TTMA Independent Play

[littlemissmarla]

I know I have brought this up before .. I have a lot of mommy guilt when it comes to leaving Zoey alone to play on her own if I have to do something. She never complains and plays really well by herself but I am constantly plagued by this urge to be next to and interact with her.


How much time should they be playing on their own? I think I mainly feel guilty because she's with me all day and it's not as if she's in a day care setting where she gets to play with other kids (even though at this age it's kind of mainly parallel play). 


Anyone feel like sharing their schedules or if you have certain time set aside for activities or if it's just a free for all! 

[isolemnlyswear]

Cece is with me all day too. I try and do 20-30 minutes of her just doing her thing an hour. With baby #2 on the way I need her not to be attached to me.

We do have library time on Monday and do play group Thursday so she sees other kids twice a week at least.

[surfmama106]

Well my schedule for the summer goes something like this...
7:30 wake up
8:00-9:00 morning walk
9:00 breakfast
9:30-10:30 play
During play I always start out playing with her, building blocks, little people house, puzzles, reading books. But usually after about 20-30 min I bow out and let her have at the toys on her own. Sometimes she plays with the dogs, sometimes she just preoccupies herself with something and plays for a little on her own. She also likes walking from one end of the room to the other.

10:30-12:30 nap

1:00 snack/lunch
1:30 afternoon activity
This can be as simple as a target run or visit my mom and go in her pool, sometimes a play date with my friend and her daughter (1 month older) or meet my friends at the beach.

3:00 lunch/snack

3:30/4 - 5 afternoon nap
This is hit or miss depending on what our afternoon activity is. For example today we didn't take one and I'm sure she'll be super fuss ball in about an hour. It's getting harder and harder to do an afternoon nap.

5:30 dinner
6:00-6:30 play
Here I usually let my DH play with her and he really plays doesn't let her mess around on her own.

6:30 bath
7:00 bed

I will say this, even when we are actively playing with her she's more just focused on her own thing. I try and let her play with whatever she's interested in (she really loves this picture book of words and she'll point at each animal/food/toy and say "da" like she's naming them) and then when she's done with it and moves on to something else I'll try and focus on that.

[littlemissmarla]

Jul 31, 2015 15:48:38 GMT -5 isolemnlyswear said:

Cece is with me all day too. I try and do 20-30 minutes of her just doing her thing an hour. With baby #2 on the way I need her not to be attached to me.

We do have library time on Monday and do play group Thursday so she sees other kids twice a week at least.

Oh I like the idea of being more conscious of each hour rather than me trying to figure out the whole day.!

[hurricanerek]

I have dd with me all day too. Tbh I would define my role as 'keep her out of trouble' rather than playmate. Usually I just follow her around the house and pull her away from things she cannot have.

When I sit down to play with her, she will always spend that time crawling all over me. Most of the time she will entertain herself but when she starts climbing up my legs, that's how she tells me that she's ready to spend time with me.

[anotherdreamer]

Maybe a FFC but I don't really pay attention to how much alone/together time we have? Like right now the kids are just running around together playing, and playing independently from each other. DS was very into independent play as a younger toddler too. We do things together during the day: meals, we sit and read books at night and often in the morning, play together sporadically. Other than that I kind of leave it up to them, I'm in the room usually (unless cleaning/cooking/etc) so they all know where I am if they want me.

[littlemissmarla]

My schedule used to be similar to surfmama106 but recently we decided to drop two naps and move to one, which is working out better for her sleep wise but I'm having a hard time finding things to keep her entertained with the extra time. It also doesn't help that it's been so ungodly hot out. I wish she would be more interested in her water table or kiddie pool.. She is interested for 5min and then over it lol.

[surfmama106]

littlemissmarla, if we don't leave the house after morning nap/lunch I'm literally spinning with no idea how I'm going to keep her entertained until afternoon nap/ DH gets home. And if we don't go down for afternoon nap and I'm not leaving the house, I'm screwed. I seriously have to plan something for everyday. Going to target is a planned event.

[dawnfire]

Elias goes to DC, but on the weekends he seems pretty attached to DH or I being a part of his playtime. We put him down with lots of different stuff to play with, but he starts to get upset pretty quickly if we're not right there with him. I don't know how much of that is due to his lack of mobility, though. I think if he could get around better like he might play more on his own.

[liziz]

I usually start her off playing/get her interested in something, and then go do whatever I need to. She'll let me know if she needs to be with me by screeching or finding my legs to climb up. It's typically afternoon when this happens, so she just wants us to be with her.
On weekends, she's happy to play by herself for a long time, especially if we're in the room.

[littlemissmarla]

Jul 31, 2015 16:18:07 GMT -5 dawnfire said:

Elias goes to DC, but on the weekends he seems pretty attached to DH or I being a part of his playtime. We put him down with lots of different stuff to play with, but he starts to get upset pretty quickly if we're not right there with him. I don't know how much of that is due to his lack of mobility, though. I think if he could get around better like he might play more on his own.

