STM+ question

[threetaboos]

What are you doing with lo1 while in the hospital? Are you having family watch LO until you're released or will your SO go home overnight?

I'm having an RCS so will be spending at least three days/ two nights. Ds is will only be 19 months when ds2 is born. In trying to figure out logistics now since any family we ask will have to take work off if they're able. And I'm curious what other families have done.

[bunnyfungo]

Since you're having a RCS, it should be easier to plan out. Definitely have LO stay with family. I went into labor in the middle of the night and our family is over an hour away, so DD1 just went with us to L&D. Basically, she was in the room the whole time until it was time to push. Then an awesome nurse took her to get ice cream. She went home with DH and I stayed at the hospital by myself with the new baby.

I don't recommend that route lol. This time around we're hoping we can get family to step in. But you never know when labor is going to come, so we'll just do our best again.

[EatsRitz]

My SIL came to stay with DD when I went to be induced with DS. She was our on-call option too since she lives only 30 minutes away. My mom came the day after he was born since she was taking time off to come help out then anyway.

[yummeecookee]

My father is going to take DD when I go into labor- she will be just a few weeks shy of 2nd bday then.
DH will def be there through L&D but I hadn't given any thought to if he'd go home at night after baby is here. I would be ok with it so he could be w DD.

[craftytype]

It will kind of depend on whether it's a week day or weekend for us. I plan to have my DH and my mom with me during labour so I've arranged for DS to stay overnight with one of his daycare teachers. If it's on a weekend, hopefully my brother can come to my place to watch DS until my mom can take over.

I'd like DH to stay overnight with me until I'm released, so hoping it all works out.

[kelle017]

My parents live a mile away and she will stay with them. I think at least, haven't told them about the baby so I haven't asked,

If I have a rcs I will definitely need h's help so he will stay with me.

I'm not sure if dd will come to the hospital since I'm due in February (cold/flu season).

[obie1680]

My SIL will watch DS. I told DH he can go home at night if he wants to, but I know he won't want to leave the hospital unless DS is having a hard time.

[tarheelmom]

DD goes to preschool full-time, so we will just have SIL come stay for a couple of nights. After baby boy is born, DH will go visit DD in the evening before bed and in the morning before school.

Our hospitals usually don't allow any children visitors during flu season (no exceptions), so we're going to assume she can't come visit me. It's important that she see her daddy when she's not at school, but there's no reason for him to stay home while she's asleep, so he'll come back to the hospital to stay with me and help with the baby overnight.

[bunnyfungo]

Jul 2, 2015 20:15:23 GMT -5 @aditi said:

Some of the responses are making me think I'm a shit mom for wanting DH to stay with me vs. going home to put C to bed/keep up the routine.

Then the other half of me is thinking she will be 100% fine with my IL (at our house) for 1-2 nights, whereas my anxiety will not do well staying alone in the hospital.

If DH didn't have to go home because we literally had nobody else to watch DD, I would have wanted him in the hospital. I felt awful being there all by myself. We're doing the Early Home class this time so we can legally leave after 6 hours. It was that bad for me. Don't feel like your feelings are wrong!

[jumpingpuddles]

I was induced for #2 which made planning easier, but had I not been induced, we have first call to ILs who live 1.5 hours away, backup is my BFF who lives on the way to the hospital.
My H did not stay overnight, but if I was having a c-section I'd probably have him stay if at all possible. Of course you'll have nurses to help you, too, but it would be way easier to have him there IMO. This time will be trickier with 2 kids at 2 different schools, so logistically it may be challenging if I have a quick labor in the middle of the day, but I'm sure it'll work out.

[threetaboos]

Thanks for all the responses. It's definitely made me realize we'll need someone to take him overnight. I just need to figure out who in DH's family could watch him.

[chuggingwater]

Ah, crap. I guess I need to figure this out.

I lucked out last time and my sister was in town when they told me GO STRAIGHT TO THE HOSPITAL AND DO NOT DRIVE YOURSELF.

I've never went into spontaneous, so.... Maybe I'll wing it?

[Deleted]

I'm nervous about this one. My kids have never slept anywhere outside of their own house. My parents don't jump at the opportunity to watch their grandkids for a weekend, so I've never asked. I'm planning a little babymoon weekend in September, so I'm hoping they will watch the boys then. When the baby does come, they will most likely stay with my parents for a few days, or I might have a couple friends stay at my house with the boys.

I will have a c section, so I will have the boys come meet their little brother/sister when it does come. I would want them to meet their new sibling before everyone else gets to meet him/her.

[BeachBum678]

My mom works for an elementary school and will be off for Xmas break when we have our RCS. When DH and I go in to have the baby, DD1 will be out to breakfast with Mom and MIL. The hospital is about 5 minutes from our house, so we've decided that DD1 will stay home getting spoiled by her two grandmas for a few days, and DH will stay in the room with me and DD2.

