UGH Grandma/Grandpa (rant thread)

[FlutterOfYoshis]

RANT AWAY HERE! Let's commiserate!

UGH Grandma,

Just because you text me everyday with a million questions does not mean I'm obligated to answer you. It does not help when you make passive-aggressive posts on FB either. I know you're posting about me when your friends don't. It makes me want to answer you even less than I already do.

Sincerely,
Your independent and annoyed daughter

[mands1125]

My vent lately is how MIL thinks she knows everything about "sleep training". She says she just let DH cry in his crib for 15 minutes straight one day and the next day, he was a perfect sleeper. I told her that I was not going to just let her CIO with the door shut and ignore her. Sorry.

I said something like, well maybe I need to make the room darker for naps. She was like, NOPE that has nothing to do with anything- babies will sleep anywhere, at any time. It never occured to her that my 4 1/2 month old might be different and need a dark room free of distractions to sleep. UGH

[mmarie]

I love my mom and MIL but they both drive me nuts sometimes. My mom is here more than I would like. Don't get me wrong the help is great but she is constantly telling me what I should be doing different.

My MIL doesn't get to se DD as much and I think she gets jealous. It really doesn't help that when the 2 of them are together with DD, my mom hoards her.

[miniwheat]

My vent is that my parents are so kid and baby stupid, that I am surprised I survived to adulthood.

I don't let my parents babysit and they always try and dig out of my why. I wish I was ballsy enough to provide them with my Top 10 List:

1) You told me "You don't do diapers" and you rarely change LO's diapers. FYI- He will poop when I am not home too you know.
2) You never wash your hands or the kids hands after you/they cough/sneeze, eat, come home from the store.
3) You gave my then 2 year old a whole (not cut up at all) hotdog for lunch.
4) You swear too much.
5) You can't put down your cell phone, even if there is a 5 alarm emergency happening all around you, you need to check your texts.
6) You have been a grandparent for 3 years now and you still can figure out how to buckle, unbuckle or install a carseat.
7) You forget about meal and nap times
8) You forget to put on their sunscreen and hats before we go outside.
9) You refused to baby proof your house because you didn't baby proof when you had kids, why start now.
10) When the kids don't want to do something, you try and make them feel guilty like they have disappointed you.

But usually I just said "I don't need any help, thanks". Ugh.

[WittyLittle]

MIL stop singing this stupid song to DS. It's annoying, and you sing it to him through skype at least three times a day. It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

[emilyz320]

We're having a hard time getting my mil to babysit at all. I asked her a few times over my maternity leave and she said no every time, so I stopped asking. Then one time we asked her to babysit so we could go to the movies (15 mins from our house) and she would only do it if we brought the baby over to her house (20 minutes in the opposite direction of our house and the movies), or let her pick up dd and bring her back (which would require taking out the car seat). We decided it was too much trouble for just a movie date and she told me I was being silly. We don't even ask anymore. So frustrating, especially because I thought we were super close and she drives over an hour every week to see my sil's kids (and frequently babysits for them at their house!) I could probably count on my hands the number of times she has made an effort to spend time with dd.

[dreemkin]

My parents watch my girls when I work pt. I am greatful but they do things I ask them not to: don't rinse out bottles after use, leave the recliner up on the couch just s little grrr, put dirty diapers in the (largely labeled) recycling bin.

[mmarie]

MIL thinks that if DD cries, she has to hungry. It's not because she doesn't want to be held anymore. Also, when DD rubs her eyes, she just has an itch, it's not because she is tired

[misshart00]

I'm convinced that everyone who is not the mother of an infant thinks that crying = hunger.

[mmarie]

My mom talks about DD like she is her daughter to everyone. Strangers, family, friends, everyone.

[taberbtb]

Jul 7, 2015 11:55:11 GMT -5 misshart00 said:

I'm convinced that everyone who is not the mother of an infant thinks that crying = hunger.

I am in total agreement with you. Why must you insist on feeding a crying baby, who ISN'T hungry and screw up their eating schedule for the day?

[cougarette]

So when we got to the house DH mentioned that DS had a stomach bug (which we found out about the day before). MIL was all upset that she didn't know sooner. She said, "I didn't know he was sick". To which I said, "I didn't either". Ugh. Why does she think she has to know everything about him?

