Post by lunatinuviel on Jan 27, 2015 13:58:37 GMT -5
Hi! I'm 31 DH is 36 we have been married for 8 yrs and have a 5.5 month old boy. I was raised catholic and my husband side of the family are Jehovah witnesses he no longer practice that faith even before I meet him. We always celebrated holidays since before getting married so it's not a big deal except that we live in the USA and we are both Mexican so we always go back "home" for Christmas. It is a little bit challenge while we are there bc of my in-laws.
Hello! toratoratori let me know that this page was started, and I'm happy about this! I'm in Seattle, DH and I are both from Eastern WA originally. I'm Jewish, and grew up doing Jewish summer camp, USY, and Hillel in college, so it's an important part of my identity although I'm not particularly observant. DH was raised Christian but isn't observant. We've decided to raise our daughter with Jewish traditions, although we do celebrate xmas morning with my in-laws as a way to participate in his family's traditions. We have definitely had some issues in the past with them, but I'm working hard to educate them and help them feel comfortable with Jewish traditions. It's been quite a bit better since my daughter's baby naming in October, which I think made them feel more comfortable with the whole situation. I'm sure I'll have some stories to share at some point, though. Looking forward to getting to know you all. Cheers!
PS- I swear I already posted this, but pb disagrees. Sorry if you see it twice.
I'm definitely a fan of the PNW, but you have to be able to live with a lot of rain. There are rural areas and big cities, depending on which you prefer, or you can live in the suburbs and enjoy the best of both worlds. For those of you who are like us (one spouse is a city person and the other a country person) it's a great compromise ;-)
Post by packerfan4life on Jan 27, 2015 17:51:46 GMT -5
I'm excited that this board exists. My H and I are both in our late-20s, white, and grew up in the suburbs of the midwest. Neither of us were raised in a particularly religious household, although we both identify as Christian. After 2 years of IF we welcomed our beautiful, now 4 month old daughter, who is black, through adoption. We're still pretty early in figuring out how to live as an interracial family. We have gotten a number of - "that's not your baby is it?" Right now we live in a predominantly white and LDS community (although our group of friends is relatively diverse including people of Indian, Caucasion, African, Asian, and Hispanic descent), so I'm interested to see what/if any issues we face as our daughter gets older.
I'm definitely a fan of the PNW, but you have to be able to live with a lot of rain. There are rural areas and big cities, depending on which you prefer, or you can live in the suburbs and enjoy the best of both worlds. For those of you who are like us (one spouse is a city person and the other a country person) it's a great compromise ;-)
We're a city / country split, too! One of these days, I'm going to get him to agree to move to West Seattle. It's going to happen!
I'm excited that this board exists. My H and I are both in our late-20s, white, and grew up in the suburbs of the midwest. Neither of us were raised in a particularly religious household, although we both identify as Christian. After 2 years of IF we welcomed our beautiful, now 4 month old daughter, who is black, through adoption. We're still pretty early in figuring out how to live as an interracial family. We have gotten a number of - "that's not your baby is it?" Right now we live in a predominantly white and LDS community (although our group of friends is relatively diverse including people of Indian, Caucasion, African, Asian, and Hispanic descent), so I'm interested to see what/if any issues we face as our daughter gets older.
That has to be incredibly challenging, especially if she hears those comments.
I don't know if this is any consolation, but a friend of mine who is white has a son who is half-black. His dad is no longer in the picture, and she gets a lot of "Is that your baby?" and "Is he adopted?" even though he's her biological child AND looks just like her (except for skin color, obviously)!
I'm excited that this board exists. My H and I are both in our late-20s, white, and grew up in the suburbs of the midwest. Neither of us were raised in a particularly religious household, although we both identify as Christian. After 2 years of IF we welcomed our beautiful, now 4 month old daughter, who is black, through adoption. We're still pretty early in figuring out how to live as an interracial family. We have gotten a number of - "that's not your baby is it?" Right now we live in a predominantly white and LDS community (although our group of friends is relatively diverse including people of Indian, Caucasion, African, Asian, and Hispanic descent), so I'm interested to see what/if any issues we face as our daughter gets older.
