Post by summergirl1211 on Aug 17, 2015 8:39:49 GMT -5
Win: We had a long weekend with some time away and I really liked the one-on-one time I had with Riley. She was frustrating and overwhelming many times, but I just love that little girl to death. We've been so busy with our house stuff that it was nice to focus on just her for awhile.
Whine: It's Monday and I don't want to be working. Blah.
Win: The painters are coming today to paint our kitchen and we're getting new carpet tomorrow!
Whine: Our house is crazy right now and it makes me anxious. I hate having things out of place!
Whine: We spent the last Sunday before I go back to work with my IL.
Win: I had a real good talk with my MIL. She's not comfortable babysitting the kids when they're so young, but maybe she'll come play with them when I'm crazy busy this year, so I can at least clean. I work full-time and only put the kids in daycare part time, so things can get a bit insane.
Post by xanthepants on Aug 17, 2015 9:12:21 GMT -5
Win: I finally got H to sign the paperwork for the realtors, got 2 more rooms painted, had one more good talk with him (along with one insane one) and a great day out with summergirl.
Whine: Saw a perfect house on a lake although the place is a good $20,000 above our max. It's also on a busy road and across from a our munitions site that has a questionable clean-up history. So maybe not quite perfect but so close finally. I feel like I'll never find the one.
Win: My H called my MIL out on the allergy thing and she tried to spin it but my H wouldn't let her. It was good that someone got it out in the open. After that happened she clammed up the rest of the day and then didn't feel good so they went back to their hotel at 4pm and we didn't see them the rest of the night.
Win: They decided to go up to the Cape for the next two days so we won't see them again until (maybe) Wednesday.
Whine: One of our managers here lost his 1 1/2 year old son (his only child) to cancer last week and I am about to head out to the funeral now. Cancer sucks and while I wish it wouldn't ever take anyone's life, I especially wish that it would never take the life of a poor innocent child. I have no idea how he and his wife are coping and I don't know how I am going to hold it together during the mass.
Post by cookiesandwine on Aug 17, 2015 9:31:58 GMT -5
Good luck cbear! Sounds like a dream job schedule-wise!
Whine: Lucas has a fever No other symptoms thankfully. Waiting for a call back from the dr and hoping I can find someone to pawn Sadie off on in case I have to take him in.
Win: even more baby cuddles.
Whine: less than understanding big sister.
Whine: H is acting pretty lazy and it's pissing me off. I suspect he thinks I should be doing all the dishes and cleaning since I'm home during the day. Nope, busy keeping our kids alive.
Post by origamimommy on Aug 17, 2015 9:42:28 GMT -5
laurski81, a friend of mine recently lost her daughter to cancer. It's awful. I will keep them in my thoughts and prayers.
Whine: Work is slow and I am grasping at straws to find stuff to do right now.
Win: My boss took her car in to the body shop and has to get a rental, so hopefully she'll be gone a good long time.
Whine: Tyler's first day of preschool and I forgot to take a picture. I am really sad.
Win: I accepted the "20 in 30" challenge from Pure Barre (20 classes in 30 days) and if I complete it I am going to reward myself with a pair of Lululemon pants, since those things are freaking expensive. I'm not getting any fall clothes until after this challenge, too.
Win: My friend gave me a bag on Friday and said it was "something adorable and facebook worthy" and I think it's going to be her asking me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding (!!!!!!)
Whine: She won't let me open it until end of week and I am literally dying to find out.
laurski81 Sending thoughts to both you and your boss.
origamimommy Take a picture tomorrow morning, pretend it's his pic from the first day, and soon enough you'll actually forget it was the second day.
Win: My baby is in my arms.
Whine: The daycare provider called me to come get him because he was crying inconsolably and she knows I never let either child cry. I'm grateful she called but a bit worried he only lasted an hour his first day in daycare.
Post by summergirl1211 on Aug 17, 2015 10:41:07 GMT -5
Congratulations on the job Riverdong11! That's amazing news!
laurski81, that's so sad. Losing a child to anything is awful. Before Riley was born my friend and his wife lost their 3 month old son to SIDS. I went to the funeral and bawled the entire time. It's just not fair.
