STM check in 7/19

[Deleted]

Check in for STMs and any moms w more then one.

How is everything going w having more then one?

Any questions/concerns/ransoms

Share any new pictures!

[wormgerm]

Jul 20, 2015 6:02:02 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

Check in for STMs and any moms w more then one.

How is everything going w having more then one?

Any questions/concerns/ransoms

Share any new pictures!

Ransoms! Hahahaha favorite typo ever.

[ladysif]

How is everything going w having more then one? Pretty well! DS1 is still really affectionate with DS2. We keep busy during the day, I've been great about taking him somewhere every day and having lots of playmates. DH dotes on him in the evening after work so that helps too.

Any questions/concerns/ransoms: Some days I would ransom them for cash but most days they're keepers. The hardest adjustment is what to do if DS2 has to nurse when I'm grocery shopping. I had to at Target last week so I bribed DS1 with popcorn and we sat in the cafe and I nursed, but I don't want to bribe him every time. I plan to add some better toys to the diaper bag for next time and be sure to bring snacks from home so I don't have to buy popcorn every time, we can just do it occasionally as a treat. Any other tips from anyone?

[tulips114]

Things are still going pretty good. The newness of baby has worn off a bit and the girls have started being a little rough with the baby. It's playful, not mean but obviously still has me nervous. Also DD1 is a very lovey, touchy, feely girl, so she is always in his face smothering him with kisses and hugs. Which is sweet, but annoying. So we're trying to learn about personal space in general and apply that to baby too.



I think I shared that pic in HDBD, but it's the newest I have of all 3.

[tulips114]

ladysif what about a few books? Or not sure how you feel about screen time, but what about a game on the iPad or tablet. Our girls screen time is pretty limited, but I'd be willing to pull out the tablet for that.

[bendherova]

Jul 20, 2015 6:04:18 GMT -5 wormgerm said:

Jul 20, 2015 6:02:02 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

Check in for STMs and any moms w more then one.

How is everything going w having more then one?

Any questions/concerns/ransoms

Share any new pictures!

Ransoms! Hahahaha favorite typo ever.

It's ok. DS1 has started waking when he hears DS2's early am wake up-- so between 530-630 and then he runs into our room. Before DS2, he'd sleep past 7am. So a lot of early am screen time.

I have started pouring a cup of milk and leaving in our fridge (with a lid) and leaving a snack on our island before I go to bed so he can help himself in the AM.

DS1 is 4 and is a typical 4yo in testing limits and not listening. The not listening part really works my nerves now that sleep deprivation has set in. Overall DS1 is very well behaved though, I shouldn't complain about him too much.

This morning (before 7am) he told me he "likes Lukey."

I was able to take DS1 to the park without DS2 for an hr yesterday and that was fun, but then I started bleeding again from the stitch/part of my tear in the most sensitive spot.

[Deleted]

Well we attempted dinner w the family and it was completely nuts! I thought we were doing everything right. We met our friends at a family friendly Mexican restaurant at 5pm. They have a 6 month old that was so well behaved in a high chair I could not believe. She was so chill just sitting there and holding a toy.

DS was all over the place. Would not sit still so DH walked with him outside then even after they came back he was still all over the place. Under the table and he kept walking up to different peoples tables to interact w strangers. Ugh.

We ended up just shoveling food in our mouths and leaving quickly.

[Deleted]

Jul 20, 2015 6:04:18 GMT -5 wormgerm said:

Jul 20, 2015 6:02:02 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

Check in for STMs and any moms w more then one.

How is everything going w having more then one?

Any questions/concerns/ransoms

Share any new pictures!

Ransoms! Hahahaha favorite typo ever.

Oh yea my iPhone automatically spells ransoms all the time!!!!

[alayne926]

Jul 20, 2015 6:02:02 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

Check in for STMs and any moms w more then one.

How is everything going w having more then one? It's going pretty well. Definitely has its stressful moments, but overall going well.

Any questions/concerns/ransoms DS is testing DH and I like crazy. He has started telling us no and not listening at all. I know part of it is his age (2 1/2), but it is SO hard to deal with sometimes. We are just trying to stay consistent and stick to our guns with consequences.

Share any new pictures!

