NGKUR- Help dress me!!

[housecarder]

So my little brother is getting married next week. Our pastor recently moved and he doesn't know the new minister very well and didn't feel comfortable having him officiate. So he and his fiancé are doing the courthouse thing Friday morning and having the ceremony that evening and asked me to "officiate". I'm honored and excited to do it, but have no clue what to wear. I don't want to wear anything that will clash or distract from the bridal party. I was going to wear my black suit and light blue dress shirt that I have for interviews but I found out that the guys are just wearing grey dress shirts and red bow ties, no jackets.
Should I go with something more casual? Pants? Dress? I'm so lost as I've never seen a female officiant and everything I've looked up shows priest like robes.
Their colors are baby blue (different shade of what I had originally picked out) and red if that helps.
TIA for any advice!

[pismoduo]

I think you'd be fine, particularly if the outfit still looks good without the jacket.

Our officiant wore a kilt and a dress shirt, so I'm no help there.

[wannabmama]

I've been to two weddings recently with female officiants who were not ministers and one wore a solid colored dress and looked lovely. She was in a color that complimented the overall color scheme but wasn't "matchy" (no idea if she did on purpose ha) and the other was in a dark suit. To me, the suit was a little...stuffy? But the wedding was on the formal side. I think you should wear what you like and feel good in and it will work out great!
Also fwiw I love that he asked you to do that. My dad did my wedding and I think it was the coolest thing ever.

[mill23]

We had a female officiant and I just had to look at our pictures to remember what she was wearing (so that shows you how much they will notice your outfit on the day!) and she just wore a simple dress and flat shoes. I think you would be fine in a dress as long as it wasn't some crazy pattern or bright colours (or white, obviously), and especially since the guys will be casual anyway.

I wouldn't try and match the bridesmaids personally as I think that would be strange and kinda of confusing.

[housecarder]

Thanks ladies. I def don't want to "match" the bridal party and look like a bridesmaid, but I didn't want to be overly stuffy either and be the only one in a suit.

[cjchio]

I would have a few ideas for outfits then ask the bride what would complement the style of the wedding and the colors. That way you aren't worried day of if your outfit is ok.

[titania]

Our friends had a female minister and she wore a dress. I don't remember anything about the color, but I think a neutral color would work. Like navy blue? Or a champagne color? Just something that won't stand out too much.

How exciting you get to do this!!

[cabgirl]

I'm sure you've thought if it already, but Googling "female officiant attire" comes up with some good ideas. I'd ask your brother (or your brother's fiance) for some guidance/ideas. Maybe they have a preference. Otherwise, I think I'd go with something like a simple, solid-colored, dark or neutral dress - obviously something modest and somewhat formal. Good luck! How awesome that you get to officiate your brother's wedding!

[shadesofgold]

Aug 7, 2015 17:01:53 GMT -5 cjchio said:

I would have a few ideas for outfits then ask the bride what would complement the style of the wedding and the colors. That way you aren't worried day of if your outfit is ok.

+1 to this advice - send her a few photos of the outfits laid out and ask her to help you choose. I think the suit could be one option - if you wear a fun necklace or big pearls with it to jazz it up it won't look too business-y. Also try a neutral, solid dress (not black or white.. navy or light pink?) as well as a skirt (patterns okay here) with a nice blouse. And while I know you don't want to be too distracting, you will probably be in a lot of photos, so be sure you really love what you're wearing! 

Have a great time - what a fun way to be involved in their day!

[fishbulb]

Lurker jumping in (we're about to start TFAS). I've officiated two weddings. For the outdoor autumn one I wore a chocolate brown pant suit with purple paisley scarf. For the indoor summer wedding I wore a dressy dark purple top and a brown knee length skirt. I tried for not being too showy but not being invisible either. Our officiant was a woman as well and she wore a long black dress with a white and black printed shirt over top.

[housecarder]

Unfortunately my brother and future SIL are no help and just keep saying "whatever you want to wear will be fine!" Lol. I think I might go take a look at local stores and see if anything jumps out and keep the pant suit for a back up. I'm loving all the ideas!

[kayladawn91]

Aug 7, 2015 16:31:24 GMT -5 wannabmama said:

I've been to two weddings recently with female officiants who were not ministers and one wore a solid colored dress and looked lovely. She was in a color that complimented the overall color scheme but wasn't "matchy" (no idea if she did on purpose ha) and the other was in a dark suit. To me, the suit was a little...stuffy? But the wedding was on the formal side. I think you should wear what you like and feel good in and it will work out great!
Also fwiw I love that he asked you to do that. My dad did my wedding and I think it was the coolest thing ever.

My dad did my wedding as well. I loved having him be such a big part of our ceremony.

[LadyNymeria]

My brother & SIL's officiant wore a cap sleeve knee length solid color dress. It just so happened she wore navy and our bridesmaid dresses were navy, but even then it didn't look too matchy because they were different styles.

I assume she went with navy because it's a more neutral color than something too bright but I thought she was perfectly dressed for the occasion.

[Deleted]

housecarder - What's your usual go to dressy outfit?

eta: Not for interviews.

[housecarder]

Aug 8, 2015 11:26:07 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

housecarder - What's your usual go to dressy outfit?

eta: Not for interviews.

The problem is I don't really dress up. Even for church I wear jeans and a t shirt, maybe a cute top. For weddings I might wear a dress, but all my dressier clothes I bought 50lbs ago, so I probably need to shop anyway.

[Deleted]

Aug 8, 2015 14:24:20 GMT -5 housecarder said:

Aug 8, 2015 11:26:07 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

housecarder - What's your usual go to dressy outfit?

eta: Not for interviews.

The problem is I don't really dress up. Even for church I wear jeans and a t shirt, maybe a cute top. For weddings I might wear a dress, but all my dressier clothes I bought 50lbs ago, so I probably need to shop anyway.

I think then your best bet is to wear the dress shirt and suit, but maybe forgo the jacket. Do you have any red jewelry that you could wear so you feel a little more dressed up?

[housecarder]

Aug 8, 2015 14:44:43 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Aug 8, 2015 14:24:20 GMT -5 housecarder said:

The problem is I don't really dress up. Even for church I wear jeans and a t shirt, maybe a cute top. For weddings I might wear a dress, but all my dressier clothes I bought 50lbs ago, so I probably need to shop anyway.

I think then your best bet is to wear the dress shirt and suit, but maybe forgo the jacket. Do you have any red jewelry that you could wear so you feel a little more dressed up?

I could easily pick some up.

[Deleted]

Aug 8, 2015 15:37:04 GMT -5 housecarder said:

Aug 8, 2015 14:44:43 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

I think then your best bet is to wear the dress shirt and suit, but maybe forgo the jacket. Do you have any red jewelry that you could wear so you feel a little more dressed up?

I could easily pick some up.

Or maybe a floral scarf with hints of red.
I didn't know if shopping was an option for you.