That has to be incredibly challenging, especially if she hears those comments.
I don't know if this is any consolation, but a friend of mine who is white has a son who is half-black. His dad is no longer in the picture, and she gets a lot of "Is that your baby?" and "Is he adopted?" even though he's her biological child AND looks just like her (except for skin color, obviously)!
I can imagine that is incredibly frustrating for her and her son. People say the dumbest things. Hopefully through the years I'll perfect a response to that will help strengthen our daughter's self-esteem as the important and natural part of our family that she is.
Hi! I'm 26, white, and very relaxed Christian and DH is 28, Puerto Rican, and raised in an extremely traditional and conservative Catholic home. We're expecting our first in July and currently live on the most southern edge of NoVa. We moved from DC about a year and a half ago. Our families have been pretty supportive but DH's parents are definitely disappointed in a lot of the choices we've made. His mother makes a lot of (I think unintentionally) hurtful comments (DH's brother would be SO much happier married to a nice Puerto Rican girl, etc.) around me. I'm naively hoping that having a baby will help them see us as a family instead of "our son and the woman he married."
Congrats on your first baby! I'm in VA too (although a little more South). I'm so sorry to hear about your IL's comments. If you say your MIL's comments, although hurtful but maybe unintentional is it b/c of a cultural thing? I sometimes see that with my mom and several "aunties" in the Thai community as well (I'm of Thai extraction). I try to correct/educate my mom anytime it happens (which hasn't been often, thankfully, and most recent was in Oct when I miscarried), but I understand that it could be a bit more challenging being that it's coming from your MIL. Is YH Americanized or traditional Puerto Rican? I was thinking if it's the former, he may be able to play interpreter b/w the language barrier. So much can get lost in translation - even with my own mon and I speak to her in both English AND Thai! Lol!
That has to be incredibly challenging, especially if she hears those comments.
I don't know if this is any consolation, but a friend of mine who is white has a son who is half-black. His dad is no longer in the picture, and she gets a lot of "Is that your baby?" and "Is he adopted?" even though he's her biological child AND looks just like her (except for skin color, obviously)!
I can imagine that is incredibly frustrating for her and her son. People say the dumbest things. Hopefully through the years I'll perfect a response to that will help strengthen our daughter's self-esteem as the important and natural part of our family that she is.
That's fantastic and I know that you & YH will be able to do just that! A gf of mine is of Filipino descent and her H looks almost identical to Josh Hartnett! Both of their kids don't look mixed - they both look like their dad...as in no trace of Asian at all. She gets a lot of questions whether she's their nanny & is she looking to build her clientele!! She's handled it pretty well and laughs about it, but I know hearing that can be hurtful.
agpjt413 I definitely think it's a cultural/religious issue and not malicious. My ILs are very traditional and from a very small town in PR. She strongly believes that without a marriage in the Catholic Church you are not truly married, unbaptized children risk purgatory, and that God will punish you for your sins (a loss could have been caused by cheating for example.) I also know she really really loves DH and me so I do my best to let it go.
Thankfully DH and I are both military brats so that really is our primary "culture" if that makes sense. Moving all the time, living in base, dealing with deployments - it's a neat little subculture to share. In that sense he didn't have a tradition American upbringing - he missed out on some pop culture things (only Spanish channels in his house) and lived overseas a lot.
Oh wow...military life is so hard. Several on MH's side are military (he was in the Army as well). I tell him all the time that I don't know how military spouses do it. That's really tough and I tip my hat.
Hello everyone! Ooo! I was looking for one like this back on TB but didn't see one.
I'm a FTM (19w1d along!) from the June '15 month board. I'm 30, Asian-American, Catholic; and, DH is 31, white and atheist. We're living in the New England. (Ugh. So sick of snow!) We've been married 2 years and 4 mos. We were a long distance couple and finally moved in together exactly a year ago. We haven't outright had any issues with being interracial but the area I moved to (DH moved here for work) is kinda podunk so people assume I'm an import that doesn't speak English. Hmph!