[lunalovegood]

Things are going ok here in the land of chaos. DS1 (11) is so sweet to LO, but alternates between being sweet and a great helper to me and having the preteen attitude. It is exhausting because I never know what I am going to get with him.
DD1 is so in love with her sister and she is so excited to have a sister that she is practically attached to LO (and me) ALL.THE. TIME. I have been trying to be so patient with her, but it is very hard when I just need a little space and to have have her kissing on LO when I am trying to nurse,
DS2 seems pretty uninterested in LO at this point. I don't know if it is just the age or he just really doesn't care.
DS3 is taking the role of big brother very seriously. After being the baby of the family for 6 years I thought he would be the one that would have the hardest time adjusting, but he is doing great so far.

I am still trying to get used to this new normal. Sometimes I still feel like I am drowning though.

[Deleted]

I'm so sleep deprived I don't remember if I posted this one already or not. It made me realize I only have 2 or 3 photos of them together! I need to take more!

[sugarkissed]

We are pretty adjusted to our new normal, but it's a bit chaotic! DH is back to work so it's just me every day until an hour before bed time.
DD1 is really sweet and very interested in the baby, so that's nice. She is almost 2 so her tantrums are in full force and I've found it pretty tough at times. I'm also torn between feeling super cooped up at home and being afraid to leave the house with both kids. Overall things are going well, but I've got a lot to learn.

Share any new pictures!

[veggiemo]

I have a question: anyone else have (or had) trouble getting their older kids to brush teeth? It has turned into a game for DS1 (3 at end of sept) and he just keeps his mouth shut on purpose so I have to fight him to do it. I plug his nose to force open his mouth but then he just clenches his teeth. I use every threat I can think of, including how he's going to have to get shots in his mouth if he doesn't brush his teeth, but he still just laughs and fights to the death. I end up having to hold him down with my legs, and practically gagging him with the toothbrush to get it done. It's really sad. It's not that he doesn't want to do it, he just thinks it's super funny. I'm sooo frustrated!!

[billyhorrible]

ladysif, This is part of my babywearing spiel. Carrier nursing for the win! It lets me shop, feed, and take care of the 3 year old.

veggiemo,don't let it be a game. Also, make him in charge of brushing his own teeth so it becomes less of a game with you. Let him pick out a toothbrush and toothpaste (we're using Dora toothpaste right now with a ninja turtle toothbrush) and it's his "job" to do it. And the reward is getting to do the next activity. LBB can't watch tv in the morning while I'm getting ready for work until he's brushed his teeth.(or on the weekends we don't get to go anywhere until he's brushed his teeth.) He doesn't get a bedtime story at night until he's brushed his teeth.

Things here are going well. I think it helps that I keep LBB entertained and "out" so for him it's been nothing but good times since bringing the baby home.  For now, when the baby is fairly low maintenance (just sleeps and eats) it's easy to cater to older child.  Once we really have to divide attention, like next year at this time, I'm sure things will be a lot more difficult.

[veggiemo]

billyhorrible, thanks! He has 4 different toothbrushes and 3 different toothpastes and the choices don't seem to help. And I try letting him choose who brushes first (him or me) or who helps (me or DH) etc, to no avail. However, it IS the last activity before bed so that could be my problem right there. He's allowed to have his door open to let in light so he can read in bed and I've threatened to shut his door if he doesn't cooperate, but he still fights me. I guess I need to brush earlier in the routine so I can find more bargaining tools. Or maybe a sticker chart?? See, sometimes just talking this through can spark new ideas!

[tulips114]

veggiemo nothing but sympathy from me. I absolutely loathe brushing the girls' teeth. I do a lot of what billyhorrible suggested but some days they just will not cooperate and I have also held them down to do it. It's not fun.
I agree making it earlier in the routine might be better. We threaten no stories and that's been working lately.

[Deleted]

Jul 20, 2015 11:40:35 GMT -5 veggiemo said:

I have a question: anyone else have (or had) trouble getting their older kids to brush teeth? It has turned into a game for DS1 (3 at end of sept) and he just keeps his mouth shut on purpose so I have to fight him to do it. I plug his nose to force open his mouth but then he just clenches his teeth. I use every threat I can think of, including how he's going to have to get shots in his mouth if he doesn't brush his teeth, but he still just laughs and fights to the death. I end up having to hold him down with my legs, and practically gagging him with the toothbrush to get it done. It's really sad. It's not that he doesn't want to do it, he just thinks it's super funny. I'm sooo frustrated!!

