Post by texteachmom on Jul 30, 2015 9:06:37 GMT -5
I'm very confused about using opks and FF.
I've been charting for 4 months, using opks for 3. I seem to O on cd14 or cd15, confirmed by bbt. I get positive opks around cd13. Having to schedule sex sucks but we try to do it twice in the fertile week. Which days would you aim for? I think we're having timing issues. Do you wait until a positive opk to have sex or do you plan on o'ing on cd14 and have sex cd12, before the positive, and then again on cd 14 in case you run layer to day 15? See, I'm all confused. Oh, and if you can't tell, I'm very much a type A person. Haha.
I've been charting for 4 months, using opks for 3. I seem to O on cd14 or cd15, confirmed by bbt. I get positive opks around cd13. Having to schedule sex sucks but we try to do it twice in the fertile week. Which days would you aim for? I think we're having timing issues. Do you wait until a positive opk to have sex or do you plan on o'ing on cd14 and have sex cd12, before the positive, and then again on cd 14 in case you run layer to day 15? See, I'm all confused. Oh, and if you can't tell, I'm very much a type A person. Haha.
But, in the fertile window I would be trying to just keep up a pattern to sex -- many recommend every other dayrather than trying to time it just right to your OPKs / CHs. There still can be a lot of variation in the actual O time even with OPK and BBT confirmation. FF has a good article on this in their Q&A; basically the more (ETA) sex the better during that week.
Unfortunately since our bodies an do whatever they want, it's not always best to 'plan' for a certain O date.
I know different people have different methods. Some wait until they get +s on OPKs (or peak readings), some people just try to make sure they're having plenty of sex during what TENDS to be their O time. Some people choose not to schedule sex and take the risk at possibly missing their FW.
The idea behind an OPK is that it will turn positive with an LH surge. An LH surge will precede ovulation by 12 - 48 hours. Many woman wait until they get a positive to have sex. It's a nice heads up that ovulation may be coming. (OPKs do not confirm ovulation - they just say it's possible).
As long as you have sex between five days before ovulation to one day after (this is the fertile window), you have a chance of pregnancy. O-1 and O-2 sex lead to the most number of pregnancies, but not by a huge margin.
Scheduling sex is not even a little bit my thing. As long as we had sex in the fertile window at least once, then I'm happy.
I just HIO every other day until O is confirmed. Or every two days or whatever. We usually hit my FW at least once, which is really all you need so there's that.
When we were trying we would start more frequent sex when I noticed fertile CM, then I'd get a +OPK, then I'd get the temps. You can have multiple surges so the more things you can cross reference with the better
Post by risscaboobs on Jul 30, 2015 9:24:07 GMT -5
Hi texteachmom - I definitely recommend checking out our newbie blog if you haven't already. There's a great link of conception probability by date (found here). I used to O around CD14 as well. My husband and I would start having sex around CD10. We just did it as much as possible until my BBT confirmed ovulation, we aimed for EOD.
Post by thelittleredm on Jul 30, 2015 9:32:06 GMT -5
I will generally get one day of positive OPKs and it will happen within 24 hours of O'ing so I don't like just waiting for my OPK to be positive. Usually, I start seeing a change in CM first that slowly becomes more EW and that's when we start HIO.
But everyone is different and the signs can be different. I have a lack of EWCM so it was hard to pinpoint when I might enter my FW since my cycle lengths varied.
Yeah, I don't schedule sex with my husband, really. We have sex when we want to and when I think I'm about to O, based on CM or OPKs getting darker (so, not positive, because I don't get those), I might mention, "Hey, I think I'm gonna ovulate soon," and we'll have more sex if we feel like it or not if we don't.
Unfortunately, TTC isn't really a Type-A/Planner kind of activity. You can do everything right, all the time, and still not get two lines. Just do the best you can do, and try not to stress about timing and planning and all that jazz. Good luck. :)
Post by sleepymonkey on Jul 30, 2015 10:26:25 GMT -5
Our plan, and what we did this month, is EOD sex starting a few days before I expect to O or as soon as I notice fertile CM. Then once I get a +OPK, we switch to everyday until my temp spikes. I would have like to go back to EOD until I got my crosshairs, just to be safe, but that didn't happen. Because of my age and feeling I need to try to GKU ASAP, we feel better kind of scheduling sex just to be sure we have good timing.
Post by icaughtfire on Jul 30, 2015 10:31:13 GMT -5
We just have sex as usual & we usually hit a few days in the FW.
I generally O around CD 17. If I were the scheduled sex type, I'd start doing it around CD 13 until my temps confirmed O. I don't use OPKs because to me, they're a waste of money. I generally have pretty clear pre-O signs that are later confirmed by temping.
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
Usually for us we start making an effort to have more frequent sex when fertile CM shows up (lately about a week before O). We shoot for every other or every second day, and normally end up hitting at least one day in the window.
