We are thinking 2-3 years. I would like DD to be at least close to potty trained if not already, and we have to do it soon enough that my mom is still healthy enough to babysit.
Post by FlutterOfYoshis on Jul 6, 2015 9:56:19 GMT -5
Siblings on both of our sides have been about 2.5-3 years apart and we feel it worked well for us growing up--your brother/sister was close enough to enjoy playing but far enough away that you each had some individuality in school. We're planning to start trying for LO#2 a little later than this time next year.
If I were to have another, it would be close to three years. My brother and I are three years apart and I felt like that was a good gap. I remember going to visit him in the NICU.
Post by WittyLittle on Jul 6, 2015 10:01:36 GMT -5
We hope for around 18 months. Infertility runs rampage in my family so I would like to jump the gun to avoid as much as I can. My sister were supposed to be 18 months apart but we are 4 years. Growing up we fought a lot because we had nothing in common. Age had a lot to do with it. Personality of course as well.
We will probably TTC when DS is 2.5 or 3 years old. DH is absolutely convinced we should only have 2 kids. I'd like DS to be able to understand (to some extent) about the new baby, and be in or ready for pre-k of some sort.
Both of us have 2 sisters but the gaps are huge. The smallest gap is 7 years, the longest gap 18 years. We both know what it's like to have siblings that are way different ages and dont want to do that to our kids.
ETA- I should clarify that the 7 year gap is between him and his sister ant the 18 year gap is me and my sister
Post by mrsclark731 on Jul 6, 2015 10:19:46 GMT -5
My sister is three years older than me, my brother 5 years younger. In my opinion, three whole grades between my sister and I was one too many. Ideally, I want DD to be almost potty trained.
H and I were talking about it the other day and we decided not to make any certain plans or goals in regard to the next one. We both think we'll know when the time is right to try just like we did with A
Post by michelle142 on Jul 6, 2015 10:22:10 GMT -5
I'm really liking the 3-4 year spacing between DS and DD. DS is 3 years and 2 months older, and he's at an age where he willingly helps me with things and is just generally excited without being jealous of his sister.
We're ideally likely to try for a 1.5-2 year gap because of expat job concerns (insurance and length of work permit) and DH's age (38 now). At most we would have 2 more. I'm also trying to keep at least the recommended (by my doctor) time between births after the CS on the off chance that I might be able to get the VBAC or at least keep everything healed.
I'd just like to add that my sister is 6 years older than me (5 grades apart in school cause I skipped) & we're super close and get along great. That was not true when we were little kids but by the time I was in middle school we were mostly friends and by the time I was in college we were super close, even when our values/views on the world did not line up. We talk every day.
I'd just like to add that my sister is 6 years older than me (5 grades apart in school cause I skipped) & we're super close and get along great. That was not true when we were little kids but by the time I was in middle school we were mostly friends and by the time I was in college we were super close, even when our values/views on the world did not line up. We talk every day.
DH and I are really close to our siblings now that everyone is older even with all of the big gaps. Growing up, I was basically an only child. By the time I can remember my childhood (about 5 or 6), I was the only one living at home and both my sisters had 5 kids between the 2 of them. I was closer in age to my niece and nephews. It is great now though!
We ideally would have 1 grade between them in school (for instance, a 2nd grader and a 4th grader). If I were 5 or 10 years younger, we would probably space 2 to 2.5 years apart. Since I'm 30 and we want 3 or 4 kids most likely, we will start trying a bit before that. We want them to not be immediately following siblings into each grade.
I'd just like to add that my sister is 6 years older than me (5 grades apart in school cause I skipped) & we're super close and get along great. That was not true when we were little kids but by the time I was in middle school we were mostly friends and by the time I was in college we were super close, even when our values/views on the world did not line up. We talk every day.
DH and I are really close to our siblings now that everyone is older even with all of the big gaps. Growing up, I was basically an only child. By the time I can remember my childhood (about 5 or 6), I was the only one living at home and both my sisters had 5 kids between the 2 of them. I was closer in age to my niece and nephews. It is great now though!