She has actually said the words "grandparents rights". Excuse me, bitch? How about respect the parents' wishes? Grandparents don't have any rights as far as I'm concerned.

My mom has actually told mil that no, it is actually not the job of grandparents to spoil the kids.

[cougarette]

Jul 7, 2015 11:55:11 GMT -5 misshart00 said:

I'm convinced that everyone who is not the mother of an infant thinks that crying = hunger.

YES

I'm starting to wonder if my niece was one of those babies who really only cried if she was hungry and that's what mil is used to.

But see, that gets me thinking there's something wrong with my son or that I'm doing something wrong. But if mil could just offer real help and support it would be so much better.

[misshart00]

Jul 7, 2015 12:12:50 GMT -5 cougarette said:

Jul 7, 2015 11:55:11 GMT -5 misshart00 said:

I'm convinced that everyone who is not the mother of an infant thinks that crying = hunger.

YES

I'm starting to wonder if my niece was one of those babies who really only cried if she was hungry and that's what mil is used to.

But see, that gets me thinking there's something wrong with my son or that I'm doing something wrong. But if mil could just offer real help and support it would be so much better.

I think it's just because it's one of those things they (whoever is talking) can't take care up, especially if BFing. They can give a paci, or rock, or whatever, but when a baby is seemingly inconsolable, it's logically the only thing they haven't tried.

I hope that makes sense. It did in my head.

[FlutterOfYoshis]

WittyLittle My mom does the same--sings this terrible song over and over like a broken record to DD. It's terrible.

mmarie Just for this brief time, I like to think if DD belongs to anyone it's me and DH. It gets under my skin when my mom refers to her as "our little girl".

[hollydfromtn]

Jul 7, 2015 12:00:04 GMT -5 mmarie said:

My mom talks about DD like she is her daughter to everyone. Strangers, family, friends, everyone.

Ugh...this. MIL always says things like "there's my baby" and she always asks DS in that baby voice "whose baby are you? That's right you're mamaw's baby." I always pipe up and say he's a momma's boy. It drives me crazy.

[miniwheat]

Jul 7, 2015 12:10:40 GMT -5 cougarette said:

She has actually said the words "grandparents rights". Excuse me, bitch? How about respect the parents' wishes? Grandparents don't have any rights as far as I'm concerned.

Oh hell no! My parents have tried that on me too. My mom actually thinks that grandparents have a say as to how grandkids should be raised and how often they see grandparents. You have no rights to my children, those are my choices to make. Man, this thread fires me up!

[wimcgrath]

Jul 7, 2015 12:24:52 GMT -5 hollydfromtn said:

Jul 7, 2015 12:00:04 GMT -5 mmarie said:

My mom talks about DD like she is her daughter to everyone. Strangers, family, friends, everyone.

Ugh...this. MIL always says things like "there's my baby" and she always asks DS in that baby voice "whose baby are you? That's right you're mamaw's baby." I always pipe up and say he's a momma's boy. It drives me crazy.

This. My MIL is always talking about her baby and how when we leave their house she says "you're taking my baby away!" Annoys the crap out of me.

[mommadozer]

Jul 7, 2015 11:55:11 GMT -5 misshart00 said:

I'm convinced that everyone who is not the mother of an infant thinks that crying = hunger.

Or chewing on their hands means they are hungry. Um no, if that was the case, the child would be eating all day long.

[mommadozer]

cougarette grandparent rights.... What?! Uh no, no, no and NO.

@hollydfromytn ummmm. Does she not know what she is literally saying. It's GRANDbaby lady!

My ILs seriously keep track of how many times my parents get to see DS. they get all upset when they see him more. That's great and all that you want to see him but, they pout about it. Last time I checked 50 year olds don't pout.

ETA: damn autocorrect

[lilyelayne]

Less of a rant, more of a funny:
My parents always make a huge deal when DS makes his pouty face, especially my dad. He gets excited "let me see that big lip!" Okay, it's a cute pouty face, but this is weird amounts of excitement.
Yeah, I was a pouty tantrumy little kid. He gets his pout from me. I finally figured out my parents are excited I'm gonna get some pouty payback haha.

