GTKY- Sibling #

[mrsmonogrammed]

Let's talk siblings....it's always interesting to hear perspectives from different families!
How many siblings do you and your H have? How many kids do you each want? How many will you actually have? Has your own experience influenced your decisions?

[mrsmonogrammed]

Both my H and I are only children. I have always wanted 3-4 kids and he would be happy with 2-3.
As a young kid I always wanted a little sibling, but the older I got the more I enjoyed being the only one. After having this LO I do get the appeal of only having 1! So much easier to travel, more money available, etc. Maybe 2 kids would be a good compromise....

[Deleted]

DH and I are both the youngest of four.

Had I started having children sooner, I would have liked to have three. But our family is complete with two.

I don't think the family I grew up in influenced that. My brothers were so much older than me that I was an only child for the last half of my childhood.

[Widget123]

DH has 1 older brother. I am the oldest of 4, but for the youngest 2 i am more like an aunt than a sister sometimes because of the large age difference (13 and 18 years). Prior to having kids i said i wanted 3 because i cant imagine how different my life would be with just 1 sibling, but after having 2 kids i am firmly 2 and through. Being a parent is so challenging plus balancing that with work can be hard sometimes. If i change my mind it wont be anytime soon.

[turtletyme]

I have an identical twin. DH is the middle child. I really hoped for twins because it was so fun growing up with a built-in best friend, but if/when we have kid #2, it will be sooner rather than later, so hopefully the kids will be close.

DH was basically "the forgotten kid" due to his little sister having special needs and his parents not being very good at parenting. Even though his situation is not typical, as a result we would not have more than two kids unless the next one ends up being multiples.

[alayne926]

I have a sister and a brother and DH has 3 brothers.

We both want 2-3, but will probably be done with 2. We will wait a few years to decide, but kids are expensive!

[tiffbot]

I am the oldest if 3, I have a younger sister and brother.

H has a younger brother.

Therefore, h and I are both the oldest children, and obviously so is DS. We needed a second to start evening us out, lol!

But seriously, we have both talked about having 3. Being that DD is only 2 months and DS 2 years things are going well but busy, we'll see when or if baby fever strikes again! So far I'm very happy and content with the two of them, but when I think about being done I still sometimes get that pang of wanting another.

I would say I was influenced by having siblings in my decision. I love mine a lot and we are very close. I'm hoping my kids can have that too!

[carolyngrace]

I am the youngest of four girls. DH is the oldest of three.

I'm not sure either of us know exactly how many kids we want right now. I loved having a big family. However, I don't want to give birth more than one more time. And we have always talked about adopting older children at some point.

So, tentatively I'm thinking will have one more and then look into adopting once our bio children are old enough to be a part of that conversation.

[Deleted]

I have 1 brother that is 2 1/2 years older then me
I would have had another sibling but my mom miscarried

DH has 2 older brothers and 1 younger step sister. his experience growing up was mostly that he was raised by his mom and grandmother after age 12. His parents divorced at I think age 11 and he went to live w his mom in the U.S. And his other siblings stayed in Canada. His dad then passed away when DH was 12. So then his sister lived w her mom. I think his oldest brother by then was in college in Canada and the middle brother I'm not sure where he lived but it was not w DH in the U.S.

DH only wanted 1 child. I'm not sure if it was due to our infertility issues conceiving a first and how tough that was emotionally on both of us or due to his upbringing. I
Always wanted 2 but because he was so adamant about wanting 1 I let it go until I ended up pregnant again unplanned. Now we are for sure done.

[musicfrk2002]

I have 2 younger sisters. My mom got remarried after my dad passed away, and with that I gained a younger stepbrother and an older stepsister. H has one younger brother.

We both wanted 2 kids, but we may be OAD due to my heart issues. We'll see. I just worry about J being lonely if he is an only child. We may consider adoption, but that would be at least 3 to 4 years down the road. We might not even try to adopt, and it just be the 3 of us. Things are pretty up in the air right now.

[sabrinaml]

I am the middle child of 3. 2 brothers, my older brother is almost 5 years older and my little brother is 3 1/2 years younger. (Not on purpose, my parents had a hard time conceiving me and my little brother. )
DH has a sister exactly 2 years younger than him.

I've always wanted 2 and DH is ok with 1-3.

We've agreed on 2 kids, and they'll be close in age. I originally wanted to start trying for #2 when Cole around 8 months but my dr highly suggested I wait until he's at least one due to all my swelling and developing HELLP during my pregnancy. We'll see what happens.

[missjenniebean]

I have 2 brothers and a sister.
He has a brother and a sister.

We both want her to have at least one more sibling, if not two.

Finances are a part of it.
I do believe having siblings have influenced us in our decision.

