Post by rikkiandjulie on Aug 7, 2015 16:41:57 GMT -5
I literally JUST got a text from BIL with a photo of their first ultrasound from today. I am SO happy for them, but at the same time I'm a jealous monster. I would probably not feel this way AS much if everything wasn't a competition with them.
I mean we are very open with them, they live less than five blocks from them, and I would call them some of our best friends, however in Oct we told the we were going to start TTC in April. Well no less than days later they tell us they are going to start trying, when they had NO inclination of ever wanting kids prior. Now I know that this can change but EVERYTHING is a competition with them. If we get a new car, they do weeks later, if we get a new TV they get a better one the same week, even down to kitchen aid mixers, they HAD to get the better one. DW and I are NOT into keeping up with the joneses, we just stick to our plans, and do what is best for us but I feel kinda bitter today, even though I am MOSTLY happy for them.
That really stinks I'm sorry that you are feeling like this. I don't have any great advice but I know TTC can be sooo stressful try to give yourself some space and grace.
Post by wittyandwaiting on Aug 8, 2015 12:58:06 GMT -5
Hey rikkiandjulie. It's totally okay to have all the feels, it's definitely tough feeling like somebody is competing with you in a competition you never signed up for; it's definitely not a race but I know that it can feel that way.
Try to take good care of you and focus on your own TTC path.
Also, there are a ton of funny TTC memes online. I made a Pinterest board of them for when I was feeling bitter, sad or angry. I found that it helped.
I can relate to this totally. My sister is married to a dr and has nothing better to do than try to constantly one-up everyone else. Which is pathetic because they are very wealthy and the rest of our family are paycheck to paycheck kind of situation. You just gotta chalk it up to assuming they obviously have some kind of self-esteem issue and feel inadequate compared to others and are trying to compensate for that.
Post by rikkiandjulie on Aug 9, 2015 15:38:19 GMT -5
Just got back from the party and I've neve in my life been so bitter about something. I can't stop crying. I can't stop being angry. I'm so mad that they have something thT we want so badly. I've also convinced myself that this cycle didn't work. So there's that. I hate all of this TTC stuff, and today right now at this moment I feel like it's never going to work, that I'll never get to have a baby. I feel hopeless angry and hurt all at once. They were supposed to be there for us still but they have quickly forgotten how much it sucks to in the "still not pregnant club" my heart just aches.
Post by bexincanada on Aug 9, 2015 16:43:58 GMT -5
It's definitely hard not to get caught up in compare and despair. I agree that as much as you can, focus on you and taking care of yourselves, not looking next door to your in-law's situation. My SIL and her husband are also trying to conceive, we're just keeping our heads down and taking it one step at a time. The TWW is the hardest, hang in there.
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