Post by hydrangea1019 on Aug 18, 2015 10:20:52 GMT -5
**I didn't see this yet so I hope it's ok I posted it.
The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive after a loss every week.
Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.
How are you doing?
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched)
Diagnosis (if applicable)
Updates/questions
Debbie downer (a place to vent)
GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax?
**If this is your first check-in, if you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!
Post by hydrangea1019 on Aug 18, 2015 10:27:08 GMT -5
How are you doing? Today seems to be a very good day. I feel pretty optimistic and hopeful for the future. Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC Diagnosis (if applicable): N/A Updates/question: I've been focusing time on my faith and I really feel like that's what has allowed my outlook to change to being more positive. Last week I felt very anxious and nervous and almost fearful. I made some changes within the last week and I just feel lighter. Debbie downer (a place to vent): August is flying by, which then means September will fly, and our EDD will be here before we know it. GTKY: I have a sound app on my phone that I play ocean sounds and just close my eyes. Even if it's only for 5 minutes, it helps me keep calm.
Post by hydrangea1019 on Aug 18, 2015 10:44:13 GMT -5
@led sorry that you're on your period it's an awful reminder. I love that you put coloring on the relaxation gtky! I haven't colored in years, but I can imagine that could be a great way to distract and relax.
Post by LadyNymeria on Aug 18, 2015 11:08:19 GMT -5
How are you doing? Alright so far today which is surprising considering the number of *OPP mentioned* pregnant ladies in the waiting room at my dr's office. Relieved no D&C (see update below).
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched until I get my first post-loss period
Diagnosis (if applicable): n/a
Updates/questions: Back from my follow-up ultrasound. There's a small bit left that both the ultrasound tech and the dr think is just a clot so no D&C! I really didn't think I responded that well to the misoprostol so I was relieved that everything passed. They also did a blood draw to check my hCG levels.
Now I'm just stuck waiting around for my period to decide to come back. I've resumed temping already so at least I'll know when I ovulated. Once I get my period they'll bring me in for another follow-up ultrasound and hCG check to make sure everything is back to pre-pregnancy normals. As long as everything looks good at the follow-up we'll be able to start trying again that cycle.
Debbie downer (a place to vent): NTTCALR, but my car decided not to start this morning. Thankfully MH decided he wanted to go with me to the appointment so we were able to take his truck instead. But now I' have to deal with my car.
GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax? Reading or watching TV are my go to's. After my bad news appointments the past couple weeks I was playing the video game Diablo III. Apparently it's therapeutic to kill a ton of monsters.
LadyNymeria, I'm so glad you won't need a D&C! I hope your cycle returns quickly and you can begin to move on from all this. Sorry about the car, though. That really sucks.
Post by LadyNymeria on Aug 18, 2015 11:14:02 GMT -5
hydrangea1019 - I'm glad your doing ok today. I'm glad you've been able to focus on your faith and that it is helping you through this time.
@led - I'm glad you're doing better than last week. Sorry you have your period. I've heard there are more and more adult geared coloring books out there. I should find some. I always loved coloring.
kayladawn91 - That's great about O-ing earlier. I see your last chart had an O-day of CD41 so hopefully this earlier date will become the new normal for you!
danib - That sucks about AF showing up when YH is getting home. I'm happy for you he will finally be home for a FW. That has to be frustrating to miss them because he's away.
LadyNymeria, I'm so glad you won't need a D&C! I hope your cycle returns quickly and you can begin to move on from all this. Sorry about the car, though. That really sucks.
Thanks!
We think it's the starter. Thankfully I bought the extended warranty when I bought the car so if it is the starter it should be covered still.
Post by wannabmama on Aug 18, 2015 11:24:53 GMT -5
How are you doing? A little frustrated
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched) TTC
Diagnosis (if applicable) n/a (H needs to get re-checked, his first SA was not good)
Updates/questions I'm currently 14dpo which is a long LP for me
Debbie downer (a place to vent) the only other LP this long was the month of my CP, I think I didn't test this AM sort of bc I'm scared of that...though I'd actually rather know. It's weird and complicated emotions. I got my BFP on 14dpo that time...I know no previous cycle means diddly for the current one, but I'm all kinds of turned around. Then, last night, MH asked if AF was here and I said no but that my temps were dropping and he got all super sad and sulked. He also thinks I should be more positive thinking...for the first few months he wanted to be clueless so he's only really focused since the loss. It's harder for me to be positive with a year of disappointment behind me. Sigh.
GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax? The barn is my sanctuary. It's almost impossible for me to go there and leave in a bad mood. I'd seriously be lost without that outlet. I also love to read in our backyard while the puppies play.
