**-- Weekly Goals Check In: 7/6/15 --**

[icequeen]

Hi ladies,

Hope y'all had a nice holiday weekend. Here is our weekly goal setting thread, so please feel free to update us on how everything is going with your current goals and set some new goals following the format below, if you like. Please also be sure to include any trigger warnings you feel are appropriate. Thank you

Goal:
Short or long term?
Why is it important?
How am I going to accomplish it?

[irishvodkagrl]

Goal: Get a better handle on my fibro pain management

Short or long term? Short term

Why is it important? My physical pain seriously impacts my mental status and outlook in a really negative way.

How am I going to accomplish it? I have a new drug regiment I am trying and an appointment with a new dr next week.

[yoshijo28]

**ED mentioned**

Last week's goal was to not binge during the holiday weekend. I accomplished this. I only had 3 chips and a bite of DH's cake at the inlaws. And I only had the 3 chips because I was so hungry I felt weak. When I feel like that I get anxious that others can see I dont feel well and need to have something to feel better mentally.

New goal: create a training document this week for work
Short or Long term: short
Why is it important: we have a class scheduled next week and my trainer is counting on me to write the training material

New goal: not work out on Wednesday
Short or long term: short
Why is it important: up until recently I gave my body a break from working out on Wednesdays. Last week I did 50 minutes of easy cardio but it was still exercise. I need to give my body a break but I feel the urge to do some type of activity, especially because I need to keep the last few lbs off before my trip

eta: how am I going to accomplish it: my sister is coming over after work so hopefully I won't have time to think about it 

[yoshijo28]

Jul 6, 2015 15:01:48 GMT -5 irishvodkagrl said:

Goal: Get a better handle on my fibro pain management

Short or long term? Short term

Why is it important? My physical pain seriously impacts my mental status and outlook in a really negative way.

How am I going to accomplish it? I have a new drug regiment I am trying and an appointment with a new dr next week.

I really hope you're able to manage your pain better and your doctor appointment goes well. It really does have such an impact on your mental health.

[icequeen]

irishvodkagrl, I can imagine being in physical pain feels terrible and cannot possibly make you want to smile or put on a happy face. The new regimen sounds promising and I hope it works out for you!

yoshijo28, having one rest day a week is so important and I am beginning to realize that too. We can work on this one together. My rest day is Sundays

**Trigger: ED behaviors**

My goals last week were to maintain my weight or gain a few lbs by my July 17th OB appointment and to eat 4 cheat meals. I am pretty sure I am maintaining my weight but I won't be sure until the appointment since I don't weigh at home. My second goal was to eat 4 cheat meals, which I was able to accomplish as well. This is particularly good for me because I still had my cheat meals and didn't work out on Sunday, which was unplanned. This week my goals are:

Goal 1: To have a non ED day on a week day (I chose Thursday).
Short or long term? Short term
Why is it important? So far I have only been able to manage not binging and purging on the weekend, so I want to try a week day now and push myself more. It is harder for me during the week because MH isn't home all day and I'm more susceptible to using behaviors. During the weekends he is a big support.
How am I going to accomplish it? Take pics of my meals and send them to my mom and sis because it helps with my accountability.

Goal 2: Eat out at a restaurant 3 times this week
Short or long term? Short term
Why is it important? I'm usually scared of restaurant food because I don't know exactly what the calories are and I overanalyze what I'm eating. I want to be able to eat a scary menu item and not think about it for the rest of the day.
How am I going to accomplish it? Have someone supportive like MH or my mom come with me.

Goal 3: Take a rest day from exercise on Sundays
Short or long term? Long term
Why is it important? My body needs to rest and use the calories to feed my baby instead of being burned out by running.
How am I going to accomplish it? Not set my alarm for usual morning workout.

[juliayadda]

Trigger warning: Binge eating discussed *******


Goal: Eat like a French Person (ELAFP)

Short or long term? Long term

Why is it important?
Last week I spoke about my recent realization that I was binge eating. Well I have been doing a lot of inner searching and found a strategy to help curb this. Principles of ELAFP include taking time to eat your food, preparing real food, and reasonable portions. These are principles I think could help me. ELAFP also is indulgent, and not about restriction. Wine is good, cheese is good, butter is good, bread is good. Just dont eat only those four things!

How am I going to accomplish it?
I found some online resources for this. Basically every time I plan my meals for the day, I will pose the question: is this inline with ELAFP?

Goal: Yoga
Short or long term?
Short

Why is it important?
Inner peace, fitness.

How am I going to accomplish it?
I bought a 10 week pass to supplement my Wednesday free Yoga. I will accomplish this goal by using my 10 class pass in the next ten weeks

When Wednesday free yoga ends I will see about modifying this goal.

