How are you gals handling interaction with strangers now?
It kind of weirded me out one day because an older man told J "give me five" as we were walking by a group of older men and J didnt even hesitate. I want him to maybe get the ok from me first. I feel that he'd understand the concept of checking with me first but i also feel that it would be hard to address in the moment. I was thinking of possibly explaining to the adult involved that im trying to teach him to be cautious with strangers so that they dont think that im just plain rude if i tell J to check with me first when they try interacting with him.
What are you doing? How do you handle it? I think watching shows/experiments about how easily kids walk away with strangers has effected (affected?) me. They actually did an experiment in a loca park and the kids all took the guys hand and walked off with him bc he had a dog and the guy asked the kids if they want to go see more puppies. Its scary!
I know that J isnt running around the park alone yet but i feel like early preparation might help. Thoughts?
ETA thats supposed to say "local" park but loca park made me giggle.
I haven't really thought about this either. Currently, she's in a super shy stage and won't let someone even look at her till we've been with them for a while..
I haven't thought about this enough either. I am moderately convinced that she'd go in for the high-five and/or take the guy's hand to go see the puppies...unfortunately. So it is something we need to work on.
I also need to be much better about supporting her when she doesn't want to give grandma/grandpa/auntie/whoever a hug. For the most part, she's always down to hug her favorite people; but, sometimes she's not into it. I need to be more vocal with those people saying, "she's not really into it, right now. Maybe next time" or something like that.
Eta: My punctuation in the 2nd paragraph is atrocious. I tried to fix it; but it may still be wrong. I have been 2nd guessing my semicolon usage recently.
When I teach stranger danger at school, I frame it by reminding kids that 99% of the strangers we meet are regular folks like us just living our lives, following the laws, and not wanting to hurt anyone. When meeting these people with Mom or Dad present, it's okay to engage in small chit-chat, toddler high-fives, etc.
However, because we can't tell from the outside if a stranger is in the 99% good camp or 1% bad apple camp, we have to be cautious when Mom and Dad aren't there to help us. Since we only have toddlers now and we are always supervising them, I wouldn't discourage DD yet from random chit-chat or high fives.
DS is shy for about the first 5 minutes of seeing anyone but those he sees on a regular basis. He also looks to us for confirmation that it's okay and how we are reacting.
We had to convince him to give Cinderella a high five at Storyland the other day and was clinging to DH for dear life.
So... Both my kids are essentially Amber alerts waiting to happen. They will go up to chat it up with anyone. Nora will literally throw herself at people she has never seen before. I should probably come up with some sort of plan at some point- but I'm not there yet. They are both still right with me- and I do tell B that someone is a stranger if he walks up to them and starts talking or something at the park. But really- I'm just not worried about this right now.
Post by mufflerlove on Jul 16, 2015 21:20:43 GMT -5
I haven't decided what to do personally but as a kid my mom was super over protective of us and as a result I ended up super shy and I am still fairly shy to this day. My mom has told me she regrets how she guarded us from strangers because it carried with us. I don't remember any of this but I know I want to do what I can for I don't scare her away from being social but at the same time I want to keep her safe.
Trav has no stranger danger. It worries me. No matter what I've said he doesn't seem to get it. He will tell random people oh my dads gone on a long work trip. Wanna come over? Part of the reason I haven't taught him our phone number or address. I fear he would give it everyone. Colton is a little more reserved. But not by much.
I definitely dont want J to be scared of everyone, i just want him to be aware of that 1% of people that arent good. Im obviously right by his side now but i feel like starting early can benefit him. I dont plan on being neurotic about it.
If ive been allowing him to pick and choose who he kisses or hugs for the last two years to avoid a future problem if some creepy relative/coach/friend try to talk him into an uncomfortable physical situation why shouldnt i also try to teach him some sort of stranger safety now?
^^^ run on sentence to the extreme!
I dont want him to be spooked if someone wants a high five i just want him to look at me for approval. Like "hey mom is this guy/girl ok to interact with?" Majority of the time he doesnt like to interact with strangers and im usually the one to say "its ok... You can say hi/bye etc". Thats why i was so caught of guard when he gave the guy a high five without hesitation.
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