TTCAL Check-In 8-18

[mosdub]

sympkin I'm so sorry for your losses, welcome to the check-in

[ihatepizza]

Aug 18, 2015 12:55:10 GMT -5 sympkin said:

Um, hey, hi, hello... awkwardness.



I've been puttering around the board the past little bit so I hope you don't mind if I join you. This check-in seemed like a good fit.

So a little about how I got here *loss mentioned*

I've had three positive pregnancy tests this year. The first two were CPs. This third one actually made it to miscarriage territory. I started spotting last Thursday night, just before 7 weeks and by the time I made it into the ultrasound on Friday I was bleeding and they couldn't find anything. An hour long vaginal probe to tell me my uterus was empty has got to rate among the worst experiences of my life.

How are you doing? Exhausted and raw. Just want the worst of the bleeding to stop.

Status: TTA until I get back to my cycle I guess.

Diagnosis: N/A

Updates/questions: I'm going to have a follow up with my doctor next week. First official loss so I'm guessing just a blood draw?

Debbie downer (a place to vent): Probably covered that one in my intro this week...

GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax?

I really enjoy my walks. Usually five miles at night when I can listen to my podcasts. I need to get back to it because I've been babying myself the past few days.

That sucks majorly, I remember being there and how terrible it felt being in that ultrasound room. IMO you should baby yourself as much as possible. The pain does get better, especially when all the hormones are out of your system. After my MC I didn't have bloodwork to follow my levels down to zero, I used a pregnancy test to confirm when all my hormones were gone. In hindsight bugging my doctor for the bloodwork probably would have been less triggering.

[hydrangea1019]

rablissful I hope you can find a job soon that you like. Being bored is no good for an active mind.
ihatepizza I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now. Sending you lots of ((hugs)) and support. I hope you and your H can support each other through this tough time.
sympkin sorry you find yourself here, but welcome. I'm sorry about your previous losses and your most recent. Take care of yourself. I hope the bleeding passes quickly for you.

[sympkin]

Thanks for the welcome and advice ladies.

@led, I did mention the CPs to my doctor but at the time he did seem unconcerned. Both were "early" tests that didn't have much impact on my cycles. He may change his thoughts on that given this miscarriage and I will certainly mention them again. He is generally a pretty laid back doctor but he has been good to me over the years, so I will see what he has to say first.

[rablissful]

shadesofgold no prospects yet, and the school year is about to start. I'm really bummed.

ihatepizza no experience with thyroid issues here, but I know there are ladies on the board with them so you could start a new thread asking. So many hugs to you and YH! I'm quickly approaching my first EDD and it's hard.

sympkin all the hugs to you! My heart breaks that you're going through another loss. Even if this is your first "official" miscarriage, I would still ask for RPL testing. I've had one official miscarriage and one cp and plan on asking for the testing when I eventually get my ass to the doctor. PM me if you need someone to vent to!

[LadyNymeria]

sympkin - Welcome. I'm so sorry for your losses. The ladies around here are wonderful and have made this whole unbearable process easier to get through.

[wannabmama]

ihatepizza ((hugs)) that's a lot on your plate, so something nice for yourself and for YH, too. Guys seem to have really hard time with IF related issues.

sympkin welcome! I wish you didn't have to be here but I'm glad you found us. I'm so so sorry for your losses. I hope the physical stuff takes care of itself quickly and you are bow to heal. The evening walks sound lovely. Once you're feeling up to it, I hope you can get back to them.

rablissful job stuff sucks! GL finding something.

[txmommy14]

So sorry sympkin, that all sounds so hard. LadyNymeria, other pregnant women in the waiting room is the WORST. Glad you don't need a D&C, but so sorry for what you've been through. pippacricket, so sorry about CD1 coming up. Glad you're getting the ball rolling with an RE.

[txmommy14]

How are you doing? I am doing okay. In the TWW now an started a few new things this cycle-OB prescribed me progesterone, plus taking iron and B12 because of some recent bloodwork that was done. I'm feeling hopeful because of that and that we had great timing, but also a debbie downer getting myself ready for the disappointment again.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched) TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable) No IF diagnosis, just extremely low iron and B12, luteal phase issues so taking progesterone this cycle

Updates/questions: I was going to stop temping during the TWW since i'm on progsterone, but I couldn't bring myself to not have the data. I thought my temps were going to be sky high because of the added progesterone, but they just seem to be in semi-normal post-O range, which surprised me.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): I have a terrible cold. I want to take meds, but don't want to dry up my CM.

GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax? I have terrible issues with insomnia, so no tips here. I am actually having an overnight sleep study done this Friday. I've tried everything!

[Deleted]

Aug 18, 2015 15:43:20 GMT -5 txmommy14 said:

How are you doing? I am doing okay. In the TWW now an started a few new things this cycle-OB prescribed me progesterone, plus taking iron and B12 because of some recent bloodwork that was done. I'm feeling hopeful because of that and that we had great timing, but also a debbie downer getting myself ready for the disappointment again.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched) TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable) No IF diagnosis, just extremely low iron and B12, luteal phase issues so taking progesterone this cycle

Updates/questions: I was going to stop temping during the TWW since i'm on progsterone, but I couldn't bring myself to not have the data. I thought my temps were going to be sky high because of the added progesterone, but they just seem to be in semi-normal post-O range, which surprised me.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): I have a terrible cold. I want to take meds, but don't want to dry up my CM.

GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax? I have terrible issues with insomnia, so no tips here. I am actually having an overnight sleep study done this Friday. I've tried everything!

If you're in the TWW, why worry about drying up your CM? Just use lube if you need it.

[txmommy14]

@led, don't you still need CM if you are in the earlier part of your TWW so the sperm can travel or the fertilized egg can travel? That's what I always though, maybe not, ha! If not, totally taking cold medicine!

[Deleted]

Aug 18, 2015 16:13:24 GMT -5 txmommy14 said:

@led, don't you still need CM if you are in the earlier part of your TWW so the sperm can travel or the fertilized egg can travel? That's what I always though, maybe not, ha! If not, totally taking cold medicine!

You're fine. Take the meds.

[txmommy14]

Thanks, @led! Ha. Duh. I really didn't think about it too much, obviously.

[mosdub]

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched) -- TTA/Benched until date unknown.

Diagnosis (if applicable) -- Still waiting for hCG to drop to 0 following partial molar pregnancy.

Updates/questions -- Having lots and lots of anxiety lately. So much so that I'm considering medication. I posted in the pregnancy loss forums regarding this. If anyone has any advice/anecdotal experience please head to that post. I think if you respond there (as opposed to here) it may be helpful in the future when someone searches for anxiety post-loss and can find a thread about it. At least, this makes sense in my semi-drunk brain. Here's the link for you lazies

Debbie downer (a place to vent) -- See above

GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax? WHAT AN APPROPRIATE QUESTION TODAY! I try to breathe deep or force myself to socialize. Even when I don't want to be around people I've been finding that it helps me to get out of my own head. Drawing/painting used to be an outlet for me too.

[mosdub]

rablissful I hope something becomes available soon. I know sometimes districts don't realize their shortages until the first week of school hits and they have a bump in enrollment. That certainly isn't the ideal way to start the school year but at least it could be something to keep you busy!

hydrangea1019 I'm glad you've been able to focus on your faith and find some peace.

[mosdub]

Glad you're feeling a little better @led, though I know it's still hard. ((hugs)) to you lady!

[rablissful]

mosdub I'm sorry you're dealing with anxiety. I have no advice for you though.
All the hugs friend!

[Deleted]

Aug 18, 2015 19:06:43 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Glad you're feeling a little better @led, though I know it's still hard. ((hugs)) to you lady!

SIL B is due this week and will be induced on Monday if she hasn't had the baby yet. So I'm working on bracing myself for that call/text. I got a text this afternoon asking if I wanted to guess when he would arrive. *sigh* The jealously and bitterness is overwhelming lately. It probably wouldn't be so bad if we had any sort of relationship. But when the only times I've talked to you in the last 3 years is for you to complain about a baby/pregnancy or tell me you're pregnant or having a baby, I can't make myself give a shit about your life. 

Ugh. I'll stop bitching now. Sorry.

[rablissful]

Aug 18, 2015 21:53:16 GMT -5 @led said:

Aug 18, 2015 19:06:43 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Glad you're feeling a little better @led, though I know it's still hard. ((hugs)) to you lady!