I wouldn't worry about timing issues unless you're not having sex at all in the five days leading up to O.
Post by shadesofgold on Jul 30, 2015 11:37:22 GMT -5
If you generally expect to O CD14-15 (like PP said, you can't plan to O), then you should try every other day sex starting CD10 or so. Or, it looks like last cycle you got watery CM on CD11 - that seems like a good indication to get to humping and starting OPKs.
This won't be the same for every cycle though. Expect to be confounded. For example, my last cycle I got watery CM starting CD10 but I didn't O until CD 21. So what I think is my fertile window stretched out over 10 days before I could turn an OPK positive. This is why EOD strategy is helpful - we don't too worn out on sex so we give up too quickly.
Also, don't assume you've O'd until you have cross-hairs, which FF will give you after 3 days of elevated temps.
In the beginning, I tried to plan everything out and have sex on "these" days, but it was just too stressful and wasn't fun. We just had it when we wanted to and then checked to see that it happened before I O'd. Sex is a lot more fun when you're not worrying about getting pregnant.
In the beginning, I tried to plan everything out and have sex on "these" days, but it was just too stressful and wasn't fun. We just had it when we wanted to and then checked to see that it happened before I O'd. Sex is a lot more fun when you're not worrying about getting pregnant.
In the beginning, I tried to plan everything out and have sex on "these" days, but it was just too stressful and wasn't fun. We just had it when we wanted to and then checked to see that it happened before I O'd. Sex is a lot more fun when you're not worrying about getting pregnant.
QFMFT
Annnnnnd that's why we don't schedule sex. Sex is fun, it's awesome, I love being close to my husband. My goal in sex is intimacy & orgasm(s). If we make a baby in the process, well high five!
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
I second what Rama said regarding type A/planning. We had great timing (at least 2+times in the fw) for 8 cycles and only got a bfp on one of them. It's a roll of the die each time. What is it guys- a 20% chance for a healthy couple to conceive each cycle? Try not to worry if it takes a while to happen- it certainly doesn't mean you are doing anything "wrong"
I second what Rama said regarding type A/planning. We had great timing (at least 2+times in the fw) for 8 cycles and only got a bfp on one of them. It's a roll of the die each time. What is it guys- a 20% chance for a healthy couple to conceive each cycle? Try not to worry if it takes a while to happen- it certainly doesn't mean you are doing anything "wrong"
Yup. ~20% chance to conceive each cycle, assuming good timing (hitting at least 1 day in the fertile week) and good reproductive health (no known fertility issues)
I second what Rama said regarding type A/planning. We had great timing (at least 2+times in the fw) for 8 cycles and only got a bfp on one of them. It's a roll of the die each time. What is it guys- a 20% chance for a healthy couple to conceive each cycle? Try not to worry if it takes a while to happen- it certainly doesn't mean you are doing anything "wrong"
It might take us awhile. Thank you for saying we're not doing anything wrong. Sometimes I feel like we might be. So thank you.
Post by texteachmom on Jul 30, 2015 14:08:59 GMT -5
I get that it's not exactly ideal to pick days of the week to have sex. In the 15 years we've been together, never had a huge amount of sex. For awhile we were once a week type and then for awhile it was maybe one a month. Our lives are very busy. Dh has a job where some weeks he's home everyday and some not at all. Next month he'll be gone for about 6 to 8 weeks. Solo parenting here I come. So while it'd be great to just have lots of sex all the time, our schedule doesn't permit that. I have to tell him when my fertile week is so that he can try to move his schedule to at least be home a few days for that. This isn't my ideal but we want a sibling for dd.
I get that it's not exactly ideal to pick days of the week to have sex. In the 15 years we've been together, never had a huge amount of sex. For awhile we were once a week type and then for awhile it was maybe one a month. Our lives are very busy. Dh has a job where some weeks he's home everyday and some not at all. Next month he'll be gone for about 6 to 8 weeks. Solo parenting here I come. So while it'd be great to just have lots of sex all the time, our schedule doesn't permit that. I have to tell him when my fertile week is so that he can try to move his schedule to at least be home a few days for that. This isn't my ideal but we want a sibling for dd.
I get where you're coming from. H and I are the same way - busy, stressed out and neither of us have the highest sex drive to begin with. But what I've discovered is that even though we don't have sex often, trying to schedule it even a little bit just leads to even less sex because we both end up feeling like it's an obligation. This past cycle we were both so tired and busy that we ended up having sex just once in the window - on O day.
Basically, just try not to beat yourself up if you miss the window, or it takes longer than you think.
I get that it's not exactly ideal to pick days of the week to have sex. In the 15 years we've been together, never had a huge amount of sex. For awhile we were once a week type and then for awhile it was maybe one a month. Our lives are very busy. Dh has a job where some weeks he's home everyday and some not at all. Next month he'll be gone for about 6 to 8 weeks. Solo parenting here I come. So while it'd be great to just have lots of sex all the time, our schedule doesn't permit that. I have to tell him when my fertile week is so that he can try to move his schedule to at least be home a few days for that. This isn't my ideal but we want a sibling for dd.