Hello everyone! Ooo! I was looking for one like this back on TB but didn't see one.
I'm a FTM (19w1d along!) from the June '15 month board. I'm 30, Asian-American, Catholic; and, DH is 31, white and atheist. We're living in the New England. (Ugh. So sick of snow!) We've been married 2 years and 4 mos. We were a long distance couple and finally moved in together exactly a year ago. We haven't outright had any issues with being interracial but the area I moved to (DH moved here for work) is kinda podunk so people assume I'm an import that doesn't speak English. Hmph!
welcome! Those comments would get old really fast :-( Congrats on your LO, such an exciting time!
Hello everyone! Ooo! I was looking for one like this back on TB but didn't see one.
I'm a FTM (19w1d along!) from the June '15 month board. I'm 30, Asian-American, Catholic; and, DH is 31, white and atheist. We're living in the New England. (Ugh. So sick of snow!) We've been married 2 years and 4 mos. We were a long distance couple and finally moved in together exactly a year ago. We haven't outright had any issues with being interracial but the area I moved to (DH moved here for work) is kinda podunk so people assume I'm an import that doesn't speak English. Hmph!
welcome! Those comments would get old really fast :-( Congrats on your LO, such an exciting time!
Thank you, thank you!
It does get old but I know it could be worse. Oh well...
mnp48 - Hi & welcome! Congrats on being a FTM I feel you about the assumptions of not speaking/knowing any English. And I get so annoyed when folks use "nationality" as "ethnicity!!!" I hate sounding like a jerk, but when I'm asked what my nationality is, I always have the urge to say American. However I try to be nice & just say that I was born here and my ethnicity is Thai. Are you guys looking to live in New England for awhile? Is YH up for relocating through work at some point?
Hello! I have 15 month old b/g twins. I'm white & my husband is Asian-American. My daughter looks more Asian and my son more white; they are quite the odd pair. I've been asked a couple times where my daughter is from. She obviously doesn't understand what people are saying but I do worry about that in the future. We just moved to northern Virginia from Illinois, but we'll only be here a few months before moving up to the Baltimore area.
Hello! I have 15 month old b/g twins. I'm white & my husband is Asian-American. My daughter looks more Asian and my son more white; they are quite the odd pair. I've been asked a couple times where my daughter is from. She obviously doesn't understand what people are saying but I do worry about that in the future. We just moved to northern Virginia from Illinois, but we'll only be here a few months before moving up to the Baltimore area.
Hi there and welcome! Another DC area-er! (formerly from the DC area here!). That's so interesting how your twins take on a bit of both of you. I'm so sorry you had to endure inquiries about your daughter. I have a friend that responds with "from my uterus!" MH and I are currently trying for our first and I'm curious about our mix as well (I'm Asian American and he's white). Are you guys excited about your move to the B'more area?
Hello! I have 15 month old b/g twins. I'm white & my husband is Asian-American. My daughter looks more Asian and my son more white; they are quite the odd pair. I've been asked a couple times where my daughter is from. She obviously doesn't understand what people are saying but I do worry about that in the future. We just moved to northern Virginia from Illinois, but we'll only be here a few months before moving up to the Baltimore area.
Hi there and welcome! Another DC area-er! (formerly from the DC area here!). That's so interesting how your twins take on a bit of both of you. I'm so sorry you had to endure inquiries about your daughter. I have a friend that responds with "from my uterus!" MH and I are currently trying for our first and I'm curious about our mix as well (I'm Asian American and he's white). Are you guys excited about your move to the B'more area?
ETA: I love your avatar, btw!
I am not excited about Baltimore. We both used to live in DC and our plan was to move back to DC, but then my husband got a job in Baltimore. It's a good job for him, but that's not where I want to be. Plus I'm an attorney and licensed in DC, not Maryland so that makes it harder for me to get a job. I don't want to do a long commute every day but I also don't want another law license. #endrant
So far I've just been awkwardly silent until the other person realizes their error. Like the last time was at O'Hare airport and I thought the guy asked "where are you from?" But I didn't want to tell a stranger where I lived. Then he followed it up with "I'm such a fan of adoption." Who isn't a fan of adoption? That whole taking in an orphaned child really makes me angry! No one says that. Your friend's response is awesome.