We have this issue too so I started just randomly introducing the toothbrush through the day instead of at bedtime routine and that has worked out for us. Funny his favorite time to brush is in the bath and while doing something else like playing w bath toys. I guess he is a multitasker.

[veggiemo]

Jul 20, 2015 14:08:50 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

Jul 20, 2015 11:40:35 GMT -5 veggiemo said:

I have a question: anyone else have (or had) trouble getting their older kids to brush teeth? It has turned into a game for DS1 (3 at end of sept) and he just keeps his mouth shut on purpose so I have to fight him to do it. I plug his nose to force open his mouth but then he just clenches his teeth. I use every threat I can think of, including how he's going to have to get shots in his mouth if he doesn't brush his teeth, but he still just laughs and fights to the death. I end up having to hold him down with my legs, and practically gagging him with the toothbrush to get it done. It's really sad. It's not that he doesn't want to do it, he just thinks it's super funny. I'm sooo frustrated!!

We have this issue too so I started just randomly introducing the toothbrush through the day instead of at bedtime routine and that has worked out for us. Funny his favorite time to brush is in the bath and while doing something else like playing w bath toys. I guess he is a multitasker.

oh, good idea about during bath! He always has a snack before bed (he always claims hunger right as we are trying to wind things down) which is why I had it so late in the routine. But oh well, as long as he gets a good brush in at some point I guess I can't ask for too much.

[tiffbot]

Things are going well! So far I'm finding the adjustment to 2 easier than the adjustment to being new parents. DS was a preemie and with him being our first we didn't know any different than dealing with that, but now that I have a large full term baby to compare, who is eating efficiently, giving me time between feedings, and getting some sleep, oh my word the difference is huge and helps a lot. I don't have the anxiety of her getting sick or that I'm not doing enough like I did with DS for a few months.

Plus, these two freaking love each other. They are going to be quite the team I think. One of the biggest challenges we have it trying to teach DS not to grab her face, or grab her arm too hard, or try to roll on her, etc, because a) I've never seen him do it out of anger, he just gets too excited around her and often forgets how gentle he should be and b) when he is being what we consider too rough, she smiles at him! So we try to tell him to slow down or be gentle but he sees her smiling back and it of course makes him really happy. Oy! These two.

*deleted*

[ladysif]

Thanks tulips114 and billyhorrible. I did almost crack out my phone with Netflix, tulips! Desperate times and all. Wearing him and nursing is a great long-term solution, but I can't yet. I tried a few times, but the oversupply issue makes it impossible. During a normal nursing session it sprays him in the face, we both end up completely covered in breastmilk, and he pops on and off so frequently and spits up/chokes from the fast letdown. I'm constantly trying to help him back on, get a burp out because he gulps so much air trying to keep up with it, or calm him down because he gets pissed off (I don't blame him!). When I tried adding the carrier into the mix, we failed miserably. I feel so bad for the kid and am really looking forward to when it gets the memo to regulate and stop overproducing. It took 5 months with DS1. But I will remember that, this is actually a short-term issue knowing I have that option eventually! Thanks ladies.

[Deleted]

Jul 20, 2015 14:41:42 GMT -5 veggiemo said:

Jul 20, 2015 14:08:50 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

We have this issue too so I started just randomly introducing the toothbrush through the day instead of at bedtime routine and that has worked out for us. Funny his favorite time to brush is in the bath and while doing something else like playing w bath toys. I guess he is a multitasker.

oh, good idea about during bath! He always has a snack before bed (he always claims hunger right as we are trying to wind things down) which is why I had it so late in the routine. But oh well, as long as he gets a good brush in at some point I guess I can't ask for too much.

My guy always ask for something to drink before bed ( either water or milk) which doesn't help w the potty training. He still wears a diaper for bedtime and by morning he either leaks or has a 10 pound diaper from all the drinking.

[Widget123]

veggiemo thank you for bringing up the topic of toothbrushing! Lately the only way I've been getting DD to open her mouth has been to tickle her. I like the suggestions to switch up the routine and do it earlier; we'll have to give that a try tomorrow

[Widget123]

We had our big party for DDs 2nd birthday and LO's baptism yesterday and while there were some not so great moments like DD causing a big scene at church, overall it was a very successful day. Oh and I don't recommend renting a moon bounce in mid July, although it was cooler inside the moon bounce than outside.