[juliayadda]

irishvodkagrl, I hope you get some relief.

yoshijo28, good luck on Wednesday.

icequeen, I kinda feel like your goals are stacked this week. I believe you can do it, and i am only a PM away if you need a cheerleader.

I am concerned that if you eat three restaurant meals it may trigger purging. Do you have a strategy to help you with the time after eating these meals? Will you still have a normal meal for the meals prior to and after? I really think this is a goal that is pushing you out of your comfort zone and I like that. I dont want you to feel like a failure if you dont get all 3 in though.

[icequeen]

Jul 6, 2015 19:27:20 GMT -5 juliayadda said:

irishvodkagrl, I hope you get some relief.

yoshijo28, good luck on Wednesday.

icequeen, I kinda feel like your goals are stacked this week. I believe you can do it, and i am only a PM away if you need a cheerleader.

I am concerned that if you eat three restaurant meals it may trigger purging. Do you have a strategy to help you with the time after eating these meals? Will you still have a normal meal for the meals prior to and after? I really think this is a goal that is pushing you out of your comfort zone and I like that. I dont want you to feel like a failure if you dont get all 3 in though.

juliayadda, you read my mind. I was thinking about this last night as I was writing an email to my mom about my plans for this trip. I really wanted her to see I wanted to plan out the days I was there so I would have as little triggers as possible. I think you are right about making these goals a little less lofty. I was already thinking that even if I did eat more while at the restaurant I could *maybe* workout twice a day. I don't want to get into that cycle. I think I will cut down my restaurant goals to 2 instead of 3. Thank you for grounding me

[bocaburger]

I failed at all my goals last week, but I'm starting fresh.

Goal: Go to bed before midnight every night
Short or long term? Both
Why is it important? I need to be well-rested and stay on a fairly regular sleep schedule in order to be healthy and keep my hormones regulated. Since I have to wake up early some days, I need to adjust by starting to go to bed earlier.
How am I going to accomplish it? When I get home, think through everything that needs to be done before bed and get it done as soon as possible. Start getting ready for bed by 11:30, no excuses.

Goal: Yoga twice a week
Short or long term? Short term
Why is it important? Yoga is a challenging, full-body workout that decreases my anxiety. I have only been doing it around once a week and the classes are challenging. It decreases my confidence when I can't do as much as the other people there. The more frequently I go, the easier it will get for me.
How am I going to accomplish it? Plan it into my schedule in advance.

Goal: Plan and cook meals
Short or long term? Long term
Why is it important? This is one of my biggest challenges. I have a lot of anxiety about every step of the process, especially the grocery shopping. It is important because I need to help out more around the house and we need to be eating healthier meals.
How am I going to accomplish it? Ask H to help me with creating the shopping list (at least at first). Plan to get groceries in the morning when the stores are less crowded.

[bocaburger]

Well I already failed my first goal, since it's 12:30 and I just got into bed...

Adding one more.

Goal: Clean the apartment by the time I go to bed on Thursday.
Short or long term: short
Why: Because it's an absolute pigsty and it's disgusting and embarrassing. And because I am happier and more relaxed when it's clean.
How: Stop making excuses and just do it!!! Plan it into Thursday's schedule.

[rae80407]

Jul 7, 2015 23:34:48 GMT -5 bocaburger said:

Well I already failed my first goal, since it's 12:30 and I just got into bed...

Adding one more.

Goal: Clean the apartment by the time I go to bed on Thursday.
Short or long term: short
Why: Because it's an absolute pigsty and it's disgusting and embarrassing. And because I am happier and more relaxed when it's clean.
How: Stop making excuses and just do it!!! Plan it into Thursday's schedule.

bocaburger, you haven't "failed" you just haven't met your goal as entirely as you would have liked. (((Hugs))) I'm the same way. I know I need to go to bed early so I can get up and get things done with an amount of sleep I need. I am definitely more stressed and anxious with less sleep.

As for cleaning your house I will be your goal buddy if you'd like. I felt like I was reading my own post. My house was on it's way to neat then I had that huge blow up this weekend and now I have clothes everywhere, well everything everywhere. Dishes for days. It needs to be done badly. Looking at it depresses me and stresses me. It reminds me of the fight and as such I've just been avoiding it. I will definetly join you on the Thursday night goal. Let me know how you do.

[bocaburger]

Thanks, rae80407! Goal buddies sounds great. I was also doing pretty well at keeping the house neat and then I let my pity party take over and didn't clean at all. We have fruit flies, it's so gross.

[juliayadda]

Jul 8, 2015 5:51:25 GMT -5 bocaburger said:

Thanks, rae80407! Goal buddies sounds great. I was also doing pretty well at keeping the house neat and then I let my pity party take over and didn't clean at all. We have fruit flies, it's so gross.

