Thursday Family/In-Law Vents

[mcbaby]

I've waited all week to bitch about my boyfriend's mom (I'll say MIL, it's easier to type).
This is the first grandchild on both sides of our family and I understand everyone's excitement! However, MIL is getting on my last nerve. I am extremely grateful for her support and according to boyfriend she is throwing one of our showers. She is not my favorite family member (boyfriend and I both kind of prefer his stepmom for good reasons), but I appreciate her nonetheless. The past two weeks, since we revealed the sex of our son, she has blown up our phones almost everyday. She constantly asks boyfriend what we are naming our son and suggesting names, then gets annoyed and complains when we tell her we are not revealing the name until birth. She has a sort of "I'm the grandma, I get special privileges" attitude. She also always texts me about things she finds on yard sale/secondhand sites and asks if she can get them. I have told her many times where we are registered and that she can buy whatever she wants. As long as it is clean, smoke free, and safe, I don't care what anyone buys to be used at their homes. I've got most of the items needed that we will use at our home. She continues to text me whether I respond or not.
I know it's not really a big deal, but it's very annoying and I needed to vent

So let's here those family problems, ladies!

[orangepickle]

mcbaby Have you asked your boyfriend to talk to her? Might be better coming from him to tell her to back off a bit.

[mcbaby]

Jan 15, 2015 9:10:26 GMT -5 orangepickle said:

mcbaby Have you asked your boyfriend to talk to her? Might be better coming from him to tell her to back off a bit.

I've told him about it and he says he just ignores her when she texts him too much. That's usually when she starts texting me. If she doesn't slow down or stop I'll ask him to talk to her.

[veganontuesdays]

I normally don't have many complaints about my family or inlaws but babies bring out the crazy in some people. My SIL and MIL have a strained relationship from things that happened 20 years ago. Well my SIL has been a little icey towards me which is definitely not her MO. We have always gotten along really well and I absolutely adore her. I was talking to my MIL the other day and she had said how excited she was for our son to be here and then she immediately said "oops, I need to be careful about how much I say that because SIL made a comment that at least I am excited about THIS baby because I wasn't excited about her kids...". UGH really? That is what this is all about? Something that isn't true and I have NO control over? Good grief. SIL is married to an awful man and my MIL has a hard time hiding the fact that she thinks my SIL made a poor choice, so when she found out they were having kids I think she was slightly disappointed that my SIL would HAVE to be connected to this man for the rest of her life. It is sad but again, this has nothing to do with me. I am sure it will blow over but it is so strange.

[veganontuesdays]

mcbaby I can definitely see how her constant communication with you about the baby would feel incredibly abrasive and overwhelming. I get that she is excited but she needs to back off a tad. Unfortunately I don't have any advice about how to go about that "smoothly". Seems like either way, feelings would be hurt... Sorry!!!

[SassyPants150]

I have to go to FIL's office to drop off DD for her overnight trip tonight. It annoys the piss out of me that I always have to go there. It's in a corporate and industrial park area and a PITA to get around during lunch time. MIL actually asks what is convenient for me. I'll actually be more active on this thread now that it's less public.

[stephaniesee]

I got a tongue lashing by my BIL's gf on Christmas Eve bc I wasn't "supportive" of her pregnancy (let it be known I had 2 m/c's during the first 20 weeks, I never liked the girl due to a lot of messed up stuff she did to me and my family - fight at my wedding, started drama with my brother, but I bought her a stroller and invited them over for dinner when they tried to live on their own for 1.5 months). I told her I wish I could apologize but I was in a bad place etc but I bit my tongue let her get her resentment out (it took a lot of liquid courage for her to do this). NOW, what kind of "support" did she expect bc her nor my BIL have gone out of their way for one second to show any sort of support (not that I want or need it). Basically she's a whiney little girl who expects everyone to go crazy over her but doesn't do a damn thing for anyone else.

[mcbaby]

Oh my, it sounds like you've got your own personal troll stephaniesee ! At least with the way your last sentence describes her. You're a bigger person than I am because I would've called her out on that ?

[lolacachia]

My MIL is really pushing my buttons. She is a very sweet and loving woman with normally good intentions, but she has her moments and can become manipulative. This pregnancy has brought out some characteristics I don't appreciate and I have started to distance myself somewhat. Some examples:

Early on, we made the decision to allow both the moms into labor and delivery. Now I'm kind of regretting that but it is what it is. She refuses to accept or believe that I don't want her looking between my legs when the baby is crowning!! I'm so floored by this and find it really disrespectful that when I try and discuss it she laughs and says I won't care in the moment.

DH's sister, who we have not spoken to by choice in over 2 years, let's MIL way overstep boundaries so that MIL will buy her all kinds of stuff for their child. She also had her daughter spend the night and be babysat by MIL multiple times per week for the sole purpose of going out with her DH including getting high. This is all creating expectations on MIL's part that I just do not think are reasonable. While i will definitely use her for occasional sitting, my newborn isn't coming over for sleepovers, sorry.

