If you have a LO in Daycare/Preschool...

[miniwheat]

Hold me.

My oldest is starting preschool in 3 weeks and I am not ready. I want her to be home with me, I am scared of mean kids and I am scared she will be scared when I leave her there. DD is 3 and I know this is a good step, she is ready. In Canada kindergarten is 5 full days per week and I need to get her ready for such long days of school. We are starting with 2 full days in preschool. I can pick her up early if I want but I think just going full days might be best.


Can you share your stories on how your kids adjusted? Can you help me stop crying over it?! And finally, how did you help your kids adjust and get excited about it?

Tearfully yours,
Ugly Cry-Miniwheat.

[missys]

I have no advice but I'm so sorry you feel this way and I can't imagine what you're going through. I hope she has an amazing time and eases your worries!

[maryxc1]

DS was in 2K three mornings a week last year. I am a SAHM and decided he needed it for the socialization and learning to listen to other adults. Drop off was pretty hard for the first week or two, but the teachers were pros at distracting him and it didn't last long. After a couple weeks he would trot in to his classroom and not even say bye. We talked a lot about how Mommy would come back and get him when class was over and how this was a fun thing because he got to go play with other kids. Make sure to keep yourself distracted the first day or two. I found running errands was better than doing stuff around the house during that adjustment time. It was more distracting.

DS is going five mornings a week starting in September because that is what their 3K program is. I am ready for a little break and time with the baby, but every day seems like so much!

[lotsofdotts]

I put my 2 oldest in daycare at 3 months each time, so I have no advice other than kids adjust. I'm taking Brady this week for the first time, so this is late for me. Good luck! In my experience, it is usually harder on the adult than it is on the child.

[boxerrrmama85]

Ouch! So hard. I don't know how I am going to deal with it once LO understands that I'm leaving. My heart will most likely break in 6 million pieces. (Okay-- that's my mom side, now for my professional side.)

I really like the following article: www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/starting-preschool/separation-anxiety/goodbye-without-tears/

I always tell our parents to be consistent. 1 hug/1 kiss/1 book/ 5 minutes-- whatever you choose, be consistent-- even if there are tears (yours or hers) -- LEAVE! Do not come back into the room- it makes the crying so so so much worse and makes the goodbye much harder on your LO.

GOOD LUCK AND BIG HUGS!

[Mom2Ms]

It's a double edge sword. It's sad for us moms to send our babies out of the nesr. However, it's such a great experience for the littles. With DD I didn't see any issues with mean kids until she was 5 and in kinder. Preschool was FT at about age 2. You'll see a tremendous amount of growth when your LO starts. DD would come home with projects & tell me about her day & her friends & her teachers. It was nice. There will be special things that they do for holidays, including Mothers Day, which will be so special & you'll cherish those memories. Get involved when you can. Volunteer when you can. Make it a ritual to pack your LOs snack or lunch. I think the more involved you are, the easier it is. Does it completely take the heart ache away, nope, but it helps. DD is starting 2nd grade here in a week or two and I still get choked up sending her off. We are all here for you. Cry. Vent. Share your happy stories. You got this!

[Mom2Ms]

Aug 9, 2015 22:01:28 GMT -5 mumomma13 said:

Hi. I haven't shared this on the board yet, but a year and a half ago we had a toddler in our home for six months. It was really hard for me to drop her off at daycare each day, but I was working, so we didn't really have much of a choice. Honestly, I think it was harder on me than it was her. It helped me that she seemed excited once she warmed up to everyone in the morning and when I picked her up in the evenings. Some mornings were bad. It was usually when she was tired and cranky, but she was fine as soon as she ate and started playing. On bad mornings, I would sometimes call and make sure everything was okay. I talked to her teachers for a few minutes every evening and asked how she did that day. Another thing that really helped her adjust to being there all day was to ensure that she was napping for the entirety of nap time. I made sure that her teachers knew this was important to me and necessary for her. To get her excited, we would talk about all the things they did at school and about her friends. It's hard. After you figure out a routine and she makes friends there, it will be much easier for the both of you. Good luck!

All of this too. Especially it being harder on us....

[WittyLittle]

awww! They grow up way too fast
I used to work in a daycare for the older groups (2-3 years old) and what we did there worked for most kids. The main thing we advised was talk about it- a lot! Be excited, ask her how she's feeling about it, and compare it to playdates she's had without over-selling it (so that it still lives up to her expectations).

We had a system where 1 week before start, we would invite the child for playdates. First time they came with the parents (or caretaker etc), next time they stayed 2 hours and parent left after half an hour, then we had a rest day, and then the next time the child stayed a half day with us all by themselves.

There are some kids who find it difficult but it's like most things, after a few times it gets so much better. And you can deal with that then. But I always found that it was easier with parents who were really open about it and explained to the kid what was going on. I had two or three nightmare parents who would try to distract the child and then run out the room. Gee thanks. It usually led to the nightmare inconsolable crying that they were trying to avoid. These kids would often get a complex about being abandoned there.

As for kids being mean, you just can't protect them forever To be honest, kids are still really vocal at that stage and teachers/caretakers do notice it going on because the noise/activity levels are out of the ordinary so it catches your attention (no matter how busy you are). Small things they have to learn to sort out for themselves of course, but the big things are dealt with properly in a good preschool.

If it's not an option to do a phased integration then communication is the other main key. It's a lot less scary for the kid if they know what's going on. But also that they can be open about feeling scared or nervous. We had a few older kids trying to act like tough guys/girls and get kind of stressed. They were still fine after a few times and things evened out, but it was more difficult than the ones who just openly said they were scared or sad.

Good luck! It's all going to be ok! Hope that helped a bit x

[miniwheat]

I woke up to such awesome answers! Thanks you guys!

I am dreading this, but DD is very social so I am hopeful this will be a fun thing for her. It just breaks my heart when I think about what could scare or upset her. I think I am going to do let the instructors keep me posted on how she is the first couple weeks and do an early pick up if they think she needs one. They told me that the kids have an easier time if they participate in lunch and nap right from the start so that will be the goal but I wont push her.

Thanks again so much ladies!

[michelle142]

My DS is in pre-school 3 days a week.

It really helped him develop socially. He's always been shy, and being around other kids and getting to experience a classroom setting really brought him out of his shell. He was nervous and first and we had some tough drop offs for the first few weeks. But his teachers were really fantastic in making him feel comfortable there.

It might be tough, but before you know it she'll be begging to go play with her friends!

[junebugjam]

My little baby goes to daycare next week I know he will probably be fine, but it makes me so sad. Hope all goes well for you!