Pour a cup of vinegar down your drains to kill their eggs

[yoshijo28]

icequeen you continue to make me proud every week girl! I know it was scary to eat a cheat meal and not work out especially when you had a plan in your head for Sunday. good luck with your non ED day tomorrow, I'm here if you need me. Restaurants are scary for me sometimes too but I know you're going to do great this weekend

juliayadda the ELAFP principles sound interesting. I think that's a great goal and it seems to incorporate variety and enjoying food which will hopefully help curb the urge to binge

bocaburger I have similar anxiety about grocery shopping. Is there anyway for YH to go with you? We shop together so that helps. I give you major credit for going to do yoga. I could never bring myself to do a group class because I'm too self conscious to do that in front of others since I don't really know what I'm doing . I think that regardless of how experienced you are, it's great that you're willing to go more often to learn and get better at it

[bocaburger]

Jul 8, 2015 18:40:57 GMT -5 yoshijo28 said:

bocaburger I have similar anxiety about grocery shopping. Is there anyway for YH to go with you? We shop together so that helps. I give you major credit for going to do yoga. I could never bring myself to do a group class because I'm too self conscious to do that in front of others since I don't really know what I'm doing . I think that regardless of how experienced you are, it's great that you're willing to go more often to learn and get better at it

That's a good idea.  We went together a few weeks ago and it was much better.  I got really anxious in the produce section (too many options + too many people + not enough space) and had to move to the side to breathe through it.  He took care of the produce and then we did the rest together.  It's hard though, we don't have as much time together as we would like and don't really want to spend it all at the grocery store fighting off my anxiety!

It's kind of nice to hear that you also have anxiety about grocery shopping.  I'm always really embarrassed to tell people that I'm 26 years old and can't go to Trader Joe's without significant anxiety!  It got to the point where H was doing it almost entirely on his own, even though he's busier than me, and it really wasn't fair.  My eventual goal is to be able to take care of our food needs myself most weeks, but I'm so far from that point right now.  Having him come with me might be a good middle step while I work towards that.

[icequeen]

juliayadda, I really like the ELAPF principle. It seems like it has a really good balance of all the foods you love so you don't feel deprived. I think the portions would be the most challenging, but I think if you plate your food ahead of time and put everything else away, it might help.
bocaburger, you're still doing great and you set up a lot for yourself to tackle this week. Don't get too upset if not everything goes smoothly, I have the same problem with beating myself up! Having YH go with you is an awesome idea. You can make even make your grocery list according to where the foods are in the store, like I do. I list all the produce and fruit together, frozens together, dairy, etc. That way I can get through each section of the store more efficiently.

[juliayadda]

Jul 8, 2015 21:10:22 GMT -5 icequeen said:

juliayadda, I really like the ELAPF principle. It seems like it has a really good balance of all the foods you love so you don't feel deprived. I think the portions would be the most challenging, but I think if you plate your food ahead of time and put everything else away, it might help.
bocaburger, you're still doing great and you set up a lot for yourself to tackle this week. Don't get too upset if not everything goes smoothly, I have the same problem with beating myself up! Having YH go with you is an awesome idea. You can make even make your grocery list according to where the foods are in the store, like I do. I list all the produce and fruit together, frozens together, dairy, etc. That way I can get through each section of the store more efficiently.

#truth about the portions also am not feeling hungry but I am resisting the urge binge , which now that I recognize it, is so persistent in my day! When I poor my kids cereal, when he doesn't finish his food. After dinner today, I had to stop myself from mindlessly eating.

[rae80407]

Jul 8, 2015 5:51:25 GMT -5 bocaburger said:

Thanks, rae80407! Goal buddies sounds great. I was also doing pretty well at keeping the house neat and then I let my pity party take over and didn't clean at all. We have fruit flies, it's so gross.

I definetly get those every now and then in the summer. My fi jokes (badly) that they are our pets. :/ How's it going tonight? Were you able to get any cleaning done? What about your going to bed early?

I cleaned absolutely nothing today. Infact, I avoided it to the point that I mostly sat outside not to look at it until my fi got home, and then we left. Tomorrow I will crack down and get it done (I hope) it's not even like we have a big apartment, although I kinda think that makes it dirty faster. I hope things are going better on your end.

Thanks for the tip juliayadda about the fruit flies. I get them too and it seems to take forever until they die and go away.

[bocaburger]

Jul 9, 2015 0:48:32 GMT -5 rae80407 said:

Jul 8, 2015 5:51:25 GMT -5 bocaburger said:

Thanks, rae80407! Goal buddies sounds great. I was also doing pretty well at keeping the house neat and then I let my pity party take over and didn't clean at all. We have fruit flies, it's so gross.