Finally, sort of, my MIL and mom are throwing me a shower together. The only thing I have requested is regarding the date bc MIL keeps insisting the shower needs to be middle/late April and I am due May 2!!! We talked about this multiple times with her insisting it's fine and I won't go into labor early, blah blah blah. Ugh you can't know that. The other part of the date thing is that my Grandma is coming up from our home state of SC, and I was so excited that she would be able to attend my shower. I asked MIL if she could check dates in March so the plane tickets for Grandms could be made with that in mind; she tells me oh March 28 or April 4 are available at the place your mom and I want. I think we should do April 4. Omfg, I can't even at this point. Then a few days later I stand up for myself and say March 28, I don't want to go past March. She then tells me other March dates were available but the two dates she gave me were the ones in the timeframe I wanted. You have to be kidding me?! My response was a curt ok, thanks. Have barely talked to her in 3 days. I don't want to come off as ungrateful, but I honestly don't think my opinion of the date is too much to respect; I don't want to be 36 weeks pregnant or more trying to attend a shower. I don't want to go into labor and miss the dang thing, and I still need to be able to set everything up as well as buy the remainder of stuff from the registry.

Still reading my novel? Thank you! Taking a few deep breaths..

[mcbaby]

lolacachia maybe try to tell your mom about your date preferences and other adjustments you want? Then she can kind of be your advocate and you're not the bad guy.

[stephaniesee]

Jan 15, 2015 11:02:35 GMT -5 mcbaby said:

Oh my, it sounds like you've got your own personal troll stephaniesee ! At least with the way your last sentence describes her. You're a bigger person than I am because I would've called her out on that ?

Honestly I just let her babble, I most definitely stood up for myself but she's not very smart and doesn't understand the whole idea of "do unto others"

[lolacachia]

Jan 15, 2015 11:21:50 GMT -5 mcbaby said:

lolacachia maybe try to tell your mom about your date preferences and other adjustments you want? Then she can kind of be your advocate and you're not the bad guy.

Oh trust me, we have talked about it.. Lol! Most things I have learned to just roll my eyes and move on. It just seems like with the baby coming, there are a lot of things to roll my eyes at!!

[lolacachia]

Jan 15, 2015 10:35:35 GMT -5 stephaniesee said:

I got a tongue lashing by my BIL's gf on Christmas Eve bc I wasn't "supportive" of her pregnancy (let it be known I had 2 m/c's during the first 20 weeks, I never liked the girl due to a lot of messed up stuff she did to me and my family - fight at my wedding, started drama with my brother, but I bought her a stroller and invited them over for dinner when they tried to live on their own for 1.5 months). I told her I wish I could apologize but I was in a bad place etc but I bit my tongue let her get her resentment out (it took a lot of liquid courage for her to do this). NOW, what kind of "support" did she expect bc her nor my BIL have gone out of their way for one second to show any sort of support (not that I want or need it). Basically she's a whiney little girl who expects everyone to go crazy over her but doesn't do a damn thing for anyone else.

Sounds like the sort of person who just wants drama and will do anything to get it. Nod politely and smile when you have to see her socially. Bitch to DH later and vent away to us!

[Deleted]

I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL.

Carry on.

[brittneysandra]

Jan 18, 2015 18:00:37 GMT -5 reginaphalange said:

I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL I hate my MIL.

Carry on.

Same!! 
What Happened? 

[amelandre]

Yeah, @gfj48, dish!

[Deleted]

Oh just the usual. She just annoys me. DH was on the phone with her & I could hear her bullshit because she talks so loud...

[SassyPants150]

FIL bitched that we didn't have a fucking birthday banner at DD birthday party tonight. He bitched at DH last year that her party wasn't enough and he would start planning them because we didn't have banners and balloons. There was nowhere for a fucking banner. Just shut the fuck up and let us handle doing things for our own kids.

[Poppy]

Jan 18, 2015 23:46:34 GMT -5 SassyPants150 said:

FIL bitched that we didn't have a fucking birthday banner at DD birthday party tonight. He bitched at DH last year that her party wasn't enough and he would start planning them because we didn't have banners and balloons. There was nowhere for a fucking banner. Just shut the fuck up and let us handle doing things for our own kids.

Don't you know banners that kids can't read at their parties are the end all be all of decorations?! Top party priority!!

[amelandre]

Jan 18, 2015 23:46:34 GMT -5 SassyPants150 said:

FIL bitched that we didn't have a fucking birthday banner at DD birthday party tonight. He bitched at DH last year that her party wasn't enough and he would start planning them because we didn't have banners and balloons. There was nowhere for a fucking banner. Just shut the fuck up and let us handle doing things for our own kids.

You didn't have a BANNER? For a BIRTHDAY PARTY? Geez, I mean, do you even care about your daughter at all? What the guys in the bowling league must think of you now... Oy.

Lol someone's FIL has too much time on his hands. He sounds like a real treasure.

[SassyPants150]

Jan 19, 2015 10:24:38 GMT -5 amelandre said:

Lol someone's FIL has too much time on his hands. He sounds like a real treasure.

I'm hoping that one of two things occur soon. Either adding two more grandchildren will make him chill out or my SIL who is the last person on earth who needs to reproduce will bring more babies to take the attention off me! He's ridiculous.