Post by breandmikebaby on Jan 25, 2015 18:09:00 GMT -5
My family purposely didn't tell me that my sil was pregnant. I found out via someone else's post on Facebook. I'm obviously not close to my sil but still don't understand why it was a big secret. I'm going to my mom's today. Do you think I should bring it up or ignore it?
Post by theresat858 on Jan 25, 2015 18:38:22 GMT -5
How far along is she? Was the other person who posted on FB maybe not supposed to mention it yet?
We didn't tell my SIL/bro or extended family until after my NT scan this time. But we told my parents very early as well as my bff. I would have been pissed if they had posted on FB or otherwise spilled the secret because it really sucks to have to "untell".
But I didn't ever post on FB about this pregnancy. Just that oh, by the way, here's my new baby.
How far along is she? Was the other person who posted on FB maybe not supposed to mention it yet?
We didn't tell my SIL/bro or extended family until after my NT scan this time. But we told my parents very early as well as my bff. I would have been pissed if they had posted on FB or otherwise spilled the secret because it really sucks to have to "untell".
But I didn't ever post on FB about this pregnancy. Just that oh, by the way, here's my new baby.
This. And I sent out Christmas cards Then the WTF calls and FB messages started "what?! I didn't know you guys were expecting..." um... Maybe you should come visit us more often then...
That is so weird. Like they knee you would eventually find out. It is not like she just had a mole removed.
I would almost be tempted to see how long you can play dumb. See how many times they slip up.
They have kept it quiet for 9 months. She just delivered last week. I suspected she might be pregnant two weeks ago and found out for sure 4 days before she delivered.
How far along is she? Was the other person who posted on FB maybe not supposed to mention it yet?
We didn't tell my SIL/bro or extended family until after my NT scan this time. But we told my parents very early as well as my bff. I would have been pissed if they had posted on FB or otherwise spilled the secret because it really sucks to have to "untell".
But I didn't ever post on FB about this pregnancy. Just that oh, by the way, here's my new baby.
She delivered last week. I would understand if she was early and hadn't announced yet.
I'd come right out and say it. "Oh, I saw on Facebook you're expecting. Congratulations!" Just to see what they say.
I was going to say this. But then....she already delivered. I don't really have any good advice. But that's super weird. Why would the family keep it from you?
It's hard to say what I would do without knowing the back story of your relationship, but I would probably either continue to not bring it up, since they don't seem to care if you know. Or, buy them a super sweet gift and hope that they feel awkward about it.
How far along is she? Was the other person who posted on FB maybe not supposed to mention it yet?
We didn't tell my SIL/bro or extended family until after my NT scan this time. But we told my parents very early as well as my bff. I would have been pissed if they had posted on FB or otherwise spilled the secret because it really sucks to have to "untell".
But I didn't ever post on FB about this pregnancy. Just that oh, by the way, here's my new baby.
She delivered last week. I would understand if she was early and hadn't announced yet.
Ah I missed this in reading your OP. That's really freakin weird. Could they have been worried about a possible complication with the baby?
Post by lindseyione on Jan 25, 2015 21:36:07 GMT -5
I would just tell them Congratulations. Some people don't feel comfortable discussing their pregnancy online and maybe she didn't even think to tell you because you aren't close. I would be a little upset regardless though.
I'd come right out and say it. "Oh, I saw on Facebook you're expecting. Congratulations!" Just to see what they say.
I was going to say this. But then....she already delivered. I don't really have any good advice. But that's super weird. Why would the family keep it from you?
It's hard to say what I would do without knowing the back story of your relationship, but I would probably either continue to not bring it up, since they don't seem to care if you know. Or, buy them a super sweet gift and hope that they feel awkward about it.
Sorry that your SIL sucks!
I have no idea why they kept it from me, but everyone did. My mom, aunts, grandpa and cousin. I have lunch every week with my grandpa and aunt and they never said anything.
I was going to say this. But then....she already delivered. I don't really have any good advice. But that's super weird. Why would the family keep it from you?
It's hard to say what I would do without knowing the back story of your relationship, but I would probably either continue to not bring it up, since they don't seem to care if you know. Or, buy them a super sweet gift and hope that they feel awkward about it.
Sorry that your SIL sucks!
I have no idea why they kept it from me, but everyone did. My mom, aunts, grandpa and cousin. I have lunch every week with my grandpa and aunt and they never said anything.
That would definitely hurt my feelings. Sorry you're having to deal with that. I would maybe ask you're mom if she knows why they never told you. Hope you can get some answers.
Post by breandmikebaby on Jan 25, 2015 21:58:17 GMT -5
It's also baffling to me because my mom will tell me other things about them even though we aren't close like what their other kids got for christmas, where they are going for vacation, etc.
