's chest) and often we'll nap during that time too.

[mrskblack11]

I had no intentions of co sleeping but it has been the only way for us to get any rest. The first week he would only stay asleep on my chest. Now I do side lying breastfeeding and end up falling asleep tummy to tummy. We also have a co sleeper in the middle of the bed that has a slight incline which he will now sleep in but he has to be knocked out for a bit before I can put him down in it.

I am hoping to eventually transition him into the bassinet but for now co sleeping has been working great for us and is super convenient since we are exclusively breastfeeding.

[theBeeMama]

Originally I never intended to co-sleep, but I found with DS that it was what worked for our family. He's two now and still sleeps with us every once in a while, and I love the bonding. This time around we're just going with the flow again.

Safety is so important and taking the appropriate precautions is key, of course. But there are always a million things that we as moms can worry over/that could go wrong, and at some point you just have to trust your instincts and do what works for you.

Do what gives you and your LO the best rest!

[mathistm]

Lo is 5 days old. The first night home she was in the crib across the hall and i was about to lose my shit-milk hadn't come in yet and she was crying constantly. I now almost have a hatred for our beautiful nursery because I just sat in there and cried and tried to feed her without having anything to give her literally all night. Last night i put her in the Moses basket on my night stand-stable between the bed and the wall-she's not going anywhere. That worked well-I'm hoping it will work well again tonight. I got her passed out and put her in after the first feeding of the night. She did great. If she fussed i reached over and put my hand on her and just kind of patted her. I nursed her inclined with the boppy for the other two night time feedings and she fell asleep and I was able to put her in the basket again. I'm hoping this sticks at least for a little bit!
I honestly think for the first little bit it's all about survival mode. I've read up on some co sleeping options. My family is from Sweden and they basically only co sleep.

[bruunk]

We have a co sleeper my dad built us - basically a crib that attached to the bed. He won't sleep in it long - he'd rather be on us, in my arms or in the rock n play. Early am hours I can side lie with him in my arms and he'll sleep. The last few nights baby and I slept in the living room with the rock n play (still doing 2 -2.5 hour feedings) and he slept well. In the crib he folds his legs up and the jerks awake when they relax and fall. So we will be building up to the cosleeper. I grew up in a co sleeping house, and while it makes me so nervous (DH is terrified of rolling over on him - he's a very heavy sleeper), I think we will end up that way in the end.

[mcp6286]

H did the same thing - she went down super easily the first week in her bassinet and slept in long stretches; then the second week she would only sleep on me. We're kind of in the middle now. She'll go down in her bassinet and give us a 2-3 hour stretch from like 11p-2a and then usually dream feeds and goes right back down. When she wakes up for her 4/5am feed, she's wide awake and will only go back to sleep for an extended period afterwards on my chest. So we usually move out to the couch so DH can sleep and she sleeps on my chest for a good 3 hour stretch.

It was hard to fall asleep at first because I was so scared to drop her but I've come to realize that won't happen. we have a really deep couch, which helps because I know she can't roll off me and fall. I worried about suffocating her at first but all the medical professionals I've talked to said the same as previous posters - that having her sleep on my chest is actually really good because it lessens the risk of SIDS. A lot of people have said I should make her stay in the bassinet because she has to learn to sleep independently but my feeling is that right now she's so little and the world is so new...I want her to feel safe and secure when she falls asleep. If that means a little less sleep for me, that's ok. It won't last forever. And I do love snuggling her!

[bookninja]

Thanks for all of the advice, everyone. I am feeling a little more secure in following my instinct and focusing on sleep for now, and getting used to sleeping alone/prone later.

[Deleted]

Jul 2, 2015 21:36:51 GMT -5 mcp6286 said:

H did the same thing - she went down super easily the first week in her bassinet and slept in long stretches; then the second week she would only sleep on me. We're kind of in the middle now. She'll go down in her bassinet and give us a 2-3 hour stretch from like 11p-2a and then usually dream feeds and goes right back down. When she wakes up for her 4/5am feed, she's wide awake and will only go back to sleep for an extended period afterwards on my chest. So we usually move out to the couch so DH can sleep and she sleeps on my chest for a good 3 hour stretch.

It was hard to fall asleep at first because I was so scared to drop her but I've come to realize that won't happen. we have a really deep couch, which helps because I know she can't roll off me and fall. I worried about suffocating her at first but all the medical professionals I've talked to said the same as previous posters - that having her sleep on my chest is actually really good because it lessens the risk of SIDS. A lot of people have said I should make her stay in the bassinet because she has to learn to sleep independently but my feeling is that right now she's so little and the world is so new...I want her to feel safe and secure when she falls asleep. If that means a little less sleep for me, that's ok. It won't last forever. And I do love snuggling her!

cosleeping on a couch is one of the things warned against even by the cosleeping experts.

Cause if baby does roll they may end up caught in the couch cushions-that's the worry rather than falling off..

It's better to cosleep flat on a mattress than on a couch, recliner, glider, or propped up in bed with a lot of pillows

[mcp6286]

Jul 2, 2015 23:02:49 GMT -5 @amyg said:

Jul 2, 2015 21:36:51 GMT -5 mcp6286 said:

H did the same thing - she went down super easily the first week in her bassinet and slept in long stretches; then the second week she would only sleep on me. We're kind of in the middle now. She'll go down in her bassinet and give us a 2-3 hour stretch from like 11p-2a and then usually dream feeds and goes right back down. When she wakes up for her 4/5am feed, she's wide awake and will only go back to sleep for an extended period afterwards on my chest. So we usually move out to the couch so DH can sleep and she sleeps on my chest for a good 3 hour stretch.

It was hard to fall asleep at first because I was so scared to drop her but I've come to realize that won't happen. we have a really deep couch, which helps because I know she can't roll off me and fall. I worried about suffocating her at first but all the medical professionals I've talked to said the same as previous posters - that having her sleep on my chest is actually really good because it lessens the risk of SIDS. A lot of people have said I should make her stay in the bassinet because she has to learn to sleep independently but my feeling is that right now she's so little and the world is so new...I want her to feel safe and secure when she falls asleep. If that means a little less sleep for me, that's ok. It won't last forever. And I do love snuggling her!

cosleeping on a couch is one of the things warned against even by the cosleeping experts.

Cause if baby does roll they may end up caught in the couch cushions-that's the worry rather than falling off..

It's better to cosleep flat on a mattress than on a couch, recliner, glider, or propped up in bed with a lot of pillows

Good to know! Thanks @amyg! We'll make DH sleep on the couch and take the bed from now on.

[dmoney]

We put a heating pad on the crib mattress to get it nice and warm before DD goes in for the night. She thinks it is our body heat and it helps her to fall asleep. We take the heating pad out of the crib before she goes in for the night. She has been sleeping through the night since 2 weeks old.