GTKY-- I first knew I was LGBTQ when ... (Poll)

[healz413]

Hey Folks,
The board hasn't been super busy recently, so I thought I'd have some fun with a poll. So, answer if you feel comfortable and then also add a comment with more info (if you wish).

ETA: I don't think there is anyone here enough older than 45 that they wouldn't have known they were LGBTQ until after 45, but if there is, I apologize for my assumptions!

ETA #2: Fixed "new" in the subject line. EEEK! No wonder no one wanted to play yet.

[healz413]

When I was 24, I noticed that I had crushes on a couple of my lesbian friends and I started thinking that may I wasn't entirely straight. They both had girlfriends though, so the thinking didn't ever get tested. When I was 25, I met a dyke at a conference and fell head over heals. I came home knowing I wasn't straight but not knowing exactly where I fell. We ended up dating and I just got clearer and clearer about my queerness/dykeness.

[karlamo]

I call myself a late bloomer but reading how old healz was makes me think I may not be.

I "knew" at 21/22. I dated all of 2 guys, one who is now gay, and it never felt right with them. After college I moved to DC and that's were I met my wife. At the time I wasn't sure how to reconcile the feelings I had for her but being with her definately felt right and comfortable. Flash forward 13 years later and she's still the only woman I've ever been with. We're a perfect match for each other and I can't believe I got so lucky in love.

[JustJudy]

I have a similar story to karlamo. 

My my entire life I knew I wasn't really attracted to guys. My mom even asked me in 6th grade if I was gay, but I went to a very conservative Lutheran private school from preschool to 8th grade and we attended catholic mass on Sundays so there was no way I would have admitted it even if I was sure. In high school I convinced myself that I was focusing on my dancing and didn't have time to date. I went to a High School of the arts, so lots of gay guys but there still were not many lesbians. 

Then, in college I tried to date and have sex with men but was really not into it. I met J and was instantly in love with her. It was pretty messy because she was dating a friend at the time. Long story short that friend went to Germany for study abroad. J needed a place to stay for a while and my roommate happened to be gone for the summer so she moved in. 10 years later we're still together, which I know surprised the heck out of many of my friends. We are still friends with the woman she was dating, she even attended our wedding. 

If anything happened with J I know I would only date women so I do identify as a lesbian. 

[Stringy]

I "knew" before I knew what it meant. Or maybe I knew but was in denial. It was 8th or 9th grade, so I think I was over 13, but I didn't count back. So pretty much I was making out with my best friend for a long time and we were denying that it meant anything. But at the same time talking about cute boys cuz we were supposed to, and never ever considering each other girlfriends.

It wasn't until I met my college gf that I acknowledged it to myself and came out to some other people.

[ionaerebor]

I was really, really young. I think I was only about 10, since I got a crush on the new girl in my primary school, with the same intensity as the guy I'd had a crush on. I didn't really think about it again until I was 13, maybe 14, when I started making out with my best friend though, and I came out as bi not long after but at that age people questioned it so much that I almost retreated back into the closet until I was 19 and I re-came out as queer. I know identify as both bi and queer, depending on who I'm talking to.

[kh826]

I spent most of high school very confused and angry without the ability to really articulate why, but I knew I had zero interest in dating guys. Spring of my senior year (18) it finally clicked and I had my first true crush on a girl (a straight female friend who never knew). I came out to a handful of close friends at the end of high school and over the summer before college. Most were pretty shocked. I went away to college and was out from day one. It was amazing. I fell (hard!) for a girl who terribly broke my heart and after that dated a few other girls casually, but nothing serious until I met my wife. I was 20 and she was 21. She was only out to a few people and had never been with a woman. Almost 11 years later, here we are!

[esquette]

I figured it when I got a huge crush on my (straight, female) speech and debate partner. At the time, I was in a 2 year relationship with a conservative christian dude. It didn't work out. I broke up with him and started hanging out with my crush. We sort of dated, but she was pretty straight. That didn't work either.

Then I went to college at Scripps, which is an all women school in SoCal. It was AWESOME. :-)

[shemarie82]

This is going to probably sound really strange, but I didn't know until I was basically in an emotional relationship with B. I was totally clueless about life plus I was very active in my church in high school. We started working together and immediately hit it off. We spent all of our time together, but my friends were normally around as well, so was her "roommate" so I never thought much of it. About a year later, I surprised myself by kissing her. There was a nasty breakup once the "roommate" ( I was still CLUELESS) found out that we were together. The 15th anniversary of that kiss is coming up next weekend! There was 3 years that we weren't technically together, but still saw each other or talked daily.

I consider myself bi, but on the Kinsey scale, I am mostly straight. She is the only chick for me.