TTC since July 2014. CP March 2015. IVF #1 March 2016, 5R, 3M, 2F with ICSI. Transferred 2 on day 3. CP. Surprise BFP and then CP August 2016 (prep cycle for IVF). IVF #2: zero eggs retrieved IVF #3: 6R, 5M, 5F, 3 (2 8A and 1 11A) transferred, one "B" graded embryo frozen on day 5. BFP (at home 7dp3dt, confirmed 14dp3dt with 1552 beta) and U/S at 5w5d, 2 sacs and 2 yolks!
TTC since July 2014. CP March 2015. IVF #1 March 2016, 5R, 3M, 2F with ICSI. Transferred 2 on day 3. CP. Surprise BFP and then CP August 2016 (prep cycle for IVF). IVF #2: zero eggs retrieved IVF #3: 6R, 5M, 5F, 3 (2 8A and 1 11A) transferred, one "B" graded embryo frozen on day 5. BFP (at home 7dp3dt, confirmed 14dp3dt with 1552 beta) and U/S at 5w5d, 2 sacs and 2 yolks!
Post by shadesofgold on Aug 18, 2015 11:34:51 GMT -5
LadyNymeria, I'm so relieved for you. Hope things continue to right themselves.
How are you doing? I can swing from great and optimistic to terribly anxious and bitter a few times a day. Just trying to find a balance.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched) TTC. I might have O'd yesterday or the day before. I don't get strong temp spikes these days, so it is a matter of logging a few days of inching upward temps. Hopefully I did O because our timing would be awesome.
Diagnosis (if applicable) Short LPs (5 cycles with 8-10 days). CD3 labs came back normal except for high AMH.
Updates/questions In the same note as my OBGYN delivered my normal bloodwork results, she pushed Clomid. But if she does't think my ovaries are functioning, she didn't actually say so. She declined to test my progesterone (I think that is my issue) because the test is inaccurate. That doesn't bother me, but it did bother me that she went on to suggest that progesterone supplements had just as many drawbacks as Clomid. I was pretty put off that she doubled down hard and fast on Clomid. I took her offer to see an RE instead. I just want to get a specialist to slow down, look at my charts and my lab results and give me a clear assessment.
Debbie downer (a place to vent): See above. Nothing gives me anxiety like uncertainty. Of which TTC is a landmine, of course.
GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax? Good question - I'm looking for inspiration! I'm considering acupuncture for stress relief and potentially to help with my cycles. I've heard anecdotes of success. (My insurance doesn't cover any fertility treatments, but it does cover acupuncture.) I also have been trying gentle yoga and I'll use guided meditation videos on youtube to help get to sleep once in awhile.
Post by hydrangea1019 on Aug 18, 2015 11:37:16 GMT -5
LadyNymeria so glad you won't need a d/c after everything you went through. FX everything goes smoothly from here on out and you're good to go for next cycle. kayladawn91 FX this earlier O sticks around for you as your new normal! danib glad DH will be back in town for your next FW. It sucks when work pulls SOs away during that time. wannabmama it can definitely be scary to test after a loss. This past cycle my LP was longer than usual and I tested. It was a bit of a mind game but I'm glad I knew once I tested. How long are your usual LPs?
Post by LadyNymeria on Aug 18, 2015 11:40:27 GMT -5
wannabmama - I'm so sorry this cycle is causing so much stress and uncertainty. Are you planning to test at some point or continue to watch your temps and wait a bit longer?
shadesofgold - That's frustrating your OB is pushing Clomid so much. That's good she at least offered a referral to an RE instead. Do you know when you'll be able to get in to see one?
Post by wannabmama on Aug 18, 2015 11:51:10 GMT -5
hydrangea1019 and LadyNymeria I tested on 12DPO and it was neg (ff might be off by a day and it was 11/today I'm 13). I was going to test today if my temp was up but it dropped a bit again and I only have a digital so thought why waste it. My stomach is doing some crazy stuff...could be pms...so waiting it out but will test tomorrow if no AF unless maybe if the temp has totally nosedived. Hopefully I can pick up some other tests too.
Eta: my LPs are "usually" 10-12 (with an outlier +/-1 day on either side)
TTC since July 2014. CP March 2015. IVF #1 March 2016, 5R, 3M, 2F with ICSI. Transferred 2 on day 3. CP. Surprise BFP and then CP August 2016 (prep cycle for IVF). IVF #2: zero eggs retrieved IVF #3: 6R, 5M, 5F, 3 (2 8A and 1 11A) transferred, one "B" graded embryo frozen on day 5. BFP (at home 7dp3dt, confirmed 14dp3dt with 1552 beta) and U/S at 5w5d, 2 sacs and 2 yolks!
