To PP: Can we not put scare quotes around people's feelings and mock whether or not they have struggled? OP fucked up in trying to justify her post, but choosing to shut down someone's experience because you've been trying longer than they have? Pain Olympics.
Edit: spelling
Ok but seriously in what universe have we ever let anyone get away with saying trying for 8 months is struggling?
ETA - and actually what the OP said was that she didn't expect it to happen so quickly this time since LAST TIME it took 8 months. So, really, this is the one you want to WK?
I'm not trying to WK OP at all. Fuck her and what she posted. I am speaking for myself as someone who myself has been trying for 8 months with a loss thrown in. I take a lot of offense to people mocking how someone should feel at this point. Because I would describe my emotional state as "struggling" and fuck you if you don't let me "get away with" that.
ETA: tagging @pineappleoranges b/c this addresses her comment to me as well. Not interested in defending OP.
There is nothing fucking fun about actively TTCing and not getting pregnant, no matter how many months you have been trying.
That being said here is a little piece of advice to the newbies that cannot be stressed enough. Please be a little more cognizant of what you say to others on this board. Read siggies and be careful with your words. When you complain that you will never get KU, three or four months in, it can be extremely hurtful to those on the board who have been trying for atleast a year or more and/or have losses. They may not always voice it, but the feelings are still there.
Ok but seriously in what universe have we ever let anyone get away with saying trying for 8 months is struggling?
ETA - and actually what the OP said was that she didn't expect it to happen so quickly this time since LAST TIME it took 8 months. So, really, this is the one you want to WK?
I'm not trying to WK OP at all. Fuck her and what she posted. I am speaking for myself as someone who myself has been trying for 8 months with a loss thrown in. I take a lot of offense to people mocking how someone should feel at this point. Because I would describe my emotional state as "struggling" and fuck you if you don't let me "get away with" that.
ETA: tagging @pineappleoranges b/c this addresses her comment to me as well. Not interested in defending OP.
Dude. You are comparing apples to oranges.
Here is what we know about OP from reading what was quoted: -She "struggled" for 8 months (never mentions a loss) to conceive her 1st take home baby -She got pregnant the 2nd time around SO FUCKING QUICKLY that she didn't have time to plan how to tell her husband -She sorrybut'd her way out of this thread
I have no fucking clue what your point was in bringing up your struggle...but in the context of this thread, it has zero bearing or similarity. All it does is what you told others not to do - play the pain olympics.
I'm not trying to WK OP at all. Fuck her and what she posted. I am speaking for myself as someone who myself has been trying for 8 months with a loss thrown in. I take a lot of offense to people mocking how someone should feel at this point. Because I would describe my emotional state as "struggling" and fuck you if you don't let me "get away with" that.
ETA: tagging @pineappleoranges b/c this addresses her comment to me as well. Not interested in defending OP.
I would've responded even if you didn't tag me. My point still stands. Fuck you too since clearly you are missing several points in the conversation.
1. Who is OP? 2. She struggled for 8 months with her FIRST pregnancy. 3. We all have bad days dealing with TTC but if we say stupud shit people here is going to shut it down. 4. Who cares how someone I DON;T know tell her husband she is pregnant? 5. Why is it not okay to tell someone not to worry unnecessarily before the one year mark? 6. I can tell anyone whatever the fuck I want to as long as I don't break TOU.
OP is the original poster. I don't even need to address the rest of your questions because I don't give a fuck about her. As I said in my first post and those since, I could not care less about her, how she tells her husband, how long she took to get pregnant. What I was addressing were the 3 or 4 comments that followed from regular posters who I respect taking the ball mocking someone ysing the word "struggling" after 8 months. A lot of us have been here about that long. I know I'm not experiencing anything unusual or extraordinary or worrisome, and I generally feel incredibly supported and welcomed here. But making a comment just to mock someone for feeling anything at 8 months of TTC is different than telling them not to borrow trouble as we would elsewhere. Going on about "ha - 8 months. Call me when you have real pain" is totally unnecessary. That is what I'm addressing.
How about we not use the term "Pain Olympics" ever again? It's fucking awful and offense. So can we just not.
Thanks.
Fair enough. Sorry for causing a ruckus - I'm honestly surprised with the responses I got. I am not interested in fighting. I'll let my previous posts sit and step back.
That goes for everyone. It's an awful fucking term. I will say something the next time I see it.
frankenboom, is right in saying apples to oranges. No two people have the same exact situation going on here. You can't compare my situation( mostly, cause i'm special ) to anyone else on the board because it wouldn't be helpful. Honestly, there should be no comparing going on in the first place. All it does is fill a person's head with worries.
Also we are here to provide each other with fucking support. If you see someone who you know is struggling with IF, and generally a very nice person, get upset in a newbie post or in general reach out to them. Everyone has different triggers. Something might be silly to you, but completely devastating to another person.
I have a point i'm trying to make somewhere. Ok, I got it.
TLD;R :Never fucking wish trouble on yourself. Never fucking try to compare your issues to others' issues or you will lose your mind. IF fucking sucks and people need to learn how to be more empathetic when discussing anything related to the topic.
If anyone needs a definition of the word Empathy or how to put it into practice I would be more than happy to help.
Post by NariaDreaming on Aug 11, 2015 20:10:36 GMT -5
I'm just going to throw out there that OP is a perfect example of why PCOS /=/ fertility death sentence. She got pregnant well within the normal timeframe with #1 without any assistance from an RE, and got pregnant on cycle #1 TFAS.
Everything else I want to say on the topic would fall under pain olympics.
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
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