A lot of people ask if I felt like an only child since my sister was 6 when I was born, but I never felt that way. Of course she was an only child for 6 years so she has memories of that, but Mom was also pregnant & high risk pregnant for lots of that time (1 stillbirth & 2 infant deaths & I was born at 30 weeks). And we have lots of cousins so that probably helps? I'm the youngest cousin on both sides but only by a year, and my sister isn't the oldest cousin.
DH and I are really close to our siblings now that everyone is older even with all of the big gaps. Growing up, I was basically an only child. By the time I can remember my childhood (about 5 or 6), I was the only one living at home and both my sisters had 5 kids between the 2 of them. I was closer in age to my niece and nephews. It is great now though!
A lot of people ask if I felt like an only child since my sister was 6 when I was born, but I never felt that way. Of course she was an only child for 6 years so she has memories of that, but Mom was also pregnant & high risk pregnant for lots of that time (1 stillbirth & 2 infant deaths & I was born at 30 weeks). And we have lots of cousins so that probably helps? I'm the youngest cousin on both sides but only by a year, and my sister isn't the oldest cousin.
Post by michelle142 on Jul 6, 2015 11:15:29 GMT -5
I just want to toss this out there: My brother and sister are 15 & 16 years older than me. My brother who passed when I was 2, was almost 10 years older than me.
I'd advise against those HUGE gaps if you can avoid it (unless that's what you want, of course). I was practically an only child and people would regularly assume that my sister was my Mom. I had zero relationship with my siblings until I was about 25.
I said 2-3 years. I'd like then to be close in age, but not too close.
My older sister is 5 years older and by younger sister is 2 years younger. My younger sister and I have always been closer, but I only got closer to my older sister in the lady 10 years or so. But my sisters were close and there's a 7 year gap in age.
I am thinking we want them two years apart. I thinking we will consider trying next summer.
My brother is 7 years younger than me. I highly advise against that large of an age gap. No connections until he was in high school. He is 21 now and we have a great relationship. Wish we didn't miss out on so many of those years when we were little.
Post by toadandbuggie on Jul 6, 2015 11:50:20 GMT -5
I would like 1-2 years between them because I'd like them to all grow up together.
But I'd just like to say that no matter what the spacing is, you aren't guaranteed children who will be buddies or even like each other. Even when they are older. Sad, but true. So I wouldn't worry about spacing for the sake of them being closer - if they will be then they will be whether younger or older.
I would like 1-2 years between them because I'd like them to all grow up together.
But I'd just like to say that no matter what the spacing is, you aren't guaranteed children who will be buddies or even like each other. Even when they are older. Sad, but true. So I wouldn't worry about spacing for the sake of them being closer - if they will be then they will be whether younger or older.
Both H and come from families with very space out kids and neither of us want it for our family. For me, it is less to do with being close growing up (as toadandbuggie said that is no guarantee) but more that I want to be done sooner and I don't want to go back and do diapers all over again if that makes sense. I also wish my siblings and I have kids closer in age, not that it will happen if they are closer together but it is more likely. All my kids will be the youngest on my side by several years and oldest on H's side by several years most likely.
I guess it's hard to say at this point. We'll likely start trying again around the holidays. I grew up in a family of 9 kids (19 year difference between the oldest and youngest) and I would say that, at this point, difference in age doesn't have much to do with who gets along. Now that I think about it though, the ones who don't get along now never got along (and they were relatively close in age growing up).
Post by ChickenOnSunday on Jul 6, 2015 14:14:52 GMT -5
My girls are 27 months apart. We are in the throws of toddler hell so we are damn lucky that we have an easy baby. I think life would be less stressful if we had done a bit longer spacing between the two.
Looking at 2 to 2.5 years apart. Three years as the maximum gap. I feel like age has something to do with closeness as my youngest sister and I are 4 years apart and barely interacted once I hit high school. We're still not close, but she's close to no one so I'm not bothered by it. My other sister and I are two years apart and fought all the time. Better as adults, but still not a model relationship. Alright, maybe it all comes down to personalities.
I would like DS to be potty trained or close to being ready when we have number 2. But by the time 3 years rolls around I might just be OAD. I'm also no spring chicken at 33, but I'd like to try for a VBAC so that spacing is probably best.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.