Post by wannabmama on Aug 18, 2015 12:06:55 GMT -5
pippacricket I say definitely get going with an RE. It can take time to get in, do testing, etc. so no harm in getting the ball rolling now! I also loooove my RE and even though we've barely done anything yet, I like just having her there, ha. I feel like she "gets it" and no one else does.
TTC since July 2014. CP March 2015. IVF #1 March 2016, 5R, 3M, 2F with ICSI. Transferred 2 on day 3. CP. Surprise BFP and then CP August 2016 (prep cycle for IVF). IVF #2: zero eggs retrieved IVF #3: 6R, 5M, 5F, 3 (2 8A and 1 11A) transferred, one "B" graded embryo frozen on day 5. BFP (at home 7dp3dt, confirmed 14dp3dt with 1552 beta) and U/S at 5w5d, 2 sacs and 2 yolks!
wannabmama - I'm so sorry this cycle is causing so much stress and uncertainty. Are you planning to test at some point or continue to watch your temps and wait a bit longer?
shadesofgold - That's frustrating your OB is pushing Clomid so much. That's good she at least offered a referral to an RE instead. Do you know when you'll be able to get in to see one?
Thank you. Yeah, I'm pretty disappointed in how things played out. I think part of the problem was that we were emailing back and forth, but also that she just isn't the expert in this stuff. We have an initial consult with the RE scheduled for Sept 18. It will be a long month.
Post by shadesofgold on Aug 18, 2015 12:11:00 GMT -5
Hope you can get in to see an RE soon pippacricket. If your practice is anything like mine, it can take a bit to get an appointment as a new patient anyway. I doubt they'll turn you away.
hydrangea1019, thanks for starting! Anyone can start it on Tuesday. I was being extra lazy this morning. I'm glad you're feeling optimistic! I feel like I'm stuck in a pessimistic rut right now.
@led big hugs lady. I'm sorry AF showed up. I'm glad you're doing better than last week though!
danib yay I'm glad YH will be home for your FW! Boo for him being home just in time for AF though.
LadyNymeria I'M SO HAPPY YOU DON'T NEED A D&C! Fingers crossed AF shows up soon. Mine waited until just after 6 weeks to show up. I was getting ready to call my midwife to figure out wtf was going on. I'm sorry about your car though and killing monsters is the best stress relief.
wannabmama big hugs lady. Maybe your could see what your temp does tomorrow and then test?
shadesofgold I know you know this but I wouldn't take Clomid from an obgyn. I'm glad you're going to an RE! I hope your find some answers!
pippacricket ILY lady. Sorry AF is showing up. You know I think you should get your butt to the RE!
How are you doing? Stressed. I still haven't found a job and I'm bored out of my mind. Boredom is not conducive to feeling better for me.
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched) I haven't decided yet this cycle, probably NTNP. AF is still here so I have some time. I will start temping again.
Diagnosis (if applicable) n/a
Updates/questions nada
Debbie downer (a place to vent) I'm just overall bored. Boredom leads to feeling sad. It doesn't help my SO hates his job currently so we're both in bad moods.
GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax? Video games (killing things is so therapeutic), reading, naps. If I'm REALLY stressed out or upset I will clean and/or bake. If you show up at my house and it's spotless and there are fresh baked goods, something is wrong.
Updates/questions does anyone have experience with thyroid have any insight into when I can see my bloodwork looking normal (I'm still experiencing symptoms). I am also on .1 mg of levothyroixine daily (and have seen some improvement)
Debbie downer (a place to vent) I want to curl up in a ball and cry. With MH just learning he has significant male factor issues I feel like it was just a miracle we were able to conceive a year ago and fear never getting pregnant again. I know that's irrational and we will be okay, my heart just breaks for DH who is taking the news badly (we both just assumed it was my issues preventing pregnancy)
GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax?
I love sitting on the dock or taking a bath. I'm also partial to yoga
If this is your first check-in, if you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries! [/quote]
Natural BFP in July of last year. One loss at 9weeks, miscarried naturally.
Me: 29 DH: 35 NTNP since May 2013 charting since June 2014 dx: Graves disease (radioactive iodine), Crohns disease (abdominal surgeries) MMC October 2015 (9 weeks) Severe MFI diagnosis July 2015
Post by LadyNymeria on Aug 18, 2015 12:25:57 GMT -5
Sorry about no job yet rablissful. Good luck in the hunt. Love that you included killing things in video games too. It really is helpful for getting some anger out!
Post by shadesofgold on Aug 18, 2015 12:45:41 GMT -5
I hope you can start a job you enjoy soon, rablissful! I know what you mean about boredom starting a downward spiral! Any interesting leads?