Me & my husband work completely opposite schedules. You don't need a "ton of sex" to get pregnant. You need to hit one day within a 5 day window.
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
I get that it's not exactly ideal to pick days of the week to have sex. In the 15 years we've been together, never had a huge amount of sex. For awhile we were once a week type and then for awhile it was maybe one a month. Our lives are very busy. Dh has a job where some weeks he's home everyday and some not at all. Next month he'll be gone for about 6 to 8 weeks. Solo parenting here I come. So while it'd be great to just have lots of sex all the time, our schedule doesn't permit that. I have to tell him when my fertile week is so that he can try to move his schedule to at least be home a few days for that. This isn't my ideal but we want a sibling for dd.
I get where you're coming from. H and I are the same way - busy, stressed out and neither of us have the highest sex drive to begin with. But what I've discovered is that even though we don't have sex often, trying to schedule it even a little bit just leads to even less sex because we both end up feeling like it's an obligation. This past cycle we were both so tired and busy that we ended up having sex just once in the window - on O day.
Basically, just try not to beat yourself up if you miss the window, or it takes longer than you think.
Exactly this. texteachmom, we're just now getting back to sex being fun. We were burned out and seriously considering taking a TTC break a few months ago. Making sure that we were having sex in my FW was stressing us both out and it just wasn't fun. We're actually having more now than we did when we thought sex was how you got pregnant.
I get that it's not exactly ideal to pick days of the week to have sex. In the 15 years we've been together, never had a huge amount of sex. For awhile we were once a week type and then for awhile it was maybe one a month. Our lives are very busy. Dh has a job where some weeks he's home everyday and some not at all. Next month he'll be gone for about 6 to 8 weeks. Solo parenting here I come. So while it'd be great to just have lots of sex all the time, our schedule doesn't permit that. I have to tell him when my fertile week is so that he can try to move his schedule to at least be home a few days for that. This isn't my ideal but we want a sibling for dd.
My husband and I are the same way -- we're just not hugely sexual people. We've only been having so much sex since we started TTC, tbh. Otherwise, we just...don't.
When we decided we wanted to have a kid, we had to have a serious heart-to-heart about what the other needed to make sex happen more often. Not just what he needed from me, but what I needed from him, too. We both needed to commit to making more of an effort to take advantage of the opportunities we got. Having a busy schedule is definitely not ideal -- I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to be away from him for such an extended length of time -- but I know you can make it work.
How many days does your husband get to come home while he's away? It doesn't have to be -2 or -1 or O day. It can, seriously, be -5 or -4, too. We've had grads that conceived on cycles where that's ALL they got.
I get it's hard and I understand more about why you'd like to plan your sex life. Try not to feel too bad about the circumstances you can't control; you're doing your best and that's, really, all you can control when TTC. *hugs* Good luck.
I get that it's not exactly ideal to pick days of the week to have sex. In the 15 years we've been together, never had a huge amount of sex. For awhile we were once a week type and then for awhile it was maybe one a month. Our lives are very busy. Dh has a job where some weeks he's home everyday and some not at all. Next month he'll be gone for about 6 to 8 weeks. Solo parenting here I come. So while it'd be great to just have lots of sex all the time, our schedule doesn't permit that. I have to tell him when my fertile week is so that he can try to move his schedule to at least be home a few days for that. This isn't my ideal but we want a sibling for dd.
My husband and I are the same way -- we're just not hugely sexual people. We've only been having so much sex since we started TTC, tbh. Otherwise, we just...don't.
When we decided we wanted to have a kid, we had to have a serious heart-to-heart about what the other needed to make sex happen more often. Not just what he needed from me, but what I needed from him, too. We both needed to commit to making more of an effort to take advantage of the opportunities we got. Having a busy schedule is definitely not ideal -- I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to be away from him for such an extended length of time -- but I know you can make it work.
How many days does your husband get to come home while he's away? It doesn't have to be -2 or -1 or O day. It can, seriously, be -5 or -4, too. We've had grads that conceived on cycles where that's ALL they got.
I get it's hard and I understand more about why you'd like to plan your sex life. Try not to feel too bad about the circumstances you can't control; you're doing your best and that's, really, all you can control when TTC. *hugs* Good luck.
Thank you. Maybe we need a serious talk about how to get more in. Then maybe I wouldn't feel so pressed to make it happen during FW. Good idea.
He's been home lately, which is good for many reasons. This month he was slated to leave this week but when I told him it was FW, he moved a few things around. So he's home this week. It really all depends on his job schedule. Some months he's home 3 weeks and gone one. It's all random. Sometimes he can move meetings, sometimes he can't.
If things don't pan out this week, we'll have to have that serious talk. Thanks again.
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