Post by summergirl1211 on Aug 17, 2015 11:35:02 GMT -5
laurski81, I just caught up on the Chat thread and read about your MIL. She seriously has some issues. I feel bad for your SIL that she is being controlled and manipulated like that. Does your FIL ever stand up to her? He's got to see this is a problem. I'm sad for you and that whole entire family. What a mess.
xanthepants, if your H backs out on you after you do all of this work and decides not to move I think I will come over and punch him in the junk (not saying that he will, but you know what I mean). It's so much work and the fact that he's not helping makes me angry for you. I really hope you can find a great house that you both love!
laurski81, I just caught up on the Chat thread and read about your MIL. She seriously has some issues. I feel bad for your SIL that she is being controlled and manipulated like that. Does your FIL ever stand up to her? He's got to see this is a problem. I'm sad for you and that whole entire family. What a mess.
I feel incredibly bad for my SIL. My H has told me that when she was graduating high school there was a community that she could have gotten into where she would live outside the home in an assisted living type place with other people dealing with the same things she was, and be given a job, etc but his parents (Mom) said absolutely not. Disclaimer: it wasn't a cost thing at all. My H said that his sister got really depressed about it because all of her friends were going but my MIL didn't want her living away from them. My FIL just kind of sits back and just doesn't say/do anything. They are overall very strange people. I sometimes wonder how my H isn't like that but he told me that they focused so much attention on her growing up that they really didn't bother much with him which is also really sad. I know that she is not hurting her but it's like she just can't let go or let her live her life. She wants to control EVERYTHING about what the sister says, does, eats, etc; it is awful.
Ok...and this may come across as awful but...I am terrified for what will happen when my MIL and FIL pass someday. What will happen to my SIL? I will definitely help to figure out her living situation but I will not have her come to live with us for any permanent amount of time and have to care for her everyday. That may sound awful and but she is 100% capable of living alone and socializing and having a somewhat "normal" life. But my MIL is making it so she does not have one and is only making her retreat further and further into herself. My H says that she was so much better when she was in high school because she was around friends but now she doesn't socialize at all. She still will barely talk to me and she has know me for a long time now. I am terrified for when my ILs go because then she is going to have to deal with the deaths and then living by herself for the first time all at once. Obviously we would set her up in an assisted living type place but even still who knows what kind of affect that will have on her.
Whine: I'm ready to be done this pregnancy but I'm just hitting week 26, so I still have a while to go. I feel so much shittier than I did the first time and I feel out of control of my body.
Win: I dunno. DH and I had a date last night which we don't get to do very often. I felt kind of sick the whole date, but it was still nice to have some adult time with him.
Post by xanthepants on Aug 17, 2015 13:12:29 GMT -5
laurski81, That is my BIL as well. My MIL has set it up so that he goes over there every Friday and spends the entire weekend with them. She does the laundry, cooks meals for him to take back to his apartment etc. (He is legally blind with a learning disability but has a subsidized apartment). He also has 0 friends. It will fall on us for his care since they have all but alienated him. It's not nearly as bad as your situation is sounding but I wish it was taken care of differently and that they would invest time in getting him involved in something to help him be more active socially or more self sufficient because he is completely capable of it. But she likes controlling all things and being the victim with the poor, poor Son.
Whine: Kayleigh has this nasty looking rash all over her arms, shoulders and even her face. It doesn't really look like a heat rash either...if its not cleared up it looks like she will be going to the doctor tomorrow.
Whine: My house is filthy. I'm overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I need to do around here, but we've been so busy or away on the weekends I have no time to do it.
Whine: I have bug bites all over my ankles from our camping trip and I just want to rip off my skin at this point.
Win: H and I had a good talk about of little dip it appears our marriage has taken on our way up to camping. I've been beating myself up about it (so busy with everything else that sometimes he gets placed on the backburner) but he was really understanding and supportive.
laurski81, I just caught up on the Chat thread and read about your MIL. She seriously has some issues. I feel bad for your SIL that she is being controlled and manipulated like that. Does your FIL ever stand up to her? He's got to see this is a problem. I'm sad for you and that whole entire family. What a mess.