Hugs ihatepizza, I'm sorry you're having such a tough time with your thyroid in addition to approaching a sensitive milestone. I don't have any advice, but I hope you and YH can support each other through it all.
I've been puttering around the board the past little bit so I hope you don't mind if I join you. This check-in seemed like a good fit.
So a little about how I got here *loss mentioned*
I've had three positive pregnancy tests this year. The first two were CPs. This third one actually made it to miscarriage territory. I started spotting last Thursday night, just before 7 weeks and by the time I made it into the ultrasound on Friday I was bleeding and they couldn't find anything. An hour long vaginal probe to tell me my uterus was empty has got to rate among the worst experiences of my life.
How are you doing? Exhausted and raw. Just want the worst of the bleeding to stop.
Status: TTA until I get back to my cycle I guess.
Diagnosis: N/A
Updates/questions: I'm going to have a follow up with my doctor next week. First official loss so I'm guessing just a blood draw?
Debbie downer (a place to vent): Probably covered that one in my intro this week...
GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax?
I really enjoy my walks. Usually five miles at night when I can listen to my podcasts. I need to get back to it because I've been babying myself the past few days.
Post by kayladawn91 on Aug 18, 2015 12:56:59 GMT -5
pippacricket, I'm sorry you're at the point where you need to see an RE, but I hope you get some answers soon!
rablissful, job hunting definitely stresses me out too. I hope you find something soon!
ihatepizza, I'm sorry that you're approaching your loss date as well as dealing with everything else going on. Hugs to you!
sympkin, I'm so sorry you're currently dealing with another loss, but I'm glad you found our check-in! Hugs to you, I hope everything passes quickly for you.
I've been puttering around the board the past little bit so I hope you don't mind if I join you. This check-in seemed like a good fit.
So a little about how I got here *loss mentioned*
I've had three positive pregnancy tests this year. The first two were CPs. This third one actually made it to miscarriage territory. I started spotting last Thursday night, just before 7 weeks and by the time I made it into the ultrasound on Friday I was bleeding and they couldn't find anything. An hour long vaginal probe to tell me my uterus was empty has got to rate among the worst experiences of my life.
How are you doing? Exhausted and raw. Just want the worst of the bleeding to stop.
Status: TTA until I get back to my cycle I guess.
Diagnosis: N/A
Updates/questions: I'm going to have a follow up with my doctor next week. First official loss so I'm guessing just a blood draw?
Debbie downer (a place to vent): Probably covered that one in my intro this week...
GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax?
I really enjoy my walks. Usually five miles at night when I can listen to my podcasts. I need to get back to it because I've been babying myself the past few days.
Did you not tell your doctor about the two chemical pregnancies? Those are still official losses. I would really recommend mentioning them.
And I'm really sorry you're going through this and for your loss. *hugs*
Post by shadesofgold on Aug 18, 2015 12:59:39 GMT -5
Sending you hugs, sympkin. What a rough time. I hope you can find as much peace as possible this week and that you get some helpful advice from your doctor. Other folks can weigh in about the protocol with your history, but I'd guess you're getting into reasonable territory for a more involved assessment from your doctor or RE.
How are you doing? Alright so far today which is surprising considering the number of *OPP mentioned* pregnant ladies in the waiting room at my dr's office. Relieved no D&C (see update below).
Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched until I get my first post-loss period
Diagnosis (if applicable): n/a
Updates/questions: Back from my follow-up ultrasound. There's a small bit left that both the ultrasound tech and the dr think is just a clot so no D&C! I really didn't think I responded that well to the misoprostol so I was relieved that everything passed. They also did a blood draw to check my hCG levels.
Now I'm just stuck waiting around for my period to decide to come back. I've resumed temping already so at least I'll know when I ovulated. Once I get my period they'll bring me in for another follow-up ultrasound and hCG check to make sure everything is back to pre-pregnancy normals. As long as everything looks good at the follow-up we'll be able to start trying again that cycle.
Debbie downer (a place to vent): NTTCALR, but my car decided not to start this morning. Thankfully MH decided he wanted to go with me to the appointment so we were able to take his truck instead. But now I' have to deal with my car.
GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax? Reading or watching TV are my go to's. After my bad news appointments the past couple weeks I was playing the video game Diablo III. Apparently it's therapeutic to kill a ton of monsters.
I am SO relieved that you will not need the D&C. That must have been a weight lifted off of you. I remember going in for my follow-up U/S and it did suck seeing all of the pregnant women there in the waiting room ((hugs)) glad you got through it okay. I hope your hCG levels plummet quickly so you can get back to TTC if that is what you want to do!
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