How do you handle this? Money and spouse

[vasc]

For couples who have joint accounts and budget jointly, how do you decide how miscellaneous expenses are prioritized?  DH and I have a small line in the budget for misc. expenses that arise during the month, usually associated with our house.  I'm talking nothing big (less than $50 usually), but because this misc. line is so small ($100 for the month), every purchase needs to be considered carefully.

Currently, I want to purchase X item.  DH wants to purchase Y item.  Neither are more essential than the other, although both of us are making a case that ours are more important.  Assume you can't afford both.  How do you decide which gets purchased?

[vitafelix]

Rock, paper, scissors?

[anustart1]

Can you just save the misc. amount each month until you can afford both? Or divide the misc. amount in cash, keep it in seperate jars and each get your own thing when you have enough?

[cl8badb]

Its hard to say since neither one is more important.

Can you get both and then nothing next month?

[vasc]

Thanks for the suggestions, ladies. DH and I kind of get caught in circles with this type of dilemma. I have something I'd like to buy and linger over it for several weeks, trying to postpone unnecessary expenses. DH wants to buy something and wants to order or buy it immediately and acts butt-hurt when I point out the item I'm also coveting. If I were to rush out and buy it myself, I'd never hear the end of it and be accused of overspending.

[melohdy]

Is one of you willing to wait until next month?

(If you're like me, "one of you" is usually you and you (me/I) feel resentful as a result)

[vasc]

Luckily payday is Monday, so the coffers will be replenished and we should be able to purchase both. It's more the principle...I'm much more willing to say my needs can wait without pouting than DH, but then I get resentful and feel like he doesn't trust me to make good decisions about our money (and again, we are talking minuscule purchases in the large scheme of things).

[anustart1]

Jul 16, 2015 14:06:46 GMT -5 vasc said:

Luckily payday is Monday, so the coffers will be replenished and we should be able to purchase both. It's more the principle...I'm much more willing to say my needs can wait without pouting than DH, but then I get resentful and feel like he doesn't trust me to make good decisions about our money (and again, we are talking minuscule purchases in the large scheme of things).

This is me with the waiting and the pouting. However in my case I know DH knows I make the good decisions with our money, he just thinks I can be no fun sometimes and stingy with impractical stuff (which I am) and he is king of impractical stuff.

[vasc]

Jul 16, 2015 15:19:50 GMT -5 thatblondie said:

My H is honestly awesome and would let me get my thing. But when we both worked, we had separate misc funds so we didn't have to have that argument.

We also have separate checkings for our fun money, but these purchases happen to be for the house, which, under our rules, come from the joint.

[vasc]

We've decided to get DH's item when it's pay day and postpone my item another month (because it's for our guest house and it make sense to wait until our tenant moves out in August to get it).