I definetly get those every now and then in the summer. My fi jokes (badly) that they are our pets. :/ How's it going tonight? Were you able to get any cleaning done? What about your going to bed early?

I cleaned absolutely nothing today. Infact, I avoided it to the point that I mostly sat outside not to look at it until my fi got home, and then we left. Tomorrow I will crack down and get it done (I hope) it's not even like we have a big apartment, although I kinda think that makes it dirty faster. I hope things are going better on your end.

Thanks for the tip juliayadda about the fruit flies. I get them too and it seems to take forever until they die and go away.

Ugh, I'm not doing to well on my goals either. Last night I didn't go to bed until after 1am. I had planned to get up early this morning and clean, but since I went to bed so late I couldn't do that. My whole morning got away from me and now I have to leave and I haven't cleaned at all. I hate when I do this.

Let's make a game plan for success so that we both have clean apartments by the time we go to sleep tonight. My plan is to make it my project of the evening. I will start right away when I get home and I won't watch any tv or do anything else until it's done.

I need yo:
- fold and put away laundry
- tidy the living room
- sweep
- clean the bathroom, especially the toilet
- take out the recycling
- make the bed

I might cut myself some slack and leave the kitchen for tomorrow since I really, really hate dishes and if I have that hanging over me I may not do any of it.

rae80407, what's your game plan? We'll check back in before bed to share how we did!

[rae80407]

Well bocaburger, I didn't clean a damn thing, buuuut I did do a lot of self reflection and some research to help with my anxiety and depression issues that I'm hoping will get me motivated and on the ball tomorrow's. No excuses! I'm gonna turn my music on and clean until its done so I can relax this weekend and start working on me.
My goal to finish tomorrow is:
-clean the living room
-clean the glass on the coffee table and wood
-do the wretched dishes (all of them)
-clean the kitchen counters
-sweep and mop
-clean the bathroom (sadly the cleanest part of my house at the moment lol)
-organize my bedroom
-make the bed
-relax

How did it go for you today? Did you get things cleaned up? Even if it's a little done that's something to be proud of and if not, at least it will be done before the weekend! Did you make it to bed early? I need to start trying that out but my fi doesn't get home until late and that's the time we spend together. I really should because the difference in my mood, mind state and anxiety is amazing when I get more sleep as opposed to less.
Hope all went well!

[bocaburger]

rae80407, I'm glad you took some time for self reflection and research so that you have more motivation moving forward. Good luck today!

I actually did it! I didn't finish everything but it definitely looks the best it has all week. I will work on it a little more today.

So far I have not made it to bed on time even once. I need to figure out how to motivate myself better for that one.

[icequeen]

bocaburger, rae80407, sometimes I find myself pushing my bedtime further and further behind because I get caught up doing things I should have done during the day. Maybe if you balanced your daytime tasks out a little more or get some additional help from YH's, it might be more feasible for you to not pile everything towards the evening. I have a planner that I write in every day with all my chores and activities and cross them off as I go ad it helps me time manage. GL y'all, it's not easy!

[bocaburger]

Jul 10, 2015 16:53:36 GMT -5 icequeen said:

bocaburger, rae80407, sometimes I find myself pushing my bedtime further and further behind because I get caught up doing things I should have done during the day. Maybe if you balanced your daytime tasks out a little more or get some additional help from YH's, it might be more feasible for you to not pile everything towards the evening. I have a planner that I write in every day with all my chores and activities and cross them off as I go ad it helps me time manage. GL y'all, it's not easy!

I definitely do that. My problem is that I am naturally a night person. I have trouble getting started and being efficient early in the day, and often get a second wind before bed. I've been trying to become more of a morning person for a long time, but it's hard to fight your body's natural rhythm.

[icequeen]

Jul 10, 2015 17:46:21 GMT -5 bocaburger said:

Jul 10, 2015 16:53:36 GMT -5 icequeen said:

bocaburger, rae80407, sometimes I find myself pushing my bedtime further and further behind because I get caught up doing things I should have done during the day. Maybe if you balanced your daytime tasks out a little more or get some additional help from YH's, it might be more feasible for you to not pile everything towards the evening. I have a planner that I write in every day with all my chores and activities and cross them off as I go ad it helps me time manage. GL y'all, it's not easy!

I definitely do that. My problem is that I am naturally a night person. I have trouble getting started and being efficient early in the day, and often get a second wind before bed. I've been trying to become more of a morning person for a long time, but it's hard to fight your body's natural rhythm.

Yeah, I get you. I am the opposite. I HAVE to get up early and get everything going right away because otherwise I feel the world is moving on without me. So weird. At night time I prefer to veg out on TCF