SIL B is due this week and will be induced on Monday if she hasn't had the baby yet. So I'm working on bracing myself for that call/text. I got a text this afternoon asking if I wanted to guess when he would arrive. *sigh* The jealously and bitterness is overwhelming lately. It probably wouldn't be so bad if we had any sort of relationship. But when the only times I've talked to you in the last 3 years is for you to complain about a baby/pregnancy or tell me you're pregnant or having a baby, I can't make myself give a shit about your life. 

Ugh. I'll stop bitching now. Sorry.

This is where we vent. You don't need to stop bitching.

[LadyNymeria]

Aug 18, 2015 21:53:16 GMT -5 @led said:

Aug 18, 2015 19:06:43 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Glad you're feeling a little better @led, though I know it's still hard. ((hugs)) to you lady!

SIL B is due this week and will be induced on Monday if she hasn't had the baby yet. So I'm working on bracing myself for that call/text. I got a text this afternoon asking if I wanted to guess when he would arrive. *sigh* The jealously and bitterness is overwhelming lately. It probably wouldn't be so bad if we had any sort of relationship. But when the only times I've talked to you in the last 3 years is for you to complain about a baby/pregnancy or tell me you're pregnant or having a baby, I can't make myself give a shit about your life. 

Ugh. I'll stop bitching now. Sorry.

I wish I could give you a break from everything you've been dealing with recently. Hugs. This is #3 right? Don't people always say things come in 3's? It has to be time for you to catch a break!

[Deleted]

Aug 18, 2015 22:15:01 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

Aug 18, 2015 21:53:16 GMT -5 @led said:

SIL B is due this week and will be induced on Monday if she hasn't had the baby yet. So I'm working on bracing myself for that call/text. I got a text this afternoon asking if I wanted to guess when he would arrive. *sigh* The jealously and bitterness is overwhelming lately. It probably wouldn't be so bad if we had any sort of relationship. But when the only times I've talked to you in the last 3 years is for you to complain about a baby/pregnancy or tell me you're pregnant or having a baby, I can't make myself give a shit about your life. 

Ugh. I'll stop bitching now. Sorry.

I wish I could give you a break from everything you've been dealing with recently. Hugs. This is #3 right? Don't people always say things come in 3's? It has to be time for you to catch a break!

This will be birth #2 of 3 this summer, and #4 will be in February.

[kayladawn91]

Hugs @led, this is an absolutely appropriate place to bitch, so go for it!

I'm also going to join the bitching club. Just need to vent - Warning: OPP mentioned

MIL just texted me: "So and so is having another baby! I just found out, but it can't be posted on FB yet. Also, it's a complete surprise and they weren't even trying!"

We both decided to just let the text sit there with no response, because any response I could configure right now wouldn't be very nice. She does not know about our loss, but I think she may suspect that we are TTC. Maybe not though. Instead of responding to the text, I went and blocked some people's posts from showing up on my FB so when it's announced on there I don't see it, and then I cried like a baby to MH. I seriously feel like every time I turn around someone else is announcing a pregnancy. And it stings every single time because I'm just reminded that I didn't get to announce mine to people and I should have a baby right now.

[LadyNymeria]

Aug 18, 2015 22:21:14 GMT -5 @led said:

Aug 18, 2015 22:15:01 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

I wish I could give you a break from everything you've been dealing with recently. Hugs. This is #3 right? Don't people always say things come in 3's? It has to be time for you to catch a break!

This will be birth #2 of 3 this summer, and #4 will be in February.

My #3 included that recent announcement you mentioned. I didn't realize you had even more coming up to deal with. I am so sorry this is all getting thrown at you pretty much all at once. Vent away! As much as you need.

Dear universe, give @led a friggen break!!!

[bazinga]

hydrangea1019 - Thank you for starting this week's thread. I'm glad you've been able to find some peace and are more hopeful this week.
@led - Glad you're having a better week so far.
kayladawn91, - Fx for you after your earlier O.
danib - I hope your time with your H is fun. It's hard spending so much time apart from an SO.
LadyNymeria - Sorry about your car troubles. I had someone hit ours yesterday and leave without a note or anything. Aagh!
wannabmama - I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated but I have my fingers crossed for you.
shadesofgold - Good luck for our Sept RE appointment.
pippacricket - I hope you can get to see a RE soon.
rablissful - I hope your job search is fruitful soon. I know when both my DH and I are unhappy at work we have a hard time not letting that spill over at home. Is your SO looking for a new job too?
ihatepizza - I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time, and your DH too. Sending you ((hugs)).
sympkin - I'm so sorry for what you're going through and that you find yourself here (as lovely as this group of ladies is).