I feel incredibly bad for my SIL. My H has told me that when she was graduating high school there was a community that she could have gotten into where she would live outside the home in an assisted living type place with other people dealing with the same things she was, and be given a job, etc but his parents (Mom) said absolutely not. Disclaimer: it wasn't a cost thing at all. My H said that his sister got really depressed about it because all of her friends were going but my MIL didn't want her living away from them. My FIL just kind of sits back and just doesn't say/do anything. They are overall very strange people. I sometimes wonder how my H isn't like that but he told me that they focused so much attention on her growing up that they really didn't bother much with him which is also really sad. I know that she is not hurting her but it's like she just can't let go or let her live her life. She wants to control EVERYTHING about what the sister says, does, eats, etc; it is awful.
Ok...and this may come across as awful but...I am terrified for what will happen when my MIL and FIL pass someday. What will happen to my SIL? I will definitely help to figure out her living situation but I will not have her come to live with us for any permanent amount of time and have to care for her everyday. That may sound awful and but she is 100% capable of living alone and socializing and having a somewhat "normal" life. But my MIL is making it so she does not have one and is only making her retreat further and further into herself. My H says that she was so much better when she was in high school because she was around friends but now she doesn't socialize at all. She still will barely talk to me and she has know me for a long time now. I am terrified for when my ILs go because then she is going to have to deal with the deaths and then living by herself for the first time all at once. Obviously we would set her up in an assisted living type place but even still who knows what kind of affect that will have on her.
Lauraski - do you know if your SIL is her own guardian? Or does MIL have guardenshil of her? Also I know you said your SIL is pretty high functioning - do you think she would possibly qualify for a service coordinator or an advocate from the state to help her reach some goals toward loving more independently?
Also - thoughts and prayers to your manager. I just can't even imagine. Just reading about it made me cry.
heatherbee, I believe my H's parents have guardianship over her but I am sure she would qualify for what you mentioned as she did once upon a time after she was graduating high school but my MIL just keeps holding her back. I don't know...my H has voiced his opinions time and time again about getting her into an assisted living community but MIL won't allow it.
heatherbee, I believe my H's parents have guardianship over her but I am sure she would qualify for what you mentioned as she did once upon a time after she was graduating high school but my MIL just keeps holding her back. I don't know...my H has voiced his opinions time and time again about getting her into an assisted living community but MIL won't allow it.
Ooo ... Maybe you guys could talk about having your H listed as guardian when your inlaws pass since it sounds like you guys would be really great at helping her find some programs that would support her. I know in my state guardenship all goes through the courts, but my students whose parents have been granted legal guardenship often have other people appointed in case something happens to them. Good luck - your MiL is so bat shit crazy, it's sad she is in charge of decisions for your SIL
heatherbee, I believe my H's parents have guardianship over her but I am sure she would qualify for what you mentioned as she did once upon a time after she was graduating high school but my MIL just keeps holding her back. I don't know...my H has voiced his opinions time and time again about getting her into an assisted living community but MIL won't allow it.
Ooo ... Maybe you guys could talk about having your H listed as guardian when your inlaws pass since it sounds like you guys would be really great at helping her find some programs that would support her. I know in my state guardenship all goes through the courts, but my students whose parents have been granted legal guardenship often have other people appointed in case something happens to them. Good luck - your MiL is so bat shit crazy, it's sad she is in charge of decisions for your SIL
Also you can bring it up now as a we have as a sort of passing the batton thing. We sort of had the conversation wrapped together with them that we were reviewing our own wills and plans about Cosette and wanted matter to be settled and have they figured out exactly what is going to happen with BIL etc. IT opened the door. Anyway, we know what they want. Not that we can meet it exactly because we have our own ideas as well and they have to understand that too. But eventually we will all get on the same page. And we are at least trying to engage BIL in his wishes a bit more - its a long conversation to say the least - but it's started.
Perhaps it's just a way to open the door for your SIL I guess. Eventually it will fall to your H and it would be nice to open that door sooner rather than later.
xanthepants, I agree and think that is a great idea. I am going to have my H address it before they leave on Saturday. He will have a good part of the day with them on Friday (and I will be gone with the kids) so it will be a good time for them to talk about this.
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