Do do you still have family in the area? Good luck to you and your husband!
Hi there and welcome! Another DC area-er! (formerly from the DC area here!). That's so interesting how your twins take on a bit of both of you. I'm so sorry you had to endure inquiries about your daughter. I have a friend that responds with "from my uterus!" MH and I are currently trying for our first and I'm curious about our mix as well (I'm Asian American and he's white). Are you guys excited about your move to the B'more area?
ETA: I love your avatar, btw!
I am not excited about Baltimore. We both used to live in DC and our plan was to move back to DC, but then my husband got a job in Baltimore. It's a good job for him, but that's not where I want to be. Plus I'm an attorney and licensed in DC, not Maryland so that makes it harder for me to get a job. I don't want to do a long commute every day but I also don't want another law license. #endrant
So far I've just been awkwardly silent until the other person realizes their error. Like the last time was at O'Hare airport and I thought the guy asked "where are you from?" But I didn't want to tell a stranger where I lived. Then he followed it up with "I'm such a fan of adoption." Who isn't a fan of adoption? That whole taking in an orphaned child really makes me angry! No one says that. Your friend's response is awesome.
Do do you still have family in the area? Good luck to you and your husband!
Oh no he didn't! *gasp!* People can be so - ugh!! I have no words for his behavior. And I hear you about the long commute and not wanting to have to get another license. How long is his stint for? And thanks for the well wishes! We're keeping our fingers crossed...this will be our 3rd cycle post loss so we'll see how it goes!
ETA: I have a younger brother (31) who is still in the area as well as several cousins. We relocated my folks down here when my dad got sick (he's since passed away in Aug). It was just easier accompanying him to dr's appts and such plus I was very impressed and beyond satisfied with his medical team here. The drs he had in MD just didn't seem to communicate with each other and it was so difficult for me to take days off from work to trek up there for the appts.
Hello! I have 15 month old b/g twins. I'm white & my husband is Asian-American. My daughter looks more Asian and my son more white; they are quite the odd pair. I've been asked a couple times where my daughter is from. She obviously doesn't understand what people are saying but I do worry about that in the future. We just moved to northern Virginia from Illinois, but we'll only be here a few months before moving up to the Baltimore area.
Hi there and welcome! Another DC area-er! (formerly from the DC area here!). That's so interesting how your twins take on a bit of both of you. I'm so sorry you had to endure inquiries about your daughter. I have a friend that responds with "from my uterus!" MH and I are currently trying for our first and I'm curious about our mix as well (I'm Asian American and he's white). Are you guys excited about your move to the B'more area?
ETA: I love your avatar, btw!
It is always so fun to see how the genetics come through in your kids! I am mostly german, so not a whole lot of question there...but DH is more than half European, the rest is Bolivian, Native American, and Creole. He looks African American or even a little Hispanic, so we were so curious to see what DD would look like. When I was pregnant I was talking about it with a co-worker who knew my DH's ethnicity, and I made the comment that I was dying to know what she looked like and I didn't even know what skin color she would have since it could go either way. Another coworker was listening and got this horrified look on his face since he knew I was married and took my comment to mean that I didn't know who the dad was! We had a good laugh and told him that's why he shouldn't listen in on other people's conversations. I nearly started some really good rumors about myself :-P
Hi there and welcome! Another DC area-er! (formerly from the DC area here!). That's so interesting how your twins take on a bit of both of you. I'm so sorry you had to endure inquiries about your daughter. I have a friend that responds with "from my uterus!" MH and I are currently trying for our first and I'm curious about our mix as well (I'm Asian American and he's white). Are you guys excited about your move to the B'more area?
ETA: I love your avatar, btw!