Eta: With his family living in another country and him having his brother here, we also find it important for support and so she has someone to share memories with other than future cousins.

[carolyngrace]

budders, I also need some strong memory loss to kick in before I get pregnant again. Of the birth, though, not the pregnancy. For that reason I think we'll wait a few years even though I'd like my kids close together for career reasons.

[thecatsmeow]

One younger brother for me - 2.5yr separation
Older brother and younger sister for DH - 3yrs separating each

This is our first. We are hoping for two but it will probably be a couple yrs before trying again. Having a sib definitely influenced me. I am very close with my brother. I love having someone with a shared history who really gets it when I vent about our parents, dad in particular. We also share interests and have a similar sense of humor. I would like that for my son, but know that isn't a given, DH gets along with his sibs but they are not particularly close.

[ravinraven216]

I have an older sister and grew up with a moderately large family, DH has a younger brother and a small family.

In a perfect world I'd like 2-3 kids, but they're expensive and after 2 I'd be spending my whole salary on childcare. It'll be at least 3 years before we try for another if we do at all. We'll see where we stand money-wise and go from there.

My sister and I are both introverts and while I'm fond of her, I don't think I derived any real benefit from having a sibling. I'd rather devote our resources to providing the best for one child than struggling to keep up with more.

[billyhorrible]

I have a brother a little over 2 years younger than I am. DH has a half brother 9 years older, and as a result was pretty much raised as an only child.

Originally we both wanted three, although I've always said I didn't think I could handle three of the same sex, so now that we have two boys, I'm officially done. DH decided during my pregnancy he'd prefer to stop at two for financial reasons, but then had second thoughts in the delivery room when BH turned out to be a boy. He's a little sad to never have a daughter, but having a third wouldn't guarantee that anyway.

I was definitely influenced by my relationship with my brother. When my dad died, I was so glad to have him, both because no one understood like he did, but also because it helped to have someone to shoulder the burden of my mother. I wanted that for LBB. But I realize this isn't a given, because DH's brother doesn't help with their mother at all, even though he lives next door to her. I think it depends on how the importance of family is stressed (or neglected) by the parents.

[turtletyme]

budders I just told a friend yesterday how a screaming pooping baby was a dream compared to how much I effin hated being pregnant. She looked at me like I was insane. I hope I can get my memory erased too.

[jessila]

I'm the youngest of 3 with a much older brother (14 years) and an older sister (5 years).
H is the middle of three boys one brother is 4 years older the other is 6 years younger.

H has always wanted 2, I've varied from 2 to 4. We'll probably stop at 2. I hated being pregnant and L&D was not so good. We plan to wait to start trying until Owen is 2. H wanted them to be less than 2 years apart and I put my foot down. I want Owen to be at least somewhat self sufficient when the next baby comes and there's a big difference between a 2 yo and a 3 yo.

Something inside me tells me I'm supposed to have 3 kids. Hopefully it isn't twins next time and it's more like adopting later.

In reality, we want our kids out of the house when we are around 50 years old :-)

[tatersalad]

I have a younger brother, and we are great friends even with a 4 year age difference.
DH is an only child.
I've always wanted 2 children so they could experience a sibling relationship. DH wavered between wanting 1-2 children and I agreed to be one and done if it was that important to him. After he went through some counseling regarding parenting anxiety he decided that it was important to him that we have two children so they wouldn't face the loneliness he felt while caring for aging parents and experience the lack of outside family now that both of his parents have passed. We got pregnant the minute we decided to be open to two children, and are definitely done now that hubs vasectomy was a success.

[sully326]

I'm an only child, DH has an older brother & a younger sister.

He wanted 3, I said my whole life that I wanted 6....Well, we have our boy & girl, I tied my tubes. No more babies. When we got pregnant & found out it was a girl we both agreed to be done.

[wegrowsheep]

I'm the middle child and only girl. The age span between my . brothers is 4 years, so we're all pretty close. DH is the youngest of 3, with an older brother and sister, and their age gap is 5 years (oldest to youngest).

We originally thought 3-5 was a good number, but my first pregnancy was hell. We got pregnant again when DD was 13 months, and #2 was as bad as the first. We figured we'd be done, both for my sanity (I don't love puking, as it turns out), and because DH wasn't having luck keeping a steady job. And then surprise, #3 came along....

No more though, he's getting fixed. If this job turns out to be lucky #5, then we'll look at adoption in a few years, but I'm really over being pregnant.
Also, the age gaps are 22 months between DD and DS#1, and 4 years (almost exactly) between DS#1 and DS#2.

[ladysif]

I have an older brother and DH is middle of three.