[anonymouseliza]

It hasn't been formally discussed, but most likely, DD will be with my mom (thank god - she suddenly got it in her head last time that she would be there for the birth, which was surprise to me, but DD arrived before my mom did). We'll keep her schedule as normal as possible, so school if it's a school day and then she stays with my mom anyway. I expect to send DH home with DD to keep things as normal as possible, but I think that also means sending baby to the nursery a bit more to ensure I can get some sleep. If necessary, DD can stay with my mom overnight and in a real pinch, my BIL and SIL would stay with her or take her, but we've never left her with them (nothing wrong there, our schedules just never mesh well), so I think it would be disruptive for her.

@aditi, don't feel like shit. This is literally the first time I've considered that sending DH home means being alone with baby in the hospital and the thought is kind of freaking me out.

[Sparkly]

I haven't actually discussed this with them yet, but I'd like mom (and possibly dad, if he wants to) to come to our house and stay with DD while I'm in labor. My mom watches her 2 days a week, so she is fairly familiar with our house and DD's routine. We have a guest room she/they can sleep in and I think I would be most comfortable with this (over ILs or taking DD somewhere, which are the other options).

I plan for DH to go home for bedtime and to sleep while I'm in the hospital. It wasn't comfortable at all for him last time, and I think I will be okay overnight without him. It all really depends on when I go into labor... We might be at home, she might be at the nanny, who knows... theoretically my mom would just pick her up as needed, or we would wait for my parents to get there (if MOTN - they are about 25 minutes away) and then go to the hospital. They could bring DD later that day or the next day to meet the baby, and stay with her/DH for a night or two so he can go back and forth as needed.

[onyx]

My mom will be watching DS while we are at the hospital. If something happens where she cant, my MIL will keep him. Thankfully we have a lot of family around.

[countingthestars]

My last pregnancy worked out really well for us and will likely do the same this time around(will have r c/s). My parents will take both kids that first night so DH can be with me. Then depending on how long they keep me he will go home each night with our kids and come up the next morning.

[feffy]

This is actually a concern for me since any family is at least 90 mins away and the hospital is an hour in the other direction... if it comes to it, we will drop DD off at a friend's on the way. Hopefully the time of day works out.

[nonick]

For DS2's birth my mum was driving 10+ hours to watch DS1. I had her leave a day early than planned because my contractions were starting. She arrived at 9pm, I was at the hospital by 1am, and DS2 was born before lunch.
DH went home to put DS1 to bed the 2 nights I was in the hospital and to sleep. He arrived day 1 and check out day around 9ish. The "beds" for partners in my hospital were very uncomfortable and they don't have great food options for him either. We also didn't think my mum would've been very successful putting then 2 yo DS1 to bed. I was fortunate I was discharged after my VBAC after 2 nights as opposed to the 6 following a complicated c/s with DS1.
This time my mum is a long flight away so we're trying to build a bit more of a buffer in. As an emergency backup my brother is 3 hours away but the mountain roads can be treacherous in winter. I may hire a doula just in case I have to go to the hospital alone and DH stay with the kids until someone else arrives at home.

[becwheat]

DD will be with my parents the first day/night and then DH will go home with her. I actually liked being alone in the hospital for a night or two with the baby. DH can make sure DD has a parent to help her with the transition.

DH will come help me during the day, but I have nurses to help me at night and I will be doing the feeding anyway! I want him rested and DD ready for when we are home.

[Squishy622]

This is a huge worry of mine, we have no family close by. We have friends we can ask but they all have at least 2 kids and it feels like a huge imposition, especially if something happens in the middle of the night.

If I make it all the way to my delivery date, my mom will be here and it'll be fine. Otherwise my sister is 7 hours away and will hop in the car as soon as we call- we will ask friends to cover until she gets here if it's not preschool time.

[Lollipop]

I've asked my BFF to take S when I go into labour. We'll probably take him to the hospital with us and have her meet us there and either take him back to her house or keep him entertained in the waiting room, depending on how fast things are going.

I'd ask family, but none of them respect my wishes, so I needed a better plan.


And now I'm rethinking.

[bunnyfer]

I'm hoping my in laws will be staying with us around that time, so they will watch her. If I end up going early, my mom is about 2hr away, so someone can get her. She will be 2 when this LO is born

[Deleted]

We haven't officially asked, but my ILs came up last time & stayed over while we were in the hospital. I'm hoping they can do it again. Last time we were lucky.. I went into Labor on Xmas day, & everyone was at our house already anyway. She brought her bag to leave at our house so she didn't have to worry about packing at the last minute. She lives only a half hour away anyway. My FIL is retired, so worst case, he can come if it happens while she is at work or something. I usually labor at home for a while anyway & haven't had an instance of water breaking& having to leave right away or anything. So far...

[Deleted]

DD will be 4 when DD2 is born. She's staying with my in laws. It helps that Daniel Tiger's grandfather stayed with him while the mom had the baby on Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood because DD already knew she'd have to stay with someone while I was having the baby. She has had it all planned out for a while now, down to the puzzle they will do while waiting for the baby.

[threetaboos]

Thanks for everyone's responses! My MIL brought it up a couple days after I asked and offered to take him so we have a plan.