NGKUR: Parents in unsafe home
Jul 6, 2015 12:51:57 GMT -5
Post by dovahfel on Jul 6, 2015 12:51:57 GMT -5
So this is really just a probing question to see if there is anything that could actually be done, though I doubt anything could be.
My mom and my dad both have a whole host of health issues. My dad has pretty advanced neuropathy in his feet, hands, and legs from diabetes. He refuses to see his doctors and although he has moderate kidney failure, he is not taking care of himself except trying to avoid sick people. My mom has crippling memory issues as well as fibromyalgia that is apparently so bad she can't keep the house clean. Their house has been an unlivable pit for years, but up to now I just ignored it hoping it would get better.
On more than one occasion my brother, his wife, my husband, and I have deep cleaned their house and tried to get the yard at least clear of dangerous debris. It takes less than a year for it to go back to unusable. I just got back from their house and I had decided I'd deep clean the thing for them again. I worked at a feverish pace for almost 8 solid hours and only managed to get the kitchen picked up - the dishes were not able to be done because I didn't have enough time or energy (I was working in 95 degree heat so I was fatigued easily). This is what I saw during that time. (just in the kitchen)
I hauled out EASILY a pound of mice and rat feces, as well as something else I can only guess is possum feces. The area under their sink is completely saturated with rodent urine, to the point where the floor is rotten out and everything is just setting on a manufactured home foundation. There is also a solid inch of rat feces here so that I just couldn't get to because the urine smell was so strong it made me eyes water. Where they keep their food (that they still use) there is a thick buildup of rodent feces, urine, and congealed rotten food. I spent an HOUR scrubbing the shelves and I had to leave it. All their pots and pans have lays upon layers of dust, insect pupae casings, rat nesting material, and feces building up on it. I told them to throw EVERYTHING away and get new stuff, but they refuse insisting it can be sterilized. Their food bins with things like flour, beans, and grains are also filled with insect casings and animal feces. In their medicine cabinet I found things that had expired YEARS ago (like, 2005) and it was a fight and a half getting them to let me throw out powdered vitamins from 2005. Rat traps with rotten food are everywhere, the counters were under a thick skin of congealed coffee, and this is just the kitchen.
The rest of the house is worse. Most of the home is unaccessable. There are trails through the junk to the various (but limited) things they do in a day. Mom makes crafts with chewed on fabric that has urine stains on it from mice. She sleeps on a bed that is covered in filth, as does my dad. The front porch is wobbly and unstable, there are 2 holes in the living room floor where my mom has fallen through the floor. (these holes are 2-3 years old) There are literal holes in the side of the house covered by plywood. The yard is overgrown, there are no less than 8 broken down vehicles, 2 toilets, a bathtub that is 10 years old, and a garage that is completely full of junk (like, you can't even enter the nearly 1000 sq. foot thing. It's huge.)
My parents have food poisoning regularly from eating rotten food, and when I try to tell them that their house is unlivable they get extremely upset. I can't afford to hire them a maid or in-home care, not that I think they'd accept it. And after this weekend of hours of scrubbing rodent waste, I'm legitimately afraid for my health if I do that again. Besides, as I was cleaning a shelf, the whole thing came down on me and landed me with a huge bump on the head and a few broken dishes.
Though we haven't always gotten along, I do love and care about my parents. They seem to think they have only a year or two left to live, but I don't think that's true. I think their house is killing them fast, and I am legitimately scared that they are going to catch deadly diseases from the home, the thing is going to fall in on them fatally, or there will be a fire (mom uses lots of candles and heat in very compromising situations) and they won't be able to get out of the house.
Is there anything at all I can do?
ETA: my parents are both in their 50s. Dad just retired and since he did things have only gotten worse. They insist they are fine, and my dad has said on several occasions that if anyone tries to come into his home and tell them it's unsafe, he'll chase them out with a gun...obviously there are mental health issues here, too.)
My mom and my dad both have a whole host of health issues. My dad has pretty advanced neuropathy in his feet, hands, and legs from diabetes. He refuses to see his doctors and although he has moderate kidney failure, he is not taking care of himself except trying to avoid sick people. My mom has crippling memory issues as well as fibromyalgia that is apparently so bad she can't keep the house clean. Their house has been an unlivable pit for years, but up to now I just ignored it hoping it would get better.
On more than one occasion my brother, his wife, my husband, and I have deep cleaned their house and tried to get the yard at least clear of dangerous debris. It takes less than a year for it to go back to unusable. I just got back from their house and I had decided I'd deep clean the thing for them again. I worked at a feverish pace for almost 8 solid hours and only managed to get the kitchen picked up - the dishes were not able to be done because I didn't have enough time or energy (I was working in 95 degree heat so I was fatigued easily). This is what I saw during that time. (just in the kitchen)
I hauled out EASILY a pound of mice and rat feces, as well as something else I can only guess is possum feces. The area under their sink is completely saturated with rodent urine, to the point where the floor is rotten out and everything is just setting on a manufactured home foundation. There is also a solid inch of rat feces here so that I just couldn't get to because the urine smell was so strong it made me eyes water. Where they keep their food (that they still use) there is a thick buildup of rodent feces, urine, and congealed rotten food. I spent an HOUR scrubbing the shelves and I had to leave it. All their pots and pans have lays upon layers of dust, insect pupae casings, rat nesting material, and feces building up on it. I told them to throw EVERYTHING away and get new stuff, but they refuse insisting it can be sterilized. Their food bins with things like flour, beans, and grains are also filled with insect casings and animal feces. In their medicine cabinet I found things that had expired YEARS ago (like, 2005) and it was a fight and a half getting them to let me throw out powdered vitamins from 2005. Rat traps with rotten food are everywhere, the counters were under a thick skin of congealed coffee, and this is just the kitchen.
The rest of the house is worse. Most of the home is unaccessable. There are trails through the junk to the various (but limited) things they do in a day. Mom makes crafts with chewed on fabric that has urine stains on it from mice. She sleeps on a bed that is covered in filth, as does my dad. The front porch is wobbly and unstable, there are 2 holes in the living room floor where my mom has fallen through the floor. (these holes are 2-3 years old) There are literal holes in the side of the house covered by plywood. The yard is overgrown, there are no less than 8 broken down vehicles, 2 toilets, a bathtub that is 10 years old, and a garage that is completely full of junk (like, you can't even enter the nearly 1000 sq. foot thing. It's huge.)
My parents have food poisoning regularly from eating rotten food, and when I try to tell them that their house is unlivable they get extremely upset. I can't afford to hire them a maid or in-home care, not that I think they'd accept it. And after this weekend of hours of scrubbing rodent waste, I'm legitimately afraid for my health if I do that again. Besides, as I was cleaning a shelf, the whole thing came down on me and landed me with a huge bump on the head and a few broken dishes.
Though we haven't always gotten along, I do love and care about my parents. They seem to think they have only a year or two left to live, but I don't think that's true. I think their house is killing them fast, and I am legitimately scared that they are going to catch deadly diseases from the home, the thing is going to fall in on them fatally, or there will be a fire (mom uses lots of candles and heat in very compromising situations) and they won't be able to get out of the house.
Is there anything at all I can do?
ETA: my parents are both in their 50s. Dad just retired and since he did things have only gotten worse. They insist they are fine, and my dad has said on several occasions that if anyone tries to come into his home and tell them it's unsafe, he'll chase them out with a gun...obviously there are mental health issues here, too.)
