Post by TheEleventhHour on Jan 25, 2015 21:01:28 GMT -5
Hugs mama! I know it can be hard. My cycles have been weird recently so when my period comes later than usual it always flies through my brain "What if I'm pregnant?!" even though it is nearly impossible and then when AF starts I'm still thinking about another kid. I am 99% sure but I don't think I can be 100% until the age gap between DS and a second would be too big if that makes sense.
I go through this too. Sometimes I'm very confident in our decision and other times I think about being a family four, having a pregnancy and being present for the newborn phase (not struggling with PPD/PPA.
I go through this too. Sometimes I'm very confident in our decision and other times I think about being a family four, having a pregnancy and being present for the newborn phase (not struggling with PPD/PPA.
It's a pretty big decision. You shouldn't be too hard on yourself for not being 100% all the time.
I've been wavering a bit more lately. Not sure why but I just let it be because it usually passes quickly.
This. It's a big decision so there's nothing wrong with wavering. I'm 99.9999% sure I'm OAD and I still occaisionally have days where I think maybe I could have another. Don't beat yourself up.
I can so relate. This is a huge decision, and it only makes sense that you'd look at it from many perspectives, wonder about your decisions and motivations, and maybe even worry a bit. Nothing wrong with that - even if it is uncomfortable.
*hugs* I'm sorry you're struggling with the unknown. I would probably struggle in the same situation, so I understand. I'm a planner also. Family size is a HUGE deal and decision, one that shouldn't be taken lightly. So as hard as it is for you to waver, it's totally normal for most people. And I'm sure all the fence sitters can relate!
Sorry you're having a rough time. Apart from being a planner, anything else that makes you feel like you should be/have to be/ want to be 100% sure right now? Any chance of packing up that subject in a pretty box an reopen by the time YH is done with school? From what you've said earlier, I remember there were many uncertainties regarding your situation by that time (job prospects etc.). If you feel your decision would depend on the circumstances in a few years, your frustration might have more to do with the uncertainty in general.
Post by BostonKisses on Jan 26, 2015 8:47:22 GMT -5
Hugs. I'm a planner too, so I can see how this would bug you. And I think it's common to go back and forth, and not always be 100%. Some people know they are, and that's awesome. For others, they're going to go back and forth a bit, and that's ok too.
Post by helenahhandbasket on Jan 26, 2015 8:52:57 GMT -5
I understand-- but there's really not much that we can plan-- so many parts of our lives (generally) are always going to be in flux.
It's ok to question, re-evaluate. I mean, even if you did decide right this second to try for another-- nothing is guaranteed. (not to sound pessimistic).
Post by queenbabee on Jan 26, 2015 14:24:09 GMT -5
I hear ya! DH and I both are OAD, but we both have our moments. He swears I'm going to change my mind. If I do, we will talk then. How does your DH feel about it?
I hear ya! DH and I both are OAD, but we both have our moments. He swears I'm going to change my mind. If I do, we will talk then. How does your DH feel about it?
Right now he's leaning toward oad, but has said he might like to have another. I think he's mostly following my lead...
That's tough. ((hugs)) I was feeling that way for a while too and at one point I thought I was pregnant again and was happy about it, but I wasn't and a few weeks later and every day since I am feeling a lot more confident about being OAD.
I can't relate to the exact sentiment but I can relate to wanting to be sure for the planner in you. The nice thing is that you don't need to be sure every day. Up until the age of 25 I was sure I wanted 2-4 kids. From 24-32 I was sure I wanted 0 kids. From 32-34 I was sure I wanted 2 kids. After having DD at 34 I am now sure I only want 1 kid.
I guess what I'm trying to say is who knows what sure means anyway?
Post by sandandsea on Jan 26, 2015 23:50:15 GMT -5
I just hopped off the fence after sitting there 4 years. For me the final decision weighed heavily on the distant future. I know the first few years will be really hard. But I realized that in 30 years I would feel sad that ds didn't have a sibling. Especially when DH and I are elderly and have to somewhat rely on him. My fil has Alzheimer's and it's been very nice for my mil to have DH and bil for support. And it's been nice that they have each other. Of course there's no guarantee siblings will be close but our hope and plan is that they will be and we will try to raise them as a close knit family. Idk if that makes any sense but it weighed heavily into my personal decision.
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