It is always so fun to see how the genetics come through in your kids! I am mostly german, so not a whole lot of question there...but DH is more than half European, the rest is Bolivian, Native American, and Creole. He looks African American or even a little Hispanic, so we were so curious to see what DD would look like. When I was pregnant I was talking about it with a co-worker who knew my DH's ethnicity, and I made the comment that I was dying to know what she looked like and I didn't even know what skin color she would have since it could go either way. Another coworker was listening and got this horrified look on his face since he knew I was married and took my comment to mean that I didn't know who the dad was! We had a good laugh and told him that's why he shouldn't listen in on other people's conversations. I nearly started some really good rumors about myself :-P
Lol! I can see how that was misconstrued by your other colleague I have a cousin who is really dark skinned and her H is super fair - both kids got her gene but it was funny to hear the ILs discuss complexion/skin tone while she was pregnant too
Wow, YH has quite a background! I've been mistaken for Latina and at times Native American (especially when I was on business trips near reservations in WA state), so I don't have that "traditional" East Asian look. It'll be really interesting to see what our kids will look like. We already are thinking our kids may be on the "husky" side b/c we were both chubby babies/kids LOL!
Post by aimeefarrahfowler on Jan 29, 2015 11:04:11 GMT -5
Hi, I am so glad to see this board started
I am white, born and raised in Maryland (another DC-area person!) H is Korean and moved here when he was a toddler. We grew up in the same county. I am not religious and H's family is extremely religious, although he doesn't attend church anymore. We are both in our early 30s and work for the government.
We have two boys, a 2 1/2 year old and our baby is almost 9 months. Genetics is an interesting thing because my kids do not look Asian, at all. My older boy has red hair. I don't even have red hair. H gets some weird looks when he's out alone with the kids, this Asian guy toting around two "white" babies.
Honestly, H's parents had a bigger (much MUCH) bigger problem than my family when it came to our relationship. It took years for them to come around to the fact he was with a white girl. The night before we got married, his mom begged me not to marry him. Yeah. We're all cool now though.
We're trying to raise our children with as much exposure to their Korean heritage as possible. MIL and SIL watch them during the day and MIL tries to speak primarily Korean to them. We celebrated the New Year in the traditional Korean way and are planning our baby's Dol - big first birthday party. My side of the family has been in the States since the colonial times so I really had no connection to any kind of cultural food or celebrations until I met my husband, so it has been really fun for me.
Anyway, this got really long. Just happy to have somewhere to connect with people going through similar experiences!
I am white, born and raised in Maryland (another DC-area person!) H is Korean and moved here when he was a toddler. We grew up in the same county. I am not religious and H's family is extremely religious, although he doesn't attend church anymore. We are both in our early 30s and work for the government.
We have two boys, a 2 1/2 year old and our baby is almost 9 months. Genetics is an interesting thing because my kids do not look Asian, at all. My older boy has red hair. I don't even have red hair. H gets some weird looks when he's out alone with the kids, this Asian guy toting around two "white" babies.
Honestly, H's parents had a bigger (much MUCH) bigger problem than my family when it came to our relationship. It took years for them to come around to the fact he was with a white girl. The night before we got married, his mom begged me not to marry him. Yeah. We're all cool now though.
We're trying to raise our children with as much exposure to their Korean heritage as possible. MIL and SIL watch them during the day and MIL tries to speak primarily Korean to them. We celebrated the New Year in the traditional Korean way and are planning our baby's Dol - big first birthday party. My side of the family has been in the States since the colonial times so I really had no connection to any kind of cultural food or celebrations until I met my husband, so it has been really fun for me.
Anyway, this got really long. Just happy to have somewhere to connect with people going through similar experiences!
Hi and welcome! I'm sure it was really difficult before you guys got married w/ how your ILs are but I'm glad that all is good now. Being in the DC area, your kids will have a ton of exposure to Korean culture! (I'm so excited as we recently found out we're getting an HMart type grocery store here in Central VA! I was born & raised in MoCo and terribly miss the fresh produce from Korean grocery stores ) How exciting planning your 2nd's Dol! I have several friends who married Korean Americans and have had a chance to learn about the Dol as well.
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