Post by theBeeMama on Jul 26, 2015 13:12:27 GMT -5
Okay ladies. I need to vent and also I want some advice. First you should know that I tend to be a pushover and people-pleaser. I am a fairly relaxed mom, I was the first time around and even more so now.
I really don't mind most people holding my baby, but there are a couple people at my church who I just cannot handle holding L. One of them is this really rude scary older lady who took L from me last week without even asking, tried to walk away with her, was throwing her up on her shoulder really rough and then laid her down on a hard, dirty pew and started stripping her clothes off to change her diaper!!! Then she barked at me to get diaper cream because she said she had a diaper rash... Which she didn't. After that encounter I found out from a mutual friend (who went to her house to help her with some handyman needs she had) that she is a massive hoarder, and that her house is like something off of Discovery channel... In a bad way. Also, I have known her for almost a year and (I am not exaggerating!!) I have never seen her wear a different outfit. Well, in the wintertime she wears pants instead of a denim skirt. But other than that it's the same exact clothes every single time I have ever seen her. How is that sanitary?
I just have major reservations about her holding my month old baby! Plus she's so rude and presumptive and treats me like I'm stupid, but she was never a mother and I already have a child. Not to say that she hasn't handled a lot of babies in her day, maybe she has. But as far as mothering MY OWN CHILDREN, I think I know what I'm doing better than some rando.
ANYWAY (can you tell I'm annoyed? Haha) today I had to sneak in and then out again trying to avoid seeing her because I felt like I wouldn't be able to say no if she tried to take L again. She did come find me once and thankfully my husband was standing there and he interjected "maybe later" because he knew I was internally panicking. But like I said, there are other people at church who I feel totally fine with holding her, because they're people I'm close with. I know it would seem super rude if other people are holding the baby and then I say no to her, but at the same time, I personally think it's kinda rude to ask to hold a newborn if you aren't close to the family or don't have a good feel for their boundaries.
I don't want to be mean and also it's super hard for me to say no, but I also hate that feeling of giving in and watching my baby get manhandled!! Ugh. I don't know what the appropriate thing is to do.
Thoughts and comments are appreciated. Sorry for the rant!
ETA- yowza, I typed this up in a hurry without proofreading and just realized HOW LONG it was. So, TL ; DR- how do you say no to rude people who you don't want holding your newborn?
I really don't mind most people holding my baby, but there are a couple people at my church who I just cannot handle holding L. One of them is this really rude scary older lady who took L from me last week without even asking, tried to walk away with her, was throwing her up on her shoulder really rough and then laid her down on a hard, dirty pew and started stripping her clothes off to change her diaper!!! Then she barked at me to get diaper cream because she said she had a diaper rash... Which she didn't. After that encounter I found out from a mutual friend (who went to her house to help her with some handyman needs she had) that she is a massive hoarder, and that her house is like something off of Discovery channel... In a bad way. Also, I have known her for almost a year and (I am not exaggerating!!) I have never seen her wear a different outfit. Well, in the wintertime she wears pants instead of a denim skirt. But other than that it's the same exact clothes every single time I have ever seen her. How is that sanitary?
I just have major reservations about her holding my month old baby! Plus she's so rude and presumptive and treats me like I'm stupid, but she was never a mother and I already have a child. Not to say that she hasn't handled a lot of babies in her day, maybe she has. But as far as mothering MY OWN CHILDREN, I think I know what I'm doing better than some rando.
ANYWAY (can you tell I'm annoyed? Haha) today I had to sneak in and then out again trying to avoid seeing her because I felt like I wouldn't be able to say no if she tried to take L again. She did come find me once and thankfully my husband was standing there and he interjected "maybe later" because he knew I was internally panicking. But like I said, there are other people at church who I feel totally fine with holding her, because they're people I'm close with. I know it would seem super rude if other people are holding the baby and then I say no to her, but at the same time, I personally think it's kinda rude to ask to hold a newborn if you aren't close to the family or don't have a good feel for their boundaries.
I don't want to be mean and also it's super hard for me to say no, but I also hate that feeling of giving in and watching my baby get manhandled!! Ugh. I don't know what the appropriate thing is to do.
Thoughts and comments are appreciated. Sorry for the rant!
ETA- yowza, I typed this up in a hurry without proofreading and just realized HOW LONG it was. So, TL ; DR- how do you say no to rude people who you don't want holding your newborn?