[kona]

I knew something was different about me in high school but never actually dated anyone other than DW in college. I didn't really like people and actually still don't, so dating or letting people close to me wasn't really on my radar. Even after I met DW and she pursued me hard core I was a bit clueless. But she won my heart. When she forced me to come out to my parents I didn't tell them I was gay I came out by telling them that I had found the person I wanted to be with the rest of my life.

[wittyandwaiting]

Fun!!!!! I love this healz413!

I always knew that I loved women. I remember having a babysitter when I was 4 or 5 years old who would brush my hair while I sat there swooning inside and I remember playing mash a few years later and putting Samantha Micelli from Who's the Boss (Alyssa Milano) on my list to the horror of my friends.



In middle school I had a best friend that I frequently made out with, practicing for when we had boyfriends and in high school I made out with girls and boys and girls again and had a few fleeting relationships with both; I told most people that I was Bi. I had this notion that I couldn't be uber feminine AND be a lesbian because I didn't feel like I had ever seen a lesbian like me.

In college, after DS was born, I kind of figured it all out and started dating women exclusively.

@soesposa I also think that men smell funny. I had to show your post to C because she has laughed at me for this for years.

Eta: I think it's kind of a ham smell like packaged hammy lunch meat. I don't eat ham.

[crazyaunt84]

I kissed a couple girls in college, but never really thought too much about it (there was always booze involved). I had a very serious boyfriend in highschool and into the first year of college, and toward the end of college I got engaged to a guy I'd known since childhood. It would have been a disaster of a marriage for many, many reasons. I met C through work about a year before the wedding was set to take place. We ended up having an affair and I called off the wedding. We've been together ever since (almost 10 years).

I haven't had any other relationships with women. I publicly identify as a lesbian because I'm married to a woman and don't foresee anyone or anything else in my future but her. However, if something were to happen, I think I'd probably identify as pansexual. I'm attracted to personality over gender identity, and I'd be open to a relationship with anyone, regardless of gender or gender identity.

[jgy]

Oy, what a topic!

I voted myself into the 18-22 category, because that's when I truly realized what was going on. But in reality I had crushes early in life, they were just always on authority figures so no danger to act on them (gymnastics coach, softball coach, babysitter, etc). I've always had a thing for older women, I guess.

In high school I was fascinated by "Gay people." I remember going to an Indigo Girls concert with my sister and just staring in awe at the lesbian couple sitting near us. But I had deep, meaningful crushes on boys/men and since that was an easier route I always went with it. Once I got to college I did continue to date men, but found myself following this one particular woman around. She was out, and on-and-off dating another woman. I told myself I just wanted to spend time with her, but that was a lie. We ended up quasi-dating, and that opened my eyes to a new world of possible relationships. I continued to date both men and women, and eventually (at age 27) ended up marrying a wonderful man. Unfortunately I had also just met S. And while my marriage to that guy wouldn't have lasted anyway (we had many issues), having S in my life certainly hurried things along.

So while I have dated both men and women consistently, and if anything happened to S I truly don't know who I might be interested in, I identify as lesbian because that's the world that I really live in. It works for me.

[shemarie82]

jgy, B is 10 years older than me...I get it

[jazibel]

I marked down 14 - 17 because it's likely most accurate. But I've always kind of known. I had my first real girl crush at 13/14 (I was actually in school in Germany at the time). I couldn't even breathe when this girl was close - Lol. I remember being so confused. I grew up in a very suburban town on the East Coast, I didn't know anyone in the LGBT community or that it was even an option. I remember thinking at 16 that I would have to marry a man and have a girl-friend to be happy. I met EV in college, we "hooked" up Sophomore year amidst much drama (we were both dating other people). We were 19 and 18 at the time and needless to say the relationship came to a heartbreaking end. We fell madly in love again a couple years later, and I moved out to California and into a tiny apartment with her. We've been together for 16 years, married for 10, legally married for 1.5.

[rosieelk]

I didn't actually realise I was a lesbian until DW and I had been together for a year and a half, so I was 21, maybe 22. Before DW, I had always been attracted to women, but never had any real crushes, and thought I was just waiting on the right guy. And then I met DW, had a massive crush on her, and decided that must mean I was bi/pan. It wasn't until I was talking with DW one day that I realised that I had never been attracted to a man, and that I wasn't bi and just hadn't met the right guy, that I was actually just a lesbian. I remember actually coming out to DW and her crying from laughing so hard, that it had taken me so long to realise and she had known from the day she met me.

[jgy]

jazibel, OMG that feeling where you can't breathe? I remember that SO vividly! And if you happened to turn a corner and she was there ... look out. Complete respiratory collapse.