This was Zoey up until a few weeks ago, well she would cry if she was tired if sitting or laying or whatnot. Once she figured out how to sit herself up she's been more independent, once Elias gets the hang of moving around I bet he won't be as clingy.

[lea]

If he's content playing independently, I don't feel guilty letting him be. If he wants me, he lets me know.

I had the same guilt with DS1 that you have and then it took him until he was like 4 to ever want to play by himself (which might just be his personality). I already get the sense that DS2 is more like me in that he prefers to be left to his own a bit.

We didn't really start doing things like Kindermusik until DS1 was about 18 months. I think it was a good age to start. He's very social now and loves being around other kids so being home a lot the first 18 months didn't stunt him too much in that aspect, thank goodness, haha.

[gingergrant]

My goal everyday is for little one to spend as much time as possible playing on his own, engaged in creative play. I don't want him to look to me (or other adults) for his entertainment. That said,of course I play with him, when he asks. He will bring a ball over, or a hammer or a car, and we will play with it together for a little bit, but when he looses interest in that, I let him go his own way again. Most of my childhood was characterized by freedom and imagination and I want to give him as much of that as I can. I will not be a helicopter, even when we're home alone together.

He also follows me around, "helps" me cook, clean, work on my class prep and I try to engage him in those activities. But ultimately I want him engaged in imaginative play on his own, or watching PBS, which is great both for talking to kids about emotions and helping them start to learn their letters and numbers.

[lucanjo14]

I have so much stress about this. It's hard filling the day! I try to be on his level and playing/reading/tickling as much as possible. Sometimes he just goes from room to room exploring/getting into things and I sit back and let him or try and wash bottles or dishes. I get mom guilt so easily about whether or not I'm playing/stimulating him enough.

[missilini]

I was just thinking about this. I've been feeling guilty. I worry that I don't interact with her as much. We have play time and I'll read a few stories, but a lot of time she is playing by herself. I'm always in the room with her so when she comes over we interact. She does really well playing with her toys. I worry I'm on my phone too much. I've been trying to keep it away when she is awake so I can focus on her.

[honeybee434]

I have the opposite situation and I try to encourage her to play on her own as much as she can. She likes to come back to me a LOT, so Im not worried about me not interacting with her, I'm more worried about her learning to entertain herself for a decent amount of time. She has a crazy short attention span, goes from one toy to the next in a matter of minutes, and I want her to learn how to be independent without me to entertain her constantly when we are at home.

[littlemissmarla]

Aug 1, 2015 8:01:25 GMT -5 missilini said:

I was just thinking about this. I've been feeling guilty. I worry that I don't interact with her as much. We have play time and I'll read a few stories, but a lot of time she is playing by herself. I'm always in the room with her so when she comes over we interact. She does really well playing with her toys. I worry I'm on my phone too much. I've been trying to keep it away when she is awake so I can focus on her.

This is exactly how I feel! 

[Leapinglizards]

I also spend way too much time especially in the morning on my phone or watching tv while she plays. I hit my stride in the afternoon and normally make up for it. I am actually canceling TV because sometimes I can zone out to it. She is happy and I clap for her and encourage her to play on her own. Especially now she won't leave my side at any social activity

[littlemissmarla]

I feel very guilty about being on my phone, I feel as though using my phone to check in here or on FB is pretty much the bulk of my adult interaction haha. I'm not too bad with watching TV for myself, I will try to catch up on a show while I eat breakfast on the floor but usually I don't get to finish. We do always have the TV, majority of the time it's on the toddler tunes station which is driving me nuts.

[mamanorris]

I have always left both boys to play independently for large chunks of the day. I do read, play games and engage them but for the most part I leave them alone. I think it has helped Jack become super independent at playtime and lennon is following in his footsteps. I think it's good for them to be able to entertain themselves, hopefully they won't whine about being bored. That's one of my parenting pet peeves.

[lea]

I really need to be conscious of my phone use, too. Sometimes I suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out) but really it's just that most days, like some of you, it's my only connection to the outside/adult world. My small talk with the cashiers at Target and the 19-year-old gay guy at the Dunkin drive-thru who calls me sweetpea only fill a small piece of that void.

[surfmama106]

Lainey has been occupying herself for about a half hour. I actually think it's amazing. I just stare at her thinking wow, she's so smart. Look at her trying to figure out how things work. It really is fascinating. She picks up each puzzle piece and studies it. Pulls everything out of her toy chest. Takes apart the ring stacker and wears each ring as a bangle bracelet. And she just found her little camelbak water bottle I just got her and is taking a little sip, puts it down moves over to the next area to try something new. I just love to watch her. And yes I'm on my phone. But she's happy so I don't feel bad. At least not today.