[agm04]

omg yes to this thread. already mentioned: baby must be hungry if she cries, MIL is a sleep training expert (no lie, got into an argument with my in laws when DD was 6 weeks old because I refused to put her down at their house - a strange place - and leave her to cry until she slept), baby rubbing her eyes means she either has allergies or I don't vacuum the rug enough (yes, MIL actually said this to me).

my mom and MIL alternate weeks watching DD, for which i am truly grateful. But I wish my MIL would let me enjoy time with the baby on the weekends instead of insisting we spend all of our time over there. She sees my kid more than I do as it is.

[missys]

Dear family,
I want to raise my kid and do what I want without advice/criticism/questioning my choices or actions. I am a new mom and I get to make decisions based on me, my baby, my husband, and our pedi. Just love my baby and let me do the rest.
Eta- I question myself enough without having you put in your thoughts or input. Move along.

[seamonster]

Jul 7, 2015 13:17:28 GMT -5 wimcgrath said:

Jul 7, 2015 12:24:52 GMT -5 hollydfromtn said:

Ugh...this. MIL always says things like "there's my baby" and she always asks DS in that baby voice "whose baby are you? That's right you're mamaw's baby." I always pipe up and say he's a momma's boy. It drives me crazy.

This. My MIL is always talking about her baby and how when we leave their house she says "you're taking my baby away!" Annoys the crap out of me.

Same here. Lady I married your baby and calling our child your baby annoys him as well.

[lotsofdotts]

Three situations here:

1. My parents have been super involved with my kids and live in town. They were my savior when I went through the divorce and being a single parent for almost 8 years. However that support has turned into them thinking they coparent with me. It drives DH crazy, understandably. I try to reign them in, but it is difficult. They did so much for me, so I don't want to be an ass but I do have to put my foot down periodically.

2. DH's mom lives 12 hours away. She is great. Living 12 hours away helps me feel that way.

3. DH's dad and stepmom live 30 minutes from us. We rarely see them, but when we do we get criticized for our parenting and general life decisions. I DGAF and often just come back with smartass remarks. It has made the criticism less when I'm around.

[seamonster]

Every feature that doesn't match MH must come from somewhere else in their family. DS is blond, must be because my FIL has blond hair. No matter that it's the exact shade mine was as a baby, that both my parents were blondes as babies and toddlers (although my dad has black hair as an adult and my mom and I are brunettes), and my grandfather was a blonde. It's not at all possible that he has any of my features, even if people comment how much he looks like me.

[emilyz320]

My mom is obsessed with dd owning "girly" things. We were team green so a lot of our baby gear - toys, blankets, etc. - are neutral. She brings over new toys, blankets and other items that are pink and over the top to replace what we have. Generous of her to buy dd gifts but we don't need any of them and the constant comments about how she needs to be girly are annoying!

[misshart00]

Jul 7, 2015 18:36:47 GMT -5 emilyz320 said:

My mom is obsessed with dd owning "girly" things. We were team green so a lot of our baby gear - toys, blankets, etc. - are neutral. She brings over new toys, blankets and other items that are pink and over the top to replace what we have. Generous of her to buy dd gifts but we don't need any of them and the constant comments about how she needs to be girly are annoying!

Could you ask her to buy 12 month clothes or something? Then she still gets to buy girly stuff and it's stuff you actually need instead of replacing stuff you already have.

[danitaec]

Jul 7, 2015 18:13:16 GMT -5 seamonster said:

Every feature that doesn't match MH must come from somewhere else in their family. DS is blond, must be because my FIL has blond hair. No matter that it's the exact shade mine was as a baby, that both my parents were blondes as babies and toddlers (although my dad has black hair as an adult and my mom and I are brunettes), and my grandfather was a blonde. It's not at all possible that he has any of my features, even if people comment how much he looks like me.

+1, even though my son is a miniature version of me. Grrr!

[aggiebug]

emilyz320 omg that would piss me off like no other. I would give H a fair warning it was coming (so he could run interference) but I am pretty sure I would tell her no thank you and hand it back to her or tell her to put it in the goodwill pile.

You don't have to like pink and frills to be girly. Gah.


Thankfully my MIL is delightful and I am thankful for her. Fil on the other hand...