Update: Matched! - Potential expectant mom meeting

[badgergirl66]

We got a call today that there's an expectant mom interested in meeting us. I was driving and crazy excited and nervous that I didn't think of any questions to ask until I hung up. So I don't really have much information. I'm dying to know how many couples ages planning to meet in person.

Anyways. We are hopefully going to meet her next weekend.

Any advice? Tips? Questions to ask?

Can't wait to get more information tomorrow once the agency opens up.

Update: Thank you all so much for your advice. We had our meeting, and it went really well. It was a great connection. She told us at the end she wanted to choose us, and didn't want to meet anyone else. Holy crap. We've texted some, and I think I might go with to her ultrasound (20ish week one). Anyone attend a dr apt with an EM? I'll just follow her lead on it, but I have no idea what to expect at an apt like that. So, if anyone has advice for that, I'll take that now. I'm so excited and cautiously optimistic.

[gnomesweetgnome]

My advice is to try and relax and be yourselves as much as possible. We only met with one BM, and she didn't end up choosing us. We didn't ask too many questions, we let her (and her mom or the SW) do most of the asking, and that turned into conversations. I would just keep the first meeting light - questions about her hobbies, likes/dislikes, etc. She may choose to share with you her reason(s) for considering adoption, but if it doesn't come up at the first meeting, I wouldn't worry, it's very personal and that first meeting is nerve wracking for everyone.

[lizblue]

I've never been in your shoes so no real advice here, but wow-so very exciting! Best of luck. Be yourself and remember she is probably nervous too.

[pinkie]

We did not meet any EPs in person but did this over the phone. Basically I would suggest what gnome said. Also try to talk to the social worker and get a feel for her personality (shy, very outgoing). I would let the EM lead the conversation, if she wants to talk a lot about the baby then ask questions.

Remember she has seen something in your profile that she likes and try to just be yourself.

Hoping bookworm sees this and may have insight from a BM perspective

[badgergirl66]

Thanks ladies.

Here's what I know so far:
She's due in January.
Expectant father isnt in the picture by choice and has agreed to terminate rights when the time comes.
She isn't planning to meet with anyone other than us.

[casarosada]

Good luck!

We have met with one expectant mother (she chose us and then changed her mind and went with a different couple a week before her due date). We tried to just be ourselves and be relaxed though we likely weren't that relaxed. We asked her about herself and didn't ask any questions about the baby. One thing we asked was what made her decide to meet us after looking t our profile. This gave us insight but also led to more conversation.

[redandblue]

So very exciting for you! I don't have any experience with meeting an EM because our EM has decided she did not want to be involved in choosing the adoptive family. GL and be yourself! I guess try to believe if this is your baby, it will work out. If this is not your baby, it will be okay because your baby will be out there. Crossing everything for you that you are meeting your baby! (Or baby's mom)

[pinkie]

Oh I'm excited for you! Not to overly get your hopes up . Good luck - just keep remembering that she already likes you!!

[jwinct]

I have no advice, but lots of luck to you!!!

[ceejay]

I don't have any advice, but good luck! Hope it goes well!

[teraiin]

No advice, but good luck! Hope it goes well.

[Bayou]

Good luck to you!!! If it's meant to be...it'll be

[chicago]

Hi, I don't have any advice. We are meeting with a girl on Tuesday. I did some googling and got similar advice to above, take her lead ...
We did see some of the questions that she might ask. Not that we want to prep answers but it was good for us to talk through things to ensure we're on the same page (time off work, daycare/nanny plan etc )

Good Luck, looking forward to hearing an update. I will have an update Tuesday ...

[badgergirl66]

Aug 12, 2015 21:10:09 GMT -5 chicago said:

Hi, I don't have any advice. We are meeting with a girl on Tuesday. I did some googling and got similar advice to above, take her lead ...
We did see some of the questions that she might ask. Not that we want to prep answers but it was good for us to talk through things to ensure we're on the same page (time off work, daycare/nanny plan etc )

Good Luck, looking forward to hearing an update. I will have an update Tuesday ...

I'll try to google tomorrow, but if you have a list of questions still up, will you PM them to me? And omg good luck to you!

[Captain Serious]

Good luck!

[chicago]

Aug 12, 2015 22:18:25 GMT -5 badgergirl66 said:

Aug 12, 2015 21:10:09 GMT -5 chicago said:

Hi, I don't have any advice. We are meeting with a girl on Tuesday. I did some googling and got similar advice to above, take her lead ...
We did see some of the questions that she might ask. Not that we want to prep answers but it was good for us to talk through things to ensure we're on the same page (time off work, daycare/nanny plan etc )

Good Luck, looking forward to hearing an update. I will have an update Tuesday ...

I'll try to google tomorrow, but if you have a list of questions still up, will you PM them to me? And omg good luck to you!

Sent

[jwinct]

Aug 12, 2015 21:10:09 GMT -5 chicago said:

Hi, I don't have any advice. We are meeting with a girl on Tuesday. I did some googling and got similar advice to above, take her lead ...
We did see some of the questions that she might ask. Not that we want to prep answers but it was good for us to talk through things to ensure we're on the same page (time off work, daycare/nanny plan etc )

Good Luck, looking forward to hearing an update. I will have an update Tuesday ...

chicago - Good luck with your meeting!!

[hootiemommytobe]

I haven't been in your shoes yet, but that is very exciting news!!! I would try as much as you can to stay calm and be yourselves. I'm sure that will be easier said than done! LOL! I hope it goes well!

[badgergirl66]

Thanks again! I have to add on to advice in trust your social worker. She or he has done these meetings before, and will help you through it.

I cannot believe we are now matched! We still have a long way to go, and I know anything could happen, but I'm still really excited.

[jwinct]

Aug 15, 2015 21:53:37 GMT -5 badgergirl66 said:

Thanks again! I have to add on to advice in trust your social worker. She or he has done these meetings before, and will help you through it.

I cannot believe we are now matched! We still have a long way to go, and I know anything could happen, but I'm still really excited.

badgergirl66 - Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you!! I would totally go to the u/s with her. Best of luck with everything going forward!

[casarosada]

Congrats!

[pinkie]

I'm very happy for you!! It's great you have the opportunity to attend the u/s . We didn't have that possibility. This is very exciting - so is the baby due the very end of the year?

[badgergirl66]

Aug 16, 2015 12:20:22 GMT -5 pinkie said:

I'm very happy for you!! It's great you have the opportunity to attend the u/s . We didn't have that possibility. This is very exciting - so is the baby due the very end of the year?

It involves me changing vacation plans but I'm willing to make it work! She's due in January. I'm nervous for such a long match. But also, things feel really right.

[chele]

Great to hear!

[ceejay]

Aug 15, 2015 21:53:37 GMT -5 badgergirl66 said:

Thanks again! I have to add on to advice in trust your social worker. She or he has done these meetings before, and will help you through it.

I cannot believe we are now matched! We still have a long way to go, and I know anything could happen, but I'm still really excited.

Congrats on being matched!!!!!!!!

[Captain Serious]

What wonderful news! Congratulations!

[teenybenoit]

That's awesome!!! So exciting and definitely gives hope!!

[shemarie82]

This is great news! Congratulations!

[lizblue]

Amazing!! Congratulations.

[redandblue]

Omg! Congrats on being matched!! I hope the pregnancy goes well! Keep us up dated!