We always said two, but I just never thought I would have two boys. That shook my world more than I thought it would. I 100% do not feel done. I want to be pregnant one more time, I want to try for a girl. I can handle three boys if that's what is in store for me, but I have to try. DH is on the fence but I think he will come around. It changes things for sure, but I am glad we have time and the opportunity to really consider it.

Having siblings definitely influenced us to have more than one child.

[kemdupuis]

DH and I are both the oldest in our families. I have one younger brother and he has two brothers and a sister.

We want atleast 2 kids, maybe 3, max. I love how close DH is with his siblings- they are spaced out pretty evenly- about a year and a half between each kid. My brother and I are 5 years apart and don't have much of a relationship at all. I think 2-3 years between kids is a good balance, but we'll see how that works out!

[carolyngrace]

Aug 12, 2015 20:36:57 GMT -5 ladysif said:

I have an older brother and DH is middle of three.

We always said two, but I just never thought I would have two boys. That shook my world more than I thought it would. I 100% do not feel done. I want to be pregnant one more time, I want to try for a girl. I can handle three boys if that's what is in store for me, but I have to try. DH is on the fence but I think he will come around. It changes things for sure, but I am glad we have time and the opportunity to really consider it.

Having siblings definitely influenced us to have more than one child.

I have so many friends who had two boys... Two ended up with girls for their third, three now have 3 boys, and a couple decided that two boys was about all they could handle

Seriously weird though, almost everyone with kids around me started with two boys. And I have a boy... I'm convinced #2 will be a boy!

[mrsmonogrammed]

Aug 12, 2015 20:36:57 GMT -5 ladysif said:

I have an older brother and DH is middle of three.

We always said two, but I just never thought I would have two boys. That shook my world more than I thought it would. I 100% do not feel done. I want to be pregnant one more time, I want to try for a girl. I can handle three boys if that's what is in store for me, but I have to try. DH is on the fence but I think he will come around. It changes things for sure, but I am glad we have time and the opportunity to really consider it.

Having siblings definitely influenced us to have more than one child.

If our next is another girl I'm 100% DH will go for having a third and trying for a boy. Which I won't lie, I'd love to have a boy too so that would be ok with me! I feel the same as you though, I can handle 3 girls if that's what in store for me, I just have to be sure DH can handle it;)

[tulips114]

I have one older sister, 4 years older.

DH has an older sister plus 3 younger half brothers on his dad's side and a younger half sister on his mom's side.

I think DH wanted 2 kids. I have always wanted 4. We are done now with 3. Although part of me hopes for an oops so we can have one more. I don't feel done, but I'm not sure I ever would. I love being pregnant and having babies. I get really sad thinking I will never be pregnant or have a teeny tiny baby again.

I guess my experience probably influenced my decision, I can't imagine life without my sister. Although we weren't great friends growing up, we're close now. IDK though I've just always wanted 4 kids. Not really sure why.

[pghtruelove]

How many siblings do you and your H have?
I have a total of 7 siblings but my family life is pretty complicated to understand. So I grew up with 1 brother (Zach) until I was 12 then a brother and sister(Paul and Emily) from 15 on.
SO has an older brother who is 10 years older than him.

How many kids do you each want?
I always wanted 5
SO 4

How many will you actually have?
3 maybe 4 if we don't have a boy by number 2 and 3.
Then I would love to adopt a 4-6 year old once my kids were all a bit older.

Has your own experience influenced your decisions?
I think having siblings is one of the most important relationships you can have in your life.

[bendherova]

me: i have one sister who is 3 yr older.

Dh: older half bro ( like 6-7 yr older) who lived with his mother, so they didn't see each other all the time, and a younger brother by 7 yrs.


We are done with two. I think if one of us had been an only, we may have stopped after DS 1.

[baileybaileybne]

Aug 13, 2015 5:59:39 GMT -5 pghtruelove said:

I think having siblings is one of the most important relationships you can have in your life.

I agree. No shade to those happy with one child, but for me I always said if I have one, I'll have two. I had a great relationship with my older sister growing up, but not so much the even older two siblings. That makes me want to have my two close together (meaning within 3 years of each other).

I'm scared having LO will make me reluctant to have another if I get really overwhelmed but at this stage I'm still determined to give her a sibling! If that fails, my (close) sister has just announced she's having a girl in February (probably her only child) so at least my LO will have a cousin close in age to play with. It's going to be so great!

[sunnyb]

I'm an only child.
My H has a twin brother and a younger brother.

I was interested in having 1 or 2 before started IVF and we thought we were fertile. When we realized we had infertility I decided I wanted 3-4.

My H always wanted 3. He wanted twins and a 3rd. Now that we have the twins my H is ready to be done lol.