Hi (semi-update)

[lizblue]

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry for your loss and all you're going through. I'm wishing you guys lots of strength for your road ahead and will keep your family in my thoughts.

[drloretta]

I'm so sorry. I hope the immigration situation sorts itself out. Best wishes to you all as you deal with this.

[Captain Serious]

I am so sorry for your loss. What complicated emotions you must ask be dealing with.

I would contact an immigration lawyer as soon as humanly possible to see if it is at all possible to claim some kind of emergency status to keep her here. I don't know what country you are from, of how difficult it is to immigrate from there, but adoption adds a whole other layer to it. Once your niece returns to that country, their laws go into affect, and you will, in effect be trying to complete an international adoption. Without knowing the laws of that country, it can become incredibly complicated and may even be impossible. Most nations prefer to do everything within their ability to keep children within their own country and see international adoptions as a last resort.

In addition to an immigration lawyer, I would reach out to a lawyer familiar with custody and adoption issues in your area. You want to make sure that you have the legal authority to act on her behalf for immigration, education, and all other legal purposes. If you do not adopt her or gain legal guardianship, she will be seen as a foster child and will technically be a ward off the state, and you will not have the power or authority to make those decisions for her.

I know this is so much to think about at a time when you are grieving and trying to help your niece through such a difficult time, but please seek legal help immediately. Good luck, and please keep us posted.

[akafred]

I absolutely agree. I would not have her return home if it is humanly possible to avoid it. Her living with you is the safest way to proceed, no matter what her home country is.

[jwinct]

I am so sorry. I agree with the others that you should try to keep her here and contact an immigration lawyer ASAP. Good luck and many condolences to you and your family.

[irismorning]

I agree that you need to keep her in your country. I am not sure where you are, but in most cases it is best to have physical custody in country.

[chele]

Oh wow, so sorry for your loss. I don't know much but I agree with the others. Get a lawyer and do what you can to keep her here.

[redandblue]

I just wanted to add my condolences. What a difficult situation you are dealing with. Added to what PP have suggested, I would see about if grief counselling if possible. I can't imagine what she must be feeling having just lost her mother. Hugs to you.

[Captain Serious]

Aug 11, 2015 15:59:37 GMT -5 redandblue said:

I just wanted to add my condolences. What a difficult situation you are dealing with. Added to what PP have suggested, I would see about if grief counselling if possible. I can't imagine what she must be feeling having just lost her mother. Hugs to you.

Yes. As a separate thing, I always recommend family therapy whenever adopting older children. Once things have calmed down a bit, please do some reading about adopting/raising older/hurt children. It will help you understand some of what your niece will be going through, and prepare you for the best ways to respond to her acting-out behaviors and help her through this as best you can.

[theatrepal]

I would think keeping her here would be best. If you happen to be in Minnesota, I happen to know an immigration lawyer. I'll be thinking about you're family.

[teenybenoit]

I'm sorry for your loss. I have no experience here but sending you hugs.

[ceejay]

Hugs, @pineappleoranges. I'm sorry for your loss. What a tough situation. I agree with everyone else that it would probably be best to keep her in the country if at all possible. Keep us updated.

[NariaDreaming]

I know I'm a dirty lurker over here, but thinking of you and your family during this time. I agree that keeping her here would be the ideal situation.

[NariaDreaming]

Given your additional info, I'd call an immigration lawyer now. Like right now.

[Bayou]

Very sorry for the loss of your cousin I will keep you in my prayers!

[pinkie]

This is so hard and sad - many prayers for the best outcome! I would hire an attorney ASAP

[Captain Serious]

I'm glad you spoke to someone. No elected official should hold a promise you made when her mother was still with her against you under these new circumstances. There are several emergent statuses that might apply here, including asylum, that the immigration lawyer should consider. He'll know which to apply for and how to support her case. (I say this as someone who has family desperately trying to immigrate from a country in which they are being persecuted, so I have a little familiarity with this.)

I doubt many lawyers cross over between adoption/family and immigration law, do you might have to get two different lawyers to get this all sorted out.

To be clear, I was not advocating that you allow her to overstay her visa, but that you should apply for an extension/change of status. With that in mind, I don't think you should worry about how it could affect anyone else in the process, because 1) you have no way of knowing if it can our will affect anyone else; 2) you would be proceeding legally under extreme extenuating circumstances; and 3) it could do great and irreparable harm to uproot this girl again, and send her to a possibly unsafe living situation that will, at best, see her living with relatives she's never met, and may result in her ending up in a foster home, orphanage, or fending for herself. This girl needs you to fight for her now.

Of course, you know that, but I'm saying it here for emphasis on why you shouldn't let your misgivings deter you. You are not abusing the system to sneak your niece into the country and bypass the regular system, you are the only adults that can stand up for her and fight for her emotional well-being, safety, and mental health.

[Captain Serious]

Best of luck in the coming months. You have just suffered a difficult loss that will take time to heal, and you have a somewhat tumultuous road ahead. I'll be thinking of you and praying that everything goes as well as it can.

[twocents6708]

I am really sorry that you are going through all of this! I hope that the attorney can help you to work it all out. I also agree that counseling would be beneficial for her. I will keep you in my thoughts.

[hootiemommytobe]

Very sorry for your loss. I also agree that keeping her here would be best, rather than sending her back to your home country for the time being. I hope you are able to work something out.