Things continue to be very up and down with DDs behavior in general; I'm just hoping for more consistency with good behavior. And Ive been falling so much more in love with LO lately now that we've gotten to know each other better... Sleeping more at night hasn't hurt either

[islandgirl14]

Hi guys! Would love to check in on this. I've been totally MIA since having J... juggling two has felt darn near impossible.... G turned 2 in June, and since my maternity leave started, he has turned into a terror....There are so many times when I'm holding J (because he's fussy), or nursing and can't put him down, and then G will act out... So often since I can't put J down right away, I verbally scold G, but he continues to do what he wants, and winds up getting away with a lot because I can't get up and remove him from what he's doing. I feel like I don't know how to be a mom to both right now, while they are both at such needy ages. Sigh.... I also feel like I am setting the standard for G thinking he can get away with everything.

It does get better, doesn't it??? It has to... I feel so, so overwhelmed....

[Widget123]

islandgirl14 my DD was a terror too! She has calmed down somewhat in the last couple of weeks thankfully. *hugs*

[islandgirl14]

Jul 22, 2015 8:46:19 GMT -5 Widget123 said:

islandgirl14 my DD was a terror too! She has calmed down somewhat in the last couple of weeks thankfully. *hugs*

Thanks girl! That's encouraging to hear. I'm glad your DD has calmed down for you!! Hopefully G will follow the same path!!

[billyhorrible]

islandgirl14, does he seem to act out more when you're trying to deal with the baby? My take on this is that he's attention seeking, but obviously I'm not there to see what's going on.

If so, I'd be careful about disciplining him because first, negative attention is still attention, so he's getting what he wants, but also because he starts associating getting in trouble with the baby, which makes him resent the baby, which makes him act out more when you're paying attention to the baby.

Now, obviously (and I know this is a concern of yours) you also don't want him to see you taking care of the baby as free reign to do what he wants because he can get away with anything. Instead, redirect. At 2, I would probably put a big bin of blocks wherever you spend the most time (or in every room, if your kid is like mine you have plenty of legos/blocks/etc.). When he starts doing something undesirable, ask him to build you the tallest tower he can, which will keep him occupied. Or something similar that would work for your kid and what he likes to do.

As far as nursing, you know when that's coming, so set him up with something to do first. Coloring, beads, a puzzle, a snack - so he has something to do while you're occupied. My hospital also recommends nursing with one hand, while you use your other hand to read a story to your older child who can cuddle up next to you.

[islandgirl14]

Jul 22, 2015 9:32:16 GMT -5 billyhorrible said:

islandgirl14, does he seem to act out more when you're trying to deal with the baby? My take on this is that he's attention seeking, but obviously I'm not there to see what's going on.

If so, I'd be careful about disciplining him because first, negative attention is still attention, so he's getting what he wants, but also because he starts associating getting in trouble with the baby, which makes him resent the baby, which makes him act out more when you're paying attention to the baby.

Now, obviously (and I know this is a concern of yours) you also don't want him to see you taking care of the baby as free reign to do what he wants because he can get away with anything. Instead, redirect. At 2, I would probably put a big bin of blocks wherever you spend the most time (or in every room, if your kid is like mine you have plenty of legos/blocks/etc.). When he starts doing something undesirable, ask him to build you the tallest tower he can, which will keep him occupied. Or something similar that would work for your kid and what he likes to do.

As far as nursing, you know when that's coming, so set him up with something to do first. Coloring, beads, a puzzle, a snack - so he has something to do while you're occupied. My hospital also recommends nursing with one hand, while you use your other hand to read a story to your older child who can cuddle up next to you.

Thank you for such excellent advice billyhorrible! That's truly the best advice I have gotten, so thank you for that. You are spot on... he does act out more when I'm dealing with the baby. I'm finding that I have to hold the baby a LOT as he otherwise gets quite fussy, and swings etc don't always cut it. So, that makes it harder for me to interact well with G just because I'm constantly holding the little guy. G is super high energy, which I don't think helps the situation. Great idea on setting him up with an activity before I nurse! I will definitely try that! Also great on the redirecting adivce. I actually just started doing that a bit more yesterday, and it did seem to help a little bit. 

Thanks again, I really, really appreciate it!!

[Deleted]

billyhorrible I'm dealing w the same issues with attention seeking. Thank you for the great advice. I never would have thought to redirect his attention in that way.