coping with aloneness

[rae80407]

One of my issues that I'm trying to work through right now is being comfortable when I'm alone. I found this article that has some good insight on a few things.

13stepsToBeingAlone

Any of you want to share some things you like to do when you're alone?


Sorry everyone I can't figure out how to posts a link

Eta: Yaaaay! It works now!

[tjr42px]

I like to sit outside if it's nice. I finished cleaning our pool tonight and as much as I wish we rented a place without a pool...I love just standing next to it, leaning against the side (it's above ground) listening to the hum of the pump, watching the lilac petals swirl around and eventually get swallowed by the skimmer. The lilacs smell amazing and completely mask the harsh chlorine scent. My wife will ask, seriously how long does it take to vacuum the pool? I totally lose track of time some nights it's so calming.

[tjr42px]

I'm all about #8. Mindfulness is totally my thing so reducing mindlessness is a focus.

#2 is on my get better at list for sure.

Thanks for the link. Good stuff to consider.

[bocaburger]

I've really been enjoying taking long walks in the park by myself. Sometimes I listen to music, sometimes I just let my mind wander. It's really nice because I can go wherever I want at whatever pace I want.

[URMySunshine77]

I try to take a break from my computer and pet my dog. Do you have any pets? When I look into my dog's eyes and pet her, I can feel myself starting to breathe deeper and relax. It also makes me feel good to nurture her spirit because she tends to get left behind when I am taking care of DS.

[rae80407]

Jul 10, 2015 0:34:16 GMT -5 URMySunshine77 said:

I try to take a break from my computer and pet my dog. Do you have any pets? When I look into my dog's eyes and pet her, I can feel myself starting to breathe deeper and relax. It also makes me feel good to nurture her spirit because she tends to get left behind when I am taking care of DS.

I don't yet, however my fi just brought a baby kitten around 5wks old home that he found on the side of the road. His mom has her at the moment because she had to take her to the vet to get a wolf worm removed bless its heart, but after she's 6wks and we can worm her and get her shots, we will be taking her. I can't wait because it does definitely raise my spirits being around animals.

[tjr42px]

Put me in the pet column. Between the four of them, they have worked out their own "pet me now" schedules. But when I'm alone I totally seek them out off schedule .

I used to read, but now my reading is mostly audiobooks. Strange enough when I'm alone I tend not to workout much, but use exercise to get alone time when needed.

[tjr42px]

Jul 9, 2015 21:18:24 GMT -5 @sluttybigb00bz said:

I never feel alone because I have my dogs and I like them more than people

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I also read a long time ago about how you can be alone and not lonely, and you can feel lonely in a crowd. I think that was helpful for me.

Totally agree with you about dogs > people.

And love the last part about being alone but not lonely or not being alone but lonely. I guess it comes down to feeling connected either to others or to one's self.

[icequeen]

Thanks for the link, rae80407!

I completely agree that being in a crowd makes me feel more alone than being by myself. It seems totally counter intuitive, but being around other people only reminds me of how different my life is from theirs (from the outside, anyway) and I feel like a freak of nature. When I am alone, which is not often at all, I like to take a walk, not for exercise reasons, but to practice my breathing and enjoy nature. Fresh air does wonders for me. I also like to just lie down and watch trashy TV, or if I don't feel too guilty spending money on myself, I will go get a massage.

[tjr42px]

Jul 10, 2015 7:21:27 GMT -5 @sluttybigb00bz said:

Jul 10, 2015 4:52:12 GMT -5 tjr42px said:

Put me in the pet column. Between the four of them, they have worked out their own "pet me now" schedules. But when I'm alone I totally seek them out off schedule .

I used to read, but now my reading is mostly audiobooks. Strange enough when I'm alone I tend not to workout much, but use exercise to get alone time when needed.

We have 4 pets too! We had our kitties for a while but we got our boy dog when DH and I moved to a new town and he was working long days. He was a rescue so I worked really hard on training plus took him on lots of walks. I probably would have been less active without him.

All four of ours our rescues. They are the best! A fairly normal tabby, very quirky borderline sociopathic Siamese, a scared of life 100lbs mutt that is terrified of our cats, and a Treewalker coonhound that was dubbed a "failed hunting dog." Apparently being scared of everything makes being around guns difficult. She's so sweet and runs the show now, but was on daily Prozac and Xanax when we got her. Our big guy got much more confident pretty much since our little dog's Gotcha Day. And both have become protective and loving with each kiddo. Our Eeyore of a giant would run away tail between his legs if a strange male looks at him, but will lay down between said male and LO every time.

I'm so proud of them!

[tjr42px]

Jul 10, 2015 20:42:23 GMT -5 @sluttybigb00bz said:

Jul 10, 2015 20:29:07 GMT -5 tjr42px said:

All four of ours our rescues. They are the best! A fairly normal tabby, very quirky borderline sociopathic Siamese, a scared of life 100lbs mutt that is terrified of our cats, and a Treewalker coonhound that was dubbed a "failed hunting dog." Apparently being scared of everything makes being around guns difficult. She's so sweet and runs the show now, but was on daily Prozac and Xanax when we got her. Our big guy got much more confident pretty much since our little dog's Gotcha Day. And both have become protective and loving with each kiddo. Our Eeyore of a giant would run away tail between his legs if a strange male looks at him, but will lay down between said male and LO every time.

I'm so proud of them!

Ours are also all rescues and 2 pups (pitties) and 2 kitties!

I think treewalker coonhounds are gorgeous, I've only met a couple of them.

Our boy had 2 homes, was in a shelter, then a foster, then boarding. All he needed was a couple weeks of training and he is a DREAM DOG!


My little girl is deaf and had a lot of issues (also including being skittish around men) - we've worked through most of them  

Pits! That's awesome. They are so misunderstood. Love them. They sound like two sweet pups who hit the jackpot. They are lucky to have found you. And I'm sure you feel the same about them.