What have you learned so far?

[carolyngrace]

I'm curious what everyone feels like are the biggest lessons they've learned since becoming a mom. Mine is a specific baby sleep technique, but it doesn't have to be something like that!

I learned that you can OVER-comfort a tired baby. DB has been so much happier, and slept so much more, since I started swaddling and putting him in the crib as soon as he gets fussy and tired. I used to try and settle him down (bouncing, walking, shushing) before laying him in the crib, but it was over-stimulating him!

Which leads to the bigger thing I've learned: You have to try everything at least twice, because babies change by the day. What didn't work yesterday might work today, and might end up being the most helpful thing ever! 

[tiffbot]

Also second time around. Last time I learned I had to do what works for us, but would still always 'feel' like I'm doing it wrong or someone would judge me for something and it would always be in the back of my mind no matter how confident I was in my/our decision.

This time, I can honestly say I don't care about what anyone thinks. A lot of that comes from realizing most people really don't care what you are doing because they are all just getting by the way they need to as well, and a lot comes just from starting off more confident. We do what we need to do and we are a happy family because of it and at the end of the day that's the main goal!

[belle0720]

I've learned to wait a minute or so before changing Baby G's diaper after we hear her take a poo lol...there's a good chance she's going to continue on the changing table if not!

[carolyngrace]

belle0720, That's a very important one

[sugarkissed]

Jul 28, 2015 10:32:20 GMT -5 @hazeldublin said:

So second time around I've learned a crying baby isn't the end of the world. With DS if he cried I was on too of him immediately I didn't like him crying and wanted to settle him ASAP, with DD I let her cry and sort DS out because it's what I have to do and I'm ok with it!

Yes, this! It's amazed me how different I react this time. We were driving home the other day and DD2 was screaming in the backseat. I knew she'd just been fed and hates the carseat, so we kept driving the 10 minutes it took to get home.  With DD1 I would have pulled the car over and spent 40 minutes trying to make her happy again.  

[mathistm]

Always treat your perineum with the respect it deserves.

Trust your motherly instincts over a book, google, and unsolicited advice.

Breastfeeding is hardddd, but then it gets better.

Do something nice for yourself everyday.

Eff the haters.

[Deleted]

2nd time around I'm much more relaxed. I don't record any notes about when she poops,eats,sleeps. I do take a mental note of when she wakes up from her last nap so I can get an idea of how long her awake time is but thats it.

I'm also not controlling anymore with how DH or other people comfort her or hold her. What I have learned is what works for me comforting her will not necessarily work every time or with other people so it's better to give DH space and let him try to comfort her on his own rather then pounce every time she cries.

I am also trying as much as possible to live in the moment and enjoy even the hard days. the first time around I was overly concerned about returning to work and I didn't even check with HR about my legal rights as a new mom in California. I assumed when my FMLA ran out at 3 months that I had to return to work. I just sent an email to HR asking exactly when is the latest date I can return to work ( even if it's unpaid) and still have my job and she said October 5th. So I'm going ahead and taking the full 4 months off that I am legally allowed. It's my life, my baby and my time to care for both my kids right now. Work can wait

[mrskblack11]

Napping with your baby is more important than housework.

Baby wearing is a lifesaver.

Taking time for yourself, even if that just means a hot shower, is so refreshing.

There is no right way, it's whatever works for you and your baby.

[mrskblack11]

Ohhhh and FFS, DONT WAKE A SLEEPING BABY!

[musicfrk2002]

Sometimes he is going to cry for no reason at all. And that's okay.

Don't rush in to get them out of bed the second they make a noise. We have a noisy baby. And sometimes, all he wants is his binky back in his mouth.

You don't have to follow the "rules".

Try different things. Sometimes they just want a change of pace.

Just when you think they are done spitting up...they arent. Same with pooping.

H can handle things too, so I try and take at least one night a week where I leave the house alone...helps keep me sane the rest of the week.

When all else fails, bring him to grandma. It's a win-win situation here.

[mcp6286]

Swaddle. It's not mean. It will make both me and baby happier.

And I'd agree with being ok with letting her cry a little/not jumping to grab her the second she makes a tiny noise. It's still hard (FTM) but this morning I let her kick around and whine a little, and she ended up putting herself back to sleep for another 45 mins!

[Flick]

I've learned that I will do everything I can to make her happy. Including things I swore I never would such as bed sharing and letting her sleep in a dirty diaper.

I've learned not to get so wrapped up in baby land that I forget about showing SO the attention he deserves as well.

I've learned that netflix, hulu, and amazon instant video are my one true loves.

And lastly, I've learned that sometimes I'll wake up and miss the way my life was before baby, but one gas giggle from M reminds me why it's worth it.

[turtletyme]

There's nothing more beautiful than the sound of silence. Sometimes a 15 minute nap is good enough to get me through the afternoon. Most importantly, following the baby is key (as Flick said). I might not want her to nap for hours in the car seat, or in a poop diaper. I might not want to make a 1 Oz bottle every hour. But if that's what I gotta do, OK! It will all be different tomorrow anyway!

[txngrl31]

It's ok to mess up.