[Deleted]

Aug 18, 2015 22:29:39 GMT -5 kayladawn91 said:

Hugs @led, this is an absolutely appropriate place to bitch, so go for it!

I'm also going to join the bitching club. Just need to vent - Warning: OPP mentioned

MIL just texted me: "So and so is having another baby! I just found out, but it can't be posted on FB yet. Also, it's a complete surprise and they weren't even trying!"

We both decided to just let the text sit there with no response, because any response I could configure right now wouldn't be very nice. She does not know about our loss, but I think she may suspect that we are TTC. Maybe not though. Instead of responding to the text, I went and blocked some people's posts from showing up on my FB so when it's announced on there I don't see it, and then I cried like a baby to MH. I seriously feel like every time I turn around someone else is announcing a pregnancy. And it stings every single time because I'm just reminded that I didn't get to announce mine to people and I should have a baby right now.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. *hugs*

[bazinga]

Oops, posted before my own update...

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched) -- Benched until mid-Sept following an EP.

Diagnosis (if applicable) -- n/a

Updates/questions -- I have a question about PNVs if OK to ask here. I'm very conscious about taking these after MTX treatment to make sure I've replenished my folic acid before TTC again. Can anyone recommend one that doesn't cause too much nausea? I've been taking the same ones (just CVS brand, but they're horse-pills) since starting TTC, but for some reason they're now making me feel ill no matter what time of day I take it, how soon after food etc.

Debbie downer (a place to vent) -- nothing this week.

GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax? Walking and focusing on breathing slowly/ deeply usually works wonders. Or a quiet 10min to sit outside, on my own and read (anything) can help me to decompress. And I've picked up some great ideas to add to my list - thank you all!

[Deleted]

Aug 19, 2015 0:31:20 GMT -5 bazinga said:

Oops, posted before my own update...

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched) -- Benched until mid-Sept following an EP.

Diagnosis (if applicable) -- n/a

Updates/questions -- I have a question about PNVs if OK to ask here. I'm very conscious about taking these after MTX treatment to make sure I've replenished my folic acid before TTC again. Can anyone recommend one that doesn't cause too much nausea? I've been taking the same ones (just CVS brand, but they're horse-pills) since starting TTC, but for some reason they're now making me feel ill no matter what time of day I take it, how soon after food etc.

Debbie downer (a place to vent) -- nothing this week.

GTKY: What are some relaxation techniques you use or things that you do to relax? Walking and focusing on breathing slowly/ deeply usually works wonders. Or a quiet 10min to sit outside, on my own and read (anything) can help me to decompress. And I've picked up some great ideas to add to my list - thank you all!

It's typically the iron that makes people feel ill. So I would recommend trying gummies since they don't have iron in them.  

[bazinga]

Thanks @led! I'll try that.

[mosdub]

@led and kayladawn91 I handed out LT's as hugs, I hope you know.

I'm sorry you both are having to attempt to put on a happy face with all of those reminders that it just seems to come easily to some people.


*Other people's babies mentioned*
My cousin is coming with her new baby to stay with us for several nights. I'm hosting a get together with all the other new moms in my life so they can all commiserate - I will have at least 4 moms with their toddlers/babies. I wouldn't say I'm in a jealous place but it's definitely a strong reminder in a sensitive time of the year for me (original EDD only a couple weeks away now). I'm trying to not dwell on it but wonder if my anxiety is related to me trying to actively ignore these big triggers.

[Deleted]

Aug 19, 2015 7:24:09 GMT -5 mosdub said:

@led and kayladawn91 I handed out LT's as hugs, I hope you know.

I'm sorry you both are having to attempt to put on a happy face with all of those reminders that it just seems to come easily to some people.


*Other people's babies mentioned*
My cousin is coming with her new baby to stay with us for several nights. I'm hosting a get together with all the other new moms in my life so they can all commiserate - I will have at least 4 moms with their toddlers/babies. I wouldn't say I'm in a jealous place but it's definitely a strong reminder in a sensitive time of the year for me (original EDD only a couple weeks away now). I'm trying to not dwell on it but wonder if my anxiety is related to me trying to actively ignore these big triggers.

I always assume love tits are hugs in threads like this. Also, you are seriously brave hosting a get together like that! Do they all know about your loss?