Funny mom stories

[mrsmonogrammed]

Inspired by my first solo trip taking DD to the pediatrician....

Tell us something funny/embarrassing that's happened while out and about with your baby!

[mrsmonogrammed]

Took DD to the pedi yesterday all by myself for her 1m appt. While we were in the waiting room, I hear her poop. But I know that the dr will be calling us back soon and I don't want to miss it, so I figure I'll change her in the room before they weigh her.
But then I hear her poop again.
Aaaaand one more time.
So I know we're in "blowout territory". Especially because we JUST moved up to size 1 diapers and I know they are a little big...

We get back to the room and undress her. Poop ALLLL over her white capri pants...it's coming out of both leg holes. It took me like 6 wipes to get the mess cleaned up! And of course some got on the paper on the exam table. Why didn't I use a changing pad you ask? Idk. FTM brain fart I suppose?

Anyway, after she has on a clean diaper, we go out to the scale to weigh her. Where she proceeds to spit up ( a lot) all over the scale and turned her head at the same time so she rolls her hair all in it. Of course she had just had a bath that morning-__-

Thankfully the nurse just kept saying "oh don't even worry about it, it's no big deal" but I'm sure she was laughing her ass off inside because I know I was!!

[purpledaisy923]

we have 2 vehicles that have car seat bases installed for the twins. I usually drive my car because I am used to it, but it has less room than our Jeep. I wanted to go on a shopping trip alone, which requires me taking our double stroller (2 infant car seats can clip into it). The double stroller fits better in the Jeep, so I ended up driving that instead of my car.

I was in the parking lot of the store, it was 95 degrees outside, and I couldn't get the back hatch of the Jeep open to get the double stroller out. I unlocked it and I was just pulling at the handle looking like a complete idiot. I called DH to ask him how to open the hatch. He laughs and says "pull the handle and punch the license plate". Ummm, ok then. I pulled the handle, punched the license plate, and the damn thing opens. WTF? People in the parking lot were giving me the strangest looks.

[baileybaileybne]

purpledaisy923 I had to phone my husband to ask how to put gas in our Jeep because I couldn't get the stupid 'key turn one way and cap turn the other way' thing to work. So frustrating!

[carolyngrace]

I met a friend at a coffee shop last week. I heard DB pooping as I walked in but thought nothing of it. Well the (totally hip, young) girl behind the counter looked horrified and literally pointed at DB (in a carrier on my chest) and said "your baby has a diaper... Issue"

So I went to change DB and found his legs and pants practically soaked with poop. I glanced in the mirror and didn't see any on me. When I came back out another worker was cleaning the floor and I was mortified when I saw drops of poop there. I jokingly said "well at least it didn't get on me!" And the same girl pointed down to my jeans. They had huge streaks of poop.

I still tried to roll with it. I ordered my drink, wiped my pants off best I could, and apologized for the mess.

Ten minutes later DB started screaming. And I was out of there!

[jessila]

Owen had pooped so I took him over to the nursery to change him. I opened his diaper and there was literally a puddle of poop on his diaper. He was content with the changing process so I was talking to him and I said "That may be the grossest thing Mommy has ever dealt with!" Then he proceeded to poop more without a diaper on, into my hands.
No, Kid. That is now really the grossest thing I've ever done. Thank you for that.

[wegrowsheep]

There were no witnesses to my struggle in the greenhouse today. Which is a shame, because it was a sight. T decided he was DONE in the stroller and needed to be held, and I was in a time crunch to run drip irrigation and hand water all 50+ tomatoes at the same time (was using equipment that prevented dad from turning on a different line). So I had him cradled in my left arm, with a paci wedged in his mouth against my boob, and a water wand in my other hand, using my leg to help drag the hose the length of the greenhouse. And angling my shoulders to keep the sun off his head.
At some point he fussed and I may have said, "You're a farm kid, deal with it.

[musicfrk2002]

So we had to go back to the pediatricians office today for an xray of J's abdomen due to some tummy issues and the tech wasn't in since our appointment was so early. Had to strip him naked, so then he of course needed to pee all over the table. Then we came home, and he pooped while he was still in his car seat. I of course took pictures of his faces until I was sure he was done, then went to change him. While doing so, he managed to hulk stomp his foot straight into the poopy diaper. Luckily it didn't spray everywhere.

[wink568]

I was victim to LOs only blow out (while she was napping on my chest), but DH runs into most of the diaper change grossness.

One morning he took her for a diaper change and I hear him scream from the nursery "I didn't know girls could do that!" She had just projectile peed all over him. Poor guy.

[ombradellarosa]

Jul 22, 2015 19:46:41 GMT -5 wink568 said:

I was victim to LOs only blow out (while she was napping on my chest), but DH runs into most of the diaper change grossness.

One morning he took her for a diaper change and I hear him scream from the nursery "I didn't know girls could do that!" She had just projectile peed all over him. Poor guy.

+1! I didn't know girls could do that either! Turns out DH had already learned that by the time I did--twice. 

I know I'm a mom now because I was cracking up at all of these poop stories and once upon a time I would have been so grossed out. 

[baytosa2013]

This particular poop story happened fairly early on. I was changing DD on the changing table attached to the PnP and it was a poopy diaper. So I'm wiping, get her all cleaned off and she starts pooping again! I'm like oh shit!! (see what I did there?) and then her foot is in it and then we are messier than the first go round. Get her cleaned again, take away the messy diaper and I swear in the 2.5 seconds I turned to put the diaper in the genie she was pooping again...all over the changing pad. I just sat on the bed and was like I'll just be over here..take your time!!

[ladymouse]

DH was holding baby DD shortly after DS' bath. DS crawls into DH's lap so he can hang upside down looking at the TV. DD looks at me intently, and several feet worth of spit up casually streams out of her mouth into her brother's hair.