Agreed- unsolicited advice needs to be ignored most of the time. Do what works for your baby and family!

Formula feeding is not the end of the world.

[Deleted]

Gotta be a hater on the letting your baby sleep in a poop diaper. Pee is ok but poop no. Especially if you have a girl they can get a bladder infection and that is so painful for a baby to go through. It's not worth the sleep.

[mrsmonogrammed]

Breastfeeding is a HUGE commitment and not just "natural" at all. There's a lot of learning to be done! (Mom and baby)

I can push myself farther than I ever thought I could go when things get tough.

I'm a team "hold my baby" mom. I love DD and enjoy the hell out of her, but I also enjoy seeing how much other people enjoy/love her!

[bruunk]

That I do know what I'm doing. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to do this, but I can! Sometimes you live hour by hour, but tomorrow is a new day!

I've also learned that while I'm less of a worried than I thought I'd be (usually I am - DH worries about everything!).

[shahoi]

Breastfeeding is the absolute hardest thing I have ever done, hands down.

Baby farts sound like grown man farts, and smell like them too.

A binky is a lifesaver.

I never thought I'd want to be a stay at home mom, but now I wish I could.. at least for a couple of years.

Switching to formula does not mean I failed my daughter.

[jessila]

Sleep is a beautiful thing that I miss dearly but I know there's hope for the future even if it's in 5 years.

Being a mom is nothing like I ever could have imagined. It is an elite club that I feel so privileged to have joined.

Seeing DH become a dad has made me love him in a new way with lots of goo-goo eyes over our sweet boy.

The nights are loooong and the weeks are short.

Having (sleep) expectations just leads to disappointment, tears, and late night meltdowns.

Milestones are precious and bittersweet at the same time.

[baytosa2013]

I've learned that being a mom really is as hard as they say it is and that you truly cannot understand the love that you have for your baby until you have one. I totally get it now and take back all my huffy eye rolls!

I've learned that I want to stay home with my kid and I never thought I'd want to do that.

I learned that I AM a good mom even though I though I'd suck horribly at showing my feelings and being a lovey person to this baby. That just because my mom and I have a shitty relationship doesn't mean that my daughter and I will too.

[turtletyme]

@poppyc8 didn't know. Thank you!

[erbear]

Breastfed babies can take up to two weeks to poop!

Breastfeeding was hard but was worth the effort for us. I hope it's easy to pick back up when i get home because I've really learned to love it.

I've learned that my capacity to love was only scratching the surface before she was born. I had the immediate, overwhelming love for her & it is killing me being away from her right now. I was more concerned for who was taking care of her last night than my own surgery!

[thecatsmeow]

Being a FTM with zero baby experience, I've been learning everything as I go along! Well, I read a lot in preparation, but that just isn't the same.

Patience has been a big one. Baby wants what baby wants when baby wants it. Scheduling and reasoning don't work.

You'll be really worried at their loud breathing and crazy night noises. And even more worried when they are too quiet!

The swing is awesome for gas! Not sure what it is... positioning maybe? Swinging or not, vibrating or not, that thing makes him toot! And then fill his diaper, it also has a laxative effect.

Never thought gas and full diapers would make me so happy! On one hand he is eating well if the diapers are full. And I know his tummy feels better when things are coming out!

I am the now the world to one special little person... chopped liver to everyone else.

[stinybean]

I learned that mh is a baby hog!

I've also learned that as hard as the newborn stage is I wouldn't give it up for anything. I LOVE THIS LO!

[Deleted]

I have learned that every baby is very different and what you think you know after surviving the first baby is all out the window and you have to relearn things differently for the second.

[tulips114]

Jul 29, 2015 18:29:52 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

I have learned that every baby is very different and what you think you know after surviving the first baby is all out the window and you have to relearn things differently for the second.

And again for the third!

[mrsmonogrammed]

*snip*

Jul 29, 2015 10:58:27 GMT -5 thecatsmeow said:

The swing is awesome for gas! Not sure what it is... positioning maybe? Swinging or not, vibrating or not, that thing makes him toot! And then fill his diaper, it also has a laxative effect.

Never thought gas and full diapers would make me so happy!

I thought that my DD was the only one always poops in the swing! If I know she hasn't gone in a while I pop her in there and it almost always results in a dirty diaper!
It must be the position they lay in? Too funny!

[Bluedaisy]

I learned that sometimes it's ok to give up if it's best for everyone. For me giving up on breastfeeding almost killed me but it was best for us (I can't produce any milk). I had to realize that no matter how many books you read things might not happen like that. I still struggle with the not breastfeeding but it's getting better every day.

Also the "OMG this is the best thing ever I couldn't live without it" thing that your friend gives you might be totally and completely useless for your baby.

[Bluedaisy]

Oh also.....if you have long hair keeping hair ties in EVERY ROOM IN THE HOUSE!

[musicfrk2002]

Jul 31, 2015 14:29:27 GMT -5 Bluedaisy said:

Oh also.....if you have long hair keeping hair ties in EVERY ROOM IN THE HOUSE!

+1

Although I try to remember to get it pulled back before I pick J up, otherwise he usually gets a handful and refuses to let go