Post by breandmikebaby on Jan 25, 2015 22:02:48 GMT -5
Btw, I went to my mom's and didn't bring it up. She even talked to me about my cousin who is also pregnant and due last week but said nothing about my sil. I think I might wait a while and see if she eventually tells me. I mean, he's a human so it's not like he's a short term addition to their family.
That is such an odd situation. If it goes on a long time and no one says anything I would say something about wondering if SIL will have kids soon. Kinda puts it out there without saying 'I Know you haven't told me'
It is really weird. I would probably be all passive aggressive about it, cause I am like that, but of course that may not help. Personally I would probably send a small gift and say congratulations and pretend it didn't bother me. But that is my weird way of dealing with it. The other part of me would have a wine, call my mom and be like WTF I am probably no help, sorry you are going through this. I hate family drama like that.
Yeah, this is just weird. I would be pissed if I were you. I had a similar situation happen with my cousin. He announced his wife's pregnancy on FB around 3 months and then I never heard about it again. I figured they were just being quiet about it on social media but then I went to visit my aunt about a month before their LO was due and even though we talked about them she didn't say a word about the pregnancy. I didn't get invited to the baby shower and then LO's due date came and went and I didn't get a birth announcement or anything. I didn't even know if they had a boy or a girl. I worried that maybe something had gone wrong with the pregnancy. I was afraid to ask in case something had gone wrong. But of course everything was ok, they just just chose not to include me. It really hurt my feelings being excluded because they are on my dads side of the family and I feel like they all kind of abandoned me after he died. I made a point of making sure they were all aware of my pregnancy and DD's birth and I honestly hope it made them feel a little guilty.
Sorry for the personal rant, I just wanted to say that I kind of have an idea how you feel. Your situation is worse though, if SIL and my mom or inlaws were keeping secrets like this from me I don't know what I'd do.
Yeah, this is just weird. I would be pissed if I were you. I had a similar situation happen with my cousin. He announced his wife's pregnancy on FB around 3 months and then I never heard about it again. I figured they were just being quiet about it on social media but then I went to visit my aunt about a month before their LO was due and even though we talked about them she didn't say a word about the pregnancy. I didn't get invited to the baby shower and then LO's due date came and went and I didn't get a birth announcement or anything. I didn't even know if they had a boy or a girl. I worried that maybe something had gone wrong with the pregnancy. I was afraid to ask in case something had gone wrong. But of course everything was ok, they just just chose not to include me. It really hurt my feelings being excluded because they are on my dads side of the family and I feel like they all kind of abandoned me after he died. I made a point of making sure they were all aware of my pregnancy and DD's birth and I honestly hope it made them feel a little guilty.
Sorry for the personal rant, I just wanted to say that I kind of have an idea how you feel. Your situation is worse though, if SIL and my mom or inlaws were keeping secrets like this from me I don't know what I'd do.
Yeah, this is just weird. I would be pissed if I were you. I had a similar situation happen with my cousin. He announced his wife's pregnancy on FB around 3 months and then I never heard about it again. I figured they were just being quiet about it on social media but then I went to visit my aunt about a month before their LO was due and even though we talked about them she didn't say a word about the pregnancy. I didn't get invited to the baby shower and then LO's due date came and went and I didn't get a birth announcement or anything. I didn't even know if they had a boy or a girl. I worried that maybe something had gone wrong with the pregnancy. I was afraid to ask in case something had gone wrong. But of course everything was ok, they just just chose not to include me. It really hurt my feelings being excluded because they are on my dads side of the family and I feel like they all kind of abandoned me after he died. I made a point of making sure they were all aware of my pregnancy and DD's birth and I honestly hope it made them feel a little guilty.
Sorry for the personal rant, I just wanted to say that I kind of have an idea how you feel. Your situation is worse though, if SIL and my mom or inlaws were keeping secrets like this from me I don't know what I'd do.
Did you ever figure out why they didn't tell you?
I never asked but honestly I think it just didn't occur to them that I would care. They have never gotten along with my mom and I'm an only child so without my dad I kind of feel like I've just been forgotten.
I never asked but honestly I think it just didn't occur to them that I would care. They have never gotten along with my mom and I'm an only child so without my dad I kind of feel like I've just been forgotten.
Post by breandmikebaby on Jan 27, 2015 3:25:43 GMT -5
My brother and my relationship was never great but it got really bad after my dad died. My brother took everything he could of my dad's and sold it and kept the money. I have nothing of my dad's. We put my dad's ashes at our "family" cabin that my dad loved and now my brother won't let me go there and even though my mom owns it, she won't go against my brother and let me go. My brother had my mom put a ton of money down on a house for him that my mom was also going to live in. She also spent a lot of money on upgrades and renovations and then my brother kicked her out after two years and kept the money. My mom now can't retire because she has to pay for another house to live in and a big chunk of her money is in my brother's house.
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