Well hello all. *PPD/PTSD Mentioned*

[thechickencoop]

Hi! I keep forgetting about this board, figured I'd intro finally. I'm thechickencoop; currently TTC #2 (heeeey GKU), H and I are in our 30's and we have a 3 yo DS.

I've always had anxiety, I was diagnosed with PPD and FINALLY medicated after I had DS, which has been wonderful.

DH is a Marine veteran and has been suffering from PTSD (not only related to his military service, but also childhood issues), which has waxed and waned over the years but lately has been getting much worse. THAT'S what I need help with. Last year he finally started meds, a combo of Seroquel at night and Lexapro during the day, which has helped a little, when he remembers to take them. But we're still having major anxiety issues and I'm getting to about the end of my rope. Now that we're coming up on 11 months TTC it's like, ok, something needs to change again, but I'm just not sure what, or how to go about it. He's very resistant to any treatments so the fact that he even started meds is kind of mind-blowing, but I just don't know how to get him to realize that they're NOT helping the way they're supposed to and what he's doing is NOT normal (not getting into too much detail, but just things associated with anxiety, hyper-vigilience, etc).

We've both been to counseling, individual and together, but it's been a while and I think I'm going to try to go individually soon again...

So does anyone else have experience with an H who suffers from PTSD/anxiety? Any suggestions for taking another step without attacking him? Because that's what it always ends up feeling like....

[runnergirl812]

Welcome to the board. While I have GAD, my BF has GAD and insomnia. He's on Zoloft and Trazadone but refuses to go to therapy. He "doesn't have time," he says.

I was able to gently nudge him to go to his own doctor about meds by talking about how much better I felt on my meds and by going to therapy. I talk about how therapy has helped me deal with issues in our lives and how I always walk out of there with a load off. By asking him if he had considered therapy - it always comes off as nagging. Always. But I've backed off from that by using the "I approach." I haven't seen results yet, but I think he's slowly coming around to the idea of seeing a therapist. He has admitted that the Zoloft and trazadone have helped him "even out."

[bocaburger]

I don't have any experience with PTSD, I just wanted to say welcome and I'm sorry your H is struggling.

[Deleted]

Welcome! I have suffered from anxiety since my early 20s. It went away for awhile, but after DS was born it came back.

Thank you to your H for his service. Your family has made an incredible sacrifice.

As for anxiety, I have found that yoga helps a ton. I know yoga isn't really a "guy" thing, but it can really help and there are a ton of videos online so he can do it in the privacy of his home. DH has actually seen how it's helped me and wants to start doing it himself. Yoga really forces you to focus on your breath and your body so it naturally gets you out of your own head and in a quieter state of mind. In addition to his meds this may help.

I think therapy is a great thing to do as well, but I know it can be difficult for you to bring it up to YH, especially when he is dealing with anxiety. Maybe open up to him about your anxieties/issues and how you are thinking of going back to therapy. Lead, and he may follow when he sees your progress. You can also have him come to a session with you after awhile.

I hope you find something that works for you and your husband finds some peace.

[yoshijo28]

I don't have experience but wanted to welcome you over here. ((Hugs))

[bocaburger]

Also, I recently watched a documentary that followed a few veterans who were being treated with acupuncture and guided medication. It helped them with their physical healing as well as their PTSD and emotional healing. May be worth a try!

[irishvodkagrl]

I don't have any advice but wanted to say I'm sorry you guys are dealing with this and I really hope you can find a solution that works for you both.

[juliayadda]

@usernameedit, you and your yoga agenda!! haha I actually took the plunge and bought a 10 class pass to a local studio! There were tons of guys there too wheee! next step is to get DH in on it!

thechickencoop, Welcome! I am not in the same PTSD boat but I do have a reluctant DH. My only approach right now is to read him articles off the internet. He hates it... but I think in the end he learns something.

I like runnergirl812,'s suggestion

[thechickencoop]

Thanks everyone

@usernameedit,not yoga, BUT, H has finally started working out again over the last maybe two months, running, weights, etc. so I'm hoping that that helps him a bit. He had gained a good chunk of weight and I know that was depressing him too (uhhh...and ya know, has lost like 25 freakin pounds already). He wouldn't join the gym with me but has been pretty dedicated at home at least!

[Deleted]

Hi thechickencoop It took a long time to convince MH to go back to therapy. He was hospitalized several times about 10 years ago, and was fearful of going back to see a psychiatrist. We hit a breaking point where I ended up telling him that I needed him to go back to counseling because I could no longer provide the level of support he needed.
He has been going again for a few months and it has helped. Being upfront was the only way that worked with H.

[Deleted]

Jul 6, 2015 18:53:09 GMT -5 juliayadda said:

@usernameedit, you and your yoga agenda!! haha I actually took the plunge and bought a 10 class pass to a local studio! There were tons of guys there too wheee! next step is to get DH in on it!

thechickencoop, Welcome! I am not in the same PTSD boat but I do have a reluctant DH. My only approach right now is to read him articles off the internet. He hates it... but I think in the end he learns something.

I like runnergirl812,'s suggestion

Oh gosh, it does sound like an agenda. Haha. It's just been so helpful for me. Really a life saver.

[icequeen]

thechickencoop, it sounds like you are one hell of an amazing wife and support for your husband through all of these challenges, even while you are experiencing your own battles with TTC and stress. I think as much as you try to be there for YH, you need to take care of yourself too. MH started going to therapy when we first starting dating 5 years ago to better handle my illness. He is not currently going, but I really think it would help you process everything that's going on with YH and how it impacts you. MH is also ex-AF and can recall vivid traumatic events, but to his and my knowledge his mental state is normal right now. When he left the service, he was in pretty bad shape mentally and physically because of a few injuries he sustained while working. It actually worked better for him to stay off meds, because he actually became addicted to them. Instead, he moved back home to be close to his family and friends and went back to school to cultivate different talents and interests. The change of pace and priorities was good for him, as he realized other goals he wanted in life such as a family, greater faith in God, and another more purposeful job.

I think getting YH into therapy would be a great move, even if he doesn't stick with it long term. It seems like he is on a downward slope and your support is not enough at this point, which is ok. You are doing all you can, but I think a therapist can give him some other ideas for support groups, coping skills, and lifestyle changes that would improve his overall health.

[Deleted]

I don't have any advice for your situation but wanted to say welcome.

[URMySunshine77]

I didn't get the chance to say welcome here. I also experience anxiety. I hope that you and YH can find the right path forward to help him with